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[[image:Punch the bitch.jpg|thumb|I've told you twice, we're married in the eyes of God, and that makes you my [[bitch]].]]
[[Image:Punch the bitch.jpg|thumb|I've told you twice, we're married in the eyes of God, and that makes you my [[bitch]].]]
[[Image:Realife.jpg|thumb| [[Christianhillbilly]] has a [[special]] relationship with [[God]].]]
[[Image:Realife.jpg|thumb|[[Christianhillbilly]] has a [[special]] relationship with [[God]].]]
'''Fundamentalists''' ("fundies," "[[Ted Haggard|fgts]]") are closeted homosexual hardcore believers of their religion, which they believe is the only religion in the world that can accurately explain the truth about the history of the universe. The average fundamentalist, whether [[Christian]], [[Muslim]], ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' [[fanboy]], ''[[Star Wars]]'' [[fanboy]], [[goth]] [[fangirl]],[[Atheist]] or [[furry]], spends most of his or her time on the Internet engaged in [[flame wars|intellectual debate]] with other fundamentalists over [[shit no one cares about|subjects]] such as whether [[Jesus]], [[Islam|Muhammad]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20140908151312/http://www.petitiononline.com/12w33d/petition.html or maybe even] [[Insane Clown Posse]] wanted [[you|their followers]] to kill all the [[Jews]], [[Arabs]], [[fags]], [[etc]].
True fundamentalists write [[slashfic]] based on favorite characters from their holy [[books]], and constantly perform [[Self injury|acts of kindness]] due to their [[Conservatism|beliefs]]. FundieMENTALists do not believe in [[science]] as they believe it is a trick of [[satan]] to mislead them. Fundies also do not waste their money on [[Drug|medicine]] and would rather [[Suicide|pray]] in order to cure their cancer. In [[Latin]], "fundament" means [[ass]], ergo, all fundamentalists enjoy [[buttsecks]].
[[Image:Fundie_Billboard_in_WV.jpg|thumb|Atheism leads to Civil War.]]
[[Image:Fundie_Billboard_in_WV.jpg|thumb|Atheism leads to Civil War.]]
[[Image:Evolution_-_Did_Not_Evolve.jpg|thumb|right|This fundie never evolved from the primate stage]]
[[Image:Evolution_-_Did_Not_Evolve.jpg|thumb|right|This fundie never evolved from the primate stage.]]
[[Image:Christfaggot newspaper opinion.jpg|thumb|Will teach their children after death.]]
[[Image:Christfaggot newspaper opinion.jpg|thumb|Will teach their children after death]]
There are fundamentalists in every religion:


==[[Christian|Christianity]]==
'''Fundamentalists''' (AKA "fundies", or "[[Ted Haggard|fgts]]") are closeted homosexual hardcore believers of their religion, which they believe is the only religion in the world that can accurately explain the truth about the history of the universe. The average fundamentalist—whether [[Christian]], [[Muslim]], ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' [[fanboy]], ''[[Star Wars]]'' [[fanboy]], [[goth]] [[fangirl]], [[Atheist]], or [[furry]]—spends most of his or her time on the Internet engaged in [[Flame wars|intellectual debate]] with other fundamentalists over [[shit no one cares about|subjects]] such as whether [[Jesus]], [[Islam|Muhammad]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20140908151312/http://www.petitiononline.com/12w33d/petition.html or maybe even] the [[Insane Clown Posse]] wanted [[You|their followers]] to kill all the [[Jews]], [[Arabs]], [[fags]], [[etc]]. True fundamentalists write [[slashfic]] based on favorite characters from their holy [[books]], and constantly perform [[Self injury|acts of kindness]] due to their [[Conservatism|beliefs]]. FundieMENTALists do not believe in [[science]] as they believe it is a trick of [[Satan]] to mislead them. Fundies also do not waste their money on [[Drug|medicine]] and would rather [[Suicide|pray]] in order to cure their cancer. In [[Latin]], "fundament" means [[ass]], ergo, all fundamentalists enjoy [[buttsecks]].


Note: Christian fundamentalists are identifiable by their [[obese|large]], [[incest|incestuous]] families. The husbands refer to their wives as "Mrs. ''[their surname]''". Fundamentalist wives – assuming that they have not had their tongues cut out – usually refer to their husbands as "my [[Pwned|Master]]", and are seen as [[breeders|baby-machines]], as these crazy-ass fundies say that all birth control is wrong.
There are fundamentalists in every religion...


Christian fundamentalism is based upon the "five fundamentals" of the Christian Faith. But the average fucktard is too stupid to consult [[google]] before labeling someone a fundamentalist. This induces butthurt among Christian fundamentalists akin to Star Wars fundamentalists who get butthurt after being confused with Star Trek fundamentalists. The average fucktard is identifiable by their inability to explain what fundamentalism is, why the person or group in question is fundamentalist, and what the fuck believing in a list of '''basic Christian doctrines''' has to do with being a self-righteous, judgemental fuckwit.
== [[Christian]]ity ==


===Communities===
Note: Christian fundamentalists are identifiable by their [[Obese|large]], [[incest]]uous families. The husbands refer to their wives as "Mrs. ''[their surname]''". Fundamentalist wives&mdsash;assuming that they have not had their tongues cut out—usually refer to their husbands as "my [[Pwned|Master]]", and are seen as [[Breeders|baby-machines]], as these crazy-ass fundies say that all birth control is wrong.
*[[Christian#Baptist|Baptists]]
*[[Conservatives]]
*[[God Hates Fags]]
*[[Objectiveministries]].com
*[[ReligiousFreedomWatch.com]]
*[[Republicans]]
*[[Teens-4-christ|Teens-4-Christ]]
*[[Focus on the Family]]


===People on the [[Internets]]===
Christian fundamentalism is based upon the "five fundamentals" of the Christian Faith. But the average fucktard is too stupid to consult [[Google]] before labeling someone a fundamentalist. This induces butthurt among Christian fundamentalists akin to Star Wars fundamentalists who get butthurt after being confused with Star Trek fundamentalists. The average fucktard is identifiable by their inability to explain what fundamentalism is, why the person or group in question is fundamentalist, and what the fuck believing in a list of '''basic Christian doctrines''' has to do with being a self-righteous, judgemental fuckwit.


*[[YouTube]] users:
=== Communities ===
**[[VenomFangX]]
**[[Tony48219]]: Murdered a fellow student for Jeezus
**[[Yokeup]] lonely
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/PeeFinster PeeFinster] Deleted
**[http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRivetthead TheRivetthead]: MILITIA MEMBER WHO KNOWS THE DAY OF THE [[rapture]]
*DeviantART:
**[[DBoyWheeler]]
**[[MarkyVigoroth]]
**[[PilgrimJohn]]
**[[RejectedDreams]]
**[[Lordelthibar]]
*Other:
**[[Carico]]
**[[Purelily]]
**[[Andy Schlafly]]
**[[Goldenplate]]


===[[IRL]]===
* [[Christian#Baptist|Baptists]]
* [[Conservatives]]
* [[God Hates Fags]]
* [[Objectiveministries]].com
* [[ReligiousFreedomWatch.com]]
* [[Republicans]]
* [[Teens-4-christ|Teens-4-Christ]]
* [[Focus on the Family]]


*[[Chick tracts|Jack Chick]]
=== People on the [[Internets]] ===
*[[Ann Coulter]]
*[[Jerry Falwell]]
*[[John Hagee]]
*[[Ted Haggard]]
*[[Sarah Palin]]
*[[Pat Robertson]]
*[[Kerney Thomas]]
*[[Way of the master]]
*[[The Rapture]]
*[[Myah Walker]]
*[[Dan Lirette]]
*[[Tim James]]


==Lord of the Rings==
* [[YouTube]] users:
** [[VenomFangX]]
** [[Tony48219]]: Murdered a fellow student for Jeezus
** [[Yokeup]] lonely
** {{ytuservideos|PeeFinster}}: deleted
** {{ytuservideos|TheRivetthead}} MILITIA MEMBER WHO KNOWS THE DAY OF THE [[rapture|RAPTURE]] (deleted).
* DeviantART:
** [[DBoyWheeler]]
** [[MarkyVigoroth]]
** [[PilgrimJohn]]
** [[RejectedDreams]]
** [[Lordelthibar]]
* Other:
** [[Carico]]
** [[Purelily]]
** [[Andy Schlafly]]
** [[Goldenplate]]


LotR fundamentalists believe every single word of the trilogy is flawless, there are no plot holes, and Tolkien is the greatest wordsmith in human history.
=== [[IRL]] ===
 
* [[Chick tracts|Jack Chick]]
* [[Ann Coulter]]
* [[Jerry Falwell]]
* [[John Hagee]]
* [[Ted Haggard]]
* [[Sarah Palin]]
* [[Pat Robertson]]
* [[Kerney Thomas]]
* [[Way of the master]]
* [[The Rapture]]
* [[Myah Walker]]
* [[Dan Lirette]]
* [[Tim James]]
 
== Lord of the Rings ==
 
LotR fundamentalists believe that every single word of the trilogy is flawless, there are no plot holes, and J. R. R. Tolkien is the greatest wordsmith in human history.


They react violently to questions such as, "Why didn't the giant eagles just fly the ring to Mount Doom?"
They react violently to questions such as, "Why didn't the giant eagles just fly the ring to Mount Doom?"


==[[Scientology]]==
== [[Scientology]] ==
*[[L. Ron Hubbard]]
 
*[[David Miscarriage]]
* [[L. Ron Hubbard]]
*[[Tom Cruise]]
* [[David Miscarriage]]
* [[Tom Cruise]]


==[[Islam]]==
== [[Islam]] ==
*[[Arabs]]
*[[Futhman]]
*[[Iran]]
*[[Osama bin Laden]]


==[[Atheism]]==
* [[Arabs]]
*[[Richard Dawkins]]
* [[Futhman]]
*[[Rational Response Squad]]
* [[Iran]]
*[[The Blasphemy Challenge]]
* [[Osama bin Laden]]
*[[TheAmazingAtheist]]


==[[Internets]]==
== [[Atheism]] ==
*[[Furries]]
*[[Al_Gore|Al Goreians]]
*[[Cthulhu]]
*[[Nerds]]
*[[Raptor Jesus]]
*[[Fanboys]]
*[[Wapanese]]
*[[Ron Paul|Ron Paultards]]
*[[Anonymous]]


==Trolling fundamentlists==
* [[Richard Dawkins]]
*Tell them their religion is complete bullshit.
* [[Rational Response Squad]]
*Tell them to experiment with other religions.
* [[The Blasphemy Challenge]]
*Ask their opinions on other religions.
* [[TheAmazingAtheist]]
*Mention that their religion might not be true.
 
*Ask them to [[troll]] other [[religion]], then show them how their [[religion]] is just the same as the [[troll]]ed one.
== [[Internets]] ==
*Here's for [[epic lulz]]. Become friends with a fundamentalist. Find another fundamentalist (same beliefs do not count). Copy that person's name. Tell the fundy you became friends with about this person. After that, watch the [[lulz]] from the two morons.
 
*Start any conversation with them about anything, and watch them troll themselves.
* [[Furries]]
*Also, Poe's law states it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a fundie and a parody of a fundie. This makes it easy to pretend to be a fundie and troll the fuck out of everyone.
* [[Al_Gore|Al Goreians]]
* [[Cthulhu]]
* [[Nerds]]
* [[Raptor Jesus]]
* [[Fanboys]]
* [[Wapanese]]
* [[Ron Paul|Ron Paultards]]
* [[Anonymous]]
 
== Trolling fundamentlists ==
 
* Tell them their religion is complete bullshit.
* Tell them to experiment with other religions.
* Ask their opinions on other religions.
* Mention that their religion might not be true.
* Ask them to [[troll]] other [[religion]], then show them how their religion is just the same as the [[troll]]ed one.
* Here's for [[epic lulz]]. Become friends with a fundamentalist. Find another fundamentalist (same beliefs do not count). Copy that person's name. Tell the fundy you became friends with about this person. After that, watch the [[lulz]] from the two morons.
* Start any conversation with them about anything, and watch them troll themselves.
* Also, Poe's law states it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a fundie and a parody of a fundie. This makes it easy to pretend to be a fundie and troll the fuck out of everyone.


''Remember:'' you can't spell "Fundamentalist" without "amen", "fun", "fund", "a", "mental" or "a list". Also, you can't be a fundamentalist if you're not [http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/medical/fundament an ass].
''Remember:'' you can't spell "Fundamentalist" without "amen", "fun", "fund", "a", "mental" or "a list". Also, you can't be a fundamentalist if you're not [http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/medical/fundament an ass].


==Related Links==
== Related Links ==
*[http://www.conservapedia.com Limited knowledge for all fundies]
 
*[http://www.fstdt.com Enemy of all fundies]
* [http://www.conservapedia.com Limited knowledge for all fundies]
* [http://www.fstdt.com Enemy of all fundies]
 


{{christianity}}
{{christianity}}
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]

Revision as of 05:50, 21 June 2015

I've told you twice, we're married in the eyes of God, and that makes you my bitch.
Christianhillbilly has a special relationship with God.
Atheism leads to Civil War.
This fundie never evolved from the primate stage.
Will teach their children after death

Fundamentalists (AKA "fundies", or "fgts") are closeted homosexual hardcore believers of their religion, which they believe is the only religion in the world that can accurately explain the truth about the history of the universe. The average fundamentalist—whether Christian, Muslim, Lord of the Rings fanboy, Star Wars fanboy, goth fangirl, Atheist, or furry—spends most of his or her time on the Internet engaged in intellectual debate with other fundamentalists over subjects such as whether Jesus, Muhammad, or maybe even the Insane Clown Posse wanted their followers to kill all the Jews, Arabs, fags, etc. True fundamentalists write slashfic based on favorite characters from their holy books, and constantly perform acts of kindness due to their beliefs. FundieMENTALists do not believe in science as they believe it is a trick of Satan to mislead them. Fundies also do not waste their money on medicine and would rather pray in order to cure their cancer. In Latin, "fundament" means ass, ergo, all fundamentalists enjoy buttsecks.

There are fundamentalists in every religion...

Christianity

Note: Christian fundamentalists are identifiable by their large, incestuous families. The husbands refer to their wives as "Mrs. [their surname]". Fundamentalist wives&mdsash;assuming that they have not had their tongues cut out—usually refer to their husbands as "my Master", and are seen as baby-machines, as these crazy-ass fundies say that all birth control is wrong.

Christian fundamentalism is based upon the "five fundamentals" of the Christian Faith. But the average fucktard is too stupid to consult Google before labeling someone a fundamentalist. This induces butthurt among Christian fundamentalists akin to Star Wars fundamentalists who get butthurt after being confused with Star Trek fundamentalists. The average fucktard is identifiable by their inability to explain what fundamentalism is, why the person or group in question is fundamentalist, and what the fuck believing in a list of basic Christian doctrines has to do with being a self-righteous, judgemental fuckwit.

Communities

People on the Internets

IRL

Lord of the Rings

LotR fundamentalists believe that every single word of the trilogy is flawless, there are no plot holes, and J. R. R. Tolkien is the greatest wordsmith in human history.

They react violently to questions such as, "Why didn't the giant eagles just fly the ring to Mount Doom?"

Scientology

Islam

Atheism

Internets

Trolling fundamentlists

  • Tell them their religion is complete bullshit.
  • Tell them to experiment with other religions.
  • Ask their opinions on other religions.
  • Mention that their religion might not be true.
  • Ask them to troll other religion, then show them how their religion is just the same as the trolled one.
  • Here's for epic lulz. Become friends with a fundamentalist. Find another fundamentalist (same beliefs do not count). Copy that person's name. Tell the fundy you became friends with about this person. After that, watch the lulz from the two morons.
  • Start any conversation with them about anything, and watch them troll themselves.
  • Also, Poe's law states it is almost impossible to tell the difference between a fundie and a parody of a fundie. This makes it easy to pretend to be a fundie and troll the fuck out of everyone.

Remember: you can't spell "Fundamentalist" without "amen", "fun", "fund", "a", "mental" or "a list". Also, you can't be a fundamentalist if you're not an ass.

Related Links


Fundamentalist
is part of a series on
Christianity
Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
Heathens [-+]
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