GurigorloX

GurigorloX (Powerword: Michael Akyuz) is an unoriginal, unfunny shit excuse for a satirist, evident in his current magnum opus, the "DarkEmoMario64" video series. He made his start as a commentator, and his notable targets were an 8-year-old bitching about PBS Kids, Benthelooney, some faggot from IGN who got pissed off at Dead or Alive for having scantily-clad women in it, and Movieblob. Though he never really reached the success of youngbloodfantasy91, he gained infamy for a video he produced while still a member of the ponyfag subculture (more details below). He is also a proud ensign of the Sony Defense Force (God knows what he does with his PlayStation at night), and was an enthusiastic supporter of GAYmergate back in 2014-2015.

Defending cloppers

In 2013, during his days of screwing a Twilight Sparkle poster sideways, Guri was (rightfully) getting slammed with comments by people saying his habit was disgusting and he needs to get some fresh air. Between his sensitive ass not being able to handle people calling him out and still trying to decipher the deep, hidden messages of Evangelion, his typical teenage angst coiled around him, which led to his first foray into self-pity and jackassery. He ends up comparing anti-cloppers to homophobes and racists, forgetting people like PaulandAmy went to jail for doing similar fucked up shit.

Mirrored because he deleted the original in a fit of rage, LOL!

	“	Normal is overrated.	„
	—GurigorloX on the subject.

Later days

After running out of SJWs to rage at in commentary form, GurigorloX was starved for source material. He decided to get into some shit with 03bgood to try and piss him off after watching some of his videos. This prompted him to create a video called "Manchild Stereotype That Populates The Internet," which in turn begat DarkEmoMario64.

The video series was a tremendous success, and after sucking Emer Prevost's cock multiple times, he got the fat prick to watch his garbage WMM vids. Emer is now subscribed to Guri and the two like to suck each other off. He also immediately jumped on the Clay Claymore bandwagon, making cringe compilations out of people Clay already covered, like Matthew Davis. All of this pretty much furthered his obsession with GoAnimate retards to the point where DEM64 became more influenced by them. ("X?" more like "bad pun on X!") There was also this one Enterbot named Alexander Cayford or whatever.

DarkEmoMario64

Guri's self-aware version of Sonichu, DarkEmoMario64 was born on December 5, 2014 in a gas station bathroom-turned meth lab. DEM64 whacks it to My Little Pony (Sound familiar?) and other cartoons, Nintendo games, anime, and of all people, Donald Trump. He is known for his hatred of mature games like Call of Poopy Dookie Flooky Cookie and Grand Theft Auto. These videos are all intensely boring, as they mostly consist of a Speakonia voice going "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" for 9 minutes while giving typical manchild responses to things he doesn't like.

General bullshit and hypocrisy

• Tells people to form their own opinions and not follow the general consensus, but gets defensive when you bash The Last of Us or the PS4.

• Hates Mario and Pokemon for their silly premises, but likes the Sonic games, notable for both their quality (or lack thereof) and fandom.

• Tries to atone for wanting to bang horses two and a half years ago, but makes "joke" tributes to MLP where he expresses his fetish for tortured cartoon horses when he should have just stepped the fuck away from that show entirely.

• Made several videos bashing Undertale, because he has a hateboner for that shit game.

GurigorloX vs. Bourg Productions

About DarkEmoMario64, the character is also based on 03bgood's racism (that of being, calling Clay Claymore a "nigger"). Anyways, on a rant about the commentary community by a fatass redneck named Bourg Productions, who is, of course, a grassroots conservative who (jokingly) hates anyone who isn't white or straight who has been on the Internet for almost a decade. Anyways, in the comment section, when someone asked Bourg about his thoughts on Claymore, he called him a "nigger who can't take criticism" and that he "lost a lot of credibility from his #WTFU commentary". Bourg successfully joked about wanting to join the Ku Klux Klan, so what happened? Guri, being the liberal SJW-in-denial, took it by salt and got blocked by the redneck after asking Bourg if he can block him since he prefers "not to be associated with proudly open racists".

Hours passed, and Guri decided to cry Liberal tears to his fanboys, showing how much of a Clay Claymore fanboy he is. Also, edgy metal music.

So...I guess, Guri considers Bourg kinda worse than Chris Chan and 03bgood.

External Links

• gurigorloX His YouTube channel.
• His Steam account.
• yapuuo Hidden DeviantArt account.
• His secret NSFW Tumblr account. Proof that Guri is a fucking pervert.
• Back-up account. Contains compilations of his shit.

See Also

• Benthelooney
• A-Log - Guri sounds a little bit like this guy.
• youngbloodfantasy91 - his comrade
• Davidwash3r3 - guy who mirrored the "Defending Cloppers" video and preserved lulz
• Emer Prevost - his new friend, apparently
• Brony
• Satire
• Clay Claymore
• Matthew Davis

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