Trinity Bates

Trinity Bates is a dead eight year old Australian Prostatot who turned tricks in Bundy as the only toddler to have ever done DP. Already well known for their online exploits, Trinity's parents brought her to that shithole of a town to hide their cocaine addiction. After renting her out for the day to an American guy, her parents went to sleep, leaving the exhausted cashcow under the watchful eye of their baby. When mummy and daddy returned, they alerted the police to the child abduction. This was most likely enough time to hide the evidence, snort up the current gram of coke, and transfer funds into foreign bank accounts.

Kidnapping

While some argue that Trinity was murdered by a 20-year-old retard, other witnesses claim that her teddybear sprung to life and kidnapped her. Either that or an Abbo. Trinity's parents were sleeping in the next room with other swingers from the Catholic Church Childlove branch. They reported to the police that they were taking turns checking on their children, every 3 days. At approximately lulzo'clock, Australian Eastern Summer Time, 2 days earlier, her father checked on the children and they were all fine. At around failo'clock the couple returned from the swingers party to find a bed full of used condoms and Trinity's soaked underwear. They immediately reported to the police at their leisure some time later.

Trolls get Fed

At least 100 Facebook groups showed up crying for people to find Trinity's killer. Said Facebook groups were immediately inundated with spam, trolls and porn before being shut down by the police. Bundaberg people were excited that they were somewhat popular again. Pedophiles fapped big time to channel 7 while claiming DO WANT, and it was still shit nobody cares about. What's interesting to note however, is how fast Rudkips turned the murder of an 8 year old into a cheap anti-internet point. Shouldn't he be threatening the murderer, not a bunch of kids on the internet?

Who's To Blame?

• The parents.

PROTIP:
ba·by-sit [bey-bee-sit] verb, -sat, -sit·ting.
–verb (used without object)

1. 1. to take charge of a child while the parents are temporarily away.

–verb (used with object)

1. 2. to baby-sit for (a child): We've placed an ad for someone to baby-sit the youngsters in the evening.
2. 3. to take watchful responsibility for; tend: It will be necessary for someone to baby-sit the machine until it is running properly.

Also, ba·by·sit. [Origin: 1945–50]

• Australian EDiot Yiri (Update February 2010: Australian law enforcement agreed and he's now in jail for this!)
• Pedobear
• Some retard they found

An ED vandal said

“	First off. how about how this lovely young girl was somebodies child. ... My best wishes to the Parents ...	„
—Fuedfgtz

Yep and a child to terrible parents.

“	My best wishes to the Parents	„
—Fuedfgtz

Hopefully they don't breed again.

But how can I help?

While many may feel unable to help, and shattered by the sheer inhumanity of what has transpired, there is actually a tremendous amount you can do.

• If you have any information about Australian Pedophile rings, call 1800-PEDOBEAR (if you are calling internationally dial 0014480000-LOL-RAPE).
• Join all 480 Trinity Bates groups on facebook.
• Send Money!!
• Send Money!!
• Moar Money!!
• Send that fucking money!

Different rules apply to /b/tards.

• Find Trinity's dead body
• Lose your virginity to it.
• Pics or it didn't happen
• Post said pics to /b/
• If you're too much of a virgin to do the above, shoop rule 34 of Trinity and post that on /b/.

See Also

• lol
• Rape
• Missing white woman syndrome
• The interview concerning this article

External Links

• ED is killing the interweb
• BAWWW
• Parents pretending to care

Trinity Bates is part of a series on Ausfailia [CollapseExpand]

People Aboriginals ♦ Adolf Hitler ♦ AlanaJonze ♦ Andrew Quah ♦ Annalise Walliker ♦ Anton ♦ Ashley Towns ♦ Aush0k ♦ Austral-Azn ♦ Bill Spider ♦ MichaelDragon800 ♦ Blissyu2 ♦ Blunty3000 ♦ Bogans ♦ Boochan ♦ Booster4444 ♦ Brenton Tarrant ♦ Carly Ryan ♦ Catherine Deveny ♦ Cbee ♦ Charmaine Dragun ♦ Chin-chan ♦ Clare Werbeloff ♦ Cocaine Babe ♦ Corey Worthington ♦ DariusHunter ♦ Darkfalz ♦ Darkspeeds ♦ David Thorne ♦ Degen ♦ Dennis Ferguson ♦ Einsidler ♦ Emmalina ♦ Filthy Frank ♦ Garry Francis Newman ♦ Gas Mask Girl ♦ Geoffrey Leonard ♦ Gina Rinehart ♦ Graykat ♦ Heath Ledger ♦ Iain Hall ♦ Jake Bilardi ♦ James Packer ♦ Jarrad Willis ♦ Jasonafex ♦ Jodie Gater and Stephanie Gestier ♦ Joel "Inciter" Ivory ♦ Josef Fritzl ♦ Likeicare ♦ Typo-Chan ♦ Leah Costa ♦ Liz Shaw ♦ Loveinavoid ♦ Martin Bryant ♦ Matt Crimmins ♦ Mel Gibson ♦ Mickyy Moo ♦ MyNameIsLenny ♦ Neighbours ♦ Riana ♦ Rolf Harris ♦ Rove McManus ♦ Rupert Murdoch ♦ Sharee ♦ Snapesnogger ♦ Sophie Delezio ♦ Steve Hodder-Watt ♦ Steve Irwin ♦ Summoner Yuna ♦ Super Planet Dolan ♦ Suzi Olsen ♦ Tarisai Vushe ♦ Techa ♦ Teenage Kings of Werribee ♦ Thedreadedkettle ♦ TheHill88 ♦ Tim Ward ♦ Tom Wood ♦ Trap-kun ♦ Trinity Bates ♦ Yiri ♦ CommunityChannel ♦ Stylidiumlane ♦ Places Adelaide ♦ Brisbane ♦ Canberra ♦ Great Western Highway ♦ Melbourne ♦ Mill Park Tree ♦ New Zealand ♦ Perth ♦ Port Arthur ♦ Sydney ♦ Tasmania ♦ Toowoomba Politics Australian Internet Filter ♦ Australian Federal Police ♦ Australian Media ED Interview ♦ Paula Benson ♦ Book of CADNOCAT ♦ The Chaser ♦ Julia Gillard ♦ Pauline Hanson ♦ John Howard ♦ The Kate Party ♦ Liberal Party of Australia ♦ Operation Titstorm ♦ Project Freeweb ♦ Kevin Rudd ♦ National Anthem ♦ Sorry Day ♦ Dianne Thorley ♦ Nick Xenophon ♦ Tony Abbott

Featured article March 1, 2010
Preceded by Branca	Trinity Bates	Succeeded by Chasethehedgehog