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Dinosaur: Difference between revisions

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{{notice|
{{spoilers|THE DINOSAURS DIED OUT BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF}}
* If you want to learn moar about dinosaurs, read a book.
* If you want your education about dinosaurs to be destroyed, go [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinosaurs here].
* If you want to [[Shock Site|shock]] a [[Lie|friend]], get them go to [http://www.walkthedinosaur.com this site].
* If you enjoy e-[[drama]], please continue.}}
 
[[Image:dinowobble.GIF|thumb|Dinosaurs = Wobbly]]
 
[[Image:Trolltops.png|thumb|Some dinosaurs had [[trollface|trollfaces]].]]
 
[[Image:Nomnomnomdinosaurs.jpg|thumb|[[OM NOM NOM NOM]]]]
[[Image:Nomnomnomdinosaurs.jpg|thumb|[[OM NOM NOM NOM]]]]
'''Dinosaurs''' were big fucking lizard-things that ruled the earth sixty five million years before the Internet that would eat the fuck out of you if you looked at them funny.


[[Image:rm_sarcosuchus.jpg|thumb|[[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|IM IN UR ENVIRONMENT OCCUPYIN UR NICHEZ.]]]]
==Species==
[[File:Trex-vs-ankylosaurus.jpg|thumb|As you can see, T-Rex isn't quite omnipotent in the dinosaur world!]]
[[File:Penisaur.gif|thumb| [[Dinosexx0r|Sexy]] Triceratops.]]
[[Image:Spinozaur.jpg|thumb|Contrary to what some fags believe, this dinosaur is a [[homosex]]]]
[[File:Tumblr mr6anqAkXO1rk929lo1 1280.png|thumb|The quickest and easiest way to make a scaly [[an hero]].]]
[[Image:Tyrannosaurus vs Spinosaurus.jpg|thumb|Spinosaurus about to get his dick kicked in.]]
There were loads and loads of dinosaurs, but the most famous ones are as follows:
* '''Tyrannosaurus Rex''' - sometimes just known as T. Rex, 'cause shit's more [[gangsta]]. The meanest fucking thing that ever lived, T. Rex was made of win and "Fuck you". He had enormous jaws that could swallow you whole in one bite if you dared laugh at his fucked up little arms that he used to play piano. Some people claim that two no-name wannabe dinosaurs, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus could beat T. Rex in a fight, but those people are misinformed.
* '''Triceratops''' - That awesome spiky dinosaur that looked a bit like a rhino on steroids. Triceratops was built like a tank and fucked shit up on a regular and consistent basis, even taking on T. Rex and winning. Recently, another loser dinosaur trying to score some points on the paleontology circuit, Torosaurus, tried to move in and steal Triceratops' thunder. Triceratops pwned that bitch so bad that [http://www.montana.edu/cpa/news/nwview.php?article=8635 Torosaurus doesn't even fucking exist any more]. Here is a [http://www.tubechop.com/watch/2009115 Triceratops video]. <!-- Excerpt from "Top 10 Most Disappointing Games of 2011" Angry Joe Show -->


'''Dinosaurs''' have a lot more internet relevance than it seems, as they are involved with the two largest bases of [[fucktards]] on the [[internet]] - [[creationists]] and [[furries]]. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.
* '''Velociraptor''' - Stephen Spielberg gave these guys a two hour and a half long [[blowjob]] when he made the movie ''Jurassic Park'', making it out that they were super-smart and fast and deadly and could eat [[Samuel L. Jackson]] and learn how to open doors and stalk children through deserted restaurant kitchens and shit. [[IRL]], however, they were about the size of a chicken and were covered in soft, fluffy feathers like a bunch of [[faggots]]. Scientists argue that this is good evidence that velociraptors were nature's first design for what would later evolve into the [[Internet tough guy]].
** Also,it is proven that Velociraptors had feathers. Always bring up this fact, specially to the [[Scalies]].
* '''Stegosaurus''' - A cheap, [[Chinese]] knock-off version of Triceratops, but no where near as cool. Notable for having two brains, a little one in its head and a larger one in its ass.
* '''Parasaurolophus''' - Parasaurolophuses are sometimes called duckbills because of the stupid shape of their mouths. They are semi-aquatic dinosaurs known for the large horns on the backs of their heads as well as their happy-go-lucky demeanours and cheery cry of "Yep, yep, yep!" Tragically, baby parasaurolophuses are often [http://image2.findagrave.com/photos/2004/240/3038_109373926132.jpg murdered by their abusive fathers].
*'''Pachycepalosaurus''' - This dinosaur used its ten inch thick skull to charge and hit its enemies weak points for [[massive damage]].
* '''Brachiosaurus''' - One of those gay ones with the long neck, brachiosaurus was one of the tallest dinosaurs ever to walk the earth. They're not terribly interesting, because all they did was eat leaves and [[fart]] and never really got into fights or anything cool like that.
* '''Dracorex Hogwartsia''' - This unfortunate dinosaur was discovered by some paleontologists who were also [[Harry Potter]] [[fantards]] who couldn't keep their obsession with shitty children's literature out of their professional work. Its name means ''dragon king of Hog warts" in Latin, which is fucking gay.
* '''Pterodactyl''' - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur [[groupie]] flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.
* '''Plesiosaurus, aka the Loch Ness Monster''' - Like Pterodactyl, Plesiosaurus wasn't a true member of the Dinosaur Kingdom, but rather more like an aquatic Brontosaurus wannabe with flippers. Some argue that God made it 4,000 years ago by "sewing a giant snake]] through the shell & limbs of a huge sea turtle". One species, Elasmosaurus, was almost all neck, making it easier to strangle.
* '''Ankylosaurus''' - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T. Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T. Rex would want to fuck with it [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr4n7nnu7q8| especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T. Rex's bones like match-sticks!] Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes easy prey for even weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!
*'''Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus''': One of the lesser known internet relevances dinosaurs have. Two of the most infamous dinosaurs of OUR time. They have been known to cause massive amounts of bawwing and [[drama]]. How is this possible? With the powers of Jurassic Park and Dino Crisis 2. Most of this drama can actually turn into fucking flamewars. Most of the drama happens on Youtube. Go onto any video about Jurassic Park or Dino Crisis 2, you'll find someone bitching. Why are all the fags whining? Apparently, all of this is generated from the [[fact]] that Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus can kill T. Rex in a fight. Though bigger than T. Rex, the Spinosaurus was primarily a fish eater. Its teeth and narrow jaws were for spearing fast-moving fish - useless for fighting an animal of T. Rex's size. (Also, the pretty, decorative fin on it's back, probably used like a solar panel, was a major weak spot and made it look like a huge [[faggot]].)


Dinosaurs are the official best thing ever.
==Philosoraptor==
[[Image:Philosoraptor.jpg|thumb|I eat therefore I [[nom]]]]
{{main|Philosoraptor}}
Philosoraptor's Theory of Dinosaurs asserts that non-material abstract (but substantial) forms (or ideas) ([[Creationism]]), and not the material world of change known to us through [[Scientology]], possess the [[drugs|highest and most fundamental kind of reality]].  Or in [[retard|layman's]] terms - did [[dinosaurs]] eat [[Baby Jesus]]?
As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of [[fucktards]] on the [[Internet]] - [[creationists]] and [[furries]]. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.


<center><youtube>vIvtVSzKj8c</youtube></center>
Dinosaurs are the official best thing ever. This is mainly because of the fact that they were fucking awesome and way cooler than Cawadoody or any of that other [[gay]] [[shit]] you're interested in.


==Unpopular Science==
==Unpopular Science==
[[Image:Jesus on dinosaur.jpg|thumb|right|This was taken from the [[Conservapedia]]'s first article on dinosaurs.]]
[[Image:Jesus on dinosaur.jpg|thumb|right|This was taken from the [[Conservapedia]]'s first article on dinosaurs.]]
Mentioning dinosaurs is a sure-fire way to get a rise from any [[creationist]] who will claim either:
Mentioning dinosaurs is a sure-fire way to get a rise from any [[creationist]] who will claim either:


* Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years.
* Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years.
* The word "Dragon" in the Bible actually means "Dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.
* The word "dragon" in the Bible actually means "dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.
* Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are [[Richard Dawkins|hoaxes made up be evil scientists who want to destroy religion]].  
* Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are hoaxes made up by evil scientists who want to destroy religion.  
* Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of [[dragon|dragons]], re-arranged by [[Satan]] and his [[atheist|minions]] to make Christians doubt the [[Bible]].
* Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of [[dragon|dragons]], re-arranged by [[Satan]] and his minions to make Christians doubt the [[Bible]].
* Dinosaur bones were put by [[God]] just for the [[lulz]].
* Dinosaur bones were put by [[God]] just for the [[lulz]].


It should be noted however that not all [[head|faith-heads]] automatically reject the idea of dinosaurs, as is the case of [[Raptor Jesus]], who is worshiped by millions.
It should be noted however that not all faith-heads automatically reject the idea of dinosaurs, as is the case of [[Raptor Jesus]], who is worshiped by millions.


===[[Evolution]]===
===[[Evolution]]===
[[Image:DinoExtinction.jpg‎|thumb|left|[[Fact|Truth]]]]
Most dinosaurs became either reptiles or birds. This is what most people think. As it turns out, dinosaurs are even more distantly related from humans than previously thought.
[[Image:Niggersaurus.JPG|thumb|left|[http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2007/12/bizarre-dinosaurs/nigersaurus-text Not quite a joke.]]]


Most dinosaurs became <del>either reptiles</del>(no retard) <del>or</del> birds. [[Some argue|This is what most people think]]. As it turns out, dinosaurs are even more distantly related from humans than previously thought.
Before they evolved into apes, [[niggers]] were originally dinosaurs. Specialized bones - noticeably the enormous lips - were found in [[Africa]]. Scientists refer to it as a giant lawnmower. Its diet is unknown, although judging by it's descendants it's an easy guess.
 
Before they evolved into apes, [[niggers]] were originally dinosaurs. Specialized bones - noticeably the enormous lips - were found in [[Africa]]. Scientists refer to it as a giant lawnmower. Its diet is unknown, [[Watermelonz|although judging by it's descendants it's an easy guess]].


The idea that humans are directly descended from dinosaurs should not be confused with [[Reptoids]], which are lizards which came from outer space and take on the form of humans in order to take over the world. Strangely, the humans they chose to resemble are usually [[white people]], not [[niggers]].
The idea that humans are directly descended from dinosaurs should not be confused with [[Reptoids]], which are lizards which came from outer space and take on the form of humans in order to take over the world. Strangely, the humans they chose to resemble are usually [[white people]], not [[niggers]].


===How the Dinosaurs Became [[an hero|Extinct]]===
===How the Dinosaurs Became Extinct===
It was once widely believed that a giant meteorite caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, blocking out the sun, causing the next ice age, and ultimately killing all the cold-blooded animals, but anyone that still believes this is a [[fucktard]]. Others believe it was an ancient form of [[global warming]]. Some think it was [[God]].


<del>[[Some argue|Most scientists believe]]</del> It was once widely believed that a giant meteorite [[banhammer|caused the extinction of]] the dinosaurs, blocking out the sun, causing the next ice age, and ultimately [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|killing all the cold-blooded animals]], but anyone that still believes this is a [[fucktard]].
How the dinosaurs became extinct has been debated by scientists for years. Few other people care.
 
[[Hippie|Others]] believe it was an ancient form of [[global warming]]. [[Retard|Some]] think it was [[God]].
 
How the dinosaurs became extinct has been debated by scientists for years. [[Shit nobody cares about|Few other people care.]]


==[[Scalies]]==
==[[Scalies]]==
[[File:WTF Scalies.png|thumb|right|This is what scalies fantasize about.]]
{{quote|Reptiles are abhorrent because of their cold body, pale color, cartilaginous skeleton, filthy skin, fierce aspect, calculating eye, offensive smell, harsh voice, squalid habitation, and terrible venom; wherefore their Creator has not exerted his powers to make many of them.|Carl von Linné, trolling scalies.}}


[[Image:Paw attack.jpg|thumb|left|We only need one picture of furry art on this page, thank you very much.]]
Scalies are [[furries]] who have [[fursona|fursonas]] of reptiles instead of cute fuzzy animals. As is typical of the sort of people who would feel that they needed a seperate name for their own unique subsection of retarded anthropomorphic animal pr0n, they are fiercely defensive of their name, as they have ''scales'', not fur. Such insignificant, [[aspie|Aspergian]] details should not be noted, as they are all still scumbags and no closer to [[Raptor Jesus]] than other furries.
 
Scalies are [[furries]] who have [[fursona|fursonas]] of reptiles instead of cute fuzzy animals. They are fiercely defensive of their names, as they have [[shit nobody cares about|''scales'', not fur]]. Such insignificant details should not be noted, as [[truth|they are all still scumbags]] and no closer to [[Raptor Jesus]] than other furries.
 
Favorite sexual deviancy among scalies include [[MPreg|egg-shitting]] in a permanent orgasmic state akin to [[shit]] art and wrapping their forked tongues around throbbing lizard [[cock]]. Many lizards and reptiles however do not have cocks but a single hole known as a cloaca - where [[shit]], [[urine]] and [[cum]] all squirt out, which probably enhances the flavor.
 
Most scalies are either dinosaurs or [[FYIAD|dragons]]. The dinosaur of choice is always a raptor. Not a ''Stegosaurus'' with a brain the size of a walnut or a hideous egg-eater. It's always a raptor. This serves only as further [[Raptor Jesus|blasphemy]]. The reason behind always choosing a raptor is that scalies also have a [[pawfur]], [[vore]], and [[guro]] [[fetish]] and enjoy ripping their partners apart with their feet and eating them.
 
Actually, since [[YOU'RE A BIRD!|birds are said to be the dinosaurs' closest living relatives]], the dino-furries should be classified amongst ANOTHER subgroup: the "[[Furry|Avians]]".
 
==Spinosaurus & Giganotosaurus==
 
[[Image:Spinozaur.jpg|thumb|Contrary to what some fags believe, this dinosaur is a [[homosex]]]]
 
One of the lesser known internet relevances dinosaurs have. Two of the most [[gay|infamous]] dinosaurs of OUR time. They have been known to cause massive amounts of [[BAWWWWWW|bawwing]] and [[drama]]. How is this possible? With the [[faggotry|powers]] of JurASSic Park and [[Shit nobody cares about|Dino Crisis 2]]. Most of this drama can actually turn into fucking flamewars.
Most of the drama happens on [[Typical|Youtube]].
 
Trust me, go onto any video about Jurassic Park or Dino Crisis 2, you'll find someone bitching.
 
Why are all the fags whining?
 
Apparently, all of this is genereated from the [[fact]] that Spinosaurus/[[Girlvinyl|Giganotosaurus]] can [[rape|kill]] T. Rex in a fight.
 
Of course, most of these [[newfags|intellectual people]] don't realize they're a bunch of retards.
[[Image:Tyrannosaurus vs Spinosaurus.jpg|thumb|[[n00b|Spinosaurus]] about to get kicked in.]]
 
'''Here are some facts help you be [[moar]] smart:'''
 
*[[OM NOM NOM NOM|T. Rex had a bite force of four tons.]]
 
*Spinosaurus, though bigger than T. Rex, was primarily a [[cunnilingus|fish eater]]. Its teeth and narrow jaws were for spearing fast-moving fish - useless for fighting an animal of T. Rex's [[XBOX HUEG|size]].
 
*T. Rex had teeth the size of [[cocks|bananas.]]


*T. Rex was better than [[you]].
Favorite sexual deviancy among scalies include egg-shitting in a permanent orgasmic state akin to [[shit]] art and wrapping their forked tongues around throbbing lizard [[cock]]. Many lizards and reptiles however do not have cocks but a single hole known as a cloaca - where [[shit]], [[urine]] and [[cum]] all squirt out, which probably enhances the flavor.


So, if you see anyone say "spino culd pwn T _Rex asS", they're most likely a a newfag, and you should begin the [[troll|obvious.]]
Most scalies are either dinosaurs or dragons. The dinosaur of choice is always a raptor. Not a ''Stegosaurus'' with a brain the size of a walnut or a hideous egg-eater. It's always a raptor. This serves only as further blasphemy. The reason behind always choosing a raptor is that scalies also have a [[pawfur]], [[vore]], and [[guro]] [[fetish]] and enjoy ripping their partners apart with their feet and eating them.


==[[forced meme|Philosoraptor]]==
Actually, since birds are said to be the dinosaurs' closest living relatives, the dino-furries should be classified amongst ANOTHER subgroup: the "Avians".


===Central tenet===
==[http://dinosaurs.about.com/od/dinosaurcontroversies/Dinosaur_Controversies.htm Dinosaur controversies]==
 
Philosoraptor's Theory of Dinosaurs asserts that non-material abstract (but substantial) forms (or ideas) ([[Creationism]]), and not the material world of change known to us through [[Scientology]], possess the [[drugs|highest and most fundamental kind of reality]].  Or in [[retard|layman's]] terms - did [[dinosaurs]] eat [[Baby Jesus]]? <br>
[[Image:Philosoraptor.jpg|thumb|I eat therefore I [[nom]]]]
===Not central tenet===
 
[[Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?]]
 
[[Image:Orlysaurus.jpg|thumb|left|[[O RLY?]]]]
====We Covet a Thoughtful Dinosaur[http://www.wecovet.com/wecovet/2009/06/we-covet-a-thoughtful-dinosaur.html]====
 
{{quote|There are still many mysteries surrounding dinosaurs. We know that they're extinct (duh), and we know that they could be vicious carnivores and hippie-esque herbivores. But we still don't know for sure what they looked like and we definitely don't know if they ever had any deep thoughts. I mean, it's not likely that they pondered existence, but it's a nice idea, no?}}
 
====Dinosaur controversies[http://dinosaurs.about.com/od/dinosaurcontroversies/Dinosaur_Controversies.htm]====
[[Image:Dinorider.jpg|thumb|IRL Dinorider]]
[[Image:Nigger back of bus.jpg|thumb|left|Dinos sit up front. Black persons in back.]]
*Did Dinosaurs Have Arthritis?
*Did Dinosaurs Have Arthritis?
*What "Warm-Blooded" Really Means?
*What "Warm-Blooded" Really Means?
Line 113: Line 75:
*[[Cat]]s vs. Dinosaurs
*[[Cat]]s vs. Dinosaurs


==Dinosexx0r==
==Galleries==
Dinosaur pornography is remarkably popular on the internet, but what isn't?
{{Collapsegallery|Rawr|Dinosaur Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Battle T-Rex.gif
Image:Gallimimus_Steveoc86.jpg
Image:T-Rex milking.gif
File:Don't touch me, you filthy casual - dinosaur.jpg|"[[v/|Don't touch me, you filthy casual]]!"
Image:When the polar bear beat the shit out of a t rex.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Barney vore.jpg
Image:T-rex in space.jpg
Image:Dinsosaurs_-_T-Rex_Peeing.jpg
Image:The humans will never find us down here.jpg
Image:T-Rex wish.png
Image:Dinosaurs_-_Eat_Hippies.jpg
Image:Dinosaurs_-_Found_Very_Bitey.jpg
Image:dinowobble.GIF|Dinosaurs = Wobbly
Image:Dinorider.jpg|IRL Dinorider
Image:rm_sarcosuchus.jpg|IM IN UR ENVIRONMENT OCCUPYIN UR NICHEZ.
Image:The Torydactyl.jpg|The Torydactyl - the most feared and selfish of all dinosaurs.
Image:Niggersaurus.JPG|[http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2007/12/bizarre-dinosaurs/nigersaurus-text Not quite a joke.]
Image:Fossil Fuels.jpg|Today, dinosaurs are used to power our cars
Image:Orlysaurus.jpg|[[O RLY?]]
Image:Stegosauruses.gif
Image:Licensed to carry small arms.jpg
Image:Noah's ark dinosaur.jpg
Image:Nigger back of bus.jpg|Dinos sit up front. Niggers in back.
Image:Nat g dino.jpg
Image:Triceratops Buddha.jpg|The path to enlightenment?
Image:DinoExtinction.jpg‎
Image:Dinosaurs_-_Stuffed_And_Mounted.jpg
Image:Dinosaurs_-_Thank_God.jpg|Thanks [[God]]!
Image:Dinosaurs_-_Assraptor.jpg|The Assraptor stalks it's prey.
</gallery>}}<br>


{{cg|[[Rule 34]]|dinogallery|center|<gallery>
{{Collapsegallery|[[Dinosexx0r|Dinosaur pornography]] is remarkably popular on the internet, but what isn't?|Dinosexx0r Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Paw attack.jpg
Image:Rexrape.jpg
Image:Rexrape.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r2.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r2.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r3.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r3.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Dinosexx0r4.jpg
Image:Dinosexx0r4.jpg
Image:Carnsex1.jpg
Image:Carnsex1.jpg
Image:Stegosaurs mating.jpg
Image:Stegosaurs mating.jpg
Image:Dino.jpg
Image:Dino.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Kaafoursome.jpg
Image:Kaafoursome.jpg
Image:Aerie.jpg
Image:Aerie.jpg
Line 148: Line 142:
Image:TrexSeck.jpg
Image:TrexSeck.jpg
Image:Dinofap.jpg
Image:Dinofap.jpg
Image:Dinosaur Rape.jpg|It is a little known fact that dinosaurs were the world's first rapists.
Image:Loltyranosex.gif
Image:Loltyranosex.gif
Image:Iguana_sex.jpg
Image:Iguana_sex.jpg
Line 153: Line 148:
Image:Pedoraptor.jpg
Image:Pedoraptor.jpg
Image:Work-it-dino.gif
Image:Work-it-dino.gif
File:TrexFuckAni.gif
File:Please don't fire me.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
==Videos==
<center>{{videoframe|Dinosaur videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>VMzfrod7hcE</youtube>
|<youtube>vIvtVSzKj8c</youtube>
|<youtube>v=mijy8fpdI5c</youtube>
}}</center>
==See Also==
*[[Raptor Jesus]]
*[[Reptoids]]
*[[Furries]]
*[[Creationists]]
*[[Evolution]]
*[[Bible]]
*[[Christians]]
*[[Rule 34]]
*[[co/|/co/]] - Although the board is for comics and cartoons, dinosaurs tend to go down very well with /co/mrades, regardless.


==External Links==
==External Links==
Line 161: Line 176:
*[http://justflyakite.deviantart.com/ Wrong DinoSaur]
*[http://justflyakite.deviantart.com/ Wrong DinoSaur]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db-1LwQ1jks&feature=related/ JURASSIC NIGGAS]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db-1LwQ1jks&feature=related/ JURASSIC NIGGAS]
==See Also==
* [[Raptor Jesus]]
* [[Pope Dino]]
* [[Reptoids]]
* [[Furries]]
* [[Creationists]]
* [[Evolution]]
* [[Bible]]
* [[Christians]]
* [[Rule 34]]


{{science}}
{{science}}
 
{{Animals}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 3, [[2005]]|[[Tinkebell]]|[[Dinosaur]]|[[Lincoln Continental]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 3, [[2005]]|[[Tinkebell]]|[[Dinosaur]]|[[Lincoln Continental]]}}
[[Category: Trolls]]
[[Category: Trolls]]
[[Category:Memes]]
[[Category:Memes]]

Latest revision as of 19:14, 12 August 2024

OM NOM NOM NOM

Dinosaurs were big fucking lizard-things that ruled the earth sixty five million years before the Internet that would eat the fuck out of you if you looked at them funny.

Species

As you can see, T-Rex isn't quite omnipotent in the dinosaur world!
Sexy Triceratops.
Contrary to what some fags believe, this dinosaur is a homosex
The quickest and easiest way to make a scaly an hero.
Spinosaurus about to get his dick kicked in.

There were loads and loads of dinosaurs, but the most famous ones are as follows:

  • Tyrannosaurus Rex - sometimes just known as T. Rex, 'cause shit's more gangsta. The meanest fucking thing that ever lived, T. Rex was made of win and "Fuck you". He had enormous jaws that could swallow you whole in one bite if you dared laugh at his fucked up little arms that he used to play piano. Some people claim that two no-name wannabe dinosaurs, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus could beat T. Rex in a fight, but those people are misinformed.
  • Triceratops - That awesome spiky dinosaur that looked a bit like a rhino on steroids. Triceratops was built like a tank and fucked shit up on a regular and consistent basis, even taking on T. Rex and winning. Recently, another loser dinosaur trying to score some points on the paleontology circuit, Torosaurus, tried to move in and steal Triceratops' thunder. Triceratops pwned that bitch so bad that Torosaurus doesn't even fucking exist any more. Here is a Triceratops video.
  • Velociraptor - Stephen Spielberg gave these guys a two hour and a half long blowjob when he made the movie Jurassic Park, making it out that they were super-smart and fast and deadly and could eat Samuel L. Jackson and learn how to open doors and stalk children through deserted restaurant kitchens and shit. IRL, however, they were about the size of a chicken and were covered in soft, fluffy feathers like a bunch of faggots. Scientists argue that this is good evidence that velociraptors were nature's first design for what would later evolve into the Internet tough guy.
    • Also,it is proven that Velociraptors had feathers. Always bring up this fact, specially to the Scalies.
  • Stegosaurus - A cheap, Chinese knock-off version of Triceratops, but no where near as cool. Notable for having two brains, a little one in its head and a larger one in its ass.
  • Parasaurolophus - Parasaurolophuses are sometimes called duckbills because of the stupid shape of their mouths. They are semi-aquatic dinosaurs known for the large horns on the backs of their heads as well as their happy-go-lucky demeanours and cheery cry of "Yep, yep, yep!" Tragically, baby parasaurolophuses are often murdered by their abusive fathers.
  • Pachycepalosaurus - This dinosaur used its ten inch thick skull to charge and hit its enemies weak points for massive damage.
  • Brachiosaurus - One of those gay ones with the long neck, brachiosaurus was one of the tallest dinosaurs ever to walk the earth. They're not terribly interesting, because all they did was eat leaves and fart and never really got into fights or anything cool like that.
  • Dracorex Hogwartsia - This unfortunate dinosaur was discovered by some paleontologists who were also Harry Potter fantards who couldn't keep their obsession with shitty children's literature out of their professional work. Its name means dragon king of Hog warts" in Latin, which is fucking gay.
  • Pterodactyl - Pterodactyl wasn't actually a real dinosaur, just some dinosaur groupie flying lizard, but it gets lumped in with them in the toy aisle nonetheless, where it cries itself to sleep at night.
  • Plesiosaurus, aka the Loch Ness Monster - Like Pterodactyl, Plesiosaurus wasn't a true member of the Dinosaur Kingdom, but rather more like an aquatic Brontosaurus wannabe with flippers. Some argue that God made it 4,000 years ago by "sewing a giant snake]] through the shell & limbs of a huge sea turtle". One species, Elasmosaurus, was almost all neck, making it easier to strangle.
  • Ankylosaurus - This heavily armoured, scaly lizard was no pansy-ass bearded dragon! He was so heavily armoured and well-protected that even his eye-lids were armoured! Not even a T. Rex could bite through its bullet-proof armour! And even though this dinosaur had a walnut-sized brain for its elephant-sized body, not even T. Rex would want to fuck with it especially that huge-ass club at the end of its tail which could snap a T. Rex's bones like match-sticks! Too bad if this dinosaur gets flipped over, its unprotected underbelly gets exposed! Being unable to flip itself back up by itself, Ankylosaurus becomes easy prey for even weak-sauce like Velicoraptors!
  • Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus: One of the lesser known internet relevances dinosaurs have. Two of the most infamous dinosaurs of OUR time. They have been known to cause massive amounts of bawwing and drama. How is this possible? With the powers of Jurassic Park and Dino Crisis 2. Most of this drama can actually turn into fucking flamewars. Most of the drama happens on Youtube. Go onto any video about Jurassic Park or Dino Crisis 2, you'll find someone bitching. Why are all the fags whining? Apparently, all of this is generated from the fact that Spinosaurus/Giganotosaurus can kill T. Rex in a fight. Though bigger than T. Rex, the Spinosaurus was primarily a fish eater. Its teeth and narrow jaws were for spearing fast-moving fish - useless for fighting an animal of T. Rex's size. (Also, the pretty, decorative fin on it's back, probably used like a solar panel, was a major weak spot and made it look like a huge faggot.)

Philosoraptor

I eat therefore I nom

Moar info: Philosoraptor.

Philosoraptor's Theory of Dinosaurs asserts that non-material abstract (but substantial) forms (or ideas) (Creationism), and not the material world of change known to us through Scientology, possess the highest and most fundamental kind of reality. Or in layman's terms - did dinosaurs eat Baby Jesus? As we see, dinosaurs have a lot more Internet relevance than it would first seem, as they are involved with the two largest bases of fucktards on the Internet - creationists and furries. Also occasionally known as "Drama-saurs", any mention of dinosaurs, accurate or inaccurate, will cause a shitstorm of drama by people who spend far too much time on the internet.

Dinosaurs are the official best thing ever. This is mainly because of the fact that they were fucking awesome and way cooler than Cawadoody or any of that other gay shit you're interested in.

Unpopular Science

This was taken from the Conservapedia's first article on dinosaurs.

Mentioning dinosaurs is a sure-fire way to get a rise from any creationist who will claim either:

  • Dinosaurs existed for thousands, not millions of years.
  • The word "dragon" in the Bible actually means "dinosaur", which means dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.
  • Dinosaurs did not exist. Ever. They are hoaxes made up by evil scientists who want to destroy religion.
  • Others think that dinosaur fossils are actually the bones of dragons, re-arranged by Satan and his minions to make Christians doubt the Bible.
  • Dinosaur bones were put by God just for the lulz.

It should be noted however that not all faith-heads automatically reject the idea of dinosaurs, as is the case of Raptor Jesus, who is worshiped by millions.

Evolution

Most dinosaurs became either reptiles or birds. This is what most people think. As it turns out, dinosaurs are even more distantly related from humans than previously thought.

Before they evolved into apes, niggers were originally dinosaurs. Specialized bones - noticeably the enormous lips - were found in Africa. Scientists refer to it as a giant lawnmower. Its diet is unknown, although judging by it's descendants it's an easy guess.

The idea that humans are directly descended from dinosaurs should not be confused with Reptoids, which are lizards which came from outer space and take on the form of humans in order to take over the world. Strangely, the humans they chose to resemble are usually white people, not niggers.

How the Dinosaurs Became Extinct

It was once widely believed that a giant meteorite caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, blocking out the sun, causing the next ice age, and ultimately killing all the cold-blooded animals, but anyone that still believes this is a fucktard. Others believe it was an ancient form of global warming. Some think it was God.

How the dinosaurs became extinct has been debated by scientists for years. Few other people care.

Scalies

This is what scalies fantasize about.
   
 
Reptiles are abhorrent because of their cold body, pale color, cartilaginous skeleton, filthy skin, fierce aspect, calculating eye, offensive smell, harsh voice, squalid habitation, and terrible venom; wherefore their Creator has not exerted his powers to make many of them.
 

 
 

—Carl von Linné, trolling scalies.

Scalies are furries who have fursonas of reptiles instead of cute fuzzy animals. As is typical of the sort of people who would feel that they needed a seperate name for their own unique subsection of retarded anthropomorphic animal pr0n, they are fiercely defensive of their name, as they have scales, not fur. Such insignificant, Aspergian details should not be noted, as they are all still scumbags and no closer to Raptor Jesus than other furries.

Favorite sexual deviancy among scalies include egg-shitting in a permanent orgasmic state akin to shit art and wrapping their forked tongues around throbbing lizard cock. Many lizards and reptiles however do not have cocks but a single hole known as a cloaca - where shit, urine and cum all squirt out, which probably enhances the flavor.

Most scalies are either dinosaurs or dragons. The dinosaur of choice is always a raptor. Not a Stegosaurus with a brain the size of a walnut or a hideous egg-eater. It's always a raptor. This serves only as further blasphemy. The reason behind always choosing a raptor is that scalies also have a pawfur, vore, and guro fetish and enjoy ripping their partners apart with their feet and eating them.

Actually, since birds are said to be the dinosaurs' closest living relatives, the dino-furries should be classified amongst ANOTHER subgroup: the "Avians".

Dinosaur controversies

  • Did Dinosaurs Have Arthritis?
  • What "Warm-Blooded" Really Means?
  • Brontosaurus vs. Apatosaurus
  • Cats vs. Dinosaurs

Galleries

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Dinosaur pornography is remarkably popular on the internet, but what isn't? About missing Pics
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Videos

See Also

External Links

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Featured article October 3, 2005
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