MetaFilter

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Metafilter is a "group blog" and left-wing hate site that was originally started as a "best of the web" compendium, but is now a site where the posts fit a predictable pattern - of cuntiness, precummery, and leftist ideological lockstep. Like Reddit, it continues to be popular with a small subculture despite being primitive, badly dated, awkward to use, and unable to handle embedded images or videos. Easy to see why people prefer to fight with Facebook; at least FB isn't a dorks-only leftover from the 1990s. While an occasional post is interesting, their luserbase's need to post pedantic arguments about trivial shit is the primary reason for the site's continued festering.

AACCCKKK, SO UGLY

"History" lol

It was written in crappy ColdFusion (a retarded 90s invention that let anyone who could make a "home page" pretend to program) in 1999 by Matt Haughey, who used to do some stupid shit at Blogspot. In 2003 Blogspot was sold to Google and Haughey, an ugly and extremely smug nerd with a big head and bad teeth and an extremely sad case of strabismus, suddenly became an "online celebrity". He created the site as a place where other people could create content for him while he rimmed blogosphere A-listers and talked about his two passions: professional wrestling and auto-erotic asphyxiation. He will often PM members of the site to boast about how good he is at watching television. Does he have an insufferable blog full of bitchery about petty trivia? Hells yeah!

Go thru their archives. Metafilter's first two years were a slow sedate buildup, as new users appeared one after another. But the one thing that triggered a rush of activity? The 9/11 thread. It brought an assortment of blind panic and irrationality onto Metafilter; and new users poured in in coming months. The very next day, an attempt to have a "quiet thread" quickly turned into a shouting contest. Of course some of them used multiple accounts to attack each other. Thus Metafilter grew into a dysfunctional little cesspool.

By 2004 MeFi was so swamped with traffic Haughey had to hire co-moderators. Who were also close "friends", meaning people who sucked his nutsack with extra aggression. And they started running it TOW style: deleting any post they didn't like, for any reason, and tossing people out for "disruption", a term whose meaning changed from case to case. It is, in short, run by pathologically dishonest power-trippers and complete assholes.

The Iron Vagoo eats sliced penis (vegan!)

The first moderator was "Jessamyn West", a librarian from hippyland Vermont. Despite being a very obscure nobody outside of her little world, she's justly proud of her smarmy and completely positive Wikipedia biography, because she wrote it herself, with the assistance of some of her Metafucker assrimmers. And she just loves MeFi, because being a sysop, the denizens suck on her red-hot magic porthole with great vehemence and sloppy depth. The daily rimjob seems to put her dour East Coast iron-cunted lesbian personality into another plane of self-abuse. Not to mention her vanity website, full of useless blathering by her "professional colleagues" about the wonderful world of libraries (something which she and the rest of the Web are slowly putting out of business).

Jessamyn hates to shower, so she is constantly surrounded by a wafting cloud of fish smell from her rancid vag. Cortex finally had to post a warning sign at the mod command post. (Holy shitballs, is she neurotic...)

The second mod was Josh "Cortex" Millard, a basement-dwelling hipster from that holy land of assholery, Portland. He enjoys getting pegged and several videos exist online of him indulging in this fetish, despite him removing the copies he unwisely uploaded years ago.

Screenshot of a video Josh uploaded of himself getting pegged. Josh deleted the original, but alas, someone copied it and it exists online now in perpetuity.

Josh is even uglier, hairier and more insecure than Haughey. He makes horrible embarrassing "folkie" music, and posts it online so that MeFucks can rave about what a "musical genius" he is. (Jessamyn still breast feeds Cortex with her pendulous, saggy tits, and it is that sweet, sweet milk that gives Cortex his modly powers.) He's also got the inevitable shitty blog where he talks about comic books, Star Trek, and assorted infantile obsessions. And his "fans" kiss his swollen ring of hemorrhoids there, of course. [1] The buttplug got his own Wikipedia bio, despite being an utter waste of vacuum. Created by longtime Metahitler user Samuel "Jahaza" Howard, and edited for his protection by Jessamyn, of course! And best of all, deleted two years later for "lack of notability", lol GENIUS!

Haughey hired other moderators, but we won't mention them because they are complete nobodies lol. He has since managed to get a job, ironically as a content creator at lame-assed "enterprise collaboration" outfit Slack. It is a web IRC system that charges a lot of money for "secure access".

“	I’m an insufferable asshole	„
—Matt Haughey

“	It may sound silly, but Slack is the first company I’ve worked at where everyone is incredible at every level of the company. I’ve never much butted heads with anyone or ever thought I didn’t want to work with someone on something. During holidays, we’d had a few long breaks and I honestly missed my coworkers like I missed family.	„
—he kisses asses at Slack just as hard as he can

Apparently he was too busy (or something) with the new job to run MeFart anymore so in 2017 he handed it over to Fartex. Thus proving that it is a worthless "web property" thing.

Now that Cortex was Unchallenged Head Asspat, he could post any moronic garbage he wanted and MeFuckers would upvote and lickass him anyway. And if you need proof that Metafilter is in shittown financially, in 2018 Cortex started openly begging for money on Twitter. As of 2021 Tex was cutting back on moderation and his lusers were complaining. But not coughing up more $. As one of them said: "It's been 10 years since active users started steadily declining, and 7 years since the big switch from ad revenue to member donations. As recently as February, we were told there was "not enough of a net loss to be immediately worrying" — but five months later here we are, with core site aspects being chipped away at."

Are you really surprised to learn that by 2018, Slack had a private channel wherein Metafilter chodes are permitted to abuse each other over politics? You can read about it in a comment left in this thread. And you are not invited, chode. But go ahead and sign up anyway. Knowing how the internet makes people into shitweeds; ED suspects that Haughey arranged this channel for his MeFi asspals at no charge whatsoever. And his supervisors at Slack are totally in the dark.

“	Just want to put in a plug for the MeFi politics Slack; we've been using it during periods of, erm, intense political activity? to post hot takes and tweets and screams and other stuff we shouldn't be putting in here. This link should work but if it doesn't, MeMail zachlipton with your email for an invite. posted by lalex at 2:59 PM on September 28 [16 favorites]	„

Mefi mod Eyebrows McGee (Laura Petelle), also known as "the hot one"

And that's only the founding sysops. Metafilter's luserbase was originally very random and included people from all walks of life, and posts were extremely varied. But in 2005, in a pathetic attempt to keep "sockpuppets" who might "cause trouble" off their golden pristine server, they started demanding a $5 payment in return for a new user account. And kicking out people who posted links they didn't think were "of sufficient quality", as defined by their own vague and flaky, PC, leftywefty-Ivy-League-snobbish personal "rules". By 2010 it was obvious that MeFi was hopelessly in the grip of a gang of longterm posters who were so PC they were embarrassing. So the luserbase quickly boiled down to a gang of their friends, acquaintances, camp followers, and people willing to kiss the ample asses of Haughey, Millard and West (which is probably not her real name anyway). These persons are remarkably predictable in their cocksucking and shiteating habits. The site now has a blog where they can pat themselves on the back for their "wonderful compendium of knowledge", without having to acknowledge how petty, unimportant and outdated much of their database is.

“	My FAVORITE part was that half the year we had half an hour of local news, and half the year we had an hour and a half of local news, to fill the varying gap between daytime TV and primetime TV. An hour and a half of small-town local news is AMAZING. There is literally nothing too small for a five-minute segment and no young reporter too amateurish and no school concert too unmelodious. Ducks nesting in a highway median, a week long series about ducklings and love! A park has a new gazebo, let's spend EIGHT MINUTES touring a gazebo, which is functionally turning in a circle while vamping for eight minutes! Oooh, flowers, let's talk to the guy at this random house with pretty flowers! Let's fill ten minutes with an on-site cooking segment tangentially related to some health news! It was brilliant. I was always so sad when it switched back to a standard half-hour and cruised through a standard local news menu of local government, crime, weather, and high school sports. Boo! I want ducklings!	„
—Eyebrows tries for sarcasm/irony and just ends up looking like an idiot--they upvote her anyway

How stupid is Eyebrows? OKAY HERE YOU ARE AT THE LAND OF STUPID!

“	Possibly the most important part about this is that Paul Verhoeven's (awful, amazing) version of Starship Troopers has a very literal visual quote of Leni Riefenstahl right at the beginning (no side-by-side YouTubes are available, BECAUSE NAZIS). Verhoeven's Starship Troopers is an AMAZING, $100 million subversion and mocking of HubbardHeinlein's fascist intent, where he basically set studio money on fire because studios loved HubbardHeinlein's fascism and couldn't imagine a mainstream, $100 million sci-fi flick that was like "ha ha, all of your ideas are terrible and racist." posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:21 PM on May 30 [18 favorites] L. Ron Hubbard didn't write Starship Troopers. posted by Harvey Kilobit at 8:23 PM on May 30 [12 favorites] Ugh, my bad, but honestly, same. posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:30 PM on May 30 [5 favorites]	„

Again, how stupid and callow is she?

“	Mod note: Deleted a complete transcript with too many time stamp numbers that took up several screens -- tough for people on mobile. posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 6:05 PM on July 26	„
—[2]

And how stupid is cortex, the current "pwner"?

“	Mod note: Thread was briefly deleted because I misread a timestamp. Sorry about that, carry on! posted by cortex (staff) at 4:20 PM on July 30 [4 favorites]	„
—that's stupid alright

Some of their favorite neuroses and trigger words are described below.

ME MAKE NOISE NOW, ME MAKE POOPY NOW

time for joy and laughter

Posts about media

Such posts are made by someone who likes a band, TV show or movie. Everyone on the site who dislikes the subject will then go on and on (and on and on) about how much it sucks. [3][4]

Golden shower example: the user called "hippybear", who is as gay as a rainbow horsecock and cannot shut up about 1980s dance music. [5][6]

Their Talk section got a "Posts About Metafilter" sub-section in 2006, which they really loved because it helps to validate their pathetic excuse for a "community". Unfortunate, isn't it, that actual mentions of MeFi elsewhere online are actually kind of scarce?

“	I am still frankly grumpy about the switch away from broadsheet newspaper (with its backward-6 hierarchy and editorial ranking of stories but where I retain the power to instantly decide how much time and attention each story gets, unlike radio or video, plus people talking is so much slower than me reading) to an RSS reader because while I retain control over the length of my attention to each story, I have to spend so fucking much time scanning headlines to decide what to read because a reverse timeline is not an editorial hierarchy, it's just a stupid stream. There is no fuckin' way I'm getting my news from video. I can barely stand to get my news from the radio and then only when I'm in the car and can't be reading. I'm not going to sit with my eyes AND ears captive to someone else's idea of how long a story should take. Also by far the most irritating internet news video trend (after autoplay) is those 90-second to 3-minute videos that PAN ACROSS STILL PICTURES with some bouncy music in the background while popping phrases up on the screen to explain some damn thing that could have been done with five pictures and a paragraph of text and FUCK YOU NEWS WORD VIDEO GUY. posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:02 PM on July 11 [149 favorites]	„
—--of course they upvoted it, she's a mod and her ass must be kissed

Political Posts

Metafilter contains many political posts, largely from Rolling Stone and Vanity Fair, and people then express a full range of political opinions about the articles that range from Extreme Pussy Liberal to Shrieking Communist. But sad self-defeating dorkery always overrides political issues.

Say anything about Trump--anything--and stand well back as the fountain of SJW whingery explodes. [7][8][9][10][11][12] Not much about actually changing the political landscape, very little about organizing or participating. Just mountains of petty complaints about The Awful Donald and about how Hillary "kinda wasn't all that bad" and how Bernie Sanders is a fucking god hero. Who failed badly yo. (Compare this to the 2008 thread when Obama was elected. USA! USA! USA! Interesting that their patriotism is "conditional".)

“	I'm beginning to suspect that maybe lulz are overrated. posted by Atom Eyes at 10:25 AM on February 17 [47 favorites]	„
—[13]

By 2018 posts were being deleted simply because none of them wanted to talk about the POTUS. [14]

OMGWTFBBQ THERE'S A SLAPFIGHT BETWEEN BERNIE FANS AND HILLARY FANS, SILENCE THEM!!

“	[A few comments removed. 2016 US primary wounds and a couple of mentions in the article notwithstanding, this piece is not particularly about Bernie Sanders and good golly am I not interested in presiding over another throwdown about Sanders and Clinton supporters and their respective crosswise beefs with one another, so please engage with literally anything else in the linked article instead.] posted by cortex (staff) at 1:03 PM on June 1	„
—--Ha ha ha ha ha SO MUCH FOR "WE DON'T CENSOR"

And for vague political reasons, despite being big cartoon fans, they intensely despise Dilbert creator Scott Adams. [15][16] And of course, the mods eventually started deleting anything to do with Adams, partly because he'd been sockpuppeting on their precious site. [17] (archive)[18] Guess he's too "libertarian" for them. Takes a clitoris to know one.

They also hate Bill Maher. So much do they hate Bill. How much? Even when Bill does a well-constructed monologue about the Trump connections to the Russian government, some of them bend over backwards to ignore the actual subject and Bill-Blubber about how much they hate Bill:

“	As they say on the internet "100 times this". I thought of posting this video last night at 1:01AM... but due to the Maher hate here, refrained.	„

“	Yeah, sorry, Maher couldn't make it four minutes without pandering shitty homophobic jokes. In this case the enemy of my enemy is not my friend. posted by to sir with millipedes at 12:19 PM on September 30 [6 favorites]	„

this is what MeCunts tend to look like, for realz

Any comedian who specializes in pushing the boundaries of taste is E-V-I-L and must be whined about and put down and sniped at whenever mentioned. That is all. Consider their multiyear hatefest of Sarah Silverman, the one comedian who ought to push all their love-buttons (Jewish, female, liberal, brassy, etc. etc):

“	Initially she amused me, but I've long since stopped finding her really funny. She is riding the wave of the current version of humor--popularized by shows like South Park and Family Guy--where telling a joke is as simple as saying something horrendously politically incorrect and waiting for people to laugh. Partly because of your ballsiness, partly out of discomfort. Except it's not really ballsy or interesting anymore because everyone and their fucking mother is doing it. It's a cheap way to get a laugh. There's very little politicaly or social commentary left, there's just "Look, I just implied lynching was funny and referred to women as dumb bitches, and I'm getting away with it! Hahaha! Look at the absolutely awful things I can think of! Hahaha!" It's satire after eliminating the subtlety and cleverness and then throwing it into the middle of a keg party at a frat house. posted by schroedinger at 2:56 PM on November 17, 2007 [41 favorites]	„
—--https://www.metafilter.com/66639/the-sarah-silverman-post

“	she’s limited herself by appearing determined to prove she can be as dirty and distasteful as the boys Bizarre, not least because I'm not aware of any boys as dirty and distasteful as Sarah Silverman. posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:45 AM on November 27, 2013 [19 favorites]	„
—https://www.metafilter.com/134245/Its-called-intimate-fuck-face

“	It's weird, all you have to do is mention her and they all come out of the woodwork with their fun-sapping yuckishness. There are things that actually do suck and that you should always comment on the suckiness of should someone mention them even in passing, such as Ron Paul and Second Life. Sarah Silverman is most definately not one of them. posted by Artw at 1:31 PM on February 6, 2008 [2 favorites]	„
—http://www.metafilter.com/68853/Im-fg-Matt-Damon

Conan? Of course they have to take petty shitshots at Conan. Fuck yes. Anyone more successful than pathetically-obscure Minneapolis playwright (and obsessed-with-his-own-Jewishness loser) Max Sparber has to be shat upon..........by Max Sparber:

“	I suppose there is a certain honestly to spending the first season making fun of how bad you are. But, honestly, when you're a Harvard legacy whose father was professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, who interned for Congressman Robert Drinan when you were a sophomore in high school, the same year you won the National Council of Teachers of English writing contest, when you were the school Valedictorian, when you started writing for Saturday Night Live at 25, when you were a lead writer on the Simpsons and were likely to have been the next showrunner -- well, the whole shtick of "I'm not very good at my job," the constantly interrupting guests, the almost total inability to see an interview through from beginning to end, the frequent and seemingly genuine meanness toward some of them, the flustered behavior and sultry growling around any vaguely attractive woman who comes on the show, it all starts seemingly like a celebration of white male mediocrity. He should be the best in the business. He came with the skills. Instead, he had a bad first year and made it his shtick and then permanently refused to excel, and I guess even people who should be great will settle for mediocrity when they can get away with it. posted by maxsparber at 2:27 PM on June 5 [7 favorites]	„
—--BECAUSE MAX SPARBER MAKES METAFILTER GREAT

No matter the subject: Sparber has to make it about himself.

“	I think the author means former University of Minnesota student Robert Vaughn. (Signed — U of M alum) posted by maxsparber at 11:04 AM on December 11 [5 favorites]	„
—https://www.metafilter.com/178165/Subverting-Number-1-with-Number-2

STUPID CORPORATE SHIT IS CLASS WARFARE AND UPVOTE THE AUTO-LEFTIST KNEEJERK

“	The executives deciding a company isn’t making money fast enough and stripping the copper out of it while firing carrer employees and setting the entire enterprise out to fail is class war. posted by The Whelk at 12:57 PM on February 15 [117 favorites]	„
—--That should be "career", you dolt

Post a video of an advanced robotic warehouse, and they start shrieking about how evil Amazon is and how abused their employees are and start upvoting each other for it. Even though the original post had nothing to do with Amazon. (Then they went to amazon.com and ordered moar junk food and huge black dildos perhaps.) Remember that bunky: NEVER EVER MENTION THE A-WORD or pathological moaning will ensue.

“	Yeah, for all the disgusting spectacle of cities prostituting themselves for Amazon's "favor" of building their new HQ there, this is what's in store for them. Systems like these will become cheaper to build and maintain than a human workforce, and then the humans are out on the street. Meanwhile all the tax breaks and other goodies offered to Amazon means even less money for programs to support the jobless. posted by Sangermaine at 12:55 PM on May 18 [11 favorites]	„

Bring up a study of the political divisions in America today, and they cheerfully screech at each other about what "political correctness" means, and how awful "cis" people are. And LobsterMitten, resident freak, makes it all go away. "We don't censor" lol.

“	[A few comments deleted. Aiming to not have this thread devolve into accusations/insinuations/complaints about other Mefites, or about what things are always like on this site, etc. Just engage with the material and don't make it about your fellow Mefites.] posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:08 PM on October 10 [3 favorites]	„

This thread is a classic giggle-riot. It started with a stunning interview with a pathetic dual career suburban yuppie couple living as high on the hog as they can and running up huge debts over and over (despite earning more than $160k/year). The MeFlibbers doubled and tripled down on the inherent stupid with their own brand of its-all-the-banks-fault and ad-hominem sniping and "this is click bait hate read whatever IDONTLIKEIT" mixed in with some actual reasonable comments. If there's a way to get personal finances under control, asking a bunch of Metafilter losers for "advice" is not gonna reveal it. This is how you manufacture a giant Meta-shitthread. One of the "more reasonable" statements:

“	Are there systemic issues that cripple people financially? Absolutely. Are there predatory financial institutions that should be reeled in? Absolutely. Are these people in this situation because of their own behaviors and choices? Absolutely. posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 12:32 PM on November 21 [108 favorites]	„

Is rapidly followed by a cascade of ass-pain:

“	The bank is responsible for choosing to lend to these folks. posted by billjings at 12:42 PM on November 21 [1 favorite]	„

“	if you view most banking as a privileged few (the shareholders etc) leveraging their privilege via debt toward controlling people's behavior, then you start to see personal debt (and lots of it) as not just beneficial to most banks, but pretty much their end game. posted by philip-random at 1:17 PM on November 21 [15 favorites]	„

“	In addition to the ethics of what these people are doing and what banks are doing to them, this is very definitely a click-bait hate read. If these people lived in Toronto, this would have fit right into Toronto Life's other hate-reads. On one hand it's useful sharing of troubles that helps people come to grips with their own financial problems they may be in denial about, but it's also bad journalism that's just out to get outrage clicks. posted by GuyZero at 12:51 PM on November 21 [11 favorites]	„

This one is amazeballs and was heavily upvoted for its mountain of smug:

“	Like, public schools are shitty places right now that just barely try to educate kids. Even the best of the non-specialized ones. My kid is very bright. Three years of public school middle school at one of the best schools in the fucking county had gotten her to a horrible place. She was in the advanced classes! She was getting As! And it still was not good enough. On brightness alone, she was offered a chance at a competitive program for high school, and she could not do the work for the application because she'd never been taught how to do it. I had no idea she was behind, because she was on the top of the public school curve. And that's not to get into the constant bullying that teachers insisted they were powerless to stop. Now she is in private school. We get financial aid. I have had to go begging to them to increase it twice. But she blossomed there. They have private counseling on what career paths people want to take. They have individualized attention from the teachers. They have a wealth of after school opportunities that emphasize hard work. They have financial planning classes. They focus on values and have feminist retreats so that the high school girls focus on supporting each other instead of tearing each other down. Turns out you can in fact virtually stop bullying when you have the resources to take it seriously. I would literally do almost anything to keep her there, because the gulf between the two is so fucking vast. I haven't gone into debt yet over it, but I won't pretend that I wouldn't, because I can clearly see the difference between the two. And like, yeah, it's easy to scoff and be like "well they clearly couldn't afford it", but like - where are the alternative good options? posted by corb at 12:52 PM on November 21 [92 favorites]	„
—boohoo

They fell for a gag "99% OFF!!" sale run by Cards Against Humanity on a Black Friday, but there just HAD to be at least one snit spluttering about "hurtful" things:

“	How offensive a game of Cards Against Humanity depends on the group playing it. It's a game that lets you make jokes that could legitimately be hurtful to other people sitting at the table: rape jokes, Holocaust jokes, racist jokes. Some of that's deliberately designed (the "poorly-timed Holocaust jokes" or "surprise sex" cards), and some of that's the combinations that the players come up with themselves. Some people just get rid of or never play these cards. Some people try to play them subversively - which can still be hurtful if it's not the right group for it. Some people think it's subversive to just play the most offensive thing possible. I like it as a once-in-a-while party game. It can be fun in a group that rewards clever combinations rather than the most awful ones. But it can also be tedious or hurtful in the wrong group. posted by Kutsuwamushi at 1:13 PM on November 23 [2 favorites]	„
—is that petty enough for you?

The Typical Mefite

Michelle Moon, a/k/a "Miko" on Metafilter, one of the most tragically humorless and sanctimonious MeFites. N.B.: Fat Pig is not recommended language.

Meet Miko, a/k/a Michelle Moon. She is a good representation of the typical MeFite. Humorless, blue-state-dwelling, eager to impose her own worldview on everyone else because she considers her U.S. cosmopolitan liberal worldview the crowning achievement of the long development of the human species. Her worldview is summed up by the New York Times, the New Yorker, and Hillary Clinton. Became incredibly butthurt when Trump was elected, when MeFites were criticizing the New York Times, and when one unenlightened MeFite claimed Betty Page as an empowering role model for women. David Brooks' The Social Animal nicely describes the milieu in which she sees herself. She thinks her privileged, narrow, ideologically warped and historically aberrant existence should be imposed on everyone else. Unthinkingly accepts the trendy fads that are being force-fed on the American people such as transgender ideology and open borders groupthink. Feels in her bones that Trumpism is evil and does not understand ordinary, decent, hard-working Americans at all. Has always worked for nonprofits. Supports minorities only in the abstract; would never welcome a poor minority into her orbit since they would not share her carefully cultivated liberal enlightened viewpoint. Miko represents everything that is evil about the world of Hillary Clinton liberals, eager to denounce and shame white people despite demanding white people's tax money for the lavish government programs she wants to fund. Hates sex. Gets very offended (and she is frequently offended).

Example? Consider her "bacon tirade". Which other MeFarts took issue with. No one pointed out the obvious, that here is a very obese woman, lecturing her fellow nerds about "proper nutrition".

Michelle Moon's (a/k/a Miko's) LinkedIn page where she is claiming to have an "M.A. in Museum Studies from Harvard University," when in fact it is a Master of Liberal Arts in Extension Studies. Harvard Extension School tells its graduates they have to identify their degree as a "Master of Liberal Arts in Extension Studies from the Harvard Extension School." A Master of Arts from Harvard is prestigious and selective, the Master of Liberal Arts is open-admission. She is a liar.

Miko is a shit-heel, claiming a graduate degree that she doesn't have. Instead, Miko has attempted to mislead people into believing her degree is from the (prestigious and selective) Harvard Graduate School, by putting on her resume that she has an M.A. The Harvard Extension School doesn't offer M.A. degrees.

What a piece of work. Miko is a classic childless urbanite liberal who moralizes and lectures MeFites endlessly in her own sanctimonious way, who wants to impose her views on everyone else, but can't even be trusted to tell the truth on her own fucking resume.

Sexism

Oh shit. There's so much toxic MF squealing about sexists and anti-sexists and transgenderism and dick-holding. It can't all be listed. People post comments, other people scream "BIGOTBIGOTBIGOT", Haughey and friends show up to deliberately stir the pot. As usual there's very little talk of taking action, because that would be work, and they would have to leave their basements and take chances. Metafilter has degraded into a gang of twitchy pseudo-leftist cowards moaning about the horrible, horrible world. These threads on the main site have a strange tendency to get shorter, the more butthurt people get, and then the fallout can be found on the MetaTalk subsection. If you want to see screaming, multithousand post threads on MetaTalk, this is an easy way to generate them.

• Don't bring up Rebecca Watson unless you're looking for real lulz. The whinery spreads to MetaTalk too.
• Same for Chelsea Manning. [19]
• Don't bring up Gamergate or anything related. Anita Sarkeesian, Zoe Quinn and Brianna Wu are ongoing really sore cocks. [20][21][22]
• Anything to do with "men's rights" or "women's rights" or "misogyny" or "misandry" inevitably leads to gigantic threads full of butthurt snivelling, esp. on MetaTalk. [23][24][25][26] It's not a new phenomenon either, we found a 2008 thread about misandry that was Lulz Central.
• Don't even mention peeing standing up. [27][28]

“	It's not a double-standard because there are no men who are being murdered by women because they're men, while there are thousands of women murdered every week by men for being women. There is absolutely no comparison and anyone who doesn't see this is deluded.	„
—--yes it happens, but "thousands every week"? Naaah....

• Then there was this hambeast who blogged about her tacky "personal style", which was enough to set off a new round of wimmens-whinging-about-being-ugly and "male gaze"ism .

“	The thing about this article is that she's saying you have to try on a lot of stuff to find what looks good on you personally. But at the end of the day this stuff looks good on her. Because she's pretty. Pretty clothes make pretty person look more pretty. In the grand scheme of things you do have to have a certain look to pull this off, and the message is "I'm so pretty I can wear whatever I want and make it look good" Some of us aren't so lucky. If you don't have the right kind of face it makes you (me) look deranged and confused, not cute. This "personal style" that she's talking about being so revolutionary is in every store right now and if it doesn't work for you (me) then you're (I'm) SOL. It's very frustrating.	„

And remember what happened when Burning Man founder (and it must be admitted, complete dick) Larry Harvey died. They started posting the usual idiot "."s because BURNING MAN IZ MAGIC and then one of their resident anonymous greasy hipster cuntboys (and coder) decided it was a perfect time to wipe his asscrack all over the dead man's face:

“	Larry was racist in public, nasty and entitled in private, and sexist in both. It's a distillation of everything stupid and thoughtless in burner culture that he's getting this sort of hagiographic send-off, and that for a guy whose initial inspiration for burning an effigy was his anger towards an ex-girlfriend and her new partner. posted by invitapriore at 1:09 AM on April 29 [18 favorites]	„
—--[29]

OMG PATRIARCHY!!! PUSSY WHINE WHINE!!!

“	I remember being in high school and the people wearing shirts with stylized logos of this band, and bands like it, and just not getting it, not understanding why people liked this music and these bands. But then, people called me Professor and kicked me, so I clearly wasn't in the target audience. The raw thumping is okay, kind of nice, except for everything that goes with it (angry patriarchy) so it's kind of ruined forever for me. I wear earplugs in retail stores so I don't have to hear most of this shit. Or the modern day versions of it, which is generally the same just with different instrumentation. Can we kill the patriarchy yet? posted by seanmpuckett at 7:33 AM on September 5 [1 favorite]	„
—--This patriarchy bullshit was in a thread about Van Halen

Go ahead, talk about Wil Wheaton. So we might urinate upon his nerdy little head. And bring up Chris Hardwick, over and over. (And piss and moan about Wheaton being on Mastodon, Metafilter's "Official Dorky-approved" social website.)

“	HA HA HA oh man is he gonna seriously fucking pretend that he didn't leave twitter specifically because he didn't want to have to admit that his BFF is a disgusting fucking rapist? What a piece of shit. posted by poffin boffin at 8:54 AM on August 30 [37 favorites] it feels good to make snide remarks about him here you bet it feels good to make snide remarks about a guy who supports chris rapist hardwick posted by poffin boffin at 8:55 AM on August 30 [28 favorites]	„
—assholes

This one was clearly intended to trigger angry women and it worked:

	“	I have recently started therapy. And axe throwing. My husband found me crying in the bathroom and asked how he could help. Vote. Donate. Teach our son to dismantle the white cis hetero patriarchy. “I would like to throw axes,” I said. We got a babysitter.	„
	—O RLY?

“	really though this addresses a thing which has been on my mind since forever and that thing is: triggering. when sneering shithead MRAs bray their witless juvenile laughter about "triggering sjws" they always overlook the "fight" aspect of the fight or flight reaction. they never seem to realize that they might end up getting more than they've bargained for. posted by poffin boffin at 11:46 AM on November 9 [13 favorites]	„
—how brave and aggressive of you! to whine on the internet about MRAs!

Racism

The average MetaTwatter is as Caucasian as they come (and they don't come often). All you need to know about their twisted and insecure handling of racism or things that might possibly be racist can be embodied in this amazingly stupid thread. It's about Rhoda Young; a crazy black woman from Virginia who thinks she's an "amateur You Tube journalist" but just looks like a fool.

“	> Thank god the folks of Metafilter were here to inform me that it's racist! I can absolutely confirm that stuff like this gets passed around the Internet by racist assholes who think it's funny because they believe that Black people are ridiculous and unintelligent and in their eyes this video confirms that. The fact that this video went up at the Root and was well-received doesn't change that at all. It's entirely possible for the readers of the Root and my racist uncle to both like this video for totally different reasons. Metafilter is not the Root, the readership of Metafilter skews much whiter than the Root, and I think there's both room and necessity for us to have a conversation over whether content like this is appropriate for this particular site. posted by a mirror and an encyclopedia at 7:28 AM on December 23 [29 favorites]	„
—well, you got the "skews whiter" part right

The Cleveland Indians announced they were planning to retire their "Chief Wahoo" mascot, and screeching autism ensued:

“	Though on second look, I note with some cynicism that by announcing they will get rid of the logo in 2019, they are both claiming the moral high ground and insuring one last year to sell as much racist Chief Wahoo bullshit as they can. "Get it while you can!" Etc. posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:52 AM on January 29 [21 favorites]	„
—--not happy unless they're shitting on someone, even a cartoon sport mascot

Found an article about Auto-Tune. A thing that "just happens to be" popular with hip-hop producers. So. One of those aging honky Tumblr shitweeds feels compelled to scream "RACISM":

“	"Whatever reason" there carries a whole lot of water for racism and the randomness of record label marketing teams.	„
—Uh, wut?

Loads of Meta-Fungs are big fans of Harry Potter, but they welcome any opportunity to call J. K. Rowling a "racist". Prominently including a luser under the handle of "Hermione Granger". Upvote the rage!

“	I am so repulsed by everything that's happened since Fantastic Breasts came out I can't even comfortably use this username anymore posted by Hermione Granger at 2:15 PM on September 27 [21 favorites] Fantastic Beasts not breasts jfc posted by Hermione Granger at 2:21 PM on September 27 [110 favorites]	„
—https://www.metafilter.com/176771/This-casting-is-anathema

This shit was in a thread about burritos.

“	"If the boom grows, the burrito may soon join such traditional American favorites as chow mein, chicken soup, pizza and the frankfurter.” Racists and anti-Semitic! If he had thrown in a backhanded comment about women, he coulda had a trifecta.	„
—https://www.metafilter.com/177448/The-Chronicle-apologizes-for-the-error

Lyrics of David Allan Coe's song Nigger Fucker

Max Sparber promoting the work of "racist" country music artist David Allan Coe

Spend enough time on Metafilter and you will notice how the ignorance of the average MeFite results in hilarious missteps in which they accidentally promote the work of epically racist assholes because they are too fucking clueless to know what they're talking about in their quest for Twitter asspats. Take for example, the histrionic poser Max Sparber, a fifty-something basement dwelling MeFite who spends literally all of his free time on Twitter. He has an ongoing thing where he posts about country songs. (He and his girlfriend fancy themselves country songwriters.) Recently Max Sparber promoted the work of David Allan Coe, apparently not realizing that Coe has written and performed and recorded some of the most racist and sexist songs in the history of country music, which is actually an accomplishment. How does someone who fancies himself a country musician not know this? (And you got it: after Sparber saw this article, he changed his Twitter handle. Because he won't admit he's a fool.)

Furthermore, go on, and bring up North Sentinel Island and its isolated inhabitants, hostile to outsiders. So a few of the resident judgmental-and-probably-white-skinned fucks can snivel about "unpacking the colonialist framing" and other petty White-Guilt nonsense. They are in the minority here but it's Metafilter and they make a mighty big stink. The Sentinelese are hopefully glad they don't have internet. (Yet)

“	I mean the minute you see the phrase "uncontacted tribe" in a headline you can stop reading because you know it's going to be bullshit colonialist framing. posted by lollusc at 11:58 PM on November 22 [24 favorites]	„

Large American corporations always have some racist employees. It is an unavoidable fact of life in the Glorious Republic of Americuntistan. Especially workplaces with a lot of blue-collar jobs. Most corporations do an adequate job of policing their abusive employees; screw-ups happen. And Silicon-Valley-style startups can be even more dysfunctional than established firms. But when a post about bigots at Tesla Motors went up, the very first comment was

“	This is my surprised face: 😒. Fuck Elon. sighs* posted by Fizz at 11:17 AM on November 30 [10 favorites]	„

Deleting threads

New threads are posted directly to the front page....unless one of their mods or a friend complains that it might be sexist somehow. The thread remains online but can't be found with any search engine. For instance: two guys write a hoax article and get it published in an academic journal, it ends up on MF and BLAMMO

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: flamebaity "gender studies suck, amirite" prank designed to needle feminists and (they hope) cause a big internet kerfuffle? eh, let's not. -- taz	„

And let's talk about the Evergreen College shutdown of 2017...or rather let's not, because MeFi won't tolerate any mention of it.

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: On reflection, let's wait a bit on this for more solid information and analysis so that we're not just "Everyone Take Sides; Now, Ready, Set, Fight!" in the heat of the moment, and can hopefully have a more interesting and thoughtful discussion -- taz	„

That's "MeFi Code" for "STFU AND GO AWAY BECAUSE WE THINK YOU'RE A FASCISTCISWHITEMALEGAZER AND WE TOTALLY LIED ABOUT FREE SPEECH". And of course, DIAF if you mention Emma Sulkowicz:

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: This is fairly thin to support a post, and will probably just lead to re-arguing the original situation. -- Eyebrows McGee	„

Queer? You bet they are. And insecure about anything to do with it. Thus: A Stanford researcher who was kinda famous already created an algorithm that (he claimed) could determine if a person was gay or straight simply from facial photos of that person. He published a paper that was mentioned in the Guardian. And on Readwriteweb. And on Gay News Europe. But hey, someone posted it to MeFuck and the "homophobe homophobe" shrieking started instantly, then it was deleted for the usual bogus reason. Someone might be offended!!

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: There's the core of a discussible idea here, but the sort of glib, brief mainstream news article just sets up too many unwarranted assumptions for people to get any traction -- restless_nomad	„

“	Is a 81% hit rate even good? I guess it depends on the distribution of their test data. Like, I don't know what percentage of men are gay, but I have heard the number 10% thrown around. Always guessing "straight" on a random sample should then give you a 90% correct rate. posted by RustyBrooks at 8:01 PM on September 7 [2 favorites]	„
—--someone gets an F in statistics

Humorless? Sometimes they're so humorless, even relatively inoffensive joke videos make them offended. And the thread must be killed before it even begins because someone complained. In this case the opportunity to shit on Bill Murray's head (using his ugly 2008 divorce), and thereafter censor any further mention of his existence on Metafilter, was irresistible:

“	Just a friendly reminder, given the climate we're in right now, that Bill Murray's last wife divorced him in part because he hit her in the face and threatened to kill her. posted by Krazor at 11:18 AM on December 6, 2017 [3 favorites]	„

And sometimes they are deleted because a mod was "offended". All it takes on MetaFUCK to kill a discussion is one loud whine.

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: This is not good framing -- restless_nomad	„
—Okay shitass, what does "good framing" mean?

“	I object to the way this post is written. It should be clarified that we're talking about the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point, a medium-sized regional campus, and not the entire University of Wisconsin system or the institution's flagship university in Madison (which is what I think most people mean when they say "University of Wisconsin"). I think it's important to be clear about which institution we're talking about and note that the politics and finances of one campus, including a regional campus, can be very different than those at other campuses, the flagship campus, and the system as a whole. But a discussion of whether this is a good idea at this particular institution and whether it's being done in accordance with accepted practices is entirely in order. posted by ElKevbo at 5:02 PM on March 21 [5 favorites]	„
—Of course it was killed for "bad framing" and of course it was not reposted--killed threads are rarely reposted and no one will say why

Cortex routinely goes complete-asshole and makes the most innocuous posts vanish for no apparent sane reason. [30][31][32] Even a post about transgender children (something MeFarts love to argue and shriek about) sets him off, in this case because they don't like writer Jesse Singal. And no, they can't spell Singal's name properly. [33]

Post censorship is far more commonplace than any MF regular or mod will ever, ever admit. They are shitmouthed prevaricators thru and thru.

“	[Folks, please at least skim the article and engage with it rather than hot-taking the headline. Thanks.] posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 9:19 AM on September 16 [4 favorites] If I was flippant in my now-deleted comment, it was because the overwhelming likelihood is that Mars will never be colonized. The article has some interesting info and thought problems--I didn't know about the Antarctic gun--but the overall scenario is on the order of "imagine that Atlantis is real and populated by merpeople." posted by Halloween Jack at 9:34 AM on September 16 [11 favorites]	„
—What "deleted comment"?

The perfect example of "omg sexist maybe omgomg" was this thread, about a cute video of police dogs in a parade. Deleted because

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: I don't think that this is going to do what is intended and I don't really want to moderate what it's gonna end up as. -- restless_nomad	„

When Google+ was killed off, one of the ex-team members wrote a long blog post about his experience, which was a political shitshow (as usual with any discussion of Google product development). It was posted, it was seen by many people, many commented on it (loads of them didn't like the guy), and then KAPOW

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry for the delayed deleted - we just had a thread about Google+, and maybe these tweets would get a reception there that's about something other than this guy personally? -- LobsterMitten	„
—bitch

The dumbasses even try to lecture spammers AFTER deleting the threads they start and banning them (so they can't even see the lecturing). Genius!

When Krakatau blew its top just before Xmas 2018 (and the resulting tsunami killed hundreds of people) some dweeboid posted a video from October. The others started bitching and posting "."s and then the whole thing was Krakatau-ed. And there was no repost. As usual, the subject became "insta-toxic".

It's okay to talk about "sickening spew" as long as it's left-wing spew. And never ever mention Louis CK.

In 2013 they thought Edward Snowden was a great hero. In 2021 they were apparently snarling contempt at him.

“	Polite society just isn't going to politely ignore your racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/whatever anymore.	„

Don't post old articles even if the information is difficult to find. Because some anusfisted snitweed will complain and then Bitch Goddess Jessamyn will kill it off. Despite "resigning" years ago, she's still got modz powerz.

And NEVEREVER bring up a trans subject that already pissed the resident nons off. The most essential unspeakable word in MetaLand is "censorship" and another unspeakable is "Isabel Fall".

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, see the previous go at this in this deleted post; no knock to Van Der Werff's writing about the situation, but the original thread about Fall's story was a really deep wound for a ton of folks on MetaFilter and that's not a wound we want to reopen just for the sake of some discussion. -- cortex	„

Yet another thing you cannot mention: Glenn Greenwald. "Greatest Journalist Of All Time", or nazi monster? Ha ha ha haaaa.

“	This post was deleted for the following reason: There isn't really anything in this article that we haven't discussed at length, and it uses weasel words to hide Greenwald's legitimate problems; "pro bono work as a civil liberties defender" is doing a lot of work to smooth over the fact that he defended a violent white supremacist, called the minority victims "disgusting," and almost got disbarred for his courtroom misconduct. -- Eyebrows McGee	„
—[34]

Metafilter Feminism 101

Couldn't be easier to summarize:

Jennifer "Phunniemee" Lee, a Mefite feminist whose mouth and vagina are both swirling cauldrons of VD, does her part to represent female empowerment by sucking dicks for quick cash in Chicago restrooms. She takes a commemorative photo every time she slobs someone's knob. She also posts stupid things about penises in order to trigger the other lusers. Her Instagram is full of pics of her yapping little dogs.

• All men are rapists.
• All accusations are true.
• Believe the accuser.
• No women lie. (lolol)
• No women rape.
• Due process is sexist.
• No evidence is needed to substantiate an allegation.
• Killallmen. (ultralol)
• Yesallmen.
• LOL fedoras.

Being offended

Divabat, one of the easiest to offend SJWs. She likes to talk about how the happiest days of her life were when she escaped the Sri Lankan slum to come to San Francisco. Unfortunately, she was forced to go home because her pits smelled too bad even for the hygienically challenged Bay area genderqueer community.

Metafilter dedicates a lot of time to finding new ways for liberals to be offended. Metafilter has become a site where someone makes a post, say, on black and white photography and then someone will object as 'black and white' is discriminatory toward people who do not fit into a binary distinction between black and white. A successful thread will then be taken to Metatalk where comments that are deemed offensive can be highlighted and people can be offended that they too were not offended or that they were offended by the person who took offense. Someone has actually posted 'I feel unsafe in this thread' regarding discussion of some topic.

Post something genuinely disturbing, or something about sex (a subject most of them know nothing about), and they will whine like snot-covered little babies.

“	Okay, this is the best I could do while at work - Lawrence said the seas have the hottest blood, Even though the waves are a chilly flood - He had whales in mind, but there ain’t no doubt – Blood’s not what he should have talked about! They got one-ton testes and gallons of sperm, That’s the freakiest thing about whales I’ve learned Makes sense when you think of the size of their young - But oh my Lord, them whales are hung! posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:30 PM on September 18, 2014 [28 favorites]	„
—Her idea of "poetry" lol

When not sniveling on Metafilter the membership's favorite pastimes include bulimia and self-harm, but any mention of these things will be instantly deleted unless the same sentence blames them on low-melanin penises.

Any statement about how being gay, obese, homicidal, suicidal, happy, sad is good or otherwise will sometimes trigger a cascade of butthurt offense. It is, however, perfectly acceptable to state how sodomizing any Republican to death would be a good idea. Examples: [35][36] Plus that time Haughey had the bright idea to photoshop dildos onto photos of GOP politicians and everyone commended him for his 'cleverness'. [37] Don't forget Haughey bragging that he lost weight by thinking about Donald Trump!

And don't ya even think of posting YT videos parodying popular cartoons and videogames, or MeFi's Own will tantrum at ya. Plus, if there's a problem, you'll get a lot of bitchy sniping and "who's the bigger racist here" wankery.

Not enough that the mods delete things and pretend they never happened. When an issue like foul language comes up, they lie to their luserbase openly. And the luserbase, being lusers, upvote it and fail to notice the inherent bullshittiness:

“	[expletive disallowed on metafilter] What the fuck is this shit? There are certain words that aren't necessarily offensive in Dysk's native UK that are considerably more offensive in the US. As Metafilter is US-based (and a global website), the standards are generally to try to avoid using words that'd upset any of our friends here. posted by explosion at 10:24 AM on January 24 [3 favorites] [Just for clarity: No, there was not a word redacted from Dysk's comment. Both Dysk's comment and (I assume) that comment with 'shit' and 'fuck' were jokes. Nothing was deleted, in general cussing is perfectly fine on Mefi with a very very few exceptions and if there were a problem we would delete the whole comment; we don't unilaterally edit or redact.] posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:26 AM on January 24 [7 favorites]	„
—--oh yes they DO edit or redact, see above and below

For years they loved and raved about the intentionally-stupid Liartown blog. Until this 2014 thread. When a few of their resident scummy-justice-bitches decided to attack Tejaratchi, and others joined in with the pettiness and self-absorbed harrumphing.

“	It's hard for me to enjoy Tejaratchi's stuff. He's been criticised in the past, and his responses are always incredibly disproportionate. I mean, his whole social justice kittens thing is the very worst kind of punching down. Not only is he completely deaf to any kind of outside input that isn't 100% praise, but he responds with such rage and vitriol that it's tough to find any kind of delightful whimsy in the rest of his work. At least, for me, anyway. YMMV. posted by aedison at 11:58 AM on January 18, 2014 [7 favorites]	„

Not to worry! By 2017 they had totally forgotten about that "bad stuff". Hypocrites, or just poor institutional memory? But there's always another whiner in every crowd, to "remind them" that Liartown is "EEEEBBBBIIIILLLL":

“	Yeah, no, lkc. It's not the funny porn captions that make him problematic. It's shit like the tweet by LiarTown's author telling people to stop giving a shit about gender politics (I'd fucking LOVE to, bro, but unfortunately those gender politics won't leave me the fuck alone) and then overreacting to criticism by Jezebel for that by making a graphic that makes their site seem like whiny lady babies who are too easily offended. Like, I don't think anyone here needs to be told that we can like things that are problematic. I like Jezebel and coincidentally they're super problematic and deserve to be made fun of, but it's sure as hell not because they call attention to sexism in the world like a guy claiming that the key to happiness is just not caring about gender politics. It's bullshit: if you stop getting upset about getting paid less than men and rape culture and street harassment then those things won't affect you... oh wait... maybe not caring about those things is this silly thing people call privilege? My overall point is that people do deserve to be called out on utterly tone deaf tweets like Greg Nog linked above and it doesn't mean they're a bad person who should never dare make another funny graphic again. It's not enough that Mike Pence wouldn't like something, you don't get to be a hypocrite and claim SJW are overly sensitive losers when you react to criticism by creating things like the SJW kitten calendar, which is itself an overly sensitive move. Super sick in general of people telling others not to be so sensitive when human beings are sensitive and prone to defensiveness no matter what their political leanings are: we're all reactionary, easily offended beings. People like Tejaratchi who pretend they're any different while using their space on the internet to obsess about those they disagree with are living in denial and don't need to be protected from criticism. posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 4:32 PM on April 25, 2017 [6 favorites]	„
—that last paragraph seems to make zero sense

Thread about Airbnb covering up rapes and murders in Airbnb properties? Let us drag it off topic and snivel "bad framing" shit about the value of a human life. Take it up with the government, loser.

“	How Government Agencies Determine The Dollar Value Of Human Life. Sheesh, this article's framing bothers me, though it gets a little better at the end. The VSL (value of a statistical life) is not the same thing as the value of "a life" - it's a way to assign monetary values to risk. Like the kind of decision I might make in deciding whether I want to buy a car with extra safety features - what's that extra safety worth to me? Capturing those societal preferences when deciding how to spend government money. It's misleading to say that the government is valuing one person's life at $10 million. posted by Emily's Fist at 5:17 PM on June 16 [6 favorites]	„

Old Memes And "Nerd Heroes"

Old memes from 4chan are posted on Metafilter when they have become tame, therefore useless. Dork subjects like the George Lucas Crap Factory or comic books are always popular. [38][39] And Calvin and Hobbes cartoonist Bill Watterson gives them a collective ladyboner. [40][41][42][43][44]

Never, ever, ever criticize Steve Jobs on Metafilter. [45][46][47] The only person who can do that is his daughter, and when the truth ends up in print (like in a BOOK and all), the MeFoogers are all like "yeah he was a dick after all". Long after the fact. Cowards.

And when a person who was famous for writing horrible nerdy books or making nerdy music or being on nerdy TV shows dies, the MetaFuckers throw the most pathetic fits of pseudo-sadness you've ever seen. [48][49][50][51]

No one other than introverted nerds and dorks has ever heard of Iain Banks. Evidently they qualify.

“	NO-o-o-oo shit shit shit posted by seanmpuckett at 4:01 AM on April 3, 2013	„

Throughout MeFOOK's history Banks was venerated as if he were "important" lol.

“	NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :( . posted by kurosawa's pal at 8:54 AM on June 9, 2013	„

Extra-special mention to the thread in 2008 when the suicide of pretentious-hipster-hero writer David Foster Wallace was reported. If you had fans like that, you'd hang yourself too.

BONUS! No one could ever call Elie Wiesel a pussy. When it comes to Hebrews, he was the bad-assiest. But when he died, the MeFucks (very few of whom are Jews, and none of whom are badass) pussied out real good.

Extra lols for Christmas 2016 when two of their biggest idols died. The Carrie Fisher thread was enormous. But the George Michael thread was also enormous and yet was removed from the front page the next day. For no apparent reason.

And let's not forget the turdblossoms generated when someone they hate dies. Consider the Roger Ailes thread for reference purposes. Replete with heavily upvoted pathetic nerd jokes:

“	I'm guessing it involved Princess Leia and a chain.	„
—posted by Rust Moranis at 9:56 AM on May 18 [127 favorites]

Or Billy Graham:

“	Good riddance. posted by Kitteh at 9:10 AM on February 21 [5 favorites]	„
—Thanks bitch, how very "Christian" of you

Or Barbara Bush:

“	I'm with kafziel. She was an insulated, racist, classist, privileged monster. I wish I believed in hell. posted by tzikeh at 7:56 PM on April 17 [28 favorites]	„
—Not to worry cause hell doesn't believe in you either

Or her husband only a few months later:

“	I missed my edit window, but - we could use a president with a diplomatic, international-relations philosophy now. I'd prefer an Obama, but a GHWB would be good enough these days. What a wonderful example of how evil relies on this sort of slow, public deterioration of moral norms. I wonder what nastiness will be "good enough" tomorrow. posted by invitapriore at 9:48 PM on November 30 [23 favorites] ["and it's alarming to see so many people here either forgetting or not caring about that in the first place. " To be fair, I'm deleting some of the strongest and most vividly-stated opinions on HW's character, and also, hey guys, save your fact-free afterlife torture fantasies for Dante.] posted by Eyebrows McGee (staff) at 10:23 PM on November 30 [7 favorites]	„
—Washington is somewhat fucked up but these people are deeply certifiable

Or Totalbiscuit:

“	May he find as much peace as he granted his targets. For someone who loved "Get cancer" as a thing to throw at his targets, there's some bitter cosmic irony that it would catch up with him. (Which is to say, when someone's spent years directing death threats against others, doxxing people, & driving people to suicide, he doesn't get to have all that forgotten) posted by CrystalDave at 6:38 PM on May 24 [15 favorites]	„
—--[52]

Plus, all you need to have the hottest thread in weeks is to announce a female Doctor Who.....fucking nerds.....and never bring up art projects based on mental illness b/c a great number of them are "neuro-atypical" (that's code for "crazy") and throw PC shitfits if they think something is "ableist":

“	Turning someone's mental Illness into entertainment. This is the modern version of putting someone with downs into a circus. This is ableist as shit. posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 3:04 PM on September 15 [6 favorites] this is wrong. posted by shockingbluamp at 3:26 PM on September 15 [7 favorites] I really have problems with her publicizing photos of her mother's illness and addiction as a tool for her own "emotional response". posted by Lexica at 3:44 PM on September 15 [6 favorites] The photographs aren't particularly compelling, aside from the given information that they're of a woman suffering from a terrible disease. This feels like a terrible carnival side-show, targeting someone without agency over their own representation. I have nothing to say about the daughter's trauma - I assume it is real and valid - but this strikes me as an exploitative means of presenting it to the community. Honestly I wish this post would be deleted. posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:56 PM on September 15 [2 favorites]	„
—--Of course they deleted it--took them about 8 hours

When they first discovered that infamous gamer autist Ulillillia in 2006, they deplored him. Another thread from 2009 also regarded him as a freak. But there was a "takeover" around that time by Chris-chan level autists, because when they rediscovered him in 2010, they started posting aspie-mash notes to his autistic glory. This horse-shit continued when Something Awful mocked Nick in 2013.

“	Holy shit, I can't wait to see this. I am very, very fond of Nick Smith and the stuff he's made. If you've never read his (unfortunately) nigh-unreadable novel The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters, it's an absolute trip. The guy is basically the closest thing the gaming community has ever had an honest-to-goodness outsider artist. If you ever make an honest go of reading his website, or watching anything he's done, and just completely preclude yourself from either feeling sorry for him and giving him the Encylcopedia Dramatica once-over, I assure you you'll get the same chills down your spine as you would listening to Jandek or looking at a Wölfli painting or anything else made by someone who is so absolutely different and has an unceasing desire for self-expression. posted by griphus at 8:10 AM on December 22, 2011 [6 favorites]	„
—lol he mentioned the ED article lol

“	the pointing-and-laughing element of stuff like this makes me very uncomfortable. You don't get it. It's pointing and laughing at people like Cory Doctorow. posted by charlie don't surf at 4:58 PM on June 29, 2013 [4 favorites]	„

Hey, you fucksticks, do you realize that if you put in a little effort and updated Haughey's primitive shit code, then you could re-edit your comments, and not look so fucking stupid FOR ETERNITY. Jes' sayin'. Think on it.

“	So Urban Dictionary is A Modern Dictionary Of The Vultar Tongue, then? posted by hippybear at 3:58 PM on May 31 Jokes are only funny if you spell them correctly. posted by hippybear at 4:06 PM on May 31	„

Ed Asner died. Being one of the most beloved liberals in Hollywood did not help him, because in the usual thread full of sniveling "."s, there was this. Knifing dead people in the face; it's what they do.

“	Loved Ed Asner. Loved the Lou Grant show especially. But are we just going to pretend he wasn’t a supporter of 9/11 conspiracy theories? There’s much to love about the guy, but that seems at least worth a mention in the obits. posted by FencingGal at 2:06 PM on August 29	„

Isaac Asimov. Has been dead FOR THIRTY YEARS. Okay? But the announcement of Apple making a TV show out of Asimov's old "Foundation" books got him the following OP. To which were attached a vast river of nerd mechanical responses. Being one of the greatest science writers in American history means some little MeFaggot wants to find a way to shit on your grave. Always.

“	Foundation is a new TV series being adapted from Isaac Asimov's novels. Airing next year on Apple TV+, the show stars Jared Harris as Hari Seldon, Lee Pace as Brother Day, Lou Llobell as Gaal, Leah Harvey as Salvor, Laura Birn as Demerzel, Terrence Mann as Brother Dusk, and Cassian Bilton as Brother Dawn. Despite considering himself a feminist, Asimov was a serial harasser.	„

And hell yes they never mentioned the show again.

Vegetarianism

Arguing about vegetarianism and veganism. Metafilter has a number of vegans, who like vegans everywhere somehow believe that the world wants to hear about what they eat. On MeFag the vegans come up in many vegetarian threads and state calm, reasonable things like 'eating meat kills children'. Productive discussion ensues (lol). [53][54][55]

“	The longer I'm vegan, the less I understand just how someone can find a carcass appetizing. Blech. posted by Malice at 4:42 PM on February 3, 2010 [2 favorites]	„
—--http://www.metafilter.com/88900/Ways-of-Killing

An article about a guy eating his own severed foot attracts a river of stupid cannibalism jokes. [56] This is their "coping mechanism" for dealing with the meat consumption of others, unless someone deletes the thread as "not productive". Maybe this one should have been deleted.

“	I would've made Donner Kebabs. posted by slogger at 6:08 AM on June 14 [66 favorites]	„

Are there Jews on MeFI? Yes there are. Not many but they are the whiniest and snarkiest of the lot, as you can see in this thread. Duck kosher something something. Thus we can see two things at once: Metafilter is a shitstain of food trivia, along with all kinds of other trivial crap, and Talmudic law is an archaic mess. There might be some point to all this. Just don't ask a Mefite, Jewish or not.

“	Keep in mind that everything I know about orthodox sects is from back in the 90s when grand rebbes like Schneerson and Teitelbaum were still alive, but: it depends on how religious you are, basically? In orthodox circles when you have questions about halakah, you take them to your rebbe and he ideally provides you with the guidance you need based on the grand rebbe's pronouncements. It usually won't matter if another sect's rebbe disagrees with what your sect's primary leader says because generally in your sect his word on the law IS the law. In less strict circles there often isn't really a primary community leader so while you could very easily ask one of the rabbis at your local temple, most people I know who are conservative or reform just sort of figure it out as they go. But also those less strict denominations are less likely to keep kosher on a regular basis so it doesn't really come up except on high holidays, and then you get caught up in differences in interpretations between Ashkenazim and Mizrahim and Sephardim (eaters of the forbidden bean!) posted by poffin boffin at 11:40 AM on January 8 [6 favorites]	„
—this explains some things about Liz

Fatness

And despite all that veganism, whenever talk gets around to awesome new junk foods, they go all googoo and slobberish. Thus we conclude the average Metafilterite is over 250 pounds and lies about being on a "socially conscious diet". [57][58][59]

Wanna bring up carob, the crappy chocolate "substitute" people tried to push in the '70s? Yes, let's whine about it!

Jaffa cakes? Oh, you wanna talk about jaffa cakes? Well, you can, but the fat chodes of MeFi will just turn it into a pointless squabble about "non binary gender" something something.

“	savetheclocktower: When people say “you know, tomatoes are actually fruits,” they're sharing a factoid that seems surprising because a tomato fits more closely with a “vegetable” classification. But either way it's a tiresome thing to say. The fact that we think of a tomato as a vegetable rather than a fruit is either (a) accidental or (b) because some of its properties — taste-wise? crop-wise? — seem more similar to vegetables. So if you tell me that a tomato is a fruit, you'd better back it up with some reason why it's important to make the distinction, or else I'm putting you in the “pedant” bucket like the one dude who always points out that “begging the question” doesn't mean what everyone thinks it means. You can outpedant these pedants by pointing out that they're confusing culinary categories with botanical categories. While tomatoes are botanically speaking fruit, they're vegetables when cooking. The main thing is, of course, that vegetables isn't a botanical category at all. posted by Kattullus at 3:46 PM on February 28, 2017 [13 favorites]	„
—autism

Potato chips/crisps? Fuck yeah! Long as you put up with us bitching/raving/whatevering for a long time about various disgusting Tayto flavors! The MetaFlops are undoubtedly stuffing processed potatoes in their gobs while typing this drivel!

And bacon? Yes you cannot post something about bacon. Or the hypocritical screeching gets louder and louder.

“	I just finished the last of the bacon farinata, I haven't nailed the technique yet, but it was still quite tasty. I would pay more for nitrate-free bacon. Duh. I pay more for thick-sliced, which is odd because it is literally the same amount of bacon. I don't care about it being pink. It's not sentimental. I like bacon because it is very savory, salty, smoky, sweet. HP Sauce? Ketchup, FFS? That's so wrong. You want crisp lettuce, juicy tomato and a heavy hand with the mayo. I will convert to nitrate-free bacon. I will eat less bacon. Don't ask me to give it up, please. posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on March 3 [2 favorites]	„

But they must WORSHIP PIG MEAT hosannah to ded pig

“	oh my god i volunteer as product tester i will let nothing stand in the way of my dedication to ham tasting posted by poffin boffin at 11:36 AM on April 22 [12 favorites]	„
—[60]

Plus hotel buffets, and stealing food therefrom, because Meta-ass-mass must be maintained at no cost:

“	Wait wait wait- packets of Nutella are a thing? Packets of Nutella are a thing??? I am clearly not living my best life here. posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:20 AM on November 14 [14 favorites] my friend is on the set of the show she's been extraing on right now and is casually filling her giant handbag with minimuffins at my direction posted by poffin boffin at 4:45 AM on November 14 [10 favorites]	„
—https://www.metafilter.com/177671/I-have-no-compunction-about-filling-my-pockets-with-croissants

For the final dose of blobshit...a post about how the obesity epidemic is not well understood by scientists and is actually a complicated subject...was interpreted as just another trigger item for the Meta-Monster-Butts. Who are looking for a reason to attack an article poster and for support for their neuroses.

“	The way much of society discusses this topic is shameful. I would expect better at Metafilter frankly. I'm already feeling angered enough at the way this was framed, that I will not read the linked article. I am an obese PERSON, emphasis on person. If we were talking about the health risks of smoking, we wouldn't say there is a "smoker's epidemic". The risk is in the behavior, not in the person. My obese body is not part of an epidemic. And in fact, I resent being pushed to label it "obese", I am fat. I am not a medical condition, I am a person with bigger fat cells than some...If you are not fat yourself, please treat this discussion with care and act like you are talking about a disadvantaged group of PEOPLE, because you are. posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 10:34 AM on July 11 [123 favorites] Let's steer this thread in a direction that shows respect for people at all sizes. posted by latkes at 10:39 AM on July 11 [44 favorites]	„
—wayy too late

“	Mod note: Hey, mod here with a reminder to both (a) take care in how you approach a charged topic especially where it affects groups you don't belong to, and (b) to try and keep this more focused on the actual content of the link instead of the broad dive into The Discourse in general. It sounds like there's a lot of interesting stuff in the article that isn't the same tired tropes, so this'll probably go best if the conversation can focus on that. posted by cortex (staff) at 11:58 AM on July 11 [13 favorites]	„
—ahh fuck off you fake hipster

Anthony Bourdain

Phoniness and hypocrisy at its Mefinest. They started out liking him yet by 2016 he was evil scum. Oh oh oh! how they hate and despise Bourdain, a minor TV host and author! Why, why!

“	Bourdain is not my favorite Culinary Celebrity (that honor definitely goes to Jacques Pepin), but what's with all the snark? So he made a comic book? Help me understand. I love having celebrities to hate. Speaking for myself only, he has this haughty air of "I am such a great chef, all the other celebrity chefs are just in it for the money" or similar, with a special disdain for Guy Fieri in particular. But then he eats all manner of sketchy street food (with 3 cameras on him at all times, of course), ostentatiously visits strip clubs from Miami to Atlanta to Toyko (and took Alton Brown with him to the ATL one), and then promotes Sean Brock for an entire season of "Mind of a Chef," when Brock is essentially the thinking man's, pickle-obsessed version of Guy Fieri. Basically it's the old trope of thinking his favorite things are awesome while other people's favorite things, which are fundamentally similar but distinct in a narcissism-of-small-differences sense, totally suck. And it can get aggravating even if you're with him on like 90% of stuff. posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 11:46 AM on January 5, 2016 [4 favorites]	„

“	I am annoyed by both Waters and Bourdain, so I think my foodie-annoyance is gender-neutral. posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 4:41 PM on March 26 [20 favorites]	„

Because of course! MeFites are anonymous little foreskins who love the Web because they can use it to destroy famous and successful people.

“	Speaking for myself only, he has this haughty air of "I am such a great chef, all the other celebrity chefs are just in it for the money" or similar, with a special disdain for Guy Fieri in particular. But then he eats all manner of sketchy street food (with 3 cameras on him at all times, of course), ostentatiously visits strip clubs from Miami to Atlanta to Toyko (and took Alton Brown with him to the ATL one), and then promotes Sean Brock for an entire season of "Mind of a Chef," when Brock is essentially the thinking man's, pickle-obsessed version of Guy Fieri. Basically it's the old trope of thinking his favorite things are awesome while other people's favorite things, which are fundamentally similar but distinct in a narcissism-of-small-differences sense, totally suck. And it can get aggravating even if you're with him on like 90% of stuff. posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 11:46 AM on January 5, 2016 [4 favorites]	„

Three months after that last thread Bourdain killed himself. And the MeFarts simpered down off their Tower of Hypocrisy to plant another stupid little garden of . signs. And pretend none of that other shit ever happened.

“	Just about every time I saw him on television, I disliked him. Yet reading this post just a moment ago was still a gut punch, for some reason. I suspect now it’s because what I found distasteful in him was in no small part projection, with a side helping of self-recognition. My former attitude toward him now makes me feel diminished: that clearly he was struggling with demons, but all I could think was how it made me feel. I am so sorry, Anthony, and I hope you have found peace. posted by darkstar at 5:24 AM on June 8 [21 favorites]	„
—--Too late for apologies, petty Internet assbiter

“	Periodic reminder that it is fine to step away from the news and the internet if hearing about this is going to be hard for you. If you spend this weekend reading a book, going for a hike, watching a movie, etc., you can come back on Monday and the worst of the reporting should hopefully be over. posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:00 AM on June 8 [82 favorites]	„
—--this from one of the dickwads who dumped on Bourdain months before

Pseudointellectualism

It's a big word, and MeFites are big swollen foreskins who suck it well. Bring up the notorious "Monty Hall problem", and they will cheerfully stick their collective well-educated feet in their mouths for days.

“	The letters were actual letters back then. Most of the more aggregious sexist trolls are too cowardly to send traceable paper letters. posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:26 PM on February 20, 2015 [36 favorites]	„
—--that should be "egregious", you ninny

And you can't accuse them of being "too intellectual", because there's a powerful undercurrent of spiritual crackpottery just under the surface. [61][62][63] All that uglyass Monty Hall shit didn't teach them anything. When the "Sleeping Beauty rebus" was brought up in 2015, they started arguing again. [64]

And if you really wanna see a serious display of dorks on the internet bullshittery, talk about the bonkers and prob. unprovable idea that we all live in a computer simulation. Schmucks like Elon Musk and Ray Kurzweil believe in it so people who should know better also "discuss it seriously". DO IT, stand back, and enjoy the lake of turds boiling over.

Autism, you say? They will deny having any, but they do a shit job of hiding it. Let's say, some MFer autist decides to post a long, rambling essay about autists loving the Minecraft game. The result is this extra-special 2017 thread. Consider the first thread about Minecraft from 2009, it's a textbook display of ADHD/OCD/ASD alphabet soup. More Minecraft jabbery occurred in 2010 (epic!)[65][66][67], in 2011[68][69][70], in 2012, in 2013, in 2014, etcetc. And in each case it triggered a long thread of autistic whinging and rambling. They can claim they "aren't gamers" but they play something.

Did you know that Metafilter has its own private gaming server? See for yourself. It's been online since 2007 at least. But don't bother asking for a login, because you're an "outsider" and must be kept off their seeeecret playland because you're not PC/tolerant/loving/queer/aspie/self-hating enough.

DO NOT call them "intellectuals". Never refer to MeFi as a place of rational discussion and sophistication. It is not any smarter than a Facebook anti-vaxxer thread or a front-page Reddit post. Consider this item for a healthy dose of Meta-Stupidity.

“	Wild or not, kittens gotta kitten. Kitten 1: I POUNCE ON YOU! Kitten 2: NO, IT IS I WHO POUNCES ON YOU! Kitten 1: I'm GONNA POUNCE ON MOM! Mom cat: (gives look) Kitten 1: ON SECOND THOUGHT, I POUNCES ON THIS OTHER THING! posted by slkinsey at 2:36 PM on October 19 [27 favorites]	„

Still not convinced? What about the analprints?

“	I have no idea how this anus got wedged into this scanner, or why posted by Beardman at 11:38 AM on September 23 [9 favorites]	„

Eco-doom

As with all sites that flop in the left wing direction, all technology except for the internet and Apple electronics is described as making the world worse. [71] Al Gore is celebrated as a great wise man. [72][73] And don't ask them about automobiles because they have loads of 'opinions' about cars despite not knowing nuffink about that mechanical stuff. They spent the last 20-30 years praying in front of their digital thrones so an oil change is a mystery. [74]

Would you buy a used website from these assholes?

"MeFi's Own"

Because it's a luserbase, of course, when someone in the "real world" with a MeFi account does something that makes their front page, some smallberry will post a "MeFi's own" and link to the usually-defunct Metafilter account of the famous person. This form of bragging is pathetic, and rarely works very well. Because very few famous people want to waste the time or effort engaging with the Meta-Losers, it does not happen often. Some dork-lesbo nipples get hard and flinty whenever longtime MeFi user and sci-fi writer John Scalzi is mentioned in a post. This 2018 thread mentions something done by cartoonist Nina Paley - who hasn't been back to MeFuck since 2008 partly because they attacked her in 2008 and she tried to explain. Failed, but no matter, they forgot it anyway. Isn't that uhhh "strange". Pointless too? Already mentioned Scott Adams above; he's b4d 4 eternity so they'll never "MeFi pwn" him again. Anil Dash is one of their oldest users and still posts very occasionally. The same goes for Adam Savage. Otherwise MeFooboog is full of noopers and nobodies.

“	MeFi's own Woz I'm not sure that Woz actually hangs out here. Last I heard, he tried to pay his $5 membership fee with a couple of self-printed $2 bills, two buffalo nickles, a postage stamp, three subway tickets, and a handful of Linden dollars. I think Jessamyn kicked him out, but I'm not sure. posted by twoleftfeet at 3:04 AM on August 5, 2012 [14 favorites]	„
—[75]

They hate ED

Some of them anyway. In case you missed it. Other than occasional links to ED articles about some specific subject, MF had exactly two--TWO--threads about Encyclopedia Dramatica itself. In all of MF's long history, only two mentions. That would be the 2010 thread about idiotic Australia attempting to block ED for running "hate speech". And the 2011 thread about Girlvinyl shutting it down (fail, baby). Such threads include loving commentary such as the items quoth below. Thus it seems a number of MeFites hate ED and would evidently like to see it gone from the web. One must wonder what they think of ED's resurgence. (A few people have tried to start a new MF thread about this, and found themselves banned forever by Haughey.)

• Australia:

“	Encyclopedia Dramatica sucks. A lot. But the question of censorship should never be left up to questions of merit. Censoring this amplifies a stupid-ass webpage way more than allowing it would have. Just let it the fuck be, and be smarter and funnier if you have to refute it for any reason. Smarter and funnier than ED is the lowest of thresholds as is anyway.	„

“	People who frequent ED are the worst kind of trolls - and by that I mean they just aren't very good at it. It's where trolls go after they first feel that rush of adrenaline one gets when you make another person on the internet really angry, but before they figure out that shit like "it's over 9000" isn't actually funny.	„

“	ED also stands for erectile dysfunction. That's when you have difficulty getting a boner.	„

• OHI shutdown:

“	Good fucking riddance.	„

“	And nothing of value was lost Truer words were never spoken.	„

“	I for one will miss the ejaculations of contempt, homophobia, misogyny, antisemitism, general abusiveness, bullying, entry level trolling, and links to internet shock sites that passed for comedy on this site. Because where else are you going to find such wit? It just doesn't exist anywhere else on the web!	„

The best part is this: when it's time to be hypocrites about their hatred of Dramatica, and something happens in the real world (?) a MFer wants to post about, they will post a thread mentioning when an ED article is taken down. As if it were "news".

“	I grew up on Stephenson and Gibson so there's a tiny part of me which believes /b/ will eventually save the world. posted by fullerine at 12:30 AM on December 9, 2010 [108 favorites]	„
—autist!

Suicide (a/k/a "cool death, bro")

Poor Cheerwine. She would probably be alive today if she hadn't listened to the fucking freaks on Metafilter who are like a crowd yelling "jump" as a distraught person stands on a ledge twenty stories up.

Mefites have an extremely short life-expectancy, due to the prevalence of suicide among the misfit userbase there. This creates lulz. There are regular obit threads on Metatalk for Mefites who have offed themselves (known, in ED-land, as "becoming an hero"). In a long enough timespan, every Mefite will eventually self-pwn.

One unfortunate, not lulzy suicide was committed by Cheerwine, a victim of Mefi's boundless support of transgender people despite the fact that, once they "transition," they will be seen as misfit freaks by everyone they meet for the rest of their lives. Cheerwine was asking how she could get through TSA's draconian screening procedures with the gigantic flaccid dildo she had stuffed in her underwear in a feeble attempt to appear male (this is known as "packing" your pantaloons). One week later, after an awkward incident involving the "packer" being mistaken for a plastic explosive, Cheerwine had self-pwned. Thanks, Mefi!

This is a Metafilter transgender. People who have had gender transition surgery are nineteen times more likely than average to attempt suicide. Metafilter encourages people to plunge into this death spiral.

But how dare you actually post an item to the front page about actual suicide! Especially when it involves high school kids and trigger words! If you do that, the scary-looking Eyebrows lady will nuke it instantly! Because trigger words!

Ask Metafilter

Ask consists largely of questions about whether it is wise to leave your partner as you have seen them fornicating with two furries, six dwarves, a large dog, or an ax murderer. Also a great place to ask for new names for your cat. In spite of their endless claims of having a "great resource" of "knowledge", it's actually nothing more than Another Online Forum Full of Little Rectum-Biters.

• Ask about editing Wikidickpedia, and you'll get advice from "Dhartung", one of the Jessamyn buddies who helped "protect" her TOW article for years, rewrote Haughey's biography, and offered his opinions on COI editing of TOW on a 2006 thread he added to a year later. Comical part: by 2010 they were routinely bitching about how pedantic and crazy the Wiki-World was. Hypocrites.

• Try looking at their top discussions of all time to see what narcissistic dull pantysniffers they really are.

• Plus as usual, sexytime is a scary, scary subject. [76] "Ask" also serves as a dumping ground for people who talk about things they don't want to see on the main forum. (No trigger words!!)

• Ask Metafilter’s Human Relations tag is dominated by “anonymous” questions from confused souls asking, for example, whether they should be troubled that their husband wants to engage in wife-swapping or their therapist has recommended that they join a vegan sex cult. In all cases expect the recommendation to be more therapy. When the questions aren't from invisible lesbians and insufferable sad sacks whining about how much they, as middle-class Americans, have it worse than starving African AIDS baby rape victims, they're from equally insufferable Nice Guys who want to know how best to get away with date raep. Any known woman caught asking a question about her relationship will rightfully be called a slut over and over, until her post is deleted by Jessamyn, who can't stand the thought that her centipede-infected vagina isn't the only one on MetaFilter. [77][78]

• AskMetafilter also serves as an official support group for high-testosterone, lantern-jawed feminist women who recoil in horror at the thought of reproducing with their husbands, who complain about their husbands not serving as adequate emotional tampons, and those live with husbands who are allergic to work, completely ineffectual, and addicted to video games.

• Nothing screams "autistic pedants" louder than a thread about whether pizza is a sandwich or not. It appears that MeFuck's "golden age" peaked in 2008 and they've been sagging ever since. Like your mom's penis.

• The last time any MeFoob mentioned this very article was in 2010. Anyone posting the link today is instantly banned and reverted.

A totally real and genuine Ask MeFi thread:

“	Dear Metafilter, I am a 20 year old lesbian who has just moved to a new town, and I'm too young for the bar scene. How should I meet other gay women? -anonymous Dear anonymous, Sometimes relationships can go seriously wrong. What if the other woman is not really gay? You definitely need to lawyer up. -ParisianSnowflake Dear anonymous, I'm a straight guy, but I'm sure I can answer your question. You see, blah blah blah friendzone blah blah ladder theory blah blah George Sodini was right blah blah blah. -AwsumDood39 Dear anonymous, Have you considered therapy? -SelfSatisfiedAndIntellectuallyLazy Dear anonymous, You need to find Jesus! -Konolia	„

MetaTalk

Of course they have a place to "unwind". Where they actually generate abuse and lulz against each other. In the wake of particularly traumatic front page posts, huge swaths of comments on the sub-section MetaTalk are devoted to working out just how offended people are. One recent enormous MetaTalk thread, for example, devolved into a tedious and arcane discussion of how offended feminist theorists should be if transsexuals show up at women’s rights meetings. Afterwards most of the participants logged off MetaFilter and headed over to /b/ to fap to delicious lolis, all the while congratulating themselves for being smarter than your average /b/tards.

two prominent Metafilter users are pictured here. One of them later died of lung cancer having been a chainsmoking butch lesbian w/many tattoos to hide the track marks SUPPOSEDLY

MeFites are famous for lauding themselves for "pulling together as a community". “Oh my God you guys are so amazing,” someone will post after a death results in a chain of “.” symbols, and then the mod will post it to the front page. Everyone will be amazed by themselves for honoring the dead person with a mass of astute punctuation marks, demonstrating the good sense of being on Metafilter instead of 4chan.

For numerous hot stinking examples, consult the "Sexism" list given above. Or look at their "Etiquette/Policy" section, where threads with hundreds of name-calling posts are almost a daily occurrence. Complaints about the moderators are also routine, and always followed with smug personal attacks. [79][80][81] Being quoted in "mainstream news media" makes for hardened clits. [82]

In 2010 the constipated neebs gave themselves a stroke over how they busted up a white-slavery ring. The Ask section thread was one of the most upvoted in Ask history. Of course, like most of their good deeds, months later they learned it exists only in their retarded imaginations. (The blog post by "Miconian" that blew the whistle was disappeared, along with the rest of his blog. Probably because Haughey and company threatened him. Luckily it's still on archive.org.)

Not to mention the 2012 suicide hoax. User "holdkris99" had an account created for his "wife", who proceeded to bullshit at much length that he'd killed himself. Even Haughey fell for it.

“	I'm so sorry mrs holdkris99. His name seemed really familiar and I searched my email and realized I emailed with him the day before (possibly just hours before) his death, when he asked me to edit his last Willie Nelson post which sounded like an obit until we trimmed the first sentence to make it a proper new album announcement. He sounds like an amazing person that went through a lot and I have fond memories of the things he posted here. He will be missed.	„
—--idiot

Eventually Cortex realized they'd been trolled:

“	I'm closing this up; it turns out that this death announcement was bullshit and Marc is very much alive. There is a new Metatalk post here.	„
—--Cortex finally showing some brain tissue, lol, and OF COURSE they banned both accounts quickly

Metafilter user Conspire's face, seen here, exhibits the classic symptoms of acute onset of Asian butthurt

In 2016, a handful of high-strung faggy Asian SJWs got butthurt over the existence of something called Rage Yoga in the basement of a bar in Canada, and were outraged that not every MeFite agreed that "Rage Yoga" was an evil example of "cultural appropriation." This led to a festival of butthurt whining and nastiness from the Asian crybully Mefites and their limp-wristed white enablers. Small-dicked Oriental Mefites like Errant, Conspire (who is an epic whinger), and 23Skidoo flew into rage about this adoption of colored people's culture, perhaps not appreciating the irony of Asians, who basically are only good at copying shit that other people invent, being pissed about their culture being ripped off. Metafilter mods, defending against the accusation that they had not tried hard enough to find a person of color during their last moderator hiring (when they hired a white soccer mom and attorney), claimed that they had a binder full of people of color but that the binder got lost in Jessamyn's armpit hair and the moderator team was "stretched too thin" to conduct an expedition into that jungle to retrieve the binder.

In the course of the debate about Metafilter's lack of moderator diversity, it was mistakenly claimed that Metafilter lacks a transgender mod. This is not true, Metafilter has a CAFAB moderator that is transgender. Its name is Jeremy. (June 2016 update: Metafilter added a new sexually confused he/she transfag as a tech person, an Austrian transgender named "frimble", a username that stands for "free, nimble rim jobs" that frimble is known for.)

“	The Encyclopedia Dramatica people may be assholes, but they're our kind of assholes — curating web weirdness still, shitty. posted by waraw at 6:07 PM on October 27, 2008	„
—--http://metatalk.metafilter.com/16885/Cool-or-Not-Cool

Metafilter Advice: In the Case of Muslim Terrorist Attacks, Choose to be Gay!

One of Metafilter's saddest, loneliest pre-suicidal faggots, Fizz, likes to remind everyone when there is a raghead terrorist attack that you should always choose to be gay. Do not hate, do not vote for Trump, do not exclude swarthy people with stone-aged religious beliefs from your country. Instead, join Fizz in being gay and getting your anus stretched to about yay big. Here is Fizz's standard copyfagsta:

	“	Reminder: 1. Choose not to hate. 2. Choose not to make baseless assumptions. 3. Choose not to be online. 4. Love. 5. Think. If you find this kind of news overwhelming, distressing, and traumatic. Consider signing out of your social media/news-feeds. In a few days the news will settle and more truthful and reliable information will be out. And emotions will also not be at as high a level. Stay safe. I hate that I've posted this exact same comment several times within the past few years. Too many times. Fuck. posted by Fizz at 4:11 PM on July 14 [62 faggots liked this]	„

The faggiest comment ever posted anywhere on Metafilter

One of Metafilter's freakiest, shriekiest faggots is a socially awkward female troll named Frowner (archive), who showed up in 2010 and has repeatedly waxed suicidally in comment after shrill comment about her dismal existence as a secretary, rueing the opportunities she never seized due to her poor self-esteem arising out of her freakish gender presentation and trailer park origins. And the MeFools upvote her ravings again and again. She knows the way to "trigger" them correctly, with displays of self-loathing.

Crazy shit issues forth from Frowner routinely. And don't ask her about trans people.

“	Oh, and it's not appropriate to cook quinoa because quinoa imports destabilize the Bolivian economy, etc. posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:14 PM on May 14, 2014	„

This is Frowner, who rarely makes a comment without some reference to her social class.

She posted what is surely the faggiest comment ever seen anywhere, on any Metafilter site, perhaps even in the entire history of the internet (which is quite an accomplishment since the internet is no stranger to the word-dribblings of damaged freaks). Here is what she said:

	“	finding a tumblr-literate therapist was a huge piece of luck for me	„
	—lolwut?

Said comment came up when Frowner was recounting her Tumblr-induced self-loathing as a white person. If you, as a Metafilter member, do not repeatedly engage in public, ritual self-flagellation on account of your whiteness, you will be summarily shunned from Metafilter. Also note that Frowner has removed all her user info as of 2016. Like all great Internet asswipes, she seeks to tear down other people while remaining anonymous and untouchable.

“	I mean, half of my family is from a pretty redneck area, and before that from Appalachia, and they'd all gnaw off a forearm before voting for Trump, so it gets me down a little bit to have all this blanket "no sympathy for people from distressed areas". posted by Frowner at 5:10 AM on March 20 [60 favorites]	„
—--[83]

“	It also reminds me that as the economy polarizes, more and more of the people who set the broader cultural tone will be rich people who can afford to do whatever one does to become a bearded "affinity marketer"; the tone of the culture will be more and more geared at rich people; and what used to be the outward signs of bohemia will/do no longer signal particularly progressive politics. I mean, back in the day, if you wore goofy clothes and grew your own herbs, it was because you were a hippie and you were plugged in to a certain political worldview. Now it's just that the elites have done their usual strip-mining of the nicer parts of the poor kind of counterculture - better food, avoiding sweatshop crap if you can afford to do so - and made it their thing, a gentrification of cultural habits. posted by Frowner at 7:31 AM on May 2, 2013 [63 favorites]	„
—--[84]

Frowner treated Metafilter to a lovely disquisition on her gender presentation, we were all rapt as she shared how butch she is, and how problematic she finds expectations of butch "women":

“	I guess I should clarify that I am routinely described as a butch woman, and have described myself that way. Most of the women I'm attracted to are butch. I am always horribly hurt by the straight reading of butch women as repulsive/failed/etc. It haunts me in a lot of my social interactions. I think the discourse about butchness is weird and problematic, and that's one reason that I tend not to describe myself that way. People in this town think I look like Big Boo and will walk up and tell me so. I don't look like Big Boo, but I look closer to Big Boo than most queer women of my approximate age. That's where I'm coming from - someone who is relentlessly read as butch, relentlessly put into a very narrow reading of butchness and simultaneously treated as disgusting and privileged because of it.	„
—--[85]

Extremely Lulzy Threads

The awesomest ones tend to appear on MetaTalk because putting the shit on the front page would be bad. Also note that the Talk threads invariably attract snide putdowns from Haughey, West or Cortex. Narcissistic fuckheads always must have the last word. Despite claiming publicly to be a place to express open opinions, Metafilter's various subsections are actually places for hatred, abuse and personal attacks.

• Something something Christian "There are enough people pretending to be Christian that I hardly think one more is going to hurt anything."
• Overmoderation? "Hi there, mods. Yes, you. Mathowie, jessamyn and cortex. Please stop closing MeTa threads so early and so often. I think you're forgetting the "community" part."
• From 2009, someone brings up the 1989 massacre at École Polytechnique in Montreal, and it degenerates into sexist namecalling. From both sides.
• The above led to this which has something to do with this.
• "I really wish people could post comments as anonymous sometimes. Because by percentages alone, YOU KNOW that there are people reading this thread who are, indeed, serial flashers or public masterbators. There HAVE to be. You know, I can take a bit of sexism, but this is really overboard." Original thread deleted by Haughey, because.
• "A post about how women experience street harassment has been deleted."
• More MRA/feminist japing
• From 2007: "please erase this MeFi user from my brain" which led to the deletion of the front-page thread and the eventual bannination of the user. As usual.

Examples Of Cortex Having His Ample Ass Kissed

(note: he's deleted all these early sound files, prob. because they're embarrassing, but if you must hear the 2010 album, DL it here and DON'T PAY FOR IT)

He's an expert on asses

• HE CUMS AGAIN
• Yes, tell him to stop being himself
• you're one to complain about spamming
• worst cover of "California Dreamin" evar
• Woody rolls in his grave
• a track off his utterly forgettable and forgotten 2010 album
• another track off his utterly forgettable 2010 album
• ditto
• his attempt to suck up to his suckups on MeFi
• let's be glad she never heard this cover
• ANOTHER track from his shit 2010 album
• more of the same
• too awful to listen to--a "parody of the Portal end song"

“	WAIT HOLD THE FUCKIN' PHONE, THIS IS A DIFFERENT OWEN WILSON WOWSABER VIDEO, THIS ONE'S EVEN BETTER posted by cortex at 1:53 PM on July 20 [17 favorites] I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'VE BEEN INTERNET, BUT YOU'RE BACK posted by cortex at 1:54 PM on July 20 [13 favorites]	„
—--fuck you, asshole

“	I'm Josh Millard. I own and run MetaFilter; I paint and write music and make web art. I like Menger sponges and Markov chains.	„
—--He OWNS Metafilter?? Since when? Did he cuck-buy it from Haughey the way Zaiger crawled away from ED?

Let's "OUT" some more MeFites for the lulz

• One of their most popular users, John "The Whelk" Leavitt, writes awful fan fiction about TV shows. And uses Metafilter to promote himself. (Try searching for "Whelk Projects".) He disabled his Meef account in early 2020, maybe he saw this article?
• Another popular user is Marisa "kitteh" Sandlin. She is a commie-vegan-blahblah feminist from Canuckistan who runs a lame podcast about beer and has a CV that is the pure stereotype of the flaky millennial urban feminist. Can't seem to hold a job for very long. (After she was added to this article she yanked her website down. Archive)
• Let's not forget that brilliant shining genius Max Sparber (who? BTW he pulled his blog down after seeing this article so you will have to be satisfied with archives of his ravings)
• Let's not forget that other brilliant shining genius, MeFi's own Kristen Roupenian, a/k/a Pretentious Illiterate, whose story Cat Person caused MeFi's shrillest feminists to go apeshit with delight
• Nor should we forget Liz "poffinboffin" Wickerman. Formerly "elizardbits". Annoying sperg to the max and a card-carrying JAP from NYC who goes around the internet trying to remove any mentions of her usernames. Don't ask her about Chris Hardwick. Or about her old Tumblr.
• And Joseph "hippybear" Parkton is, according to this thread, a furry and coder from Spokane. Totally predictable. Yiff in hell, dude.
• In the real world Dr. Erin Kane is a primatologist and researcher of some note, specializing in the study of Diana monkeys of West Africa. On Metafilter? She (was) a drooling idiot. And disabled her account in 2021, apparently because of this article. Funny how these Meta-Whingers can't take a little heat.
• Faint of Butt has an IMDB entry. He used to run a stupid blog.

Butthurt videos

|

WAAAHHHH MY IPHONE IS BROKEN WAAAHHH

Jessamyn and Cortex mumble at each other pointlessly

If you don't hate Jessamyn yet you will after watching this

More Jessamyn blubbering about MeFi's tenth anniversary in 2009

Haughey pontificates at 2012 XOXO just before their Alexa rank craters

Previous Video | Next Video

External links

• HAVE YOU BEEN TO HELL??? WANNA SEE WHAT HELL LOOKS LIKE? (Also wanna stalk some MeFucks?) Here is cortex's Flickr. Do not examine witout a bucket close at hand.
• You don't have to worry about MetaFucker for much longer. Their Alexa rank has been dropping like a rock for the past several years, and Haughey recently resigned as Glorious Dear Leader. Of course, he blamed Metafilter's decline on a "change in Google's algorithm". They had to lay off workers, too. Yes, that's correct, MeFi was just another Google AdWords moneymaking scheme, posing as a "free and open community". No fun anymore, maaan. Of course Haughey went on MetaTalk and tried to smooth it all over with his usual half-assed dick snorkley nonsense.
• "Metafilter’s downfall is the perfect metaphor for the way we Internet now", gasp! You mean things aren't wonderful in MeFlop Land?
• There's a subreddit on Reddit about Metafilter. Cleverly made to look like Metafilter's front page....moderated by Jessamyn and Cortex....and almost dead. A few posts per month.
• The same day this article ran as AOTN, this post appeared on MetaTalk. And was dismissed and attacked. The top-voted comment: "As exemplified by restless_nomad's incredibly patient comment in this thread, given the tone of the post and personal insult directed at her, I will once again go on record as saying I think the moderators on Metafilter are not only some of the best moderators anywhere, but some of the best, most patent (sic) people on the face of the planet. Most of the rest of us would probably have just told you to cram it." "posted by bondcliff at 8:42 AM on August 28, 2015 [266 favorites] "

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