Unreal Tournament

The Unreal Tournament series are a bunch of FPS games that spawned from Unreal, a sci-fi game about exploring an alien planet. Now Unreal is usually associated with the arena FPS games full of deathmatch, M-M-M-MONSTER KILL, and completely fucktarded mods.

The Games

Xan Kriegor. What a badass.

Responsible for kicking Kriegor's robotic rump.

• Unreal: The 1998 game and starter of this madness. In Unreal, you play as an anonymous prisoner who is aboard a ship that is going to some maximum-security prison planet or some dumb shit but it crashes on the planet of Na Pali. The natives of the planet, some Hindu-god looking creatures called the Nali, are under attack by some lizard-bug-aliens called the Skaarj. The Skaarj have invaded the planet because it contains Tarydium, which, when grounded up, can be awesome to snort. When the Skaarj Queen is killed at the end of the game, the prisoner hops into an escape pod as the Skaarj mothership blows up. Unfortunately, the pod runs out of fuel, so the prisoner is left to float in space. Aside from the single-player storyline, there is also multiplayer which basically became Unreal Tournament (because Epic Games = lazy). Some of the maps are actually reused in UT. Oh, and it's the inspiration behind Avatar.

• Return to Na Pali: This is the expansion. The UMS Bodega Bay finds the prisoner floating around like a retard in space. The crew of the ship finds out that the prisoner is, well, a prisoner, and forces him or her to find the downed UMS Prometheus. When the prisoner finds SEKRIT SPACE DOX in it, it turns out the crew of the Bodega Bay are evil and they get mad. They try to kill the prisoner who escapes... again.

• Unreal II: The Awakening: The sequel of Unreal of course, though some consider it to be fine on its own but as a sequel, kind of meh. The protagonist is John Dalton, a former marine, and he's assigned to find pieces of an ancient weapon that will be uber when assembled.

• Unreal Tournament: Released in 1999 and the most popular of any game in the series. There is actually a plot: In 2291 and the New Earth Government has noticed that space miners are beating the shit out of each other. What do they do? Legalize fighting of course! With the help of the Liandri Mining Corporation, they create the tournaments. Now it's 2293 and you are part of a team of faggots and are destined to win the tournament. Also, a black dude called Malcolm of the Thunder Crash team defeats Xan Kriegor and becomes the champion for like nine years.

The game itself is full of people abusing the fuck out of the flak cannon and rocket launchers, and techno oontz oontz music. It is interesting to note that this was going to be Unreal's expansion pack but turned into a game of its own.

• Unreal Championship: Released in 2001 for the Xbox. It promised features like vehicles and 64 players on one map. TOO BAD IT FUCKING SUCKED.

• Unreal Championship 2: Released in 2005 for the Xbox 360. It has a lot of melee weapons such as staves that can freeze people and crush their skulls. It was obviously much better-received than its predecessor. The backstories caused some fans to think that there was an alternate universe, because if some major characters were killed and revived as Necris, why didn't they use the respawner instead?

• Unreal Tournament 2003: At least 100 years later, an empire rises and the Emperor originally thought that the tournaments were pretty fucking stupid. That was, until he realized that idiots eat this shit up and would pay to see Warhammer guys, goths, and furry aliens blow each other up.

Most of the fans of UT thought UT2003 was shit because the new gameplay features were tacked on, such as adrenaline, where you collect pills by killing or finding them and getting power-ups through them. Double-jumping also brought forth rage from the UTfags. OH NO NEW FEATURES!!! Another thorn in the side of UTfags was the excessive nerfing of most the guns which, combined with the new spaz happy gameplay, made it damn near impossible to kill anyone in a reasonable amount of time.

• Unreal Tournament 2004: UT2003 with MORE SHIT! There's like OMG VEHICLES AND STUFF! The vehicles include:

• the Manta, a land hovercraft that can crush people's heads off,
• the Scorpion, a one-person car that can shot web and slice people up,
• the Hellbender, a truck for three and used for sniping,
• the Goliath, a tank with DAKKA DAKKA,
• the SP(a)MA, a long-ranged military vehicle used to spam lolbombs on anyone stupid enough to stand still til they get there.
• the Raptor, a flying vehicle with missiles,
• the Paladin, much like in WoW, the paladin is a tank used by noobs to pwn other noobs. That's about all it's good for.
• the Cicada, a bomber used to troll the fuck out of everyone.
• and the Leviathan: A huge vehicle that has a missile spammer, 4 turrets for spamming lasers, and unfolds to pull out a huge laser that blows the crap out of everything.

Needless to say, UT2004 players seemed to only really like deathmatch and not much else as the other game modes highlighted the nerfed weapons problem and the vehicle modes meant dying quickly to spawn camping vehicles.

• Unreal Tournament 3: While this game was liked a bit more by the UTfags, the UT2003 and UT2004 fanboys complained about the removal of certain dodging tactics and shitty single-player mode. More vehicles were added and certain teams/races got certain vehicles. Additionally, the weapons were slightly denerfed, making them "OMG OP!!!" for the UT04 noobs and still too weak for the UT1 oldfags.

Gameplay

ASSAULT!

Bombing Run in UT2004.

A vehicle in UT3. Beep beep motherfucker.

• Assault: One team defends something and the other attacks it. Some of them are objectives like "go into the mothership, and attempt a suicide mission by destroying it from the inside," "go onto a convoy and steal some missiles," or "blow this shit up because it will be COOL." It's essentially "Warfare" in UT3.

• Betrayal: In UT3, Betrayal mode allows you to gain points by pwning your friends.

• Bombing Run: Space FPS basketball in UT2003 and UT2004 but for some reason was dropped in UT3. Unfortunately you don't get to suicide bomb anything, despite the name.

• Capture the Flag: Obvious.

• Cloak Match: A game type from Unreal: Return to Na Pali. Whoever kills first gets to pwn more until s/he is killed, and the killer gets the "cloak" of PWNAGE.

• Cooperative: In Unreal, you and a few other fags play single-player levels. In UT3, you play as one of the Ronin guys and team up against the Necris bots.

• DarkMatch: Unreal's Deathmatch except it's Doom 3 dark.

• Deathmatch: Shoot the shit out of everyone. There are power-ups lying around along with adrenaline in the newer games, that when 100 is obtained, codes can be entered for superpowers and shit. Team Deathmatch is... well, deathmatch with a red and blue team.

• Domination: Capture the level's control points. You actually needed to work with people in order to get shit done. Double Domination sucked because only one player could guard a point at a time and it was too annoying.

• Duel: Two players fight in a small map. Whoever wins will continue on and the loser will go to the end of the line.

• Jew: This was originally a fanmade UT2004 mod. The guy who created it now works for Epic Games. Basically you collect skulls from killed players and you lug them to the enemy base.

• Invasion: Monsters from the first Unreal game swarm in waves, and you gotta shoot the fuck out of them. If you die, you spawn in the next wave.

• King of the Hill: Unreal only. Whoever kills first gets to be glowy and awesome and you try to stop that faggot from being glowy and awesome.

• Last Man Standing: Everyone starts with a number of lives, health, and armor. Self-explanatory. Surival is similar.

• Marine Match: In Unreal only. Space Marine bots hunt you and your dumb friends down.

• Mutant: Whoever kills first becomes the Mutant. He will keep on losing health but will be really strong otherwise. That is, until he's killed. Noone cares about this gamemode.

• Nali Slaughter: A UC2 gamemode. Holocaust all the Nali!

• Onslaught: Using vehicles in UT2004, you have to take over power nodes to short out the enemy team's power core.

• Overdose: In UT3. Radioactive balls are delivered to goals.

• eXpanded MultiPlayer: Class and vehicle-using multiplayer in Unreal II. Since nobody cares about Unreal II, not much needs to be said about it.

Characters and Teams

Domina has a serious case of DAT ASS.

Hawt.

FOR GLORIOUS NIPPON!

34!

Aside from the single-player games, Unreal Tournament games actually have characters with short backstories, along with their teams. One of the main characters is Xan Kriegor, a cybernetic being who was the champion for the longest time until Malcolm kicked his ass in 2293. Liandri upgraded him to Xan MK II but that failed also. Currently he is Xan MK III.

Malcolm is, of course, a tough black dude that made Xan QQ and lose his title in the tournaments. He is part of team Thunder Crash. However, Gorge breaks his spine in 2302, and becomes a commentator instead. He also asked some Egyptian guy called Anubis to join his team, but Anubis was like "lol no."

Some other teams and characters include:

• Thunder Crash: A military-themed team of black people. Okay, so there's one white guy. They include the leader, Malcolm, a rape victim, Tamika, a convict, Jakob, and a bunch of other tough black people.

• The Necris: A race of vampire goths or something. They come from Omicron 9. In the Unreal Championship games, Lauren and Brock, two lovers, committed suicide. Liandri Corporation paid a fuckton of cash to Phayder Corp so they could revive the two as Necris. Another major character that becomes a Necris is Selket, a Nakhti woman who fought only for money. She married Anubis. Some consider this basically fanfiction though.

• The Necris Black Legion: The Phayder Corporation's own team of Hot Topic-upped fags with guns!

• Black Legion: These guys are different than the Necris version. They are deformed mutants and test subjects that sport Joker faces and BSDM gear. Domina is one of them.

• Juggernauts: Warhammer-esque rage-filled convicts who were genetically boosted. They are very bulky considering they're wearing hueg armor from the Axon Research Corporation.

• Goliath: Their recolors.

• Hellions: Punk-looking pirates who are famous for stealing missiles from the New Earth Government. They like to drink, sleep with their fans, and swear a whole fucking shitload.

• Sun Blade/Egyptians: Related to Earth's Egyptians, the Nakhti formed the team Sun Blade. They were put into the game to appeal to Yu-Gi-Oh fanbois. One of their members, Diva, is JB with a rocket launcher.

• Blood Reavers: A team in UT99 who are interested in cash only. The female members have crucifixes on their stomachs.

• Dark Phalanx: Human military specialists that helped win the Human/Skaarj War.

• Venom: UT99's team of feminist athletes who fight against the New Earth Government's patriarchal society.

• Raw Steel: The male version. They are muscleheads who are probably homosexual.

• The Corrupt: Liandri Mining Corporation's own team of cybernetic fighters led by Xan Kriegor. They were pretty much designed to be sexy feminine robots and for advertising, but they can also blow shit up in the arena.

• Metal Guard: Psychotic mask-wearers who serve Xan Kreigor in UT99.

• Blood Fist: A group of cybernetics with Internet tough guy names like Widowmaker and Rapier.

• Iron Skull: In UT99, the New Earth Government mixed humans with Skaarj to make super-hybrids in the Iron Skull team. Red Claw are similar. In later games, the Iron Skull team appears to make up lost honor from their mothership being destroyed.

• Black Fist: The Skaarj enemies of the Iron Skull clan. That's it. Really.

• Gen Mo'Kai/Fire Storm: The Gen Mo'Kai are a race of feathery-tentacley aliens that are a warrior race from a forest planet, Arborea. Their team is Fire Storm, lead by Damarus, the son of the Mobeth tribe leader Gik Ma. His sister Mokara is jealous of him, and his teammate Nebri wants to fuck him even though she's so fugly she has to wear a mask.

• Ronin: A team of weeaboos in UT3. They work for the Japanese Izanagi Corporation. They're all about honor and that shit.

Unreal PPL About missing Pics

• 
  Cathode. I'd fuck her circuits.
• 
  The leader of Fire Storm, Damarus.
• 
  Egyptian JB with a rocket launcher, Diva.
• 
  Gorge, Warhammer fanboy and breaker of Malcolm's spine.

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• 
  Tamika, Thunder Crash's rape victim.
• 
  Siren is fugly.
• 
  MISTER CROW!
• 
  Weeaboo.

Weapons

SHITGUN!

Everyone uses this.

The Unreal Tournament series has, obviously, multiple weapons, many which cause whiny 13 year-old boys to scream "OMG STOP USING THE ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!1oneoneone" or "WTF U SNIPED ME BTCHHHHH!!" Here are a few of them.

• ASMD/Shock Rifle: This weapon uses purple beams to push away your enemies and lightweight vehicles. If you fire these at a core, BOOM HAPPENS.
• AVRiL: This poorly-named rocket launcher is good for trolling people who fly in a plane. Shoot them down and you're sure to get some screaming kid in voicechat.
• Assault Rifle: The typical starting gun that can launch a grenade also.
• GES Bio Rifle: GES stands for "Green Exploding Shit". It is exactly what it sounds like, also known as the cum gun. Really.
• Chainsaw: Only in UT. It's self-explanatory.
• Flak Cannon: The second-most overused weapon. It fires hot shrapnel at close range. You will probably get some retard trying to fire at you from a mile away, though. Laugh at them.
• Lightning Gun: Lightning sniping. That's it.
• Link Gun: This can boost your teammate's firepower if you aim this at them.
• Rocket Launcher: The most fucking overused weapon of all time. Luckily, most users of the rocket launcher will self-pwn in time since they'll fire too close to a wall or a tree or something.
• Redeemer: Destroy. Fucking. Everything. Extra lulz in UT1 because it has 2 shots.
• Sniper Rifle: BOOM HEADSHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mods and Skins

Being a FPS, the UT games have a lot of sites dedicated to modifying the games - and of course, since it's user-created content, a lot of sick fuckery and whatness happens. Furries are all over this shit, and love to make skins of their fursonas and let the public download them too. There's also a ton of animu skins and other strange crap that people come up with. On the bright side, this allows you to frag furries and weeaboo things provided you also downloaded the mods and other players are using them.

ADRENALINE FULL About missing Pics

• 
  Aaliyah, lol.
• 
  Oddly enough, not Ladyhellfyre's creation.
• 
  A colorful demon cock for UT2004.
• 
  Barney for UT2003. Of course.
• 
  Rule 34 of Sheneequa for original UT.
• 
  Sailor Mini Moon enters the tournament.
• 
  Chuck Norris doesn't even- nevermind...
• 
  Kawaii! ^_^

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• 
  Elvira too.
• 
  IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM.
• 
  It's called "kinky." Pikachu? Kinky?
• 
  Wings! @w@
• 
  Krystal is looking kinda derp here.
• 
  Lego Santa?
• 
  Okay seriously what the hell.
• 
  Uguu~
• 
  HURR!
• 
  Now you can be a bird!
• 
  です!
• 
  Warhammer 40,000 for UT3.

Unreal Videos

UT2004: Repercussions of Evil Skaarj Assault in UT2004. So dramatic! Warhammer models for UT3. Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

34... wait WHAT?

• Epic Games
• Angry German Kid
• Halo
• Quake
• Warhammer
• Call of Duty
• EVE Online
• Metroid
• Warframe A game by the same developers
• Machinima
• FPS
• Boomer shooter
• Dancing With Smurfs

External Links

• Official site!
• Skin City - Unreal mods and skins, many are fucking hilarious. Unintentionally.
• The Liandri Archives.

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