Juba the Baghdad Sniper

The Sniper of Baghdad's grandfather was the Thief of Baghdad.

Juba the Baghdad Sniper is an Arab terrorist in Iraq whose job it is to hide really good, and then fire deadly accurate rifle shots into the heads of Crusader soldiers. Not only does this kill many soldiers, but it makes the rest of them even more scared and freaked out than they already were - (enjoy your PTSD). As sniper bullets are the third-most-popular way to defend the Iraqi people, after roadside/suicide IEDs and RPG rockets, the soldiers never know when or from what direction the long-range bullet will whistle in. This means that a winner is J00b4 at the Counter-strike irl game.

Juba's Online Presence

Like most Islamo-fascists, Juba is very fond of 21st century media technology. Not only does he have his own attractive web site, but he has some really cool free posters you can download, designed primarily to appeal to teenage boys. They, in turn, will be the next wave of freedom fighters; and since teenagers in Iraq aren't able to play sports or go on hikes or go to the swimming pool or the beach or peel out with their cars in the high school's back parking lot or try to hack their friend's MySpace or have a keg party or eat psilocybin mushrooms or do a lot of other things that normal children take for granted, they must be content with huffing Jenkem fumes all day and night in an ugly concrete apartment with no running water (much less air conditioning) and dreaming about the day when they, too, will be concealed on some rooftop or in a bombed-out village ruin with a high-powered rifle, picking off the enemy invaders like flies.

In addition, Juba has a series of sniper videos, which are the usual sort of Mujahideen Video, with inspirational nasheeds etc., but all the footage is of sniper shots. They are like porn movies for people who have just one particular bizarre fetish, such as emetophilia or being a furry.

Who is Juba?

Most people in Iraq realize that "Juba" is really an Iraqi form of "Anonymous." That is to say, they realize that there are thousands of snipers all over Iraq, but collectively they are known as Juba, and any kill that one of them makes, Juba makes. Unfortunately for the US military, they are focused on finding just one particular guy named Juba. The CIA analyzes his web site, posters, videos, etc., trying to pin down where exactly he is hiding. When Juba makes a kill on one side of Baghdad, and 10 minutes later Juba scores a headshot on the other side of Baghdad, American commanders and intelligence officers are puzzled and frustrated. "Damn that Juba! How the hell does he get across the city so fast?" It is very confusing for them. Americans are also butthurt that the Iraqis are all campers with higher scores than all of them put together.

Juba... Moar like JEW-BA, amirite?

There are those who believe that the actions of this individual sniper named Juba are far too sophisticated to be done by mere Arabs. There's no way that a raghead could attach a camera to his rifle and then shoot it accurately. Thus, they reason, it must be an Israeli special forces or Mossad sniper. Why would Israel want to install a sniper to shoot Americans? The same reason that they have instigated numerous idiotic Sunni-Shi'a battles, set up extremely high-tech IED explosions, and created other very problematic situations: To keep Iraq chaotic so that the USA will stay for many years in a futile effort to distract ragheads from the Israeli/Palestinian shitshow. Once the huge water and oil pipelines across the desert to Israel are completed, and a new Israeli-backed government is in power, things will miraculously settle down.