User:Mr Jonzz/Archive1

Things to Maek and Do!

1) Obtain Gypsy Female

2) Extract Hymen

3) Fry using Olive Oil

4) Secrete within Gypsy Camp

5) Call Police

6) Report Cannibalism

If you would like moar information in relation to hymens then please ask your parents; a teacher, an elderly librarian or failing that the guy who's always hanging around outside the Post Office and smells of Mint Imperials

PHEAR MY CRABS

Whut?

I liek typose; thy ar my bred & wyne; lik Kommunion onle lesz old-preest cex aftawudds.

Halloween Necro-Run 2011

Coffin Jonzz Rides Again!

Over Halloween night me and the guys broke into a crypt and blasted some old daed chick. It was totally hawt and I honestly can't recall the last time I spunked so hard that I put my back into spasms, I nearly shat myself with glee. The fact I didn't have to use a rubber was a nice little bonus; straight bare-backin' like a boss.

The Venue
A fucking Ghost
Cock hard...
Fuck me, what a cutie-pie!

If you would liek moar than ploz to be asking, I will send you for PAYPAL mon€y$!

I do N00dz too... Oh ¥eeeeeeaaaaah!

The Teachings of Sir Hilary de-Ramäkat

Dogs are gay, every last one of the bastards.
Mice always taste better after you've chased them.
Never leave your galoshes beneath a willow-tree.
Always wash your paws after eviscerating a pheasant.
Predator 2 isn't actually as bad as you think.
Most humans aren't interested in feline genitalia.
ED is rife with OCD ASPIES.
AIDS isn't the 'Death Sentence' it used to be.
Another_n00b is an anally-aggrieved little faggot.
JetFlash nuzzles his own mother's dick-nipples with gusto.
Nostradamus is the only person ever to have predicted their own ED entry.
Cats are best.

Plans for 2012

Well, 2011 was shit... no shitter than 2010 but still pretty fucking shit.

I accidentally killed my sister's fish with whisky (RIP Warren & Faye).
A microwave-door exploded in my face (al Qaeda?).
My best-friend is going down for embezzling the best part of 200K from his employer.

I never saw dick of that fat-cash; the fucking cunt.

Hopefully this year I'll discover a doctor capable of completing the old 'Reverse Jacko' procedure on a budget and then land me some cocoa-cock crazed whores.

Stay lucky fuckers.

Resolutions:

Finish all of the shit computer games that I purchased in 2011.
Learn to crotchet (and/or) knit.
Remix "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio.
Kick a pigeon.
Dance upon a child's grave.
Write a letter to my local Catholic priest threatening 'revelations'.
Execute Coolio to ensure greater iTunes sales of aforementioned remix.
Flatten some coins on a railway track.
Become Black
Convert to Judaism
Commit 'The Perfect Rape'.

The Great Wikipedia SOPA Shutdown

Yeah, fuck that shit... GOOGLECA$H TO TEH RESCARU!11

Read moar about it here... SOPA

My bid for GLORY!

Today I put in a request for 'Gaming Portal' caretaker... I got sick of looking at the same 'Featured Article' day-after-day so took positive-action... if I don't get the gig it's probably because all the mods here are filthy fucking shirt-lifters.

I can haz Sig?

Mr Jonzz 13:39, 23 January 2012 (CET)

Punishment Wank

I blew a shot I had with a relatively 'fit' bird the other night by being violently sick down her top... as a result I decided to pull my pud over a golem.

	“	No Dogs with cocks over nine inches.	„
	—Dalavesta

Happy Easter Faggots!

The plastic capsule contained within Kinder-Eggs makes an ideal receptacle for your home-made semtex. You can learn more about the miraculous return of Zombie-Jesus here: http://encyclopediadramatica.se/Easter

Archivin'...

	“	So BLACK PERSON, BLACK PERSON, BLACK PERSON, BLACK PERSON, BLACK PERSON, BLACK PERSON, please, Since you're on the PENIS why don't you drop to your knees.	„
	—Eazy E

GPKFTW!

If your parents say you dress like you should be in a carnival... About missing Pics

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Go easy bro'...

Adam Nathaniel Yauch aka M.C.A. ~ August 5, 1964 – May 4, 2012

The O.C.

Moved to User:Mr_Jonzz/OC

Musical Appreciation

Yo... I'm like a dead corpse Crawling out the dirt, on some zombie shit Aiming for your neck to bite the flesh where the veins connect My brain's incorrect, traumatise you in a sec My raps are like crackin' a dead satanic intellect Slaughters you, I got more for you Gore for you, your flesh is sort of blue You'll be begging someone to pull me off of you When I'm stabbing you, I offered you a chance to leave You'll only understand when you bleed There's no talking to you... Just shovin' a fork in you Who the fuck you talking to? I'm pure death in the flesh, I'll arrange a coffin for you My knife packin' status, got you shook A lot of crooks'll respect my rep, step Kid I advise you not to look Turn your head, or you'll turn up dead Put you sleep inside a burning bed Learn from what I said I'm mushin' your peeps Then I'm skooshin' you deep Beneath, with the deceased Rest in Peace...

I... injure you with Ninja crews Contemplate what sin to do, negotiate with Satan Cause it's his decision too Hold a sword like Ghostdog Leaving blood and gross gore So disgusting that your corpse is not allowed in most morgues So jagged and decrepit kid that the maggots rejected it I dumped it in the sea and killed all life except for squid...

What?

Walk the wrong path, deviated by demons While you faggot motherfucks inebriated by semen Lure you in my web check the code your boys' is red If they look for you they'll find you in the mortuary dead Fill the clip up with the lead then put the biscuit to the head After I ripped you up to shreds I'll take a sip of what you bled

Don't ever try and hawk a riff cus I don't wanna talk I'll play the kind of sports the way you catch a tomahawk Open up your skull, fragments fall to the ground Take a toke and sniff a pull now your drawn to the sound...

Thugs cry "Blood!" , supported by the hemp and the guns Y'all tempt me to flip, so morbid when I empty the clip It's awful how we decorate your coffin, send me the clit We celebrate with Henny-Bloodshakes that render me sick Whatever ya fix, get fitted with the milli of chrome Rap Vinnie Jones, I dis-attach, snacks from the bone And ate the last witnesses K'd out on medicine Health nut, crush up my wheat-germ Chase it with heroin Guerilla-biscuits, bustin' your windpipe into splinters Another thing to cause pain in the frost in the winter Circle of Tyrants, rock an inverted cross iced-out Blood-farmer, two in your face Get erased, lights out...

Spikes out for dishrags, keep 'em on the hip like shitbags You don't want it fag You're left in the bubble covered, we'll shoot up fair Stay bent, like breathing rubber So be advised Lucifer's rising the invocation of my demon brother...

Splattered in blood, lather my thought patterns with drugs Morbid visions of cadavers ravaged by maggots and bugs Beetles crawling out of your eyes sockets Pus pouring out of your mouth on top of dry vomit Billions of body bags, blood-drenched battlefields Big butcher knives, you fucking faggots You get your fucking face erased from your cabbage...

Tangled and gored, the top half of your body hangin' off the door Spasm and splash your organs across the floor Its death, when the slug hit the bullet-proof vest that I took from the policeman after I blew off his head We Knights of Satan serving Satan's sadists God is an atheist You fucking idiots, your bitches give brain to us Save yourself at the altar of sacrifice We criminally insane, escape from Belle Vue Sniffin' on cocaine Don't even try it, its Ill Bill, the gourmet of violence Donate my brain to science, vacation insane-asylums...

Come one come all to my Carnival of Carnage Where I'll... slice and dice and peel off your shell like an orange I'm too precise not to be nice I nail you like Christ you'll pay twice the price I put brains on ice For preparation prepare for the separation Of your foundation so come get your frown basted In hot-sauce I'll roast ya like hotdogs on an open fire I'm a trig like Meyer But don't admire the entire picture cause I'll hang you like a fixture So when you enter the mixture Use extreme caution, because it only takes one portion To perform an abortion with the steel that I force in You feel lost when you get tossed in the bottomless gorge The heroin-horde got guns and swords swords swords swords...

Anniversary?

This user has been on ED for
13 years and 7 months.

Mr Jonzz (Created on 27 May 2011 at 02:16)

Guess I missed it LOL... - Mr Jonzz 16:40, 1 June 2012 (EDT)

EDiting

MY NIGGA...
Hey, Mr Jonzz/Archive1, I saw what you did creating your own Approve template and then going on to approve yourself for doing so.
Keep up the good work faggot!

FanClub

01:04 <%Andres> I
01:04 <%Andres> HATE
01:04 <%Andres> THIS
01:04 <%Andres> JONZ

	“	ok how do i start something new so i can stress my displease	„
	—Casplat 03:44, 19 July 2012 (EDT)

	“	If you want to do something about this, go to the site and start erasing the crap posts (on the Mariozplaze article) and sending Zaiger, Hipcrime, Andrés, Mike the Great, and finally, Mr. Jonzz, hate mail about what they did! Let me know about what you did in a PM! (Note: I didn't do MOST of what they said I did!)	„
	—User:Mariozplaze on Jewtube

fap-fap-fap

I love her, I love her hair;
I love her in her underwear...
I love her eyes, I love her nose;
I want to tear her panty-hose,
Then rape her 'til she bleeds.
Slut.

Gliding down the corridor,
My new true love... my crippled whore.

Currently my favourite image on Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-penetrative_sex#Types_of_non-penetrative_sexual_activity

LOL TITWANK!

	“	I love fucking, straight up. If you don't love fucking you're probably a homo...	„
	—Necro

                                                  

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                      ;+##############;,`          

                      .+;..,,......`

Elderly Nigger Appreciation

	“	This world... is going up in flames and nobody wanna take the blame... Don’t tell me... how to live my life... when you... never felt the pain...	„
	—Charles Bradley

GUSTA

	“	I got an attitude as thick as a convict's Bomb ticks, my heart beats as I tap out some hard shit Watch this, the Martian that you didn't think could do break through with an edit that'll rock your whole crew Thought you knew; I ain't no punk or no pooh-butt Step to me? The cops are still diggin' niggers up...	„

2ndBirthday

Registration time:02:16, 27 May 2011

hb2me!

Gutterballs

KYF

Mutilation

Mutilate the beat like a bear mutilating meat
Shoot you with a .38 in the face, too late to bleed
Lacerate, never procrastinate with beef
Decapitate any rapper that hate on the thieves
Please, I'm more street than your whole fleet
Police lock you up, you're fucked till your asshole bleeds
Plus some chubby Clubber Lang-lookin' motherfucker named Bubba
Gang-bangin' you with no rubber
You bleed like hemo', chop you like Premo
Pop your mop-top off, emo like you got chemo
Blast a burner like Dillinger, brown Derringer
Vern Schillinger, brain hemorrage'll
Turn to gelatin, bird skeleton
Charcoal black, melanin
Spermin' in Helen Keller women
Schizophrenic with the most elegant etiquette
Till I flip like a predicate felon
Somebody get a medic...

The End...

User:Mr Jonzz/Archive1

Contents

Things to Maek and Do!

Whut?

Halloween Necro-Run 2011

The Teachings of Sir Hilary de-Ramäkat

Plans for 2012

The Great Wikipedia SOPA Shutdown

My bid for GLORY!

I can haz Sig?

Punishment Wank

Happy Easter Faggots!

Archivin'...

GPKFTW!

Go easy bro'...

The O.C.

Musical Appreciation

Anniversary?

EDiting

FanClub

fap-fap-fap

Currently my favourite image on Wikipedia

Elderly Nigger Appreciation

GUSTA

2ndBirthday

Gutterballs

KYF

Mutilation

The End...

Navigation menu

User:Mr Jonzz/Archive1

Things to Maek and Do!

Whut?

Halloween Necro-Run 2011

The Teachings of Sir Hilary de-Ramäkat

Plans for 2012

The Great Wikipedia SOPA Shutdown

My bid for GLORY!

I can haz Sig?

Punishment Wank

Happy Easter Faggots!

Archivin'...

GPKFTW!

Go easy bro'...

The O.C.

Musical Appreciation

Anniversary?

EDiting

FanClub

fap-fap-fap

Currently my favourite image on Wikipedia

Elderly Nigger Appreciation

GUSTA

2ndBirthday

Gutterballs

KYF

Mutilation

The End...

Navigation menu

Search