MySpace Trolls

This country is a WARZONE — There are profound lulz to be had, if anyone survives to report it. Fingers crossed for further drama.

'MySpace Trolls' (the term is used loosely) spend nearly all their time spamming MySpace groups, user profiles, and engaging in epic ineffectual faggotry whilst whining incessantly about whatever drama-laden fucktardery wafted their way on any given day. They come from a variety of backgrounds, locations, and lifestyles, but tend to engage exclusively in ineffective glory-troll circle jerks no one gives a shit about in the first place. Tandem that exists is usually typified by the self-proclaimed who have trouble getting anything done. Wins being few and far between as the majority spend their skiddie-days searching for their next e-peen extension whilst managing to fag up the MySpace wasteland with more USI than there already is.

Recently, many of the trolls have moved to Facebook.

What They Do

Spam groups and troll 16 year old emos. That's pretty much it. They "target" shitty Myspace groups, ie. bodybuilding groups, gay groups, Wiccan groups, and groups for sick fucks. Sockpuppets are common for rAIDS, and almost always get deleted by the watchful eyes of the internet police or some sort of internet humanitarian.

Some Notable Myspace Failures

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Devil's Bitch

IRL, she's a 26-year-old former hooker named Kelly Winters from Canadia. OTI, she is the queen of MySpace trolls. Her trolling often involves sexy defaults, using sockpuppets and flames. It is rumored that she stopped spamming over a year ago because her brain just couldn't comprehend the complexities of holding down the enter key for hours at a time. She was in a relationship with a former troll known as DLH, who feigned his own death to temporarily GTFO the trolling community. He has now returned, but really, no one cares.

Recently, Devil's Bitch went into retirement from pretending-to-troll-but-sucking-miserably so she could try to stop failing at parenting. This hiatus is expected to last less than three days. Now a days Devil's Bitch hangs around facebook complianing about her sex life. (which contians drug addicts, and sex offenders)Recently she fucked 10 guys but is butthurt because she found out her BF (TEXAN) cheated on her.

Facebook

DLH

DLH is the king of trolls, and has been around for a long time. His trolling has deteriorated over time, to the point of basic sockpuppet spamming.

Some argue he has completed CSIII, but most agree that he is black person. Can't say much about him. He's just there.

Theoneandonlysarj

Tyler's sockpuppet showing Sarj how it's done.

Sarj's (aka Patrick Bennett) trolling normally involves TL;DW YouTube videos all of 6 people watch and "spamming" of weak flames. He even uses an automated program to do it so he can crank out even moar fail. Sarj has a life. Most recently, Sarj got butthurt by Protoman of the MegaMafia when he made fun of Sarj's curved dick. After losing 80 pounds, now he thinks he's hot shit, showing off his flap to over weight single moms and divorced wives on failbook.

Facebook

Cujo

This guy's real name is Ron Pruett, and he is most famous for soliciting buttsecks OTI, and for being unable to distinguish the grammatical difference between the present and past tense of the word "sale." He has also admitted to, in no particular order, being extremely racist, being too fucktarded to realize he's extremely racist, cheating on his taxes, and trying to mix up random drugs in his sink under the guise of "making LSD."

He's currently married to Failor Fails, aka Rachel, who is suspected of having mild downs syndrome.

The Punisher of the New Breed of Hate

The Punisher of the New Breed of Hate is a 17-year-old pro-ana emo juggalo with Asperger's Syndrome named Joshua Frances Niebrzydowski (more liek black personzydowski, amirite??). If that and the cheesy name didn't tell you enough, this guy's best trolling attacks were along the lines of "you're gay" and "NO U". Mission: MySpace and a few of his fellow internet humanitarians contacted Niggerzydowski's school and threatened him with a lolsuit. Even the FBI was brought in. The kid literally shit his pants and almost got 2 years in prison for spamming and trolling MySpace forums, not to mention being banned from the internets at school.

The Rest of the New Breed of Hate

Nobody knows how many of these fucktards there are, but they fail miserably at everything they do (if the name didn't already give that away). Their "trolling" often consists of posting shit such as "BOW DOWN TO THE (PROFILE NAME) OF THE NEW BREED OF HATE". They have masqueraded as wrestlers, animals, and recently, even as a shemale. They often spam groups and can't come up with a simple inane flame. Not even NO U.

McKelley

He doesn't really troll much anymore, however, he gets baleeted for posting n00dz, and for being friends with the trolls.

Mr. Smith

This profile is disguised as a dog with an image macro stolen from ED. Many trolls use this alias, and share the profile for their raids.

The Rejected Prodigy

This guy's real name is Alex, and, despite his constant Bible preaching as a troll, it is suspected that he is an atheist due to his neckbeard. He's responsible for the card-like image of Devil's Bitch, and does a lot of Photoshop work. He is also known as a wigger, due to his shitty rap video. He has recently declared a war on Wicca after MySpace announced that they were considering removing "Wiccan" from the list of religions you could set on your profile, thus making the Wiccans already feel butthurt and somewhat perscuted. He now spends his time mainly having cyber sex with Devil's Bitch. She said it was the best lay she ever had, even compared to real life. Also he joined (the crew)a youtube gain on failtube after relising he was a failtroll all along. Leading by a midget clown named Trippy, (a Clown that just shits and drinks all day.) The Rejected Prodigy considers himself the father of Trollianity, and made the trolling Bible.

Sir William McTavish

This guy likes starting flame wars and moderates troll groups. He often goes after religious groups, and has been known to show cock.

Facebook

His Real Facebook

Cutter black person

Cutter may be a mole, not a troll. Screencap from M:MS.

Some argue this is a Sarj sockpuppet, but its posting style suggests otherwise. Which was later proved wrong. He's actually a fat red neck who tries to get laid with random Troll whores on facebook. It posts hate speech, uses proper grammar, and is generally less infantile in its demeanor. Just recently Cutter went to New york to meet Jj Spicowitts just so she can reject him after seeing that he was a fat middle age man who was having a middle age crisis. Retired as of 2009.

Auntie Social

Auntie Social is a female troll who is best known for starting flame wars. Some argue she is a transsexual or at least a member of pantykin.com based on her profile picture, but he/she consistently denies this.

Wan-Dum Fuk

This trorr hass exremery good Engrish and awrays uses caps lock. He normurry gets into frame wars in frorums and uses the phrase "No Tudor!" Is a reference to a Scott & Todd prank carr of the same name. (Thanks for that, Wan-Dum.) His pictua is the O RLY? owr. He is a skirred frame warria and insurts America at rist wan hunred times per account. He's a crossbrid of a trorr and an irrerret tough gai.

It's Not a Tumor!!!1

Tumor, butthurt after getting pwned. Screencap from M:MS.

This dude lives in Georgia and has the IQ of the average Georgian. He hates Mission: MySpace and gets extremely butthurt whenever he gets deleted for flashing his penis in various groups. The only thing notable about this guy is that he uses his real profile to troll - the same profile he uses for legitimate uses of MySpace.

Danny

Danny Hemachandra, a resident of Seattle and trolls the bodybuilding group as well as gay groups and posts links to shock sites. It has recently been discovered that Danny is in fact a homosexual, since he has openly admitted to enjoying Brokeback Mountain on his personal profile.

Rogue

Troll tits. She bitches about getting baleeted because she associates with the trolls, though she never actually trolls.

Lord Clean

He used to be the best troll out there on MySpace, that is, until Rob told MySpace to pwn him. Butthurt, he threw away a few final sockpuppet profiles before quitting MySpace.

Yucko

A troll in diguise as a clown. Often claims to be dead or undead. Not very persistent, just a minor nuisance. He is likely a 13-year-old boy due to his lack of maturity.

Ricky

This guy pretends to be a ninja but is a typical basement-dwelling atheist fucktard. His insults are inane flames at best and he was outed as an IRL pedo for hitting on some other troll's 16-year-old sock account. Based on his default picture, it is likely that he is also some sort of cosplay fucktard. A n00b at trolling, and he has shown no evidence of improving his technique.

Recently Ricky admitted to being a virgin at 24, providing further evidence to the idea that he likes to touch 8-year-olds in their no-nos.

Facebook

Kain

One of the original myspace trolls, Kain, whose real name is Daniel William Wharton, claimed to be hot shit while simultaneously showing no ability to form coherent sentences, use proper grammar, or utilize any form of logic. After being constantly challenged and pwned by Sarj, Kain decided to GTFO when Danielspengies discovered one of Kain's jaded ex-girlfriends. Soon after, pictures of Kain weeping in lulzy emo-like fashion were posted, and audio clips of him crying like a baby were unearthed. To this day, Kain refuses to show his face on MySpace, and instead curls up in a little ball at night, trying to pretend nothing ever happened. It is rumored he is a former member of Menudo.

Tyler

This guy is disguised as a 13-year-old wigger, and his trolling style mimics his e-fursona. He often posts regarding drugs, though the retard in his default picture obviously has no need for drugs as his reality is clearly fucked up enough as is.

Michelle

Michelle is constantly butthurt. Her meat curtains are spread wider than goatse, yet somehow she still thinks she's hawt shit. She has been driven off both facebook and myspace multiple times by danielspengies, who is currently claiming that he has a list of her relative's docs, and is not afraid to contact them all about how badly Michelle's vagina reportedly smells.

Michelle's Facebook

Megamafia

The Megamafia is a gang of Megaman character trolls. They are suspected of being one guy with multiple accounts, due to not having a life. They are shitty trolls because Megaman was a shitty game. Their method of trolling is an ultimate failtroll method of threadbombing any attempt of discussing anything but megaman which usually fails because anyone with firefox knows how to get around that. They're also fucktards who think everything is a ripoff of Megaman. They prove this not by using logic, but by posting shitty pics that were most likely made in KidPix. Basically, these guys are idiots who equate spamming with lulz, or flooding topics with shock images.

Misti

Fairly new to the myspace troll world, Misti is the result of 16 years of meth use and horrid stupdiity. This description fits her perfectly, because Misti admitted to danielspengies that she started using drugs at the age of 12, and, as a result, ended up losing her first two kids to the state of california.

Not content to be an utter deadbeat failure in real life, Misti often teams with michelle to chew cyber cud, get defensive, and otherwise throw out unfunny flames as an attempt to cover up months of butthurt.

Since April of 2007, Misti has whored herself to various MySpacers IRL, including Tyler, and is currently working on getting the entire Megamafia to run a train on her.

Others

Hasidic Jew, Smartass Whiteboy, and others (mostly fat wimmins) are frequently seen in troll groups, however, they are not notable enough to warrant their own sections.

Hasidic Jew's Facebook

Smartass Whiteboy's Facebook

Lisa's Facebook

Tamara's Facebook

Miranda's Facebook

Cheryl/"Cheese"'s Facebook

Toes 'R' Us' Facebook

BoraXiN's Facebook

The Moles

Danielspengies often goes after other trolls.

Of course, there are trolls (or people outside the troll community who happen to be in the same groups the trolls are) who report their friends to MySpace for cyberbullying during intense fits of troll's remorse. For n00dz, see the gayllery.

Mission: MySpace

A butthurt Niggerzydowski after a bunch of profiles got baleeted. Screencap from M:MS.

This guy is a troll in disguise as a homosexual internet humanitarian. His act has gone unchecked because MySpace loves internet humanitarians and anyone who tries to help them out. Danielspengies and Pure Hatred figured him out as a troll, but Rob denied it (just like his sexuality) and decided to kill 50 troll profiles in one day as retribution. This event caused epic butthurt among the trolls. In August, Rob posed as someone named Chase Colborn, with a shooped sign picture to verify his identity. "Chase" managed to pwn 37 troll profiles in one day. Rob gave up the act and turned to the dark side. He is now organizing troll "raids" on groups, primarily secks-related ones. However, he is still in the closet.

Danielspengies

There once was a whale who thought he was a pirate, but nothing more then a fail whale. This is a tale about a whale named Danielspengies, and how his failure goes down in lulz history. He dresses like a pirate on youtube, but fails miserably, looking like a huge gay virgin. His marriage is on the rocks, he can't get a job or go to school because he has bipolar problem. He joined Facebook to try and bring down Devil's Bitch's account due to butthurt. He failed at his attempt when he found out Rain wasn't Rain the entire time. Devil's Bitch's real name is Kelly Winters, and he flipped when he found out that The Rejected Prodigy was possibly related to her.

Facebook

Jude's Army

Though she was really a fake, she managed to go undercover into some troll groups, only to report them. She was equally hated as Rob/Mission: MySpace among the trolls, though she stopped reporting as many toward the end of her "career".

Drama

Since getting deleted every week isn't lulzy enough, the trolls start up drama amongst themselves, or among other users. Before he went almost out of the picture to focus on his gay porn career, Mission: MySpace was the source of most of the drama, with message and group flooding, as well as the constant threat of being deleted every day. For trolls, this was entertaining, and even became a game - who would survive the internet humanitarian hunts the longest. However, the troll hunting stopped almost entirely when Jude's Army was revealed as a fake.

How it starts

Inter-troll drama starts include whenever a troll gets deleted or when a troll group gets raped. The trolls who get deleted try to figure out who got them deleted, but it always devolves into a tangled mess of NO Us.