NeoGAF

NeoGAF admin: Giant racist

NeoGAF is a fail site started by the 40-Year old virgins who like video games. It is known for its Excellent mods and Profound Discussion. The site is plagued by constant GIF spamming and ridiculously esoteric "inside jokes". Its self-obsessed users are referred to as simply NeoFAGs and are a collection of would-be trolls who talk shit one second and then bend over and take it up the ass from the admins the next when they get forced to pretend to be femminists or get banned because they hate SJWs but needs their money.

The entire site is a shithole dictatorship created to make its owner money by promoting video games on it because he was paid for it. Due to this anything from saying a Sony game is bad to telling one of the mods he is wrong is grounds for a ban. Since it only lets you make an account with a paid Email, if you want to troll them, post nothing so you don't get banned and then dox everyone and spam the entire forum with it while the mods are asleep so that no one can stop you.

In recent years the site has become a hunting grounds for pedophiles.

The Owner: Tyler Malka

Tyler "EviLore" Malka is the sad loser who runs this site. He has been implicated in several dramas including leaking revenge porn and facepainting it, making racist posts, calling Leigh Alexander names before changing his mind and going SJW for pageviews and shoving his fat fingers up some woman's ass because he bought her a drink so now she owes him sex.

Tyler is a giant nerd, desperately trying too hard to impress his internet friends into thinking he is cool and banning anyone on NeoGAF who say that he isn't. But despite making a bunch of money from shilling Sony on his site, he still can't find one woman to sleep with him and spends most days doing group activities alone so that he can take pictures of it and later post about it on NeoGAF.

Going to NeoGAF: A Primer

Hey there honest citizen. So you found the internet. I'm sure you'll be wanting to visit internet based locations relevant to your interests. If you like purchasing items, you may try eBay, the internet auction site. If you like watching entertaining videos, you may want to peruse Youtube. But if you interests are focused on the new phenomena of "gaming", then you should try ~~IGN~~ ~~Gamespot~~ ~~Gamespy~~ ~~Engadget~~ ~~Joystiq~~ NeoGAF.

Hold on there Mr. Anxious. You're only getting started at this whole "world wide web" thing, so you need to learn a few rules before you go to sites like NeoGAF.

Step 1: Buy an Email

Though many alternatives that are free exist, you have to pay to get into NeoGAF. I hear your pleas. Enough of this "I already paid money for the internet, now the email too? Why can't this 'internet' thing make like evolution and take a hike?". Well, NeoGAF is a quality site. Think of it as paying to post there. This is to prevent the harmful cancer of trolls from having their way with this site.

Step 2: Learn the Lingo

At NeoGAF, you'll experience all kinds of people. As such a "lingua franca" begins to emerge. Terms like LTTP (Late to The Party) and IIRC (If I Recall Correctly) are used profusely in NeoGAF, and it is essential that you use terms like these alot. Some other ones to spam is GAF>(Something here)>GAF and "Ponyfying" your avatar with the courageous visages of the MLP ponies.

Step 3: Write "GAF" correctly

NeoGAF is not written as Neogaf, neogaf, NeoGaf, Neo Gaf, or especially not Neo gaf (This is blasphemy to the GAFFERs). Do this wrong and you will be banned.

Step 4: Making GIFs

At NeoGAF, Graphic Interchange Format or "GIF" based Animations is important. You may have to upgrade your modem to support it. Worry not, though, as GAFFERs feel that GIFs are very important, and now you must too. To make one, get a series of images and put them into an image editing program like GIMP and GIF away. Don't give me that look. GIFs are very funny and important, and are not just people's stupid avatars. Get GIFing.

Step 5: Repetition is Key

In NeoGAF threads, make sure to repeat a similar message over and over again. Also, unless a message has been quoted 1000 times, if someone clarifies something, ignore it. It's not important enough to read.

So honest citizen, you now know how to use the internets. You can now go to sites like NeoGAF and not feel afraid. Happy surfing citizen.

The Rules

The mods at NeoGAF are like the Jews of the internet (Jews can't use the internet normally. Their claws are too big for the keyboard) and they have many a rules:

No going to Joystik
Also, no going to Go Nintendo, Sp00ng, VG Charts, Petition Online, ~~Out of the Gulag~~ Imageshack and never go to Opa-Ages.
No fraternizing with members of the opposite sex.
No shooping or whooping. Srsly.
No Rickrolling
No ~~Raping~~ Saying "Rape Time"
No CATURDAY WTF??!?!?
No Racism (Towards the inferior races like Jews, Spics, or Niggers. Hating white people is okay).
No Lolicon, because it instantly summons the SJWs to battle over the legal rights of fictional characters and the mods are too lazy to properly tame both sides of the ensuing flame wars.
And, most important, never disagree with one of the mods.

The biggest rule of GAF is that the mods are always right and doing so much as asking something like "wtf is this thread?" in a topic started by a mod about his support of pedophilia will get you banned right away... That's not an overly specific example, that's something that actually happened.

And the rules of NeoGAF don't stop at NeoGAF. They follow you everywhere. Like some guy who was banned for viral marketing a Professor Layton game on Twitter that he had no financial stake in. And despite the guy creating tons of lulz on GAF, they threw him to the dogs (THOUGH IN THE END THE GUY GOT HIS OWN WEBSITE AND WENT TO E3 while the guy who owns the site could even get a fucking innvetation.

NeoGAF bans

Reasons for ban from NeoGAF: Posting on NeoGAF About missing Pics

Banned for saying people get banned for saying people get banned a lot.
Banned for being a misogynist who believes in conspiracy theories by a the misogynist, conspirator admin.
Everybody getting banned!
Banned for not meeting NeoGAF "standards"

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Banned for no reason to intimidate other members
Banned by mod making a big deal out of him saying people today make a big deal out of nothing

Members

After the cleansing of every rational individual that used to post there by feminazi mods, the site is now full of autistic shut-ins who go on social justice crusades and pretend to be better than everyone else judging them using unrealistic standards that make no sense in real life and their own admin can't hold himself up to because he's literally a racist and sexual harrasser. Opa-Ages is frequently hosting neoGAF special olympics threads to decide on the biggest awkward aspie of the month. These are actually photos they chose and posted of themselves in the FaceGAF thread which means they were the best they could find. Yes, these people look like that at their best.

Members of NeoFAG: Pedophiles in Denial?

Posted on Ausgust, the third, 2012, RurouniZel, a roneryfag and a shittyFan, of 2D Sonic games, insisted with a TL;DR message that NeoFags who enjoy the Atelier series were being Accused of being pedophiles without giving examples of said accusations. It seems a those accusations came up on previous threads and the result was a garbage circlejerk of people arguing over the pros and cons of pedophilia.

This may seem like an isolated incident, but it fucking isn't. Apparently, NeoGAF is a safe-haven for child molesters. Various thread about kiddie fiddling have been posted over the years and a number of real-life pedobears operate fairly openly on a forum filled with children. One particular thread has been saved by TheRalphRetort where the entire forum, including one of the moderators (and not the one quoted above... Yes, there are several pedo-sympathizer mods on GAF) rushed to the defense of someone who admitted to being sexually attracted to little kids.

Not only did they defend the potential statutory rapist, the defended a literal one when at least one user admitted to being an active pedophile.

And what did the mods do to people who criticized these NAMBLA members? They banned them.

That's right, on NeoGAF, a forum filled with kids, saying that pedophilia is bad is a bannable offense.

FeoNAG

One day on GAF, a discovery was found. Another site called NAG had been literally copying everything they did. Every fucking thing. ToS, layout, announcements, tags, even those little messages under the username. Not believe me? Look for yourself.

But it gets better. Or worse. However you look at it. This guy who runs NAG is from africa named Miktar. He's also a dragon furry. No,seriously. Also, he admits he faps to dinos in the linked thread and says he does it as a hobby and not for a living (Fursecution would prevent such a market from developing). It gets lulzier here:

	“	I like the curve	„
	—Miktar, on Dragon Penises.

More plot twists! It turns out Miktar's real name is Ed Kock and his husband shows up on NeoGAF to defend him. This is srs bsns. Also, a pic of a naked man humping an inflatable dragon was found on his FTP. Seriously.

Despite all of this, I think we can all agree the site is still 1,000,000 better than NeoGAF. They also have Signatures (CLEARLY SUPERIOR!!!!!!)

How To Troll NAG

NAG is easy trolling material and can be exploited by the average EDiot as it takes disposable email and has a fanbase of idiots (Not unlike GAF). Just go on NAG and talk about the furries and niggers that go there. Also the fanbase is cultish towards their dragon leader, so fucking with him will start a shitstorm.

Also, if that fails, you can always use their IRC at ~~nigger.furfag.gay~~ sa.shadowfire.org for massive win. NAG uses b's memes alot for some strange reason. Furries are not welcome at /b/. Just make sure to go there and spam this image from his FTP non-stop.