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One Direction

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This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT HARRY STYLES HAS A WIG!!!!!!1
One Direction =/= The Beatles
Also notice Harry's pedo-smile.
One Direction in the future: Converting to Jewdaism
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
DUH!
One Direction now gone trve kvlt anz froztb1tten!

One Direction (or One Erection) is a boy-band of 5 liek t0t4lly hawt 'n sexzzy Britfags who went successfully fucked millions of cunts including your mom, your girlfriend and even your grandma since they released that song "What Makes You Hawt Enough to Give Me an Erection". After producing typical emo-pop for 16 year old girls, many cunts thought it was for them, despite it was for boys, as the boy-band were deciding to experiment like typical emos they are. They also think they are the next Beatles, which is horrifically inaccurate to say the least.

Summary

Forming in the best place to enjoy some tea, they signed to Simon Says Coward's record label called Psycho Records and tried to audition to appear in the X Factor to show off their erections from touching each other. Since they had small cocks, Zayn was the only who had an erection big enough, possibly because he was of a little Paki descent, which is close to a nigger. There was only one erection in the audition, so they ended up failing anyways. After this, they made their debut album and gave so many fangirls moist vaginas (which is the female erection) and then got their song "What Makes You Hawt Enough to Give Me an Erection", but it was changed to "What Makes You Beautiful" since the original song title was sexual and the fascist leaders of Britain and Americunt couldn't allow it.

One Direction Lyrics

   
“ 		 
Check out my hair, isn’t it cute

I use a really expensive shampoo We’re throwing rocks and acting tough Even though we’re all wearing tons of makeup Our managers say we have to act straight Even though we are all gay

We’re at the beach acting like we’re hunting for chicks But secretly what we’re looking for is some dick

Shut the hell up guys and get back in the closet They can’t know oh oh That you are not hetero Snorting bath salts and jumping in place Look at that hot guy I think we should eat his face Get away you psychos I have some mase Damn that blow oh oh’s Bet that you taste beautiful No no! Get lost you drugged up homos!

We’re playing sports so we seem staight. Our manager said that’s a good way ah ah

You need the balls for record sales So you better be kicking that ball all damn day

Oh what’s the point Everyone can see it It’s obvious we like penis

We are five gay British boys skipping in the waves All we want to do is watch Magic Mike all day

Let’s all get in the water and masturbate

I’m gonna think about you I’m gonna think about you too

God damn it guys stop being gay 99% of your fans are straight ladies If they find out you're queers our sales will go away

Oh fine (ine) (ine) we’ll save it for another time

There’s a girl go and act like straight guys.

Na na na na na na na na na na

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

Hey girl, I’m suppose to act like you get us off But looking at you makes our penis go ever soft

Oh my gosh, I think I see David Hasselhoff

Hey, boys, it’s the Hoff I’ve been on this beach since Baywatch and I have been watching you all this time I gotta say that you’re all looking mighty fine Why don’t we head back to my place and have some wine

Ya, lets go that sounds so magical

No, no, no, do not go over to his home.

Whoa whoa whoa these boys are mine they’re beautiful.

Are you serious?

Are you kidding me…?
 

„
  		 

—What Makes You Beautiful

   
“ 		 
Oh I’m just gonna pretend that I’m riding this bike

To make all you teen girls wet with delight Do you feel that downstairs, that downstairs? That’s us taking your dad’s cash

Oh I know I know I know that this looks kinda strange But I just feel right when I’m rubbing on Zayn please don’t tell Taylor Swift, she’d get pissed Even though I dumped that bitch

Guys this is bullshit, why am I riding in this? It’s your punishment For what? For shaving your head! Now let’s all go

To prison so we can dance with locked up men and then we can pretend that we play instruments, by posing with them in stupid pics

Why don’t we take off all our clothes And play a game of drop the soap!

Hell yeah!

I will take the photographs!

Let’s drop our pants!

And take these 5 soap bars!

Oh maybe maybe if we all pretend we can ski It will make this video less crappy This is ridiculous, diculous Who is directing this shit?

Oh, I’m only an Irish guy singing in this song That’s why I dance like a gay leprechaun Also I play guitar, play guitar Did ya know I play guitar?

Oh holy crap Taylor Swift is on our ass She’s got a GAT

Ahhhhh!

She’s gonna kill Harry and then write a hit song About how you did her so wrong

*sobbing* I knew you were trouble, Harry! Can’t you see you belong with me?

Hey maybe I can kill the bitch Using my secret nipple trick

Go for it

OMG! what the hell is that?!

He just made her crash With my 4 nipples!

Harry has 4 nipples Harry has 4 nipples They made Taylor drive off the road

To celebrate let’s all dress up as

Sea men Because we all love sea men we mean jizz

I’m gonna give Harry a French kiss I am gonna suck on my own dick Taylor was just a cover up To hide the fact I like man butt

What did you say

How the hell is she still alive

I will never die! Now let me kill you!
 

„
  		 

—Kill You - a song released in January 2013, shortly after Harry broke up with Taylor Swift. Adam Lanza would be relieved. But he's dead anyways.

   
“ 		 
We’re impossibly cute

In tight trousers and suits Tabloids say that we’re gay And gay horses eat hay (Hey)

These blokes aren’t so bad Cheeky British lads Damn this song is mad catchy Hey Todd, don’t you agree?

Something’s wrong with Mark now Why does he have skinny pink jeans on? (They’re Salmon) Because he’s into One Direction now I just like this one song

So get off, get off, get off my case Quit staring at that kid face Look I don’t know what the big deal is If I like this one song And the rest of their album Screw you guys, I got a concert to go to

Hey girls for this next tune We’ll need some help from you Who knows all of the words

Ooo – I know them for sure

Sorry, but you're too old And you just knocked over several kids Maybe he could buy us beer though And tell us what that one thing is

Ok, old man come join our boy band Great When do we run in the sand Put on this tie and this emo wig And let's do that leg thing

Oh, I hate to be a party poopper But this song sounds familiar Oh wait you guys, I know what it is It’s I want it that way

Cause I want it that way

Oh no! He cracked the code He remembers cause he’s old You must die for what you know

You've got those wand things

You English dicks get off of my friend You cunts brainwashed my husband

Oh, before you kill us, check out this thing Oh god that is disgusting I don’t even want to know what that is I think it’s that one thing Thanks Todd, and Stasia, you saved my life. Why was I into those guys? But there's this other band that I dig They’re called: THE WANTED

Todd, you'd like The WANTED?

Cool
 

„
  		 

—One Thing

   
“ 		 
This song was designed to make you feel lovely

By pointing out the flaws on your fat body And pretending that we love then to make you feel pretty But clearly you’re ugly

“WAIT WHAT?”

You know nobody loves those gross wrinkles by your eyes Your huge thighs are hideous and your stomach is super-sized You have to buy two seats on airlines whenever you fly But that’s why you’re special to me

“OH WAIT THIS IS STARTING TO GET A LITTLE WEIRD!”

Your double chin and stretch marks make you stand out I play guitar Yes it’s true That’s you – you are huge And look like a dude But that’s why we love you

“YOU REALLY LOVE ME!”

Did we mention that you’re fat.

Hey, can I sing about Harry for a second?

Sure.

I know everything about my pal Harry. Like how he has a mole on the shaft on his mate And those daily masturbations that we do so secretly Are what make my life complete.

Back to the things we like about that fat ape. Both of your nipples look like pancakes Your bush hair is huge like Don King’s dew

But you’re perfect to me

“UM, I’M CONFUSED.”

What we’re basically saying. Is your hideous.

You have zits Hairy tits And your lips smell like bad fish But we love that gross shit.

We’re not talking about the lips on your mouth Who want’s to suck my dick?

I will – never say never!

What the hell Justin?! This isn’t your fuckin video! Oh well, I was just answering the question, dawg!

I got Louie for that! Yeah!! Oh!

Screw you guys!

Now where were we boys!

Ooo I let your little thing slip out of my mouth!

I’m sorry! No, don’t be. It’s tiny Hey same with me! And me. And me And me.

We all have little things.

Ok, great.

Can you guys help me out? I kind of suck with these guitars.


 

„
  		 

—Little Things - A song dedicated to their cock sizes.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Ones Infected With the Direction Erection Disease

Typical One Direction fangirl

   
“ 		 
I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING FAMILY YOU MOTHERFUCKER STOP MAKING FUN OF ONE DIRECTION YOU FUCKING FAGGOT DRESSING UP AS WOMEN YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH FUCKING ASSHOLE PIG FUCKER SHIT FACED MOTHERFUCKER, YOU ARE JUST FUCKING JEALOUS OF THEIR FUCKING TALENT YOU HACK MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE BITCH MOTHERFUCKER!!! I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE IN A CAR CRASH AND END UP DYING HOLDING YOUR OWN ENTRAILS IN ONE HAND AND YOUR WIFE/BOYFRIENDS ENTRAILS IN THE OTHER!!!!! I HOPE IT FUCKING HURTS!!!
  		„
  		 

—One Direction fangirl's regular reaction to trolls

Trolling the Fans

One Direction does a wonderful job at telling preteen girls the same crap that they've been preached to by Spongebob for years.

Here is a bunch of ways to troll the fans, who all have the direction erection disease. These can be ways to also cure them.

  • Talk shit about One Direction
  • Say that The Wanted are much better
  • Sing "What Makes You Beautiful" in class and get the lyrics wrong
  • Hack 1D's website and replace all US tour dates with Africa
  • Spell "Niall" as "Neil"
  • When getting autographs from 1D, skip Liam
  • Start a rumor saying Harry wears a wig
  • Steal Harry's cat
  • Say that this is Zayn's favorite song
  • Say "WHAT? WHERE IS IT? WHAT DIRECTION IS IT?!?!?!"
  • Send Zayn a dog with fleas
  • Interrupt a 1D club meeting telling them their funding went to the Hardcore for the Poor club
  • Show them this article
  • Make memes of Zayn's ear gauges
  • Start a "kill your cat for Harry" trend on Twitter. Bieber's hair ain't got nothing for dead cats!
  • Put "hair dissolving cream" in Harry's shampoo bottle(s)
  • Steal Louis' pants
  • Say that you're a fan of The Wanted
  • Say that Zayn is a terrorist or Paki
  • Say that the members are all a bunch of emo faggots
  • Start a raid on their videos on YouTube by spamming it and bashing the boy-band
  • Say that the members are all ugly
  • Pronounce the boy-band's name as One Erection
  • Show them this picture
  • Ask them if the boy-band are 5 Justin Biebers
  • Instead of saying "Zayn Malik", say "Zayn Hussein"
  • Make fun of "Larry Shippers"
  • Go onto fansites and forums and compare them to Nine Inch Nails

Videos

You learn something new everyday.

Harry catches Carly's AIDS on iCarly

Harry gets hit in the balls by a shoe. Wait, does he have balls?

What Makes You Beautiful

Live While We're Young

A song they released in January 2013. Prepare to hear the song "Kill You".

One Thing

Little Things - A song dedicated to their cock sizes

Fact
Zayn did 9/11 and the 1998 US Embassies bombing

Previous Video | Next Video

Members

Discography

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

One Direction is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

One Direction is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
 One Direction is part of a series on
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[BleedCut]
Your best friend.
Your best friend.
One Direction
is part of a series on

The British
The Pride of Britain [-+]
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]
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