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Killdozer
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This article needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it. |
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On June 4, 2004, a man in Granby, Colorado exacted his revenge against the local government and a concrete factory being built adjacent to his muffler shop. That man was Marvin Heemeyer, and his revenge was the Killdozer. Deep inside the Killcave, he spent several months armoring the Killdozer with concrete and steel armor. He also installed several video cameras so he could see outside without risking being hit by pissed off cops. For several hours on that day, many on the Internet followed closely the rampage of this man as his armor-plated bulldozer destroyed the homes and businesses of those who had wronged him.
Granby is a town in the middle of the bumfuck Rocky Mountains whose whole population consists of 10 houses, 4 feral cats and a handful of sheep. Therefore, Heemeyer's conquest was almost a total success. Sadly, he ran over 2 of the feral cats. The military were even considering airlifting in small tank weaponry, until they learned the city they'd be defending was Granby, so the city was conceded to Killdozer.
One would think someone like this was either insane or evil, but he is hailed as a hero by many, as even though his trail of destruction left no one harmed in its wake. Goons in particular loved him and his actions, and reported on the events in a huge thread and several websites devoted to the Killdozer.
Heemeyer died as a result of Arnold Swarchenegger taking a big drill and drilling him, the only fatality to come from the situation. It took police two days to gain entrance to the steel/concrete-armored bulldozer. In the spring of 2005 Granby officials dismantled Killdozer and sold the parts to several different scrapyards, afraid fans would reassemble the pieces and go nuts on their own. Which is a shame cuz that would have looked totally kick ass on my lawn.
— Ted Wang, Mayor of Granby, Colorado | ||
See Also
- EPIC LULZ
- Rachel Corrie
- Tony Stark
- Trolling IRL
- Killdozer (band) Obviously influenced by the Killdozer itself, listening to Killdozer completely demolish such beloved American classics as American Pie on their For Ladies Only album can result in irreparable brain ruin.
- Baneblade
External Links
- News footage of Heemeyer trolling Granby with the Killdozer.
- Something Awful's Killdozer thread (archives access required)
- Thread after Heemeyer's death. (archives access required)
