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Uncle
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Uncle (AKA booty destroyer, booty raider, rapist, child predator, child booty enthusiast) is that one member of your family who has an undeniable attraction to underage bootycheeks. Uncle will typically raid the bootyholes of his own nephews and nieces because he doesn’t have a woman to fuck. The reason he has no woman is because he is a creep and a loser who will eventually die alone. In order to satisfy his manhood and enforce his domination, he resorts to young family members because of their vulnerability. This is the closest he’ll ever get to having a legitimate sex life. Uncle’s victims would usually make memes out of their sexual encounters and, to be frank, give the internet lots of lulz.
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Uncle’s Preference
Uncle’s sexual orientation is unclear due to the fact that Uncle will raid any fresh bootycheeks he can find. Though it is possible that he could be pedosexual since his attraction to children is pretty evident. Of course, Uncle is very selective when it comes to his victims. Uncle will not necessarily engage with biologically unrelated children, he will go for nephews and/or nieces because incest is WINcest. It is also likely that Uncle fucked his sister which explains why you have visibly retarded cousins. It’s not surprising if Uncle has engaged in sexual intercourse with his sister if he is a redneck. Regardless of whether you’re male or female, prepare your anus for Uncle is always hungry and on the prowl like a hungry wolf ready to tear a sheep apart. He will tear your asshole apart with his dingly dangly ding dong and that is not a very fun experience for your virgin bootyhole.
Uncle’s Traits
Besides his insatiable appetite for incestual pedophilic sex, Uncle is often associated with the typical redneck. Like the redneck, Uncle is unsophisticated and unintelligent. It’s also likely that Uncle comes from the Southern States, the cesspool of the bigger cesspool called the United States, since this is where all the fucked up yeehaw stuff happens. In addition to his lack of sophistication and intelligence, Uncle lacks the ability to speak proper English due to being severely under-educated and heavily impacted by being an inbred. Uncle is also a hardcore alcoholic and drug addict with a great obsession with guns and American patriotism which fuels his racism and xenophobia towards blacks, Mexicans, and people who are immigrants. It is funny because Uncle sits on stolen land built on racism and genocide of the injuns. Uncle hates faggots due to his conservative ideology but is also very hypocritical because he fucks children. Uncle tends to think high and mighty of himself when he really is that one person who fucking sucks.
How to Protect Yourself
- Fuck him first
- Pepper spray
- Call the PoPo
- Put sharp stuff in your asshole so Uncle suffers (proceed with caution)
- Cut his dick off then shove it in his face
- Sacrifice your siblings
- Eat chilli then shit on his dick with your flaming hot diarrhea
- Set him on fire before he breeds
- Shoot him and hang his head on a frame as if it were your prized possession from hunting season
How to Spot an Uncle
Any uncle you have may be a potential threat but to spot a TRUE uncle, he must be hateful, backwards, self-centered, inbred, obsessed with guns, cars, and American patriotism, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, uneducated, filthy, alcoholic, a druggie, unsophisticated, sexually aroused by fresh humans, and have retarded speech. Also look out for the yeehaw stuff such as cowboy hats, the confederate flag, hay, and a shotgun. Remember. The more traits your uncle possesses from this list, the more likely your ass gets raped.
See also
