Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Jürgen Conings

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>TabbyGarf at 23:08, 11 January 2023. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigationJump to search
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Jürgen Conings
Nationality: Flemish  
High Score 0 Kills
Style Hide and seek
An Hero? Yes
Title Caporal
Motive COVID-19
Aliases


  • Belgian Rambo
  • Waldo
  • Aryan Rebel


   
 
You have trained me to become the person I am today, now I'm going to use it against you.
Jullie hebben me getraind om te worden wie ik ben, ik ga dat nu tegen jullie gebruiken.

 

 
 

—Jürgen, on his third goodbye letter addressed to the Belgian Army

Jürgen Conings was an alt-right Belgian Air Force corporal (previously a security guard) who tried to steal the world record for "best Hide and Seek player" in Europe, first place being Anne Frank. However he couldn't wait much longer and ended the game after 2 weeks of hiding. Jürgen was the subject to a relentless manhunt by a total of 400 Belgian units, helped by German, Dutch and Luxembourger seeking squads. Much like Chris Dorner he was doing his best to not get cornered.

He was a sniper elite that got "demoted" to the rank of armorer and firing instructor, which meant he got the keys of a fucking weapon depot after being put on a potential alt-right terrorist watchlist, proving that the Belgian Army is directed by competent and smart people.

Before the Game

Before he went hiding, he left a manifesto in the form of three letters destined to the State, to the Virologists, and to the Army. In his manifesto, he threatened to attack the current regime and virologists.

He left home, went off the grid, and hid under the cloak of the night on Monday, May 17th 2020. Shortly after, he was sighted around the house of the virologist Marc van Ranst for 2 hours.

 

Game Timeline

The search begun the next day, the seekers are Team Special Unit and Team Limburg Police. A report indicated that he was probably armed.

May

An abandoned Audi was found containing FOUR ANTI-TANK ROCKET LAUNCHERS, weapons with ammo ; closing the nearby mosques and parks.

Team Germany, Team Luxemburg and Team Netherlands joined the Seekers team. Totaling the number of players to ≈600 seekers.

Gunshots were heard at the Haute Campine park:

A federal case has been opened for "attempted murder and forbidden detention of weapon in a terrorist context".

  • Later, the army also did a separate case to investigate, but they fucked up and now another group was investigating the army's case

It has been proven that the aforementioned Audi got trapped with a grenade trap. Also, they started pulling out the tanks. Man, it would be useful if he had some kind of projectile launcher to help him...

His house got raided and it has been discovered that he left his army decorations on his parents' grave.
Nothing else happened much except that he's officially searched by Interpol and that the park reopened.

Around 200 people marched in support of the fugitive, saying there was "no right to kill".
Someone snitched by saying they saw Jurgen at the Brussels-North Station, causing a closure of the railway traffic nearby: the search happened and our hero was nowhere to be found.
A french fag ex-mil tried to imitate our Belgian Rambo but couldn't stay hidden for more than 5 days lol

Facebook started closing Jürgen's account and the support groups for "supporting a terrorist".

June

Nothing much happened yet, no trace of him even though they did search the entire east of the Limburg province.
They discovered they are an actual member of the Vlaams Belang political party.

On June 20, a politician smelled an awful stench and it turns out it was Jurgen's corpse, and he apparently an hero'd three weeks prior.

Game Over

Online

After he went missing, people showed their support for Conings using the #jurgenconings and #jurgenlivesmatter hashtags on Twitter and including the group "Als 1 achter Jürgen" (United for Jürgen) on Facebook, the latter being administrated by the VP of the Flemish equivalent of the Hitler Youth (Vlaams Belang Jongeren Lier)

Statistics

Graded score
Kills: 01/20 An Hero but he couldnt kill anyone on his hitlist
Accuracy: 10/20 He surely couldn't miss killing himself lol
Style: 3/20 Good hiding spots, proving the incompetence of the Belgian Army
Butthurt: 13/20 Causes an anti-COVID outrage and the closing of mosques and entire parks
Bonus: 08/20 An hero + edgy manifestos. Made a virologist hide away.
Total score: 27/100 (E)*

See full ranking

Loadout
Primary   FN P90 High-fire, low recoil, reliable weapon using 5.7mm.
Bonus Damage: 5.7mm ammunition is able to pierce through Kevlar.
Secondary   FN Five-seveN Complimentary 5.7mm pistol. Small but dangerous.
Loadout Combo: Both Primary and Secondary share the same ammunition. No hassle.
Special   Anti-Tank Rocket Launcher Portable, reusable, unguided, shoulder-launched, anti-tank rocket-propelled grenade launcher.
Kabooms ensues.
Perk 1   Lightweight Pro Move 7% faster.
Pro: Quicker aiming after sprinting.
Perk 2   Dead Slience Quieter movement.
Halves Recon duration.
Perk 3   Sleight of Hand Pro Faster reloading.
Pro: Faster aiming down sight.

See Also

Wanted Level:

           

 

Interpol

Jürgen Conings
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPod][Xbox]
Died Alone

1-14 Jakarta AttacksAaron BushnellAaron HowardAaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAkbarzhon DzhalilovAlan TuringAlexis PilkingtonAmanda ToddAn HaloAndrea PignaniAndrew KehoeAndrew KoenigAnthony WarnerAnton Lundin PetterssonArtyom KazantsevAsa CoonAugust AmesBen VoddenBob8466Brandon CleggBrandon CrispBrandon HoleBrenda WilliamsBrigit GonzalezBroadt LedetBruce PardoBubba CopelandBudd DwyerCandyjunkieArcan CetinCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChloe SagalChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterChris Harper-MercerCho Seung-HuiClay DukeCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDerrick BirdDevin KelleyDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldElliot RodgerEmma JonesEric HarrisEtikaEuler GrandolphoGeorge HennardGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonIsrael KeyesJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJewWarioJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJohn HouserJonathan Kendrick LewisJosé BettsJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseLowtaxMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMarvin HeemeyerMcSkilletMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMia JaninMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNathaniel BerhowNghtmrchld26Nikita LytkinNikki CatsourasOldDirtyBtardOtoya YamaguchiPanya KhamrabPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPetri GerdtPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRina PalenkovaRobert CardRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterSadie DavilaSalman AbediSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephanie Michelle BrownStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStephen PaddockStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVerne TroyerWilliam Atchison

Failures

Adf-fuensalidaAhuviya HarelAlek MinassianAmber ButtrumAmy BishopAnton BichivinAriana RaykottoAudrey HaleAydin PaladinBernie MadoffBrandon ClarkBrenda SpencerBrian ClydeBrian ConnorsBrook HigginsCampo DelgadoCharles ZieseCobanermani456Colonel McBadassCrystal ShinkleDavid GrayDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann RoofGabe ParkerGeorge StinneyHugo JacksonIlnaz GalyavievImma-The-DeerJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyJamethJarrod RamosJeffree MoonJessica EvertJonathan RossJoseph CampJustin-anonLindsay SouvannarathLolo FerrariMamoru TakumaMartin BryantMary BellMichael CarnealMichael GimsonMissyMychal BellNeograntNikkineko333Nikolas CruzNoah EsbensenNuzzieKomaOwen WilsonPikacat39PogoRooRainBoy107Richard ReidRandan FontaineRex FowlerRobert CrimoRobert LongSalvador RamosShaan SinghShinji AobaSienna JohnsonSirtom93SneakylizardStephen FryTakeShotActionTimur BekmansurovTJ LaneToaster SteveTom PrestonTooDamnFilthyTumbles the StairdragonViper

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideSuicidal FailureThe Great Sonic-cide of 2007Threatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco