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Magoo
Tory "Magoo" Christman is legend and a BFF of Anonymous. After 30 years in the Church of $cientology she walked out on them after finding out that her 'job' -creating 100s of sock accounts on Usenet's alt.religion.scientology- was a part of a Co$ operation to stifle free speech, snuff out the exchange of information and 'manipulate' intel for the 'church's' 1337 OSA department of dirty tricks. Since then, she has spent almost every waking hour exposing the inner workings of the cult and fearlessly protesting outside Los Angeles Co$ buildings without a V mask (or any kind of mask, for that matter). Tory is exactly twice as tall as David Miscabbage..
Tory was admittedly a hippy and a rebel in the 60's. That free spirit is what initially led her into the Co$ AND what made her GTFO. As of July 2008 she has also achieved passing notoriety for trolling Thunderdome and causing namefag kids to BAWWW.
Magoo joins teh Secret Co$ Internet Mafia
—Elaine Siegel, OSA, mid-90s |
In the mid-to-late 90s, Al Goar's shiny new intertubes were fuggin' HAWT and the Co$ wanted a big, jackbooted presence on them, especially to "handle" (silence) their critics, who were causing them major publicity problems. Sites like Xenu.net and especially alt.religion.scientology were all deemed 'Supressives' and targeted for destruction.
Magoo, by then a trusted top-level Scio, was recruited into the OSA's master plan , required to sign a secrecy oath attesting to the TOP TOP SECRET nature of the project and told to NEVAR EVAR talk about it. (EVAR!)
A period followed in which she was given cash to open multiple ISP accounts under fake names, initially in Hollywood but then at various locations throughout the country, always using bogus local phone numbers and addresses and always with the OSA paying for her food, lodging and travel expenses. Eventually, the OSA improved their skills in birthing sockpuppets, working strictly over the phone with untraceable pre-paid phonecards and using fake addresses of mailboxes they hadn't even rented for the accounts.
When she asked what all these accounts were for, she was told "Tory, you don't want to know. If you know, they'll get you in court and depose you FOREVER. If you don't know, you can honestly say, "I don't know". Magoo, though uneasy, knew little about computers and didn't really think much about it at the time.
So, what WAS going on? Fucking. Epic. Carnage. OTI .
Oh, It's ON! The Co$ Anti-lulz Raid Begins
Unbeknownst to Magoo, in the Glendale apartment of a Scientologist named Lizzy, 4 or 5 computers were systematically raeping the living shit out of Usenet in general, and alt.religion.scientology in particular, in an anti-lulz raid of epic proportions. The butthurt was endless and unrelenting and, this being the 90s, there were no advanced anti-faggotry countermeasures to defend the realm. Everybody was a fucking n00b !!1!
The main thrust of the assault were so-called "sporgeries" ( a neologism coined by an ARS member: "spam" + "forgery"). 'Sporge' was simply a crapflood of messages that forged the name of legit users to long, bullshit messages like " Above no cough at no writer every considerate profit addressed" etc . Cancelbots were developed, but more often then not, they were simply mopping up shitstorms that couldn't be stopped. The effect was to render ARS un-fucking-readable. Of course, to cover their tracks the OSA didn't just raep ARS- they spread the pain all over Usenet in an attempt to make it look like the work of some random hackers, which fooled exactly three people.
That wasn't the only card up their sleeve. The OSA also:
- issued bogus Usenet "remove group" commands, to delete the newsgroup from newsgroup servers worldwide.
- issued equally bogus "cancel article" commands, deleting articles by critics of Scientology.
- posted "Dead Agent" propaganda- slanders on critics, or neo-Nazi gibberish with the target critic's name and addy forged onto it (in keeping with Hubbard's "Fair Game" Policy).
- posted random paragraphs of Scientology quotes over and over and overandoverandover...
Eventually, Magoo saw the all the nonsensical messages and realized she'd been used. Being a hippy at heart, and strongly believing in free speech, she couldn't help but feel guilty, even if she didn't quite understand what was going on. She begged off the project, which pissed off her OSA bosses big-time. What she's since called her "Truman Show" had started to fall apart.
I Was a Troll For The Co$
But nobody just up and leaves this cult, especially after 30 years and thousands of dollars spent, so Magoo did what a lot of Scios probably do everyday- she sublimated her growing doubts and kept trying to go thru the motions. Her way of doing this was to personally take to the internet in defense of the Co$. Under the screen name "Magoo", she became the biggest OSA online troll evar.
Though she was a total n00b, she was damned ferocious, surfing to ARS and critic's sites and starting flame wars with fucking EVERYONE. What she lacked in readability, she more than made up for in zeal and ad hominem insult. For weeks on end, she kept at it with a Hagger-like tenacity, becoming the single most frequent poster on ARS, even singling out Wise Beard Man for regular beatdowns!!1! (They're BFFs now and Wise Beard Man has since remarked "I was amazed that this nice person could be so damned nasty anonymously.")
Considerable debate raged on ARS about the identity of this fearsome and non-sequitur troll. Some were sure this "Magoo" was six people using the same nick, others feared it was some kind of new bot. Some even speculated that "Magoo" was David Miscavige herself! But everyone agreed on the basics: "Magoo" was an obviously batshit-crazy n00b who wasn't very good at arguing or debate. So, possibly for lulz, Andreas Heldal-Lund, the owner of Operation Clambake, decided to write "Magoo" a friendly little email with some pointers on how her posts could be a little moar intelligible.
The effect was unexpected. Magoo was stunned. Someone she'd thought of as the devil "...had not only sent me a nice message, he had offered me useful advice...". Being a nice person IRL, Magoo sent him a thank-you note and they began to email one another regularly. It wasn't long before conversing with a normal person brought the whole "Truman Show" crashing down. Magoo decided to GTFO.
July 20, 2000: Nevar Forget
—Magoo drops her own dox on a.r.s |
— Co$ goes BAWWWW |
Scouting For Feb 10th
On Saturday, Feb. 2nd, Magoo assisted a 1337 Anonymous Special Ops advance team to scout Project Chanology's main L.A. target for the EPIC tenth of two WIN. With her insider knowledge of "Big Blue" -Co$' massive Sunset and Vermont complex- the five man team casually cased the joint like they were your everyday tourists with a tour guide's running commentary pointing out key locations and what went on behind closed doors there. These YouTubes give a peek at the 'guided tour' and end with a message to the 'church' to not only expect Anonymous, but to expect her!
Part One
Part Two
NB: Tory stated that this was the first time in 8 years of walking or picketing near the building (since she quit Co$ in 2000) that she wasn't harassed or even approached by security.
Tory Thanks Anonymous For Delivering on 2/10
—Tory is proud of Anonymous |
Moar on Magoo's YouTube Channel.
Her story
Magoo speaks on her 'life' in the Co$, the 'work' and getting out
The Great Wall of Tory
In the following absolutely hilarious video, OT level Scientologists create a human chain to block the view of other CoS of Magoo Christman and her protest sign encouraging CoS to stop destroying families. According to reddit, this is real.
Tory Speaks about Recent Events
Tory address Anon and some recent drama on Enturb
"Magoogate"
- Magoo wanders into Thunderdome and goes about her usual shtick of trundling around like a curious hedgehog bumping into things.
- Anon treats her with kid gloves.
- Magoo trolls moar, pushes harder.
- Anon snaps and treats her to the usual processing and handling.
- Magoo gets manipulated immensely by OSA handing her TD copypasta on a flier.
- Magoo unleashes the fucking fury. (calls Domers OSA)
- ???
ProfitBAWWWWW!
What Part Of "Anonymous" Don't You Faggots Understand?
Another reason the daggers were out for Magoo is that a number of excitable moralfags got all giddy over her at a protest and forked over their dox so that they could get leet bragging rights. Displaying her usual level of aptitude with technology, she proceeded to call them up to try and convince them to unmask and become full-time activists. Then the OSA stole her itemized phone bill.
The ramifications and hyperbole that followed the wake of Magoogate are dissected below.
Theory | Analysis |
Magoo never quit the OSA! She's, like, some OMG SUPER DEEP COVER SCILON TROLL SENT TO DESTROY ANONYMOUS!!!1 | Even in the paranoid aftermath of an anti-OSA raid, pretty laughable. |
ZOMG MAGOO IS SO MEEEEEEEEN! We thought she was NICE! | No, seriously, WHICH part of Anonymous don't you faggots understand? |
Magoo is fucking cuckoo, and has years of dangerous troll training behind her. You really shouldn't fuck with her. ANYONE who actually bothered to keep up with the real world instead of idolizing her already knew this and dug her anyway. Nothing has changed, apart from a bunch of self-important kiddies getting an awkward schooling vis-a-vis the fact that "Never give out your real name and contact details to anyone at a protest" does not mean "Never give out your real name and contact details to anyone unless you're trying to bask in the proximity of their e-fame." | Absolutely, 100% true. Now GTFO MY INTERNETS AND STOP FAGGING UP MY CHANOLOGY. |
--DingDongDang 00:35, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
Trivia
- A gang member once told Magoo "I'm a sex fiend". She said 'That's great, I'm one too!' He GTFO'd.
- While in the Co$, Magoo got a couple of protesters to GTFO by asking them "How do you like my hair?"
- Magoo once had dinner in the Bahamas with David Miscavige's mom. On a ship.
- She gave Dianetics training to fucking John Travolta.
- One of Magoo's cats pwnd a pitbull.
- The OSA once put a fake ad on alt.personals.bondage with Magoo's name and phone number. Srsly.
- Magoo is an Admiral in the Marcab Confederacy First Fleet (Mudkipz Brigade).
- Magoo's 'Power Animal' is Fact Cat.
See Also
- Drama whore
- Mark Bunker
- Mark Ebner of Hollywood Interrupted
- Graham E. Berry
- Project Chanology
- Message from Scientology
External Links
- Magoo's site
- Tory Christman @TOW
- Magoo at enturbulation
- LA New Times interview with Magoo on her years in the Co$
- The Attack Against alt.religion.scientology
Magoo is part of a series on Visit the Anonymous Portal for complete coverage. |
Magoo is part of a series on Usenet. | [Expand] | ||||||||
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Magoo is part of a series on people who have slept with Rubberduc |
Nomadlisa • Rob Levin • Andrewpants • San Francisco • Girlvinyl JWZ • Hepkitten • Bradfitz • Weev • Sloth • Ghettofinger • Battlecry |
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