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Megatokyo
Megatokyo
is part of a series related to all things
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Wish fulfillment fantasy webcomic for basement dwellers, hopeless otaku and the ever-annoying Wapanese - like its creator Fred Gallagher. Megatokyo is a Frankenstein-like creation that merges Fred's terrible Love Hina fanart, harem anime, "comedy" and all the unfunny videogame referencing of Penny Arcade, to create the most extreme example of nerd-wank in the history of mankind.
The story follows two losers who scrape up enough money to travel to a magical wonderland called "Japan", where geeks are treated as royalty, life is exactly like a dating sim and underage Japanese school girls are so wet for basement dwellers that they will fight to the death over who gets to date an introverted whitey. 99.9% of the character's problems are the result of a misplaced cell phone, which noone can seem to keep on themselves to save their life.
The comic's motto is "Relax, we Understand j00". Many visitors to the site have breathed a sigh of relief knowing how how well they understand Jews. The crude anime fanart style art is digitally sketchy and not inked, due to Gallagher furiously masturbating as he draws an idealized version of himself ("Piro") being fawned over by 16 year old Japanese schoolgirls. He also includes his wife in the strip, depicting her as a slim sexy fairy thing. IRL, of course, both she and her husband are complete fatties who have taken one too many blows with the ugly stick. Somehow, Fred managed to reproduce without killing his fat wife out of his sheer weight. It is highly suspected that artifical insemination was used to create Fred's spawn. Somehow said spawn doesn't get neglected by his parents for over countless cons and for making many Sq33t L33t T-shirts in their basement.
The Forums
The Megatokyo forums are where bad artists gather to worship Fred Gallagher, who has become something of a god of bad artistry. Threads range from "FRED-SAMA HOW CAN I DRAW LIKE A MANGA-KA LIKE YOU ;_;" and RP in which Gallagher insists on pretending to be an under-aged schoolgirl complete with a "kawaii" avatar. If anyone points out how his art style and character design is ripped off from Love Hina, they will be banned.
There is plentiful USI on these forums as well, believe it or not. The people whom would defend and "critisize" Fred-chan's art enough with an all that attitude are treated like demi-gods themselves. If you actually disagree with them enough, they will hate you forever and you should feel sorry for that lol.
The Break-Up
In mid 2002 Fred Gallagher decided that there could be only one writer in MT and sacked Rodney Caston. He made the comic a whiny shoujo-like manga which gets updated whenever he feels like, which in online-comic terms means that you have to wait 3 weeks (or more since Fred has been known to sit on his fat ass a lot) to read just one completed scene, if not simply the unfinshed sketches of the panels alone.
It's in evidence that one of the reasons Caston was sacked had to do with Gallagher's greed, which is to say his wish to make more money off of Megatokyo through not having to split it with anyone. This goes to say that since having Caston removed, nothing funny has happened and the only person who can provide the lulz to the faithful readers is a guy who can't draw, who goes by the name of Shirt Guy Dom. Which is hilarious, because Dom is just like every other faggot Fred-chan employs.
Oh t3h Drama
On the 15th of January 2005, professional asshole and fatty Scott Kurtz The Moon, Earth's only natural satellite and primary source of cheese trolled the crap out of Gallagher by mentioning how he'd stolen Megatokyo from his ex-lover Rodney Caston. Kurtz also managed to slip Gallagher even MOAR butthurt on the other side of the coin by pinning him like a captured butterfly, which is apt, since his ego is as delicate and fragile as one, by congratulating Caston on the birth of his newborn son, stating that it was "the one thing Piro couldn't steal from him" in the same timeframe. Since Gallagher has the self esteem of a wet tissue, he immediately threw a huge hissy fit.
It is interesting to note that the ego of Gallagher is so fragile that the least amount of self doubt, forced introspection or the concept of having fucked up royally in any capacity will reduce him to a feebly mumbling ball of angsty, self-questioning pain, often bringing his now-trademark "hiatuses" to bear on his hapless minions of fanboys and fawning catgirls, who will shit their pants without their Megatokyo fix. Paralyzing Gallagher via this method is like the tactical MIRV warhead of the webcomic world, since it not only obliterates the target, but has a more than satisfactory collateral damage radius encompassing the fans, resulting maxi-lulz for the successful perpetrator.
Legions of enraged Megatokyo fans sent hate mails to Kurtz, but instead of the pity and apologies Gallagher was expecting, Kurtz employed a classic "I did it for the lulz" maneuver.
Winner: Kurtz.
It's also worthy of note that Gallagher has a marked history of being catty towards other artists at anime conventions, probably due to insecurity or feeling otherwise threatened by these artists.
Fat Fuck's Issues with Reliability
It appears that Freddy Fatty can't even work for his only source of income. As most webcomics (read: all webcomics) update on a 2-3 day basis, Fatty only updates his shitty black and white fake Japanese doujin on a weekly monthly basis. Oh wait, not even on a monthly basis, as he even forgets to post shitty "Dead Piro Art Days" and just leaves the months-old comic there without any updates. This is odd as he is one of the few "artists" who rely on their comic as their only source of income. This just goes to show how much he loves taking a big shit on his worthless fans and devouring the malformed, STD infested hand that feeds him.
Even his website isn't developed as his character and story sections took the longest time to be updated.
In 2007:
- "All right, all right! I still don't feel like finishing these sections, but whatever (grumble)... Believe it or not, the (page) is in production and will be incorporated into the new site launch eventually. We just are not including them as part of this beta test (because they still need some work). -piro fall 2007"
In 2000:
- "I'll finish this section when I feel like it."
In 2009, the story section finally got updated thanks to a fan. Yes, you read that right. It took Fred nine years to finally fill his shitty website with some content, and it had to be done by some wapanese who actually had some time to spare to do something that Fred should have done aeons ago. What a lazy fat fuck. This proves the Freddy Fatty lives in a time paradox where it takes 9 fucking years to post a paragraph and an eternity to have a decent strip. Not even Cthulhu has yet to see any progress on this. It also proves his fanboys will wait as long as it takes for Sony to make good games for the PS3 as for him to update his shitty comic. Note that the character section is still with the same 2007 message.
In 2009, Mohammed F. Hawke of Applegeeks fame had provided some strips when Fred was too busy trying to scratch his butt's ich. Too bad for Fred-chan, Hawke seemed to have finally realised that he had made friends with a lazy, poor, unfunny wapanese who takes an entire lifetime to simply post one panel of art, so he seems to have started to ignore him.
Megatokyo Hentai
When asked what would happen if Megatokyo Hentai ever sprung up on the Internets, Gallagher replied:
- "Well, like I said before, if I ever come across any 'Megatokyo Hentai' I will end the comic right then and there. I'll move on to other things."
Of course, what the internets didn't know back then, was that Fred had already drawn his own loli hentai, which he later persuaded Al Gore to systematically remove from the Interweb completely, threatening to sue Al and everyone else on the Internet if he didn't comply. To this day, his secret pedophilia... *is no longer a secret
On June 8, 2006 Fred-Chan finally released his loliporno to the world under the name of Blurred, claiming that it was "**to be the content of Piro's sketchbook" "and was an experimental site that I toyed with to give somewhere i could post such work.". On this date, he also released another kawaii Megatokyo comic featuring Kimiko standing-up Piro, but seriously, who gives a fuck.
Since then, Megatokyo has gotten slightly more adult, now featuring panty shots and boobies. But since the art is shitty, the "fanservice" may not be fanservice at all. Except maybe to Fred-chan himself.
**So, judging by that statement, Piro drew his co-worker butt naked on his sketchbook at some point.
But I don't want to leave ED to see Fred's smut
Like the rest of his work, his pronz is shit. You're better off wanking off to a map of Japan than to this shit. Then again, only Fred-chan beats off to this shit.
Megatokyo: Vidya Edition
Not content having a shitty webcomic he's never going to finish, on June 8th 2013 Gallagher made another play to get all the money by creating a kickstarter to raise funds for a Megatokyo dating failure simulator. As of writing, the project has raised almost over $100,000 $150,000 from fans who for some reason feel a need to interact with clichéd characters through Gallagher's inane dialogue.Given the comic's current speed of development, completion of the visual novel is expected some time around the heat death of the universe.
Here's where the real tomfuckery comes into place. As a stretch goal, Gallagher included the addition of "excessively romantic content" to the game, going so far as to call it the "blurred" stretch goal. If being a hypocritical motherfucker wasn't enough to make you hate him, take into consideration he's asking for $500,000 to make it happen.
What the shit, Fred.
Also See
- Colony Drop - The other end of the spectrum of weeabbo fuckery
- Rodney Caston - His former partner.
External Links
- Megatokyo
- The Bad Webcomic Wiki slams Megatokyo.
- Superior webcomic Sexy Losers provides the best summary of MT ever in this simple strip.
- The Webcomics Examiner pwns Megatokyo
- An in-depth look at the wide spectrum of suck contained within Megatokyo
- Editor's commentary on Gallager's sick lolicon obsession (with the actual images)
- Blurred, the place where Gallager's sick lolicon obsession actually sits on the interwebs!
