Five Nights at Freddy's

Five Nights at Freddy's, is an incredible masterpiece of horror survival games and one of the best games evar made. The game itself focuses on spending Five nights at a Chuck E Cheese rip off restaurant called Freddy Fazbear's. The only interaction you ever get to do is flip a tablet up looking at the screen and closing the doors when the monsters get too close. Despite it's boring and bland gameplay, along with it's 2001 video graphics, Five Nights At Freddy's somehow got popular thanks to tumblrfags, Pewdiepie fanboys, Markiplier fanboys, hipsters, and meme loving faggots that spend all day in their basements trying to be funny. What makes it even more of an insult is that it costs $4.99 on Steam. FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A SHITTY GAME!!!!!!!!!!

history

This game started off nothing more as a boring piece of shit that would've been forgotten on IndieDB and Desura. Around August 2014, the game saw a boost in popularity because of Markiplier playing it and shitting his pants in fear about how super duper scary and innovative it is. The next few days saw his drones spreading the news about how scary Five Nights at Freddy's is. Watch his video below, eventually his annoying attitude or the gameplay itself is going to give you cancer.

So scary OMG

Moar useless fucking history

Meme loving faggot on steam trying to be funny with his reviews while being completely unhelpful at the same time.

About a week after scaring the pants off of 12 year olds and SJW hipster feminazis, Five Nights at Freddy's got greenlit to be sold on steam, where the fanbase continues to show how great this game is by shoving down everybody's throats. Just like Bronies, Whovians, weeaboos, and Furries, Five Nights at Freddy's fans feel the need to shove their love for the game down everybody's throats at any given moment, most the fans think it's the GREATEST GAME EVAR MADE or the game that's gonna save the horror survival genre, funny enough, 90% of the faggots in the fandom have never played the game. Say one bad thing about the game, from the fact that it has a ton of glitches or pressing escape closes the whole game instead of bringing you to a pause menu, or the fact that it's $5 for a game that looks like your typical Free 2 play iPhone game. You'll piss the fanboy army off and get banned from the Steam Discussion forums on the game with in 2 seconds. Criticism is not allowed, only praise.

How to play the game

So you still wanna waste $5 on this useless game? Why don't you just pirate it, so you won't fund this faggot who made it. Either way, if you do want to buy the game or already own it, here's how to play.

Night 1: Listen to that nerd who had the job before you explain how to get through it all. He'll give you a history of Pedophile Paradise and all the tricks to survive. It's simple, close door when you feel threatened, open it if you don't, check monitor, look more for any of the animatronics trying to murder you. Oh and you also have limited power, the door and monitors drain the power quicker.

Night 2-5: Repeat the same process as Night 1 nerd, oh and don't forget to pick up your paycheck, you got only $120 for risking your life guarding this place. GG.

Night 6: 1337 mode. The animatronics are now deadlier than usual and you don't have that faggot calling you before you risk your life for the 6th night in a row. Your reward is overtime pay of only $.50 and Employee of the Month. Must feel good getting little pay and praise for doing nothing but sitting in an office all night begging to be killed.

Characters

The Nightguard: The poor fuck who took this low paying job to look after Pedophile's Paradise. You take the role of the guard. You have no weapon at all, no way of defense past closing the doors and opening them and looking at your greasy and tiny security screen. Alongside that, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza has surprisingly stayed open long enough despite all the "incidents" that took place there. OSHA will sure be pissed about your working conditions, along with that you only get paid $120 risking your life guarding a building full of killer robots for a week. Feminazis think the nightguard is a woman for the low pay.

Freddy Fazbear: The namesake of this stupid, fucking game. Freddy is an animatronic bear in a Top hat that's the lead singer of Freddy Fazbear's. He supposedly can teleport to your office without warning. Also does nothing for the first few nights, then he'll start acting dangerous. Will try to forcefully stuff you into a costume, which somehow kills you.

Chica the Chicken: A chicken animatronic who has a bib that says "Let's Eat!" on it. She's the backup singer of Freddy Fazbear's Rape Gang band, also the lead whore of the series, furries love making porn of Chica, especially artwork of the nightguard fucking her, quite hard to do since she's a fucking robot chicken. Has the same unknown motive to force you into a costume as Freddy does. Almost all the fanart of her depicts her having a dick, despite her name literally fucking meaning "girl" in spanish.

Bonnie the Bunny: The bassist of the Freddy Fazbear gang. He's a purple animatronic bunny with a bowtie. Unlike the others, he's a bit more sneaky when it comes to ambushing your poor ass. Like Chica and Freddy, he just wants to stuff you into a suit. Furfags argue constantly if Bonnie is a male or female, not that it fucking matters since it's a fucking animatronic.

Foxy: A motherfucking Pirate Fox, unlike the others, he is not in the Freddy Fazbear Rape and Genocide Gang, he was in an attraction called Pirate's Cove, which was open until the "Bite of '87", where he bit the top of the head off of an annoying 12 year old faggot, since then the attraction has remained closed. Unlike the others, he doesn't want to stuff you into a suit, rather just bite your head off, he also will come to you if you watch him too long, watch him too little, or not watch him at all, he can come out of nowhere, running down the hall like the furfaggot he is and bite your face off.

Sequel

Thanks to the furfaggot echo chamber demanding it, Five Night's at Freddy's is already getting a sequel. Supposedly supposed to be Far more scarier than the first game, the trailer alone already says it all. With the doors being removed and a clever disguise when the animatronics get in your office. Yet you still don't have a weapon to defend yourself. It won't be long before Five Nights at Freddy's suffers the same fate as Call of Duty.

Already this game looks as dumb as the first one

Fagdom activity

As with all fandoms, Five Nights at Freddy's has it's share of basement dwelling furfaggots that have to make Rule 34 of everything, in fact there is so much Rule 34 of Five Nights at Freddy's, it almost outmatches brony R34. Most the art consists of Chica the Chicken or Freddy Fazbear.