Flounce

Flounce is part of a series on final solutions.

[crackersGas the...]

• Apology
• Ban fucking everyone
• Buy a dog
• Complete rewrite
• Delete fucking everything
• Deleting your LiveJournal
• Deleting your Youtube Videos
• Done with ED
• Flounce
• Holocaust
• Internet Kill Switch
• It was a social experiment
• KILL IT WITH FIRE
• Mass Murder
• Never drinking again
• Nibiru/Planet Nine
• Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking
• Quitting IRC forever
• Ragequit
• Suicide (see also An Hero)
• Wikicide (Wikibreak)
• Unsubscribing
• X FUCKING Y

A flounce post is when one must proclaim that they are leaving a community forever. These attention whores are nearly as amusing as those who use "deleting your LiveJournal" for attention. Rather than quietly leaving an LJ community, they feel they must leave a long ass, boring, nonsensical post explaining why they are so much more highly evolved than anyone else in the community. Names may be named, events may be recalled, but they are, at essence, a nice, delicious whine.

Like any good whine, flounces are varied in their history, maturity, texture, quality, bouquet and mouth feel, but all boil down to a subtle, inherent, and slightly fruity expressiveness:

	“	Hello, I'm [random LiveJournal community] member #278. Most of you have never seen me post. A few of you know me from [insert link for this weeks drama filled post] where I was in a rather heated online argument. I have to say I'm disappointed in [livejournal community]. I won't name names in this post even though the entire community knows who I'm talking about. That way I can always point to my post saying, "I NEVER SAID YOUR NAME!" This gives me the upper ground. I didn't like the way that you did that thing you did. And the photoshopped pictures about me hurt my feelings. Yes, I realize there are different opinions in a community this size but I'll let the comments of a few posters color my whole perception of this place. So I'm leaving forever. Forever ever? And ever ever? Yes. Although I will still answer all the comments people leave me and I'll reappear if my name is mentioned. But after that, I'm TOTALLY gone. Now I'll write about all the cool things I used to like about this community and talk about how it has changed for the worse. But I don't realize that by knocking the community, I'm basically insulting everyone who chooses to stay even if they weren't involved in [insert link for this weeks drama filled post]. I make people feel like they have to justify why they'd remain in such an evil community. After all, if I'm leaving, it has to be horrible. I make some general negative comments about the entire community, once again making us into a mono-faceted group of people just because we have one thing in common. Not like me, however because I'm different. I see the dark undercurrent beneath [livejournal community]. Obviously, livejournal is serious business to me. Because when you click the link titled, "leave community" it didn't make me write this post. No, I wanna leave with a BANG! I want to appear righteous. But here is the part I don't understand. Even if I'm polite and have several valid points, no one will care because goodbye posts are rude internet etiquette. So by being rude, I'm just as bad as the people I'm angry at. But keep a look out for me in the future! Because almost everyone who has written a goodbye post continues to lurk and eventually comes back a few months later, hoping the community has forgotten. Now I will prepare to be baffled by the immensely negative response my post gets. Signed, [livejournal community] member #278	„
	—Loser with no life, All of LJ, all the time

The Biggest TL;DR Flounce Ever on the Internets

	“	This is my final post on FCF. I thought before I disappeared permanently I'd give everyone (that's interested) a final word from me. Within less than a month, my life has become an endless downward spiral of emotional agony and hardship. About 3 weeks ago, I received an email from my college that my normally renewable $10000 scholarship will be discontinued indefinitely, just one year from graduating with my degree. I won't be able to pay for my tuition next year due to economic troubles and my lack of credit. My future is now more uncertain than it ever was. My handicapped brother who has within the past few months developed a severe case of schizophrenia is now so drugged up he doesn't recognize his own family and will soon be institutionalized for his condition. My great aunt recently had a stroke so severe it's rendered her comatose and very possibly on her death bed for a 79 year old woman with a history of heart problems. The prospect of attending a funeral for another relative is devastating enough. Business at my current employment has become so ridiculously slow that I'm almost certain to be laid off within the month, especially considering my diminished work ethic over the past few days for obvious reasons. Money simply doesn't hold much value to me anymore... Now all of these things I was sure I could have handled somehow, so long as the final straw hadn't been pulled, though it was. I'm sure by now all of you know what straw that was. It's left me depressed and inconsolable for the past several days...but even since our break up I somehow held out a last shred of hope that I could, after a time remain friends with Bex and everyone else, until today. I've seen this thread, and with it the final blow has been dealt. I won't deny any of it, because unfortunately it is all true. A long time ago I was a very weak minded individual, paranoid and doubtful of everything. At that time I was never fully convinced that a girl as beautiful, amazing, and simply perfect as Bex was and is could ever truly love me, someone so undesirable in every way as I saw myself. I committed horrible acts; despicable, lewd, and utterly unforgivable acts of infidelity. I was a fool to think my guilt would ever be contained, as if I deserved to harbor such a disgusting secret from everyone, especially the one I loved. However, although I regretted everything I had done with the utmost disdain for myself, I knew it would be easier to live with my guilt than to have to live without her love. Even so, it was still very hard to live with, as Channy would repeatedly blackmail me with threats of revealing everything if I didn't conform to her wishes. I felt like a slave, trapped and helpless. I tried to make peace several times to avoid it but I knew eventually the pressure would give way. I wanted to tell Bex everything myself, and end our relationship so that I wouldn't drag her along, but I was still weak, scared and selfish. I wanted to make things work because I knew I couldn't afford to lose her. She was everything to me, always. When Channy told Bex in April of '08, I was sure my relationship was over, and the pain of heartbreak began to set in. However, Channy left out certain points, and Bex not realizing how seriously I had disgraced her, for reasons not entirely clear, remained with me. I knew I was not deserving of her continued friendship let alone love, but it was granted to me as if by some miracle of fate. With our relationship still intact, I made a vow to her and myself to devote my life to her happiness. I knew I could never erase the past, but I hoped to build a brighter future and be the absolute best man any woman could ever ask for, because Bex deserved nothing less than that. Over the next 10 months I spent thousands of dollars to travel to England to see her, bought her expensive jewelery as thoughtful gifts always personalizing my love to her through them, spent countless hours making sure I was available to her whenever she needed me, devoting every minute I was online to her, listening and consoling and advising and loving her. I knew in my heart she loved me, and that was all I needed to give my 100% to her everyday. Texting, calling, messaging, and at the same time allowing her plenty of breathing room, I never smothered her with affection like I'd done in the past, she was never very receptive to that. As our two year anniversary passed, I was as content with life as I'd ever been. I'd worked hard to rebuild the trust between Bex and I, everything seemed like a dream, I was saving a lot of money very much in anticipation of our meet this summer, which we planned to be longer and far grander than the last. I was doing well in school, life was as perfect as I could hope for. The past seemed a distant, insignificant memory that couldn't touch us any longer. Since April, Bex changed me so dramatically, she became the driving force in my life that allowed me gain more confidence and believe in myself. She is every reason why I became so happy and felt so fulfilled during that time. Without her temperance, guidance, and faith in me, I would never have made it this far. Then last Sunday it all came crashing down. And now today the final nail has been driven into my coffin. I know a lot if not all of you have at least lost all respect for me, and as well you should have. I know some of you now hate me, or no longer consider me the friend you once did. No apologetic sincerity will ever be worth an ounce of forgiveness for what I've done. I had always feared my sins would return to visit me, and the cost is more than I can bear. There is no joy left in my life, but that is not a grievance, because I have no right to grieve. All that has transpired is no one's fault but my own. I can assure you I am not the weak man I once was, at least I wasn't until she left me, but I suppose it was inevitable. One way or another I was fated to this conclusion because of the horribly poor choices of my past. I'm quite sure I will be the subject of much humiliating internet comedy long after I'm gone. I can't help that, and I probably deserve every bit of it. I'm sure somewhere in Canada, Channy and Ist are celebrating some sort of victory with alcohol and sex. I wish I could hate them, yet the only one to blame here ultimately is myself. Congratulations Channy, Ist; you won the war, I'm sure you feel your ban is well worth ruining your enemy's life. I had thought of making a fresh start. Returning to the forum after a period of time, remaining friends with Bex, and all of you. But that no longer seems possible. So I hereby take my leave of the internet. You will likely never see or hear from me again. Personally if I were in the position of any of you my words would be 'good riddance', and I'm sure a fair few of you are thinking that. I've made a lot of amazing friends over the past few years I've been with ACF, FCF, and everywhere in between. I will miss a lot of you truly, and wish you all the best in life. Alex, Sheena, Adri, Aaron, Brent, Christian, Dustin, Scott, Tasha, Chris, Reg, Joe, Alexx, Greg, Rose, Dave, Kelsey, and anyone else I've carelessly forgotten in my crushed mental state. For what it's worth, I considered you all friends, whether I knew you irl or not, and I'm sorry this is how we must part ways. Above all else I will miss Bex. The light and love of my life. You are honestly the most beautiful person on this planet in my eyes, in every way. You are so talented, funny, intelligent, mature, faithful, sensible, and the ensuing list would make this post impossible to complete were I to enumerate every detail. You showed me an honest and true love I'm sure I will never find again, and I don't want to, unless it's with you. If I could turn back time I would loop these past two years with you for all eternity, of course doing many things differently, correcting errors of judgment and character I should have never made. You are truly the most amazing person I've ever met. If my heart is ever to be mended again, it will only be done through your love, which I do not deserve and am sure never to experience again. I'm sorry for every bit of pain I've caused you, I was certainly not the best man a girl could want, although I tried, I tried so hard. If there's any consolation I can find now, it's that you follow your heart and dreams, and find the happiness I found when I was with you. I still hold true to that solemn vow. I know this romantic rhetoric doesn't amount to much in your eyes, nor anyone's, but it's just what I need to say if I'm ever going to make peace with myself, and everyone who bothers to read all of this. This is my final goodbye. I've deleted msn and skype from my computer, and stripped my facebook account. I've asked a friend to forward a request that my account here be banned and if possible, deleted. Farewell everyone. Goodbye Bex. I love you, I always have and always will.	„
	— Clearly this man has very little to do with his life now that he lost the one thing that made him cling to the internets so desperately.

Note how he could have dealt with all his irl issues, as long as he has his e-lationship gf there to hold his e-hand through it all.

Then again, his proclamations of leaving turned out to be a farce when he was there just days later to post Myspace surveys about how depressing his life has been since then.

IRL Flounce

On occasion, one may witness an IRL flounce, such as the flounce of one David Palmer, nominee for the head of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, who wrote the following in a letter announcing his desire to no longer be considered for the position, after questions were raised -- ie, that he himself was the subject of a discrimination complaint:

	“	I have received what can only be called a crash course in how bitterly partisan the nomination process has become	„

The classiest flounce in history

The year is 1772. The Prince is keeping his orchestra away from their families by making them entertain him late into the summer holiday. Court composer Joseph Haydn responds with a symphony in which after a couple of minutes the orchestra starts walking out on the Prince one by one, until there's noone left except the Prince sitting alone in the dark thinking "WTF?". The Prince got the message and let them go home the next day, thus making this also the only recorded example of a successful IRL flounce. Play 'em off, harpsichord cat.

Gallery

• 
  MOAR!
• 
  Typical thought process of a flouncer
• 
  According to Lesser-Dragon, you all suck. Goodbye fandom
• 
  The lesser-spotted modflounce

Examples

• User:Mu.ollin - you can flounce from ED, too!
• Flounce on EDF2: Electric boogaloo
• You people don't care!!!!!!
• epic tl;dr
• Flounce posts from TT, a chat community in Germany

See Also

• PBF
• Unwarranted self-importance
• Unrealistic expectations
• Ragequit
• Trent Reznor
• Sarah Palin
• Thin skinned

Flounce is part of a series on LiveJournal Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.

Flounce is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.