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Chris-chan: Difference between revisions
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===September 6th 2010=== | ===September 6th 2010=== | ||
Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHwcgzAT5KY which can be viewed here.] In it he informs us he is very much [[Osama|not dead]], and infact [[Lie|alive, healthy and well]]. He also notifies us that [[Lie|he hasn't dug up Patti.]] [[John Wayne Gacy Junior|Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated]]. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow [[Cock|smoke]], [[ALL CAPS|NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!]]. But hey, guess what? [[Lie|He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls,]] so they can't [[Masturbate|play with him any more]]. His final message? [[Haters gonna hate]], plus an [[no|awesome]] [[Lolwut|string twirl]]. | Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHwcgzAT5KY which can be viewed here.] In it he informs us he is very much [[Osama|not dead]], and infact [[Lie|alive, healthy and well]]. He also notifies us that [[Lie|he hasn't dug up Patti.]] [[John Wayne Gacy Junior|Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up from under his porch sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated]]. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow [[Cock|smoke]], [[ALL CAPS|NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!]]. But hey, guess what? [[Lie|He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls,]] so they can't [[Masturbate|play with him any more]]. His final message? [[Haters gonna hate]], plus an [[no|awesome]] [[Lolwut|string twirl]]. | ||
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Revision as of 15:44, 21 April 2011
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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you. Thanks, America. |
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 | This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back.
Please, don't fuck it up. |
Behold, the mistake of God: Christian Weston Chandler.
Born February 24, 1982, Christian is a naïve, perverse, overweight, racist, pedophilic, homophobic, self-proclaimed aspie virgin and creator of his own skillfully-drawn series of comics starring Sonichu - his supremely insightful crossover of Pikachu and Sonic. As well as "suffering" from autism, Chris also suffers from a terminal case of unwarranted self-importance, the only cure for which would be to remove his head from his consequently gaping ass. At the time of this writing, Chris has found neither the time nor the conviction to do so.
Other names for Chris-Chan include: CWC, クリスちゃん, Mexican Weston Chandler, Ian Brandon Anderson, Ian Brannon Something, The Impostor, Sammy, or any other lulzy names trolls can make up for him, which will make him throw a tantrum.
The most notable physical characteristic of Chris, beyond the obvious corpulence, is that he wears a medallion made out of crayola FUCKIN' MODEL MAGIC and acrylic paint at all times in homage to his yellow Sonic re-color. In public. As if that weren't lame enough, Chris-chan actually has a shitload of medallions: The blachu, and the "Rosechu" medallion (which he planned on giving to his sweetheart), suggesting that he has far too much free time on his hands. Which, of course, he does, because who the fuck would sit around on their fat ass all day coloring-in comic book pages if they had anything better to do with their lives?
Christian's hobbies once included creating My Little Pony figures, including himself as a pony wearing a Sonichu medallion, stalking women at the mall, finding a "boyfriend-free girl" to "make into a Sweetheart from the ground-up", drawing (and actually uploading) pictures of himself having sex with multiple, racially diverse women, drawing porn of his hedgehogs, taking naked pictures of himself, and sexing up a blow-up doll named JULAY(which was originally sold as "Kimmi"). Now all he does is play PS3 all day and stuff vegetables and fast food down his throat.
He also got into big trouble when his father walked in on him while he was masturbating. Chris really needs to grow up and sell his toys on eBay. However, no one will buy his shit, so a girlfriend-free faggot he remains forever more.
But it gets far worse, my friends...
Dox
Indeed, the fat, stupid prick decided to dox himself.. For the record, his address is..
14 Branchland Court
Ruckersville, VA 22968
United States
Chris has doxed himself in many of his videos, usually when trying to prove his identity, or to get trolls to come to him and fight him in real life.
IRL Creepiness
On MySpace, Chris posted his quest for a "boyfriend-free girl" and his stalking tendencies. Unfortunately for him, every woman on the planet appears to have a boyfriend. This has led to what Chris dubs "noviophobia" — in Chris's bastardized highschool Spanish interpretation, he inserts "novio" which essentially means boyfriend, before the Greek root phobia, committing a facepalm-worthy portmanteau that is almost nonsensical enough to make you forget that of all things in the world, Chris has a paralyzing fear of boyfriends. Chris claims to hate every male besides himself and his father, because they "took all the pretty girls leaving [him] with no one to choose from".
—Chris-chan spills the beans | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
He employed his famous "looking for a boyfriend-free girl" sign in two places: the Fashion Square Shopping Center and Piedmont Virginia Community College. The dean, Mary Lee Walsh, reasonably assumed that Chris was publicly soliciting for sex, had the sign destroyed and banned him from the school for a year. Since then, he became obsessed with her and depicts her within his comic as a bald witch with a viking helmet, a pitchfork, a scepter to contain her evil anti-love powers, and occasionally a broomstick.
Chris has also shown his hatred towards Mary on several other occasions. He made a hilarious video asking for fictional character Harvey Dirdban's (not Birdman) assistance to fight "THAT EVIL BITCH MARY LEE WALSH FOREVAR!!1" in a contest for Adult Swim. He also made a video of him fighting Mary Lee Walsh as a custom character in Soul Calibur III. Despite his hate for Walsh, he still took the time with his Magic Markers to make hideous porn of her. You know you want to see it.
Chris's Love Quest was also foiled by Security Guards of Fashion Square Shopping Center. He was handcuffed and kicked out by Jerkops (half jerk, half cops) "for trying to attract a Boyfriend-Free Girl".
Christian claims to have started his ill-begotten love quest because he wants a daughter whom he will "dubly" call Crystal Weston Chandler (apparently after the illustrious metal). He made her in the form of one of his My Little Pony figures (from his own pubic hair, mind you), and made a separate file in the game Animal Crossing, and played as her.
The person we know the most about is Megan Schroeder who had a huge influence on the comic and Chris himself. She remarked that the antagonist of one of the Sailor Moon movies came off as "kind of queer", possibly influencing Chris's homophobia.
One example of the Chris-induced drama is the blog entry where a girl describes her encounter with Chris as he was wandering stores in search of his true love in late 2004, which can be viewed here.
Chris changes love interests far more frequently than he changes his underwear; it is speculated that he has fallen in "true love" like 50 times.
Trolled IRL
Trolling of Chris-chan has crossed the OL border into IRL. Whether internet vigilantes are trying to expose him for the psycho stalker he really is or if they fap to picking on retards, it's uncertain.
- The Game Place, a store where he volunteered, was soon subject to his antics when anon took several photos of him. See here for Chris QQing.
- An old classmate of Chris, Joshua Martinez, did some trolling. Chris knew him from his old school (Joshua and Chris both had Special Ed together), recently met up with him again and was getting along fine. Apparently, Joshua was very popular with women and had met some famous celebrities. For some reason, Chris became extremely jealous and even tried to get ED to go after him. Note that Chris only values Joshua's friendship because he's popular with women, and that by being friends with him he might end up laid. Unfortunately for Chris, even other special education kids will fuck with him. The chick that Joshua was supposed to hook him up with was just Joshua trolling him with a picture of Vanessa Hudgens. CLICK HERE for Chris-chan unwittingly fapping to Joshua.
- A girl IRL pranked Chris on a fake date. CLICK HERE to see Chris-chan get taken down to 15%.
- Though trolling in this next case started online, it quickly moved into IRL. Chris had started a relationship with an e-girlfriend called Blanca. On September 11, 2008, another troll going by the same name was really a black man in a pickle costume and managed to score horrific nudes. WARNING: DON'T LOOK AT IT.
- Watch Chris masturbate. No, srsly don't do it. On October 7, 2008, Blanca managed to get the medallions and destroy them.
CWC vs. ED
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Upon discovering this article on the 10th of November, Chris suffered a severe case of butthurt and declared war on every site mocking his Truth and Honesty. As with everything in his life, Chris fucked up.
At first, Chris tried tampering with this article while logged in as Reldnahc which is obviously "Chandler" (his last name) spelled backwards. Before erasing the entire article, Chris actually contributed by adding information that he hadn’t submitted anywhere else. Most of his additions were chunks of text from uncited sources which included how Megan “shattered his heart”, and printouts of the Sonichu News Dash: a shitty newsletter about his comic which he also distributed at PVCC that landed him in another apparent conflict with Mary Lee Walsh.
To make matters worse, he also uploaded Rule 34 of his own characters. All of his additions to the article can be found here
Later, when the context of the article finally dawned on Chris, he snapped. He created another account, Chris-chan, and tried blanking the page several times.
CWC blames Encyclopedia Dramatica for breaking up the relationship between him and Megan despite the fact that she was never his girlfriend. Just another lying attempt to make ED feel guilty about something.
In this video, Chris congratulated all his non-existent Sonichu fans whom he mistakenly believed brought ED down and further urged them not to donate to ED while failing to realize that ED's downtime was due to an issue related to the website as a whole, and not related to any drama around his article.
Chris's plea for his fans to not donate to ED flopped because the only people who pay any attention to Chris are precisely the ones who helped ED reach its donation goal on August 14, 2008.
CWC vs. ED Parte Deux
Last Thursday, Chrissy posted a video onto the tubes declaring yet another war against his ED page, demanding that the page and discussion page be deleted, or else he wouldn't be making any more of his sweet, sweet comics for his fans to enjoy. He then stated that much like the old adage: "Too many cooks spoil the broth", ED had too many CROOKS. And that "every single word on his ED page was a crook".
After standing in an anime pose with his fist in the air, Chris then hulked the fuck out and proceeded to beat the shit out of a Raggedy Ann doll with a picture of Clyde Cash taped to its face, and that more RAAAAAAAGE would follow if his ED page wasn't taken down posthaste.
The beast can be unleashed here.
CWCville
CWCville (Pronounced: Quick-ville) is Chris-chan's imaginary world. Considering how it's portrayed, its full name could be the Our Glorious Leader's True and Honest Lovers' City of CWCville, in a way similar to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
CWCville is actually two things: a fictional setting for the Sonichu comic, and Chris's long-ongoing pet project - many might call it a "happy place" and an imaginary refuge from the harsh reality. The two things overlap very much. It's sort of like his own personal Silent Hill - except that instead of being a twisted Hell full of violent rage and nightmare beasts, it's a disturbingly cheerful place where Chris's bouncy creations laugh, frolic, and fuck for his amusement exactly like Silent Hill. Characters are introduced without warning and fall by the wayside just as quickly; nobody's quite sure what becomes of them, but knowing Chris it probably involves anguished shrieks emanating from a love dungeon below the Mayor's house.
In the Sonichu comic book world, the town is allegedly located in the state of Virginia, but being a figment of Chris Chan's imagination, it will never be found on an actual map. Yet, in many ways, it seems the city is legislatively and economically cut off from the rest of Virginia and the United States. In this city, Chris Chan is a despotic mayor, where he controls everything at his own will and dictates new laws, granting him the basis of his megalomaniac tendencies.
Inside the comic, CWCville is at a fierce rivalry with neighboring city of "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens." It is under constant attack from the evil forces of Dean Mary Lee Walsh and her army of Jerkops.
Chris-chan and Morals
After seeing a hilarious episode of Family Guy, where Chris-chan didn't get that he was being parodied for his moralfaggotry, he decided to share his hatred of the gays with the Holy Bible. To do this, he quoted the book of Leviticus, which is the biblical equivalent of goatse, which reinforces how men should not engage in buttsecks lest they be smited to the pits of hell to be raped by the Devil and his minions for eternity (and also that men cannot shave, wear underwear with elastic straps, or crossbreed animals). Chris obviously didn't get the joke from the funny episode. He didn't realize that the character Stewie is just like him in one sense; they are both closet cases.
—Chris, in the process of being both. | ||
Unbeknownst to Chris, prolific hater of all things not Christian, 89% percent of the users trolling Chris-chan are Muslims. In another blow to Chris's moral credibility, he also decided to pick up a book on how to talk to the opposite sex...written by a 9-year-old boy. As the kid wrote it on how to talk to girls of his age, party vans descending on Ruckersville are imminent.
Sex Life
His "sex life" - if you could even call it that - includes, among other strnag phenomena, fucking an anime blow-up doll and screaming "JULAAAY!" at the top of his lungs.
—Chris-chan, on sticking things up his butthole. | ||
Chris wrote to Nintendo Power in April of 2005 to discuss the DS game Sprung: A horrible dating simulator, and was overjoyed to discover that they published his email. According to him, it was a "free personal", and he expects that it being published will somehow increase his chance of finding a woman.
In both his videos and comics, he has shown contempt towards gays, constantly rambling on about how homosexuality is bad, and repeatedly stating that he is not gay. Despite these statements, Chris's sexuality remains questionable, as he owns a dildo and anal beads and rambles on about sticking things in his ass while he masturbates. In his list of people he would not date, he lists autistics, high functioning or otherwise. Thus, Chris is also a self-loathing flaming faggot trying desperately to stay in the closet. And we all know homophobes are closeted gays themselves.
Chris appears to be stuck in a strange, child-like mentality where he feels guilty when discussing sex. Because of this, he is forced to use different words, like "pickle" and "duck" for dick, "hanky-panky" for sex, "boyfriend-free" for single, among other things. He started buying sex toys and porno videos back in 2006, and when discussing sex with other people (specifically Megan and a recent troll), he goes into intimate, almost scientific or educational detail. When Megan claimed to be uncomfortable with Chris discussing sex, Chris goes into full detail of how a handjob works and that he has learned everything he knows from pornography.
In recent audio recordings, we have discovered a lot about Chris's sexuality. Namely, he thinks that gender stereotypes, dirty talk, and cheesy lines like, "This might hurt a bit at first" are part of actual sex. One of the audio recordings has him describing his ideal "first time", which is intricate, overly dramatic and mildly retarded. This and many other disturbing things can be read here.
Gallery of Horrors
Chris-chan Subpage Navigation [Click to Open] |
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Rule 34
Rosechu
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Chris-Drawn rule 34
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"She has come for me".Poor CrystalPoor Megan. -
Looks like he beat us to it. -
Bubbles andBlackchuBlake fucking on a spade, further proof that Chris is Not Racist. -
Apparently Chris-chan imagines that women's vaginas would cry at the sight of him. For once he is 100% accurate.
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He ruined Mary Lee Walsh! -
Contrary to popular belief these ARE NOT PHOTOS, BUT WERE HAND DRAWN BY CHRIS HIMSELF! -
Rosechu comic hidden page. -
Rosechu pegging Sonichu? -
Now with less pickles! -
Silvana Rosechu is a dickgirl. -
Note how the head of his penis is as large as his head. -
Chris drew this to prove he's not a homo
Chris-Chan
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SOME OF THESE PICTURES ARE FUCKING DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED |
N00dz
—Chris-chan | ||
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It all started with this E-mail to fake Blanca. fake Blanca asked for noodz, fake Blanca got noodz, Chris threw a shitfit because he didn't want his peepee exposed all over the internet (I didn't save that conversation, sorry) and lulz were had by all. -
He wouldn't take Sonichu's head off his shlong at first, seriously. I think he wants Sonichu to give him fellatio. -
Only a straight man like Chris believes that a woman wants to see his anus. -
He shaves his cock because he asked Megan once how she likes it and she said she preferes shaven men. Also note the telltale redmarks under his moobs. This is evidence that Chris has worn/still wears a bra. -
Baby got back! -
If you look closely, you can see Sonichu... and your last shred of humanity slip away. -
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Crystal (plus your thousands of brothers and sisters), meet Sonichu! -
It is delicious Chris-chan cock, I must put my logo on it. Sad news for you, Chris, that broke-ass fucking thing won't fit in a vagina, unless it's similar in size to a toilet bowl. -
Loch ness monster or the queen from Alien? Either way its looking at the camera like its ready to attack. -
I spy a tumor IT'S NOT A TOOMAH -
Chris-chan fucking what appears to a pool float but is actually his anime sex doll, while calling out "Julie" the name of yet another genuinely interested sonichu girl. -
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Autistic Dick! -
Jerkop? Moar like JERKop, amirite?
Preop pics
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Fuck you internet.Srsly. -
It's a trap! -
Chris doing his weird ass cosplay for MLP at a weeaboo convention on August 2015. -
We're gonna need a bigger everything to kill it.
Shoops
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I'm not quite sure but this looks shopped. -
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Chris-chan's alternate title to his DVD. -
Chris-Chan posing as one of his famous relatives. -
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His poor dead dog -
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Chris Chan celebrating the holiday season -
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What was going through his mind. -
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Chris was so cash -
If only Chris-chan was emo. -
Even Google attempts to help Chris in his quest to find love. -
It's pretty much a given. -
A typical day in CWCville. -
Chris is a High Functioning Autistic. -
Method-acting is Methodical. -
Bane -
Non-sex photos, very few of these
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A photo of a round, unintelligent object.... and a basketball. -
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His younger, thinner, more Street Wise days. NOTE: Leaning against a graffiti covered wall instantly makes you more hip and sexually attractive! -
Another image that Chris uploaded to this article. How he ended up in this poor woman's house is a mystery.
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Chris’ greatest achievement is him getting close to a voice actor at an anime convention. Note the fear in her eyes, and the uneasy, forced smile. -
Why do I get the feeling that he's into bestiality?
Art
Fanart
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Not true, but might as well happen one day. -
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Chris want woman -
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Trolls, huh?
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He knew I was the nigga in the picklesuit impersonating Blanca again,yet he still sent me the pictures. It's like he wants the world to laugh at him or something. -
Chris-chan has anal sex with Clyde Cash. -
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The only reasonable and inexpensive idea he could ever fucking think of. -
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The evil Mary Lee Walsh -
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ENHANCED REMAKE -
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Epic win -
E-mail sender's art of Rosechu with pickles. -
A man for the women. -
Chris-chan in five years. -
Sonichu, I . . . -
Fatass loser, I . . . -
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Win! -
...I HAD TO CLEAN UP SOME CAT CRAP... -
The final battle. -
A metaphorical representation of Chris-chan's relationship with Mary Lee Walsh. -
Chris Chan in The Dark Knight -
Chris-chan: The Animated Series -
Rosechu with GOAR pickles. -
Found on 4chan's /b/. Depicting the true origin of Sonichu. -
Maybe Chris-chan just doesn't like spoofy, fucked-up parodies. -
Chris-chan, like many of us, has aspirations. -
SONICHU MAH BOI -
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"Yo-ho-ho, he took a bite of Autism!" -
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A warning to all anons -
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Sronikjew Hredgehawg -
Rosechu with MOAR Pickles! -
Latest Comic! -
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"OMG ORIGINAL CHARACKTERZ DO NOT STEEL! -
Zappin' to the Extreme. -
How to change fail intowinslightly less fail. -
Faggot version. -
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OC Battle! -
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Chris' Imaginary Twin Sister doesn't have a problem with the evil Mary Lee Walsh. -
fapfapfap -
Chris's mantra. (Dadaism) -
Posted on his site's shitty guestbook. -
The reason CWC hates black people. -
Even Furries don't like Sonichu. -
When Sega and Nintendo's dicks collide in the fertile mind of an Ass-pie. -
CWC gets his card crushed. -
CWC doesn't support gays but he DOES support pedos. -
CWC was finally deflowered at the hand of his own creation, ironically. -
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∗∗∗NEW∗∗∗ Full 3D Rendered FPS. Remember to Reload. -
If only Chris-Chan could trip balls, maybe his life wouldn't suck so much. -
Sonichu agrees, the wooden badge IS delishus. -
Meet him at HIGH NOON. -
LET'S GO GHOSTBUSTERS LET'S GO. LET'S GO LET'S GO -
Why else would you give someone an outfit? -
How the fuck does this work? -
It's-a-me! Mariochu!© (Original character) -
Chris-Chan loves it when you tell him that Sonichu is a registered trademark of anon. -
The best thing about being trolled by ED isn't taking disgusting nudes, it's showing everyone online I did. -
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A wild Sonichu has appeared. -
Be on the look out for Fruition brand pickles and sugar cookies. YUM! -
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We all know how furry CWC is. -
Her ovaries are inside of her like you asked... -
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Patti Chandler, one lucky dog. -
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Mediocre pic that Chris was impressed by, failing to realise it was troll art -
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This sums up the recent shenanigans of Chris. -
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Better times for Chris-Chan. -
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This is why Chris-Chan can't get a fucking job. -
Real Sonichu fanart? -
This is how you react to Chris Chan nudes. -
She was a true patriot. -
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Jason Kendrick Howell no longer needs his woman slave! -
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Sonichu meets Jissouseki! -
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The perfect gift for your sweetheart this holiday season! -
He's obviously a lady's man, in his own mind of course. -
This is easier on the eyes -
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New and approved! -
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Some Anon made Wiki realise that Jimmy Hill is the One True Sonichu Creator!!!1oneoneone1one1!!!!! -
Gather your pickles, it's the last round up partner -
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Time to swap sexes. -
Suck Satan's cock, and perhaps Sonichu will become a reality. -
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Artists that suicide become legends Chris :)! -
What happened to Megan? -
Someone requested a fetish picture of Rosechu. Srs. -
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Another date stolen! -
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It will happen eventually. -
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Chris-chan's "butt garments" -
By LittleCloud. -
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Bob Chandler -
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Chief Shits-in-Pants is angry that you have messed with the Cherokees. -
Chris Chan collectors card. -
Cloudy With a Chance of Pickles. -
CWCmas Delivery. -
Chris-chan got trolled by Arthur. -
Jewgrounds artist's take on Sonichu. -
Another jew joins in. -
See Asperchu -
CTRL ALT Delete made a comic on Chris-chan. Notice the axe. -
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A shoop showing what Chris was really thinking. -
I'd hit it,with my pickle. -
An artist's rendering of Chris and his true love, Julie. -
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An artists rendition of the Target incident when his pants were pulled down by the jerkops. -
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Sonichu Remade
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Why? -
WHY??? -
God! -
Oh, GOD!!! -
If only Chris knew...
Original Art
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Wishful thinking will get you nowhere. -
"About average... Athletic and toned... Slender..." -
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Racism? In MY Sonichu? Yeah, actually.
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Why do I get the feeling that he wants to suck a dick? -
Why do I get the feeling that he wants to fondle balls? -
Why do I get the feeling that he's a bondage freak? -
Why do I get the feeling that he wants to mongle some cocks? -
PLEASE KILL ME -
One of the many My Little Pony dolls Chris has made. Burn it with fire! -
He "creams" of getting married to his future sweetheart. Author-inserted fantasy much? -
There is seriously something wrong with this guy -
OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK -
"Do I believe the Official-Rule-Violating adamstackhouse, or do I believe the Honest, Autistic CWCSonichu?" -
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Chris makes the front page of his local alt weekly... just not as an hero -
Incest fantasy -
"Ah, yes, the 'bonus round' of honest, true love and romance..." -
This is so stupid it made me rage. (WTF, Lead guitar hero?) -
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CHRIS = GOD -
OH WOW, "Adult Chronicles" wasn't a joke after all! -
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"In the end, hell say, 'One girlfriend, please.' Because he'll probably fail again..." -
Sonichu + grape soda = Nigrachu. -
CWC's latest sweetheart?
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Yawning Squirtle after smoking a joint. -
An all-too-serious model of the ad Chris would like to see in a legitimate publication.
Various
Medallions
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Isn't that Crayola Model Magic? -
SEEEKRIT SYMBOLS -
A letter Chris sent with the medallions. -
An average /b/tard with his new Sonichu medallion.
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An overlapping comparison of the two medallions. -
Absolute proof that the medallion isn't actually a pussy deflector after all! -
Looks like Chris didn't get that medallion back, huh?
Email trolling
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MASTURBATIN' AND SQUIRTIN' has gone down in infamy. The same Anon shortly after drew the image he requested and send it off. -
Oh lawd... -
Oh lawd again... -
Do you think he'll like all these?
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Oh. I guess not. OH SHITS HE KNOWS!!11 -
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This won't end well.
Ebaumsworlds
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Chris-chan bought butt beads. No, srsly. -
He's a proud owner of Space Nuts:Collectors Edition. -
And he bought a love doll... -
As if that wasn't enough, he then purchased another love doll.
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Ah, yes, the Velvet Touch Masturbator, for the fine gentleman. May I recommend the Superstud Power Ring to go with that?
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Chris likes redlight girls!
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What a combo. Tommy Lee and Pam Uncensored and a Waterproof Pocket Rocket. Wait, Wat? Man, his ass needs lots of stimulation.
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And, to top it all off... A Booty Licious Love Doll.
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Chris sends his naked pictures to unsuspecting minors :(
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Ever wonder what Chris said to Megan to piss her off so much? (She's totally lying. If Chris was actually hot instead of ugly, Megan would bang him in an instant. Life is full of women banging and getting pregnant by dumb guys.) -
And wonder what she said to him? Ouch, burned!
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OMG HAX :-(
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Suddenly, pickles. HUNDREDS OF THEM.
Advice Chris
A spin-off of the original Advice Dog meme, Advice Chris employs the same premise of putting foolish advice or other dumb phrases on a colorful picture of a character's face. Where Advice Dog's background is a fairly simple rainbow pattern, subsequent Advice memes have adopted other patterns and color schemes. In the case of Advice Chris, the rainbow pattern is used, with Chris's head pasted in the center. While the text for Advice (X) memes can say virtually anything, the Advice Chris images are naturally expected to be somehow related to things Chris has said or done.
The meme has also been applied to fan-favorite character Yawning Squirtle, with the text typically referencing the dazed and confused look on his face.
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Chris wearing his mother's undergarments. -
Oh exploitable.
The End of Sonichu?
In the middle of 2010, Chris announced he was done with Sonichu forevers because the "trolls drained him of creativity." This is odd, because Chris had like no creativity to begin with. In reality, he just didn't care about drawing comics anymore. Many retards pine for the days of old-school Chris trolling, where he'd get his bloated ass kicked out of malls, but the thing is is that Chris is so lazy and drawing comics don't reward him with PSN trophies. His mother also told him to quit drawing the comics of him battling McDonald's managers.
August 30th 2010: PS3 Destruction
Three leaked videos (MovingFoward, MovingFurtherFoward, 100_2209.MOV) have appeared on the internets regarding his "Life Upgrade" (aka his PS3). He accidentally DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING on his PS3 Harddrive, and so to make a clean break of things, he ran over his PS3 with his car.
(WHAT?! They actually let him drive a car?!)
Sadly, this new direction in his life didn't last. He immediately went into withdrawal and spent his welfare money on a NEW PS3.
September 6th 2010
Chrissy posted a new video on Sept 6th, which can be viewed here. In it he informs us he is very much not dead, and infact alive, healthy and well. He also notifies us that he hasn't dug up Patti. Even if that is true, poor Patti will no doubt be dug up from under his porch sometime soon, as Chris cannot sleep at night knowing there is an animal corpse nearby he hasn't violated. He then rambles incoherently about how the trolls blow smoke, NO ONE IS GONNA LISTEN TO IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!. But hey, guess what? He is gonna regain control of his life and ignore the trolls, so they can't play with him any more. His final message? Haters gonna hate, plus an awesome string twirl.
Really, Really Gross Videos
- Chris drinks his jizz for Ivy!
- Spank dat ass!
- Chrissy in the shower! (Filmed on location at Jigsaws place.)
- Chris goes insane nude
- Chris makes love to his video game console!
2010 Endeavors
As of August 27, 2010, Chris is butthurt that his class of 2000 has yet to have a reunion, because at prom a movie said "See you in 10 years". Chris believes the school by law has to host a reunion. Most likely his class has seen his videos and has had the reunion and not invited his fat ass, or thought he was dead. It also appears he may be balding.
Chris has stepped up his war against trolls with a new masterpiece.
He advises people to turn them in at their work place and DEMANDS THEY BE FIRED! Or turn them in to the police. He mentions that God will smite the trolls.
As of November 22, it appears Chris has again gotten butthurt at not having friends on FriendFace and has quit the internet forever. Time will tell.
See Also
- Aspierations
- Aeverine Nieves - Chris-chan's tranny counterpart
- Desperate
- Prince Jeremy
- Spax3
- Victim complex
- Fat
- Retarded
- Pathetic
- Virgin
- Dying Alone
- The Real Chris Chan
- Chris-Chan/Psychological_Report
- Taking Down ED
- MysticArk
- Tooner14
- Ickeriss69
- David Tanny
Other Notable Retards with Sonic Recolors
- Blazesonic
- Chasethehedgehog
- Spax3
- sonicxkids hates Gary Oak =(
- Sonmanic (doesn't have a recolor, but still laff-worthy none the less)
- Ulrichthehedgehog
- Louisthehedgehog (same as Sonmanic)
Links
[1] (wiki all about the big C) PROTIP: If you wish to add a link, go here: Template:Chrischanlinks.
| Featured article August 5, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by YouTube View Fraud |
Chris-chan | Succeeded by Madeleine McCann |
| Featured article August 11, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by Al Gore |
Chris-chan | Succeeded by South Ossetia |
| Featured article April 1, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Girugamesh |
Chris-chan | Succeeded by Goodnight Sweet Prince |