MeleeKirby

Template:Fat

High caliber, bitches.

Srsly, they do.

CrAwLiNg iN mY SkIiIn

MeleeKirby, also known as Joshua Phillips irl was a whiny fucktard on deviantART, currently a furtard on FurAffinity. He has real skillz in MSPaint, much like chasethehedgehog. And by that, caliber you could never hope of matching. Recently, his artwork has improved, especially after being targeted by Chris Chan who claimed his was far better... and we know that anytime Chris Chan calls something has inferior to his, all negative claims against the accused immediately become dog cum.

Sorry, but your princess is in another castle

He draws fanart of Nintendo shit, and his fat Yoshi character named Jellybelly, otherwise known as JellyBitch. His Yoshi is loved by all and such a well developed character that he has a history written for him. What a champ that Jellybelly is!

He also claims to be misunderstood, but really aren't all fat people that way? To fix that, he goes to McDonald's to clog his arteries, as he once attempted to quit IRL by eating nothing but big macs. However, that plan failed because one of his many girlfriends convinced him otherwise, one being an imaginary fat purple Yoshi who looked like JellyBitch having a sex change.

Another interesting thing about this creature is that he suffers from Asperger's syndrome which makes life teh sux for him. So much he had to write a poem about it. However, this theory was proven untrue as he only made it up to get free moneys from the government in Scotland because he doesn't want to work.

When this sport isn't praising some Shigeru Miyamoto or Nintendo, or making masterpieces in MSPaint, MeleeKirby looks to earning ass kissing comments from his fans. Remember, you are a troll if you point out ANY MISTAKES IN HIS AMAZING WORK.

BEST FRIENDS EVAR

MeleeKirby PAID Virus-20 to make this for him.

Since Melee is an e-celebrity, this means he should have some srsly close friends. By friends, best friends forevar.

Lodoss-12

Melee's black person is Fockoss who is tired of the racism in his life ever since IHOP killed his parents. Either he's kissing Melee's ass or he's bitching about the man. To top it off, he faps to inflation art. Good god, why?

PsychicGirl

One of Melee's many ex-girlfriends whom he dated at least 100 times is PsychoBitch. She's usually crying over being alone on her journal or to people on MSN. Srsly, save it for MySpace, you silly drama llama. When she's not roleplaying her death, she's usually looking to date some guy she only knows via internets. Her amazing fanfiction can be viewed right here.

An interesting note about Psycho Bitch is that she has dated over nine thousand guys. Of which, she dumped, for one reason or another. No idea what went wrong there, but I'd assume it had something to do with her end of the relationship. Bad sex perhaps? Then again, she has another retard baby every two weeks or so. She probably has about 10,000 kids in her basement right now. Anyways, there is one person who has dated her for the lulz in how she takes Internet relationships seriously. She's currently dateless for the time being and probably goes about her life RPing about how emo she feels to herself these days.

Yoshi34052

A furry who was once bum buddies with Melee. Nowadays he lusts for Werechu. He has already received the ban hammer at least 100 years ago, but continues to bitch about his ban to this very day. Also provides unwarranted self-importance, thus only receives a mere mention as another footnote on ED, much his dismay. He's been known to date little girls several years younger than himself, so not only is he a fat furry faggot, he's also a pedophile. The pedophile claims were thrown out when the person making them stepped forward and reveal themselves to be Chris Chan by openly ADMITTING he'd done it and would continue to do it until everyone was in the Westboro Baptist Church as well as him and his lover, Fred Phelps, not only making himself look insane, but setting gay and autistic people alike back 100 years. Way to go, Chris... you're a fucking embarrassment to our species. If anyone deserves suicide, it's you man, it's you.

InvaderMar

Melee Kirby's douchebag of a sister. Mar believes she is the center of the universe and all life matter depends on her very existence. Too bad she's just a typical 16-year-old girl who faps to Invader Zim and believes she can have sex with him and gets far more attention than she even deserves. Even her fatass brother has whined and bitched that she's more popular than he ever was. A potential weeaboo, though more research is needed to clarify this. So to summarize: Typical self-lover Invader Zim fanbrat - just the type of person we want on our internets! It was later pointed out a majority of this info was given from an unreliable source, namely someone who we'll just call CWC, who was jealous that Mar and Melee Kirby both have art skills far better than him and his pathetic Sonichu comic. This was just his puny pathetic way of trying to make his own dick look bigger, even though we know it's so small it's practically concave.

Puff

A PERMANENTLY BANNEDhighly original Kirby fancharacter who looks exactly like the original, except she has a red bow. She's been in more relationships with Melee Kirby than all the Big Macs he's ever eaten. She craps out pencil masterpieces and expects to get a stadium full of adoring fans, then turns into an emo bitch when she doesn't. She's stopped drawing altogether, but has decided to stay on deviantART to write long whiny journals every few months or so. Recently another user and former friend to Puff admitted that she'd tampered with Puff's gallery and journal, writing the long journals posted. It is believed that it could have been one of Chris Chan's FEW friends, emphasis on FEW, trying to show pity for the sack of shit.

Leaving deviantART

Because Melee is so popular, he obviously has people who see his masterpieces as shit, but hopes his fans would cover up that fact. Due to the critique he received that didn't involve kissing his ass, he decided he must take action and leave deviantART.

On the other hand, he's been receiving criticism since at least 100 years ago and made a rant addressing it. Take note how there are not many people who have logic.

Returning last Thursday, he still received comments that did not kiss his ass, and so he left again. To this day, he hung out with furries at FurAffinity, but later ditched his yiffin' pals for camera whoring on youtube, then left.

It was later revealed that he had not left willingly, but a disgruntled user, envious of his skillz, had conspired to take down the account. He succeeded in his attempt, but left himself open to having his own deviantART account hacked and his computer infected with the dread Ebyte virus, rendering it more useless than Chris Chan's brain.

Religion

Imma' gon' keel you wit mah lens flare sword.

	“	Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft are like religions to me. I have to choose which I have faith in and I stand by Nintendo all the way	„
	—MeleeKirby

It is important to know that Melee strongly believes in Nintendo. It is his religion, or so he claims, because if you buy any products from Microsoft or Sony, you committed a sin. Go kill yourself if you even think about buying a Playstation 3 or Xbox 360, because that's just wrong. lol Nintendo fanboy.

YouTube Account

(12/27/06) A new discovery has been made, as MeleeKirby has received the banhammer on YouTube. How it happened is unknown, but some speculate he posted pictures of himself with his manboobs.

...'Course, one of the people long known for supposedly "harassing" him left a comment on his page, a few hours prior to his "ban". One would assume he might have requested for his account to be deleted in fear of producing more lulz from shitting himself. It was later revealed it was Chris Chan who had harassed him and upon being found out, Chan threw up on a police officer and then sued him for harrassment, making it clear he was more insane than ever and that Melee's targeting was not an isolated incident as Chan had targeted several well known users including Shane Dawson, Fred, and IJustine, making it clear Chris Chan has a thing for fapping to underage girls.

Currently

Currently, MeleeKirby resides back with his yiffing pals on his FurAffinity account. Once leaving, this fatass firmly stands at this site for the fact he believes he's an overweight Kirby. Geez, he went from e-celeb to furry fandom. Not like it's much of a difference, as he fails both ways.

When he's not fapping to his creation, Pikaman, he's creating shitty fat art and being the standard basement dweller that is a furfag to boot. To those who catch hold of this, it's best to let him know the Internets never forgets his faggotry from deviantART and troll him for great justice. Just don't be surprised when he blocks you sooner or later, but it's nothing a little mass account making can't fix.

Raalin Lulz

At least 100 years ago, a group of so-called "haters" of MeleeKirby decided to stir up some lulz. After being blocked on MSN and AIM, they decided to fake a name in an attempt to contact the fatass. That said, they made up the name Raalin and begun to get a kick out of it.

• Chatlogs are saved to this link.

It was later discovered that a couple greifers had made up the name and decided to press their luck by targeting Hellsing920 and AVGN, needless to say they were found out as fucktards and Raalin was turned into a child pornography user, summarily getting it banned and making the chatlogs as useful as Jack Thompson's dick.

Future Porn Star Perhaps?

Warning! Your eyes might get raped for viewing the following pictures. SRSLY.

Yes people, he is one. Typical fatass who can't get laid, probably for being a Nintendo fanboy basement dweller who tries to hook up with 12-year old kids. Unfortunately, it was later found out again that Chris Chan's mentally retarded mind had convinced himself to assume Melee's name and use a picture taken years ago to make himself look stupider than usual, since by the time he'd posted the pictures, Melee had lost a small bit of weight thanks to eating healthy... at least by a fatass's standards, which by the way he is proud of like half of America... Which begs the question, who was the pedophile in the picture. For lulz sake, it could be assumed that it was one Christian Weston Chandler. So it's the sux for Chris not even getting a current picture. What a moron!!!

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  Yes, he has man boobs.
• 
  No
• 
  God why

Masterpieces of an Artist of the Highest Caliber!

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  Typical inflation art.
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  Pokemon inflation art. Couldn't get any worse.
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  DO NOT WANT
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  Mandatory Sonic fancharacter. Recolored Tails, amirite?
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  Obviously, black Kirbies mean evil, fo sho black person.
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  What the hell was he on when he drew this?

Journals

For dramas and lulz which involve our lovable fatass to wallow in his depression. Maybe he'll quit IRL soon.

• Life is teh sux

• WOE IS ME

• My hopes and dreams shattered into a thousand pieces of sorrow

• I feel unloved :(

• Hax in MY AIM? Blasphemy!

• No one can't match my high caliber. Take note of the public criticism, yet he does not like criticism himself. Ironic, amirite?

an hero is the only way he can win

External Links

• MeleeKirby "Account Discontinued" but subscribed...
• Melee Kirby's ShittyART
• Melee Kirby at FurAffinity
• MeleeKirby's FA Account II: The Return
• His inactive Newgrounds account since 2005
• His Twatter, currently active

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