Tofer
Tofer is part of a series on
FAT FUCKING FURRIES.
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- Anailaigh
- Angel Meiru
- Auchimura
- ButLova
- Dragonbreeder
- Dragomike
- Fatferaligatr
- Fesazukichan
- Inflatablewolfi
- MeleeKirby
- Mikemedia
- GillPanda
- OmniverseGirl
- Onigojirakaiju
- Onyx Forepaw
- Oz Kangaroo
- Rubbertex Raccoon
- Samael
- Sandythewolfhusky
- SarahChihuahua
- Tofer
- Tolstoy
- TrufflesforYou
- Two-Ton-Neko
- ZS3
- Zero Whitefang
—God, on the 6th Day of Creation | ||
Like any factory, defects slip through. Unfortunately, you don't get a receipt in this case.
Inflation artists... Where do we start? Artists from this particular slum of the Internets are always a dime a dozen, though the inherent amount of fail of some stands out much more than the contributions of others. (see: Auchimura) While this particular star of the article may have more talent than the given example, though that's definitely not saying much, he surely offers a nigh-endless amount of extreme, horrible, mother-fucking, cock-sucking, cum-guzzling FAIL instead.
This... is Tofer (Powerword: Christofer Bray), the Legend Inflator... at his flattering finest.
Origins of the Legend Inflator
Fourscore and seven years ago the sexual activities between a male akita and a female crow, blessed by the malevolent powers of Satan himself (moar sauce needed), put forth upon this universe an abomination... An abomination so cruel, so vile, one cannot fathom the horrors that rush down one's spine when they find this beast looking at you. Imagine, if you will, a one-winged, humanoid Akita with brown fur and black head-hair, clad in only silver tights and boots, who always has some expression between taking a shit and psychosis under his moustache, staring at you with his neon-pink eyes.
...What? Did I fucking stutter?
I'm not making this shit up, people!
As one can see, this specimen is so unique, he gave himself a "black anger wing". Let's repeat that again, shall we? Black... Anger... Wing... Due to this, Tofer, as a character, is completely original and awesome in design... design that can only be taught at a prestigious art college, which is something that shall be inspected later.
What exactly does the title "Legend Inflator" mean? Does it mean that he inflates great, wonderous, legendary furfags like Virus-20? Does it mean that he's simply an inflator that proclaims himself to be legendary? Perhaps he's just completely retarded... I think everyone knows the right answer to this question of the ages.
So how did he earn the title of "The Legend Inflator"? Self-proclamation. How else? This lolcow would make any inflation fan proud with the size of his inflated self-worth. One may say he's overcompensating for something, but it sure isn't his ego. Some scientists collaborated that, on December 21, 2012, Tofer's ego shall reach critical mass and detonate, in an event not unlike the Big Bang, wiping out all life in the Universe as we know it. There shall be no escape... no refuge. It is a fate that all have to accept. Either that, or become a victim of his acts, which are much akin to those of a serial killer.
And now, for you viewing pleasure, a gallery of him and his ancestors, doing what he does best...
There you have it... It is pure, unadulterated fact. In 3000 BC, the prehistoric ancestor of Tofer, a smart Cavefur by the name of Tofur (Not Tofer, That's in the modern days...), decided to be inventive and create the very first inflation weapon... (Sauce found here) A footpump and hose... in 3000 BC, and if the future is any indication, he'll have the technology to inflate victims in outer space without the joys of explosive decompression! Are we losing brain cells yet? Perhaps Tofer should just do this to save us from any more hellspawn...
Then again, how would we get continued lulz from such an asshat?
From Humble Beginnings to Greatness
With every artist comes the quest for improvement. Tofer is an exception to the rule. He needs no improvement, because he is a legend. Also, his peers know talent when they see it.
—none other than everyone's favorite Kex Andy, one of the Legend Inflator's numerous peers | ||
Tofer Is a shitty artist that gets praise and his ego stroked by his furfag fan following. His art's not that good; it looks like he tries too hard and overdoses on Photoshop filters.
Tofer truly is a motivated furry. So motivated, that for being at the bottom of the cesspool already, he's sure trying to see if he can dig the hole to a brand new low. Let's take a look at the evolution of his talent over the course of a year, shall we? Keep in mind that he goes to a prestigious art college. That could only help, right?
But wait! I hear you asking: "What is this presigious art college that keeps getting mentioned?"
Glad you asked!
Higher Learning
Every artist starts sometime. Some start at a ripe, early age. Some simply start too late. Tofer, easily put, was the latter. To rectify this though, the Legend Inflator made a pact with Cthulhu (or, was Kex Andy?), and thus, Tofer was given a full scholarship to a prestigious art college... An art college so ashamed, that it shall never be named. Don't believe this? See for yourself!
—Tofer, totally proclaiming something that is 100% truth | ||
—Says tofer on his come back ID on deviantART | ||
What's this? A school that allows one to learn the skills of Leonardo Di Vinci and how he painted the inflated Mona Lisa, or even Michelangelo and his painting of the inflated Sistine Chapel? How intriguing! Needless to say, many lulz were had at the claim. One even stated this about it...
—Someone who had epic lulz at Tofer's claim | ||
There also was some surprised chap was rather surprised at the completely non-ludicrous claims of the Legend Inflator, completely baffled at the thought of a college that existed for drawing inflation.
—Surprised chap who was rather shocked at the completely non-ludicrous claims of the Legend Inflator | ||
—Said one of the people tainted by the legend Inflator. | ||
The precocious Tofer was more than happy to answer our surprised chap.
—a precocious Tofer, answering a surprised chap's question | ||
—the girl that Lulzed him out on msn | ||
—Says one of his EX friends that turned on him for the lulz. | ||
How kind of Tofer to point out that video game design means you make your own video game. So awesome. I'm sure no one knew what that meant. Thanks to a candid cameraman whose name shall not be disclosed, we spotted Tofer when he discovered this:
There's proof in the pudding thanks to the photograph taken... Inflation art studies... The Art Institute College haz it. Though, it is evident by the evolution of his artwork seen previously, he surely didn't gain any sort of improvements in talent by going to his esteemed alma mater. Perhaps, though, he did get one thing from his quest for higher learning... and that would be...
Originality!
Let's give you a multiple choice question... What do all four of these pics have in common?
A) All of these pics suck.
B) All of these pics blow.
C) ...? (These pics have made your remaining brain cells dissolve. Our condolences...)
D) Hey, wait! You're being sarcastic. That's not originality at all!
E) All of the above
If you selected anything else but E, the utter stupidity of the subject at hand has been lowering your intelligence score much too low. On the other hand, if you have continued to succeed rolling your Willpower saving throws and picked E, congratulations! This is the true belly of the beast: his Originality...
Perhaps it was said too soon... It was a silly statement to say one could learn originality. If anything, all sarcasm aside from the opening gallery of this segment, Tofer has originality in droves... droves of epic proportions. One could say that the amount of his originality only pales in comparison to his ego. Unfortunately, originality =/= good. In this case, originality = extreme mindfuck. Here's a montage of Tofer's originality at its greatest, mindfucking levels.
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What is this trash? Oh yeah... it's inflation via trash. 100% Original!
But wait, there's more! He's not just original with his own ideas. Tofer also gives his original takes on some legendary franchises! I mean, it would take a Legend Inflator to make a tribute to a Legend Franchise, right? ...Right?
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A real trifecta of fail going here. Tofer cosplaying as the God ofWarInflation, inflating the souls of that dog from Johnny Test, and a Pokemon. What a crossover, and full of originality too!
Better yet, run for the fucking hills... especially if you did something to cross him, or give him his own medicine. If you were one of these confused souls, may God have mercy on your soul. The Legend Inflator sure won't. That is certain, as he will open up a horrifying can of...
Revenge, with Your Name On It
—Tofer, on his most shining traits. | ||
Evil, cunning, and maniacal? Yes. Artistic, kind, and helpful? Sorry, but I think Kevin Spacey has something to say about that.
Cwitobuh, da Legen Inflador
That's right, folks! He has a speech impediment!
See Also
Links
His FurAffinity tofer18
His DevianTART Tofer17 OMG SO ORIGINAL!!!1
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Tofer is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Tofer is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |