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Gorgeous George: Difference between revisions
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==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 18:48, 2 March 2014
It all started when a Something Awful goon named Dr. Quinn first spotted George Alexander Yarid on public access:
- There's a public/cable access host here in Richmond, VA who calls himself Gorgeous George. He's a big fat son of a bitch with greasy hair, ill-fitting clothes and a heavy dose of self-delusion. And he also looks like L. Ron Hubbard amirite? He's sort of a local celebrity - just about everyone I know has had some sort of real-life encounter with him. He's been hosting his little call-in show for about the past 10 years, I think, although my friends and I only discovered it maybe 3-4 years ago. Anyway, needless to say, we had no choice but to prank-call him relentlessly. Unfortunately, he was only on maybe 12 weeks per year.. but we made those weeks count. During any given episode, we had at least half a dozen cellphones dialing in, the end result being that literally about 90% of the calls he received were us insulting him.
Gorgeous George
—Gorgeous George, gracing us with yet another elusive universal truth | ||
George Alexander Yarid, aka Gorgeous George (born July 16, 1968), is 45 and still lives in a tri-level house with his mother (GG ate his mom) a rapist. It is a decent house in a decent neighborhood, but it's not the mansion George likes to say it is on TV. Alimony money pays for it and his mom must have been pretty tolerant to let her retard son live with her for nearly 40 years. Gorgeous George used to deliver food for a living. Now he sells coupons hosts karaoke nights on occasion. Fun facts about GG:
—Gorgeous George | ||
—Gorgeous George | ||
- Although he rants against fat chicks, they seem to be the only type of girls who will show up on his show.
- He often claimed that his show was getting picked up by UPN while it existed. Not surprisingly, though, he's still on public access.
- He often wears a t-shirt with his own picture on it.
- He thinks he's God's gift to women. He also thinks he's an absolutely hilarious sketch-comedian.
- A female Richmonder put up a personals ad on a local phone-based dating service. After a couple days, she received a cocky but friendly message in her inbox from George. The next day, another. A couple days after that, a less friendly, more aggressive message. And it went on and on for two weeks, each message getting more and more angry. "You're lucky I would even lower myself to talk to you, you stupid bitch!" and so on.
- He is, in fact, not particularly gorgeous.
- He is thought to be
a bisexualgay. - He refuses to admit he's a greasy cunt wad.
- He constantly trips on his own fat gut.
- In cockney rhyming slang, any person who exhibits these traits is referred to as a "cheddar" (Cheddar Gorge; Gorgeous George).
- His constant hooting and repetition of verbal diarrhea in the form of swear words and predictable insults is most likely the result of Tourette's Syndrome and/or inbreeding.
- He has spoken about the Church of Sollentolgy and Jehovennis Witness.
- He fucked Rick Derris on a pool table and broke it.
But before you make your judgment about George, check out one of his hilarious skits.
Gorgeous George Plagiarizes The "Herlihy Boy" Skit
Here's a skit of GG ripping off the "Herlihy Boy" that was done on Saturday Night Live by Adam Sandler and Chris Farley. Only to have GG ruin it by his so called "humor"
Thankfully a Goon felt they couldnt just stand back and allow for this "Tradgey" to happen without any consequences.So the goon decided to critque George on his plagiarism of the "Herlihy Boy" skit and rip him a new one. Just like GG rips the Trannies he fucks a new asshole.
Some of The Calls
—Gorgeous George, articulate as usual | ||
Gorgeous George is known for DMCAing videos faster than you can upload them
—Gorgeous George | ||
GG Sux fever has spread worldwide and is on every video sharing site through out the world. Recently his videos were uploaded to tudou.com which is based in Taiwan. If you know anything about Taiwan is blatant disregard for copyright laws. There motto in English roughly translates in to “Censorship in any practa… in any, any, any verbiage, in any proximity of the word is is a blatant crime.” Which is where GG got his expression from. Also this the longest running GG channel on the netz (that hasn't been false flagged) and with each day that goes by GG's butthurt deepens. XD
GG on tudou arranged by most views
Gorgeous George Show
—Gorgeous George | ||
—Gorgeous George | ||
The Gorgeous George Show is the television equivalent of AIDS. The show itself is about as comedic as watching your parents die of cancer, and then engaging in unprotected penetrative sex with a putrid dead porcupine with a maggot festering case of hemorrhoids (but at least that would smell better). George and his retarded lap dog, Kevin, both have severe speech impediments. The production values make the average Christmas morning home movie look like Werner Herzog by comparison. The jokes themselves are only funny if you've never been allowed to leave your house in your whole life, and have therefore never been introduced the concept of humour until just seconds prior to seeing it, and the likely result of that would be for you to immediately develop a phobia of anything calling itself comedy or humour for the rest of your sad life. In many respects, the show provides an archetypal example of why cable access television is a gigantic failure, while simultaneously contributing the sole reason to preserve it. In any given episode, you can expect to be treated to any one or more of the following EnGorgeous George trademarks:
- GG yelping like he's being penetrated in the ass with cactus skin condoms.
- His retarded sidekick, Dogfucker Jones, who looks like Squeak from the Academy Award winning film, Baseketball. Apparently he's not allowed to speak much. Doing so causes small children in Africa to catch Syphillis.
- Some random black guy who looks ashamed to be in the studio.
- Some random Asian martial arts instructor who immediately gives up martial arts for life after a Karate demonstration by George, also leaving said Asian with life long night terrors.
- Fat chicks miming Britney Spears. This has negative sexual arousal value (DErections).
- Random female guests (almost exclusively drug addicts or prostitutes or both) who's only purpose is to sit and laugh nervously at GG's jokes while he stares at their breasts.
- The crappy introduction to his show.
- "Gorgeous George's Donkey Penetration Extravaganza".
- GG attempting to do karate and collapsing under his own fat.
- GG being fat.
- A strange white discharge lodged in his hair.
- GG drinking his own urine and fellating a whole circus, while assorted 10 year old boys rub his fat ass down in Crisco.
- GG knowing that 99.9% of his calls are insults and yet he still takes calls.
- George beating Kaye Lazar for talking.
- You know what? Fuck this. Gorgeous George is just a fucking mess. Abandon hope, all ye who enter in. When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares also into you. Watching a segment that does not feature him being insulted via phone repeatedly, has no point. You will just come away feeling like you've been hit by a mac truck of pure fucking idiocy (or a pasty moist object of equivalent weight). I remember sitting down to watch it one night; I was left with this feeling I shall never describe. It's worse than disappointment. It is the feeling of your soul slipping away through your hands. Gorgeous George is that stray dog at the pound. You know which one. That 13 year old mangy cobbled together mutt found chained to a post on I-80. Instead of being lovable and friendly though, it's meaner than piss and just sits there all day and pisses and shits itself. For the love of Jesus Fucking Christ on a Stick, I hope nothing good comes of this guy, ever, or that his sphere of influence ever expands outside of a crowd capable of grasping irony.
- Every episode ends with a montage of GG taking an 18 inch dildo from multiple angles. This montage goes on for 25 minutes (metaphorically speaking).
The Prank Calls
As time went on and the prank calls continued they became a Richmond pastime. As more people jumped on the GG insult train it gained critical velocity and turned into an unstoppable lolz-train bound for dramatic trainwreck. There were several GG prank call clips released to record the lolz for those who do not have Richmond public access. These clips became immensely popular on the SA forums.
According to George's website, "These so-called internet geeks obviously have too much time on their hands. Most of them are college drop-outs or science fiction nerd computer game Star Wars goons who are all sons of bitches!!!"
Somehow Gorgeous George found out that his show was being distributed on the Internet without his consent. This led to him going on an insane rant on his show about how he was going to sue everyone involved for copyright infringement, RIAA style. Thankfully GG never figured out how to make a DMCA request!
During this episode George stopped taking phone calls, but in the next episode he states that the public access administrators (who hate the fat fucker just as much as we do) told him that he had to take calls, and the pranks immediately resumed.
Here are some examples of the memorable calls people have made:
Pranksters Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote
The Zopilote Era
When zopilote moved to Richmond, the first thing that popped into his head was to go fuck with Gorgeous George. He took one of his friends with him and visited the studio after GG's show, making his best attempt to make friends with Gorgeous George. He pulls a promise out of Gorgeous George to let him be a guest on the next show. Project Georgehem had begun.
A massive effort began on livejournal, some Richmond forums, and on the VCU campus to organize a mob to flood the public access studio during GG's next show. On the day of GG's next performance, several phone-calls were made by interested parties to ensure that GG would actually be on that night. All responses were positive: Gorgeous George's show would go on. Shortly before the show, the crowd gathered outside Richmond's Siegel Center. A cursory headcount revealed a figure around 50 people.
Upon reaching the TV station, zopilote banged on the door and waited for a representative of rva public access to speak to. No answer. He tried several times. Still nothing. It didn't take long for the mob that followed him to begin assisting, banging on all the doors and windows and screaming a frequent taunt such as "COME ON OUT AND FACE US, YOU FAT FAGGOT!" However, inside the studio Gorgeous George was not there to answer their demands. His show had been spontaneously canceled to make way for an interview with the man running as a Presidential candidate for the Libertarian Party, Michael Badnarik. Given the circumstances, the staff of the public access TV studio came to the only logical conclusion: that a rogue pro-establishment terrorist group had come to assassinate the Libertarian candidate. They called the police, and within minutes there were more flashing lights outside the TV studio than there are at a rave. Faced with armed and angry law enforcement agents, the crowd dispersed.
George Strikes Back
On 30 June 2005, just two days after this article first went live, George sent Weev the following highly erotic e-mail (Note: emails are sic):
That disturbing picture that you sent through e-mail was viewed by others. (SUCH AS AN HENRICO INVESTIGATOR).
Keep the shit up and you will end up in cell with worthless faggots like yourself showing you which way is up. All your other loser friends at VCU can rot in hell . If there are any more disturbing pictures that are sent through my e-mail, there will be problem on your hands. You do not know who your fucking with. Your the new poster child to carry the torch for those losers from the joke of a show Wednesday night crap explosion. Just know any vulgar pictures , such of what you sent this past Monday, is consider a felony. Do your fucking
homework. Keep the shit up and we will see who gets the last laugh.
Within the hour, he sent another one:
I know that a bunch of you assholes get off on somebody else's problems. You all are a bunch of pissants that
are miserable with yourself. Pushing my hot buttons talking about my girl Sue. Sue is doing fine and is getting the help she needs. I talk to her at least once a week and she and I have made peace with one another. She has a support group that help and she knows that I'm only phone call away. It is true that I had some odd jobs here and there, bartending, doing catering events and working as a D,J for private parties that I do. Also have my own personal business that I'm making a lot of lute and enjoy doing. So otherwords my plate is full. It is true that I have a second house windsor farms that I recently purchased over a year ago , plus my house in the west end. I also buy houses , get them fixed up and then resale them. So once again I have hands in different projects. Lastly, I have worked hard in getting my show in other markets . So I do not need bunch (sic) of compulsive
masturbators, such as you turdlings, needing to be concerned with my endeavours. George
Conclusion: (sick)
Gorgeous George and the Denny's Debacle
Rumor has it that sometime in the 90's, George became confrontational with a person who he supposedly overheard talking smack about him and his shitty public access show. This is what allegedly happened The G.A.Y. was eating there and he over heard this guy named Matt talking shit about his FAT ASS from a few booths away. Matt was with his little brother and his girlfriend. Fat G.A.Y. yarid went over and confronted Matt. G.A.Y. then said some SICK SHIT to matt's TEN year old brother and took matts keys! So matt told GG they were? gunna take it outside!
Matt was walking out the door and turned around to clock the 350 pound douche when the fat pig tried to sucker punch him! Too bad when? he did GG tripped on his FAT GUT and matt landed a haymaker and a roundhouse kick to the shit's FAT COCK SUCKING FACE! when GG tried to get up, matts HOT SEXY EROTIC girlfriend rushed outside and pulled out a can of mace from her purse and PWNED him with it! The cops came and took the fat away, George was crying the whole time. George admitted this happened on the hooker vid, he should remember it as he was the only one at Denny's over 350 lbs!
Fat Fuck goes on a tirade
Recently Mr. No-Sense-Of-Humor decided to whine and bitch to YouTube that his videos from his show are being used without his permission (In other words he pulled a DMCA card from the same pocket he keeps his twinkies in) Being the selfish Mama's boy he says "...and what I have on youtube on GG on DVD account are the ones and only ones related to Gorgeous George that are going to be on there." In the same weezing breath he also admits there is nothing he can do about people making videos with his likeness. So apparently if you want to put GG's head on a turd while he does the Cha Cha that's OK.
While watching the videos you'll notice a couple of things:
- His desk is cluttered with trash.
- He stole a bunch of trophies from Salvation Army.
- He still uses Video Tapes which makes sense because his sense of aesthetics hasn't changed since George Michael was in the closet.
- He got a dirty Sanchez from Kevin.
- He has a mullet.
- He put on another 100 pounds.
Unfortunately, GG took down those videos off of Youtube but thanks to the Taiwanese you can watch GG's butthurt again in it's original glory.
Here's The Truth (Part 1)
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/AOl-F3WntIU/
Here;s The Truth (Part 2)
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/6CjqIkoYOyE/
Gorgeous George battles youtube
From time to time George will actually create multiple accounts and argue with other Youtube users on this video. Oh the irony.
Heres a list of usernames he has used
GGonDVDGGshowrules(he actually got this account back. So he now uses "ggshowrules" and "ggshowrules2"GGstrikesbackgorgeousgeorgestrikePlatinumdracula- GGshowrules2 (main YouTube account. Say something witty, especially about Sue, then prepare for a witty retort and expect to get blocked.)
- GorgeousGeorge01
- Sonofatwix
- ReddFoxxReturns
- fishpotpie
- ReddFoxx888
- GEORGEYARID
- GGISSEXY
- marley101999
sandylovelace69Yanksyankshissausage- MrSpamIAm
Nuclearfurnature- poop121
- dtheshank
- ggrespectnow
gorgeousgeorgeshow- ggandklazar
TheMaverick- NotGorgeousGeorge
- GGthaMAN
- GGSmexy
TheKnobnose- GorgeousGeorgeonDVD
- IngloriusBastard11
kelly2086- GeorgeAlexanderYarid
There is many more that are unaccounted for as well!
George now plans on suing Youtube!
- "Looks like YOUTUBE IS GOING TO BE SUED. JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED." - ggshowrules Epic LULZ will definitely ensue!
link to the page where George writes about being butthurt and confirms he plans on suing youtube
Then, in a shocking turn of events GGonDVD (The fat pig's main base) was taken down completely, most likely for disgusting and VILE content of George DANCING WITH A HOOKER!
George spouted some butthurt threats that were nothing the goons hadn't encountered from the fat before, this time it was more like a death keel, a squealing pig refusing to be put down.
July 20,2010 George made a new account 'GorgeousGeorgeonDVD' reuploading some of his old videos that had got taken down on his GGonDVD account for ToS. Before you know it this account will also get banned as well for ToS
The Gorgeous OST's
Once thought to be lost under GG's left moob all three Gorgeous Sound tracks have been found.
Put Cock Here
This is the official GG OST containing almost all the music that has been featured on his show as well some songs that have been used to troll him. Some of the songs included are the cheesy dance songs he used to dance with those prostitutes there are also bonus tracks including his theme song as well as some GG remixes.
The Day That Hometown Buffet Closed
All songs on this album are related to GG's obesity. Not only can he pounce you with one but he can crush you under the weigh of his billion tons of that bacon grease body of his.
The Day That Hometown Buffet Closed
Inside The Closet With GG
This album centers around GG's G.A.Y.ness. Remember folks just because you were caught at a gay club sucking dick at a gloryhole that doesn't make you gay. After all it's completely straight if you want to fuck a chick with a dick, just no dudes. No G.A.Y. stuff for George on craigslist.
The Crologies of GG
Moar info: Gorgeous George/The Crologies of GG.
2007
2008
2009
2010
- Gorgeous George show 1994-2010
- Fat Pig Lied, There WAS a 2010 season!
- The G.A.Y. Life
- Space Mountain Barges on Richmond radio
- Gorgeous George is losing his "MANSION"
2011
- Gorgeous George show 1994-2010
- You Take The Cake George
- Gorgeous George Show Season 17(and potentially last...nah GG is being a drama queen)
2012
- Something Awful thinks GG is passe
- G.A.Y. the False Flaggot
- Gorgeous George 2012 Radio Show (June 2012)
- Gorgeous George goes on a tirade against the internet for the 3rd year in a row! (7-23-2012 edition)
- August 2012 Exposing Incidents
2013
Allies of teh Fat
Moar info: Gorgeous George/Allies of teh Fat.
Axis of Teh Fat
Moar info: Gorgeous George/Axis of teh Fat.
List of LOLsuits
Moar info: Gorgeous George/List of LOLsuits.
- Lolsuit (2010 Edition)
- GG files another LOLsuit (2012 Edition)
- LOLsuit (2013 Edition)
- Copyright Fail
- Here We Go Again. Another LOLsuit (2014 Edition)
- Gorgeous George Criminal Record "What's causin' all of this?"
Christian Weston Chandler is half brothers with the Gorgeous George
Bob Chandler was living in Richmond Virginia back in 1967, he was working for the Coca-Cola distribution center where one night at a singles bowling league. He met up with Edith Hensley. While they bowled together they drank themselves into oblivion where they spent the night at the blue bird motel off of route 64. Bob stayed with Edith for a few months until he found out she was pregnant with Gorgeous George. He was transfered over too Ruckersville and left without telling Edith and never saw them again. Some years later Bob met Barbara and the rest is history. George never met his father nor his brother Christian even though the two are completely alike.
1. They are both fat.
2. They both have mantits.
3. Women (and people in general) hate them.
4. They're both failures.
5. They live within 50 miles of each other
6. One drinks his own spooge the other has it in his own hair. (meaning they BOTH! recycle their own semen!!!!)
7. Both are Homophobic
8. They both stutter when speaking
9. Both of them live with their moms
10.Both have had a women leave them Chris(Megan) and George(Sue)
11.Both have youtube accounts where they get trolled on ChristianWChandler(Christian) GGshowrules2(George)
12.Neither of them have had a REAL job
13. They fail to realize they have ZERO talent
14. Both of them have made videos where they go on tirades and are batshit crazy
15.They both think they are totally not FAT and have amazing physiques and are strong(note,it seems George also has hygiene problems like chris and stuffs shit in his armpits, already further proving their relation)
16.They both have threatened people over the internet and at the same time both have ironically threatened legal action against internet trolls Virgina's finest showing off their DISGUSTING bodies
If that wasn't coincidence Kevin and random black guy performed at Manchester Middle School which is where Chris went. This just goes to show that anyone who lives there is insane. They talk about it @ the 15:30 mark.
Gorgeous George AKA George al Habib Osaddam Yarab
New details have come out concerning GG's (other) hidden life, thanks to the former NSA analyst turned whistleblower Edward Snowden. Snowden had files that revealed that it was Gorgeous George or "George al Habib Osaddam Yarab" not Osama Bin Laden, who was behind the 9/11 attacks. Yarab, who has ties to the terrorist organization Al Qaeda, started another terrorist organization in Richmond Virginia. Yarab was able to gain entry to the United States with fraudulent papers (similar to the ones he used in his frivolous LOLsuits) and funded the organization from a gloryhole location in Richmond called "Fieldens". Yarab dubbed the terrorist organization he created in Richmond as "Trannies In Training" otherwise known as "T.I.T". Snowden was able to convince then "T.I.T" member Matthew Tatum aka "Magic Matt" (Who was Yarab's top recruiter in finding new trannies to train) to comply with him and revealed that Yarab was also behind the Boston Marathon Bombings. Magic Matt had mentioned Yarab once stated that he could "run a marathon if he wanted to", but when he found out the marathon was 26.2 miles, and not the " 2 miles" that he claims he can do, Yarab sent out "T.I.T" members Tamerlan Tsarnaev (deceased)Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to set off bombs to distract everyone and make it "appear" as if he finished the race when he crossed the line. In actuality, Yarab drove his Diamond Taxi Cab 500 yards from the finish line. Once there, Yarab gave the Tsarnaev's brothers the order to set off the explosions. Once they went off, Yarab, breathing heavily, staggered across the finish line letting out a big "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".
When Yarab found out that Magic Matt "backstabbed him in the back" He dismissed him of all of his T.I.T Duties and in the process pounced him with one flist. Before Magic Matt's demise, he had also revealed that Yarab is holding Warren Weinstein hostage in one of the stalls at Fieldens to perform sexual acts on his tranny clients to help him maintain his yearly "six income figure". It is rumored that Yarab has gone into hiding, taking Weinstein with him to continue operating his gloryhole business and maintain his tranny clientele. Speculation has it that they are hiding out in Yarab's favorite eatery, "Nacho Mamas"
G.A.Y.'s Fantasies
G.A.Y.'s secret entries into his diary entitled "G.A.Y. Tales" the following are dreams and fantasies of G.A.Y.'s
"My idea of paradise is being in the candy garden from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Where I would run around the big garden, eating chocolate and beating off, and then when Charlie Bucket strolled through the garden, I would run out and expose myself, causing Charlie's grandpa to have a heart attack. Then I would say hi to the tranny oompa loompas, stick some snozberries up my ass, and then get bored of candy and head off to nacho mamas, harrassing a few young women on my way out."
"Plenty of times I have imagined my father gassing dogs to death by shoving their heads up my mom's (Loosey's) ass and then feeding her baked beans. I then see myself masturbating furiously while watching this"
Random videos about GG
Previous Video | Next Video
Conclusion
See Also
- Antilulz
- Chris-chan
- False flaggot
- Fat
- Gay
- Giant George, no relation
- Homosexual
- Hypocrite
- Internet Tough Guy
- Kaye Lazar
- lolcow
- Mad
- Rage
- stalker
- Streisand Effect
- Unfunny
- USI
External Links
- Gorgeous George's personal website(He also types with a slant also under the updates section it's 2009 according to GG)
- One of many of GG's Youtube accounts
- Make the slimy fatfuck say what you want, when you want, he loves it!
- Original "Something Awful" soundboard download
- The meeting place (on Facebook) for goons, the equivalence of a Nacho Mama's for the fatass
SA content
- Gorgeous George's debut music video, Rub Your Dongs With Your Daddy'
- Something Awful's October 2010 thread on GG's return
- Something Awful's 2010 thread on GG
- Something Awful's 2005 thread on GG
- An ex-coworker joins in
| Featured article August 24, 2006 | ||
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