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Kyle Perkins: Difference between revisions

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== Early years ==
== Early years ==
[[Image:Earlygay.jpg|An early blossoming|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Earlygay.jpg|An early blossoming|thumb|left]]


His begginings are already shrouded in ambiguity and fail.
His begginings are already shrouded in ambiguity and fail.
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So the two mainly masculine influences in Kyle's life are an abbo and a piss mop. That explains a lot.
So the two mainly masculine influences in Kyle's life are an abbo and a piss mop. That explains a lot.
 
[[Image:HOMOu1.png|thumb|left|He wants to be a pretty girl]]
[[Image:Homouu.jpg|thumb|left|Gay Pirates. Sweet Jesus.]]


== Sexuality ==
== Sexuality ==
[[Image:Kyle Wants to be a Girl.png|thumb|right|Hubba hubba.]]
[[Image:Kyle Wants to be a Girl.png|thumb|right|Hubba hubba.]]
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay.jpg|Oh, it's a flower!|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay.jpg|Oh, it's a flower!|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay 2.jpg|''Eyeliner in my ED!!??''|thumb|right]]
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay 2.jpg|''Eyeliner in my ED!!??''|thumb|right]]
First and foremost, it's important to understand that Kyle Perkins is not a heterosexual male. Nope. In fact he's a few steps to the left of a flaming homosexual in that he fancys underage Filipino ladyboys and crossdressing [[Lemonparty|grandpas]].  Kyle hides this from his internet friends because it would impede on his ability to manipulate the women he loathes, however has no problem sharing this with a mother who has disowned him and a step-father who likely has similar taste.
First and foremost, it's important to understand that Kyle Perkins is not a heterosexual male. Nope. In fact he's a few steps to the left of a flaming homosexual in that he fancys underage Filipino ladyboys and crossdressing [[Lemonparty|grandpas]].  Kyle hides this from his internet friends because it would impede on his ability to manipulate the women he loathes, however has no problem sharing this with a mother who has disowned him and a step-father who likely has similar taste.
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Classy as always, Kyle.  
Classy as always, Kyle.  
[[Image:uusi2.jpg|thumb|center|''An AWESOME too!!!11'']]
[[Image:uusi2.jpg|thumb|center|''An AWESOME too!!!11'']]
== Kyle's Top 5 Excuses ==
An statistical analisys of his post shows these are the five excuses most used by him:
* I was drunk
* She's lying and a crazy bitch
* That's photoshooped
* I have my money blocked
* It wasn't me
<center><gallery perrow="4">
Image:excu1.jpg
Image:Excu2.jpg
Image:Excu3.jpg
Image:Excu4.jpg
</gallery></center><br/>


== Master Troll 2015 ==
== Master Troll 2015 ==

Revision as of 01:36, 2 May 2015



   
 
Im not a felon though actually.
 

 
 


Thank you for taking our test!
Your personality type is: PLER

Ladyboy Fetishist Elliot Rodger



Chubbyle Perkins, not 6 years ago
Witty and fitty

Kyle Gene Perkins (a.k.a: Kyle the Pedophile, TheLegendaryKylePerkins (lol), Zimmerman Martin, Fail Kyle etc) is a demonstrable and certified pedophile creepo, woman leecher, wife-abusing, trannie-lover, closeted-homo, small time delinquent and overall little shit with erection disfunction, tendency to obesity and a record of stalking teens to obtain nudes (and then blackmail them) longer than his USI.

Hiding his true colors behind the guise of lulz and trolling, Kyle used ED, of all sites, for his personal vendettas and to qualm his hatred for women, even succeding for a couple of weeks taking advantage from Ediots being in a 90% rabid semi-autists who would chop their own leg if they smelt enough blood coming out of it... but as one can expect (unless you are a retard) soon thereafter, a crack team of certified e-detectives started to dig into the life and miracles of our little Kyle.


Early years

An early blossoming


His begginings are already shrouded in ambiguity and fail.

His mom, bored of the trailer park and craving native cock, divorced his step-father to go to the Reserve to worship the Totem pole. After a while, feed up with the stallions' smell and wanting back civilization's luxuries like a shower or the wheel, crawled back home to check if her former husband could handle the cuck. He did, and then both re-married.

So the two mainly masculine influences in Kyle's life are an abbo and a piss mop. That explains a lot.

He wants to be a pretty girl
Gay Pirates. Sweet Jesus.

Sexuality

Hubba hubba.
Oh, it's a flower!
Eyeliner in my ED!!??

First and foremost, it's important to understand that Kyle Perkins is not a heterosexual male. Nope. In fact he's a few steps to the left of a flaming homosexual in that he fancys underage Filipino ladyboys and crossdressing grandpas. Kyle hides this from his internet friends because it would impede on his ability to manipulate the women he loathes, however has no problem sharing this with a mother who has disowned him and a step-father who likely has similar taste.

   
 
Also, speaking of fag, how’s your homosexuality going? Or do you deny even that?
 

 
 

A concerned friend

KYLE WANTS TO SEE YOUR DICK:


Wife Beater

Domestic Abuse Court Order, circa 05/27/2005

IN THE RED CORNER: Standing at 6' 3'', weighing in at 260 lbs, hailing from the island of contempt, KYLE GENE PERKINS!

IN THE BLUE CORNER: Standing just over five feet tall, weighing in at less than half, hailing from numerous battered wife facebook groups, ANGELA PERKINS!

Kyle's wife left him because he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her. The reason he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her was because she didn't have a penis. Had she done the right thing and a had strap on dildo permanently attached to her hip, Kyle would be spending his evenings licking his own fecal matter off a 12'' black dildo instead of trolling facebook for tit pics of 14 year old rednecks.

Pedophilia

Notice her panic stare
Notice the grinding teeth
   
 
Kyle's minimum age is 12. Everyone knows that. They think he's joking.
 

 
 



Here are a few examples of Kyle and his interaction with minors:


One is left to ask, "well, he's clearly a faggot, why is he interested in nudes of young girls?" That's a very good question and the answer is that he obtains them for the sole purpose of using them against these kids in the future. See, Kyle is not interested in fap fodder, if he were looking to blow a load he'd stick a few beads up his cornhole and download some Trap-kun. Instead, he collects the nudes so that he can boast about them with other beta males and in the same move, add additional girth to his non-existant e-peen by becoming the admin of various teenage oriented anime roleplaying groups, adding a new meaning to the word "lame". By infiltrating these groups, he is ensured to obtain more pedo nudes from 13 year olds, starting the cycle again. He will use these nudes against his victims and post them publicly. Who cares about a Class F Felony when you have internet fame, amirite?

His Job

La vida loca!
HA HA OH WOW

Did you know that Kyle is filthy fucking rich? By his own accord, he makes $180,000 a year working for Vivint in Tampa, Florida, selling solar panels and home security systems. Of course, anyone whose ever worked in the home security industry knows this is utter bullshit and he'd be lucky to be pulling 40.

Very lucky, cause he is now unemployed, as most of his life, and leeching some poor dumb cow, while he faps to shemale asian vomit porn, abandon her for days to go on egotrips to get drunk at the expense of some emotionally damaged teen until getting kicked out, and then boast online about how much of a winner he totally is. Classy as always, Kyle.

An AWESOME too!!!11


Kyle's Top 5 Excuses

An statistical analisys of his post shows these are the five excuses most used by him:

  • I was drunk
  • She's lying and a crazy bitch
  • That's photoshooped
  • I have my money blocked
  • It wasn't me


Master Troll 2015

Righteous plebian annihilator.
Outstanding citizen

Kyle likes to label himself as a master troll. He's such a master troll that he cannot be trolled. While this may be true considering his complete lack of willingness to adhere to social normality, the reality is that by him being an Elliot Rodger on steroids puts him somewhere between an angry 4chan teenager and a Manosphere blogger. Add to that his affinity for facebook groups and you have yourself yet another insufferable faggot polluting our airwaves.

Oh, did we mention that he's been with ED since day 1?





See Also

External Links

 kyle.a.perkins.7
link=https://www.facebook.com/Alt facebook facebook Alt facebook
 His brother is a cosplaying furfaggot
 Current financial provider
 kyleperkins3357
kyleperkins33572able

Arrested.
Arrested.
Arrested.
Domestic Violence.

Elder Scrolls Roleplaying Group
Tranny group he follows
Filipino ladyboy group he follows

Linkdin
Resume
Random
Sales competition, ranked 247 out of 256

[email protected]
Dating Profile

Kyle Perkins is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.


[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
Kyle Perkins is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaCognitive dissonanceDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberalismLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyPyromaniaRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTerminological percipience disorderTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMElan SchoolEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning