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Richard Russel: Difference between revisions
imported>Paul in the Mall No edit summary |
imported>Paul in the Mall No edit summary |
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Revision as of 08:42, 17 February 2024
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| Richard Russell | |
| Nationality: | America 
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| Highscore | ZERO! (except self-kill) |
| Top 50? | Nope |
| Style | Aircraft based 9/11 remake |
| An Hero? | Yes |
| Motive | Mid Life Crisis |
Richard "Beebo" Russell, known to us as the Sky King, was a pretty cool guy who worked at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport in Amurica. Once an epic stud, Richard Russell sadly became of depression due to the inevitable onset of baldness, erectile dysfunction, and ugly wife. In 2018, life became too much for Russell. Originally, he planned on doing a school shooting, but changed his mind due to this kind of action being too commonplace in America and therefore not memorable. Instead, Russell decided to test his absolutely epic GTA skills in the real world and steal a plane from the airport he was working in and attempt to re-create the most lulzy event in American history; 9/11.
Humble Beginnings
Richard Russell was originally from Florida, USA (although it has also been suggested he was from Iraq). Regardless, he was brought up in a fucked up environment. Sick and tired of living in an absolute dump, Russell moved to Washington State and got a crappy job at the airport. It is unclear what credentials he had for this but he passed all security checks, i.e. not a single thing about him seemed suspicious (a bit like Ian Naude and Adolf Hitler).
Industrious and Ingenious
As hinted at above, Richard Russell boasted exemplary MLG gaming skillz. He was particularly skilled at Battlefield 4: Air Superiority, GTAV and GTA: San Andreas. Using this, combined with a flight simulator he had bought using money he stole from people's baggage at the airport, Richard Russell learnt all the skills he could possibly need to pilot an IRL aircraft.
IRL Trolling
Richard Russell jumped into the cockpit of a 76-seat passenger plane, turned the thing on and made off with it as quickly and as easily as one would in GTA. He then proceeded to scare the living fck out of the hysterical American shitstains he had stolen it from, which was extremely effective because the last time a plane had been hijacked on American soil, was September 11th, 2001.
Instead of straight up flying it into a building like the Al-Qaeda noobs had done almost 17 years before, Russell decided instead to pull of some sick stunts over the local military base while simultaneously making trolling remarks through the intercom to the helpless air-traffic-control. Russell informed the ground crew that he was attempting to look for a famous GTA easter egg of an orca carrying it's dead calf on it's back, and also stated that he would only land the plane if he was promised a pilot job at Alaska Airlines.
When the ground crew refused to give him the job, Russell became furious and decided to KILL FUCKING EVERYONE in the airport. But for one reason or another, he missed the airport and crashed into a mountain (and died). Due to the fact that his last wish had been to mass-murder fat Americunts using an aircraft, Russell was accepted into heaven by Allah, where he was greeted by Mohammed Atta, Eric Swaffer and Osama Bin Laden. The Sky King is now fucking his 73rd virgin.
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Unlocked Achievements
- Stealth
- Bro
- Barrel Roll
- Loopty-Loop
See Also
- Jimmy Russell, alleged brother
- Barrel Roll
