Kid Icarus

Nintendo's answer to God of War. Also, note that the enemy on the cover doesn't even exist in the game.

Kid Icarus (known in Glorious Nippon as 光神話 パルテナの鏡) is a series of vidya gaemz by Nintendo that is notable for being the Big N's most neglected franchise – a fact that many are unaware of since the series has about 2 fans and Metroidfags are whiny little bitches who will throw a fit if even six months go by without a new installment. The games all put the player in control of a shota angel named Pit who is generally tasked with rescuing the Goddess of light, Palutena, from some evil villain who's turned her to stone – which is the same plot as literally every single fucking Nintendo game at the time except Metroid.

The original Kid Icarus was released in 1987 for the NES and is known for being so utterly hard as fuck that it causes most players to ragequit within the first three levels of the game. The game resembles an abortion in a blender in that 90% of the game is just recycled shit from The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Bros. and God of War that's been hastily thrown together and branded as a "game" despite not being finished, not being fun and not making any fucking sense whatsoever.

Yes, this was an NES game. Yes, these ginormous blue titties were in the manual.

See Also

• Super Smash Bros.
• The Legend of Zelda
• Metroid
• Super Mario Bros.
• God of War

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