Helen Thomas

Helen Thomas is a zombie?

Trufax

Helen's big break as The Penguin

Helen Thomas is a fugly ancient old media troll who was recently forced to retire from her job as a long-standing member of the White House Press Corps after a video of her sharing her opinions about the recent deadly seizure of the Mavi Marmara and other ships attempting to pass through an Israeli naval blockade during the Jewish Heritage Celebration Day media event was widely disseminated via the internet. Thomas is a relic to the golden age of antisemitism and more importantly free speech in America.

It is a sad day in this country when a froggy old hag sweet old lady like Helen Thomas who has been a respected journalist and columnist for over 60 years is chased out of office because her views are different from the rest of the pro Israel media. Showing sympathy for Palestine in the United States is a crime usually punishable by death, however having a black President means that all sentences may be commuted to oral sex as long as you are a fat white woman.

	“	Helen Thomas' statements, however controversial, were true and she is being persecuted by the media because it is lulz to hurt old people. Fuck the Jews. Sieg heil! o/	„
	—A reputable news source

The Video

	“	Tell the Jews to get the hell out of Palestine.… They should go home. Poland, Germany… And America and everywhere else."	„
	—Helen Thomas, Telling it like it is

Internets Reaction

File:Helen thomas.png

Classic troll's remorse.

	“	Germany doesn't want the Jews	„
	—bluewhale18

There are generally two schools of thought old media uses when reacting to Helen Thomas’s reaction against Israel: OMFGWTF KILL THE WITCH! SHE SPOKE OUT AGAINST OUR LORD AND MASTER; or who gets her chair? Seriously guys lets just ignore the fact that free speech might be at risk or the fact that reporters cant even do their goddamn job anymore. The comments on the rabbilive upload are a lulz goldmine. The above, however, says it all. Another lulzy flame war can be found on Breitbart.

	“	Arguing with Jews on the internet is like trying to teach a Monkey Calculus, in the end it’s ultimately a colossal waste of time.	„
	—cpt77

So much for the Megaphone Desktop Tool.

Is She a Jew?

Moist!

Most people presumed Helen Thomas was Jew-ish and, thus, her comments were typical of those of a self-hating Jew. After extensive research of archives, there are staggering similarities between her and the typical features of a black Jewish crocodile.

• Enlarged dorsum
• Meaty lips
• Protuberant nose
• Evil glare
• Looking as splendid as ever

She is, however, 100% Arab.

[Vertical Fun! (Click to Collapse)[Click to Expand]]

File:Helen thomas vertical.jpg

Why did she do it?

There is a list of possibilities of why Helen Thomas spoke out against the Jewish Menace. Here is some expert speculation as to why she waited so long to speak out:

• She wanted her long prestigious career to end on a high note.

• She looked kind of tipsy, but its hard to tell with her face.

• Couldn't keep quiet anymore about the Jewish menace any longer. If only she realized that words don't work on the Jews, that there is only one right way to solve this problem.

• She has been losing it for six years now and could have finally acted senile.

She has apologized for her speaking out about the Jews, however her apology wasn't enough to save her. Regardless of the her reason, the damage has been done, Helen Thomas has been ruined by the Jews. However, its not the first time the Jews have gotten away with ending people's lives.

See Also

• Old
• Media
• Old Media
• Trolling IRL
• Freedom Flotilla
• Israel
• Dr. Laura
• Rick Sanchez

External Links

• Helen Thomas' TOW article Talk page lulz
• Helen Thomas on Failbook
• Helen Thomas' site
• Fire Helen Thomas for Anti-Semitic Comments on Failbook
• RabbiLIVE hate site

Helen Thomas is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.