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===[[Schizophrenic]] insanity===
===[[Schizophrenic]] insanity===
[[Image:NtIdlu.jpg|thumb|A schizophrenic replies to her boyfriend.]]
This kind of insanity is perhaps the most-maddening on all fronts; [[You|you]] find it maddening how everything is disjointed and oh, so scary, while we find it maddening how funny you are to be around. A schizophrenic lives like a Christian who just realized what eternity really is- everything is worthy of pissed pant leg and a shat trouser. Like a hippie or 9/11 conspiracy theorist, nothing makes sense and the best antidote is to rip your eyelids off and shove your toenails into your dick.
This kind of insanity is perhaps the most-maddening on all fronts; [[You|you]] find it maddening how everything is disjointed and oh, so scary, while we find it maddening how funny you are to be around. A schizophrenic lives like a Christian who just realized what eternity really is- everything is worthy of pissed pant leg and a shat trouser. Like a hippie or 9/11 conspiracy theorist, nothing makes sense and the best antidote is to rip your eyelids off and shove your toenails into your dick.
[[Image:NtIdlu.jpg|thumb|A schizophrenic replies to her boyfriend.]]
Developing schizophrenia can be a, "Bo0Oo, I killed your baby!", immediate breakdown, or one that is gradual and so painful to watch that family members have to turn away to snicker into their closed fists. [[Hippies|Cocaine addicts]] have the best cure of simply letting it take hold at an early age and simply doping around like a retard for the rest of your natural-born life, (like, 20 years).
Developing schizophrenia can be a, "Bo0Oo, I killed your baby!", immediate breakdown, or one that is gradual and so painful to watch that family members have to turn away to snicker into their closed fists. [[Hippies|Cocaine addicts]] have the best cure of simply letting it take hold at an early age and simply doping around like a retard for the rest of your natural-born life, (like, 20 years).


Revision as of 05:03, 28 September 2012

DO NOT FEED PAITENTZ!
Eddie Murphy was a disturbing child.
The merciless pepper of Quetzlzacatenango.

Insanity is a form of retardation which presents itself in many lulzy ways. Rather, we're talking about the clinically depressed or the schizophrenic. If there's a nut-job around, get ready for some laughs.

It is not known with certainty what the causes of insanity are, but it's probably a safe bet that it has something to do with white trash whores smoking meth while they had rotting little shit-bags festering in their guts.

On the Internets about 100% of the people are insane. This is most likely due to online communities, fetish porn, and the fact that insane people can't hold jobs so they have nothing better to do than waste their time OL.

A Random Sampling Of The Insane

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Insanity As Common Usage

Gary Busey, king of the insane.

"Insane", as it is normally used on both the Internets and IRL, is a general, typically harmless and nonspecific irregularity of thought or perception. It usually refers to Teabaggers, generic Christians and members of various fandoms.

:Prima: I think that people should be given free health care.

:Secunda: You're insane!

Insanity As A Condition

"The Sky is Falling!" Insanity

Ever since the Bible was written, some people (most notably everybody from America) have thought that it was correct. If you read the Bible from the beginning, you see this is how it all pans out:

By being incredibly boring, a person can become susceptible to the eschatology and apocalyptic sections of the Bible. Getting hung up on these sections, one starts to lose touch with reality and begins believing that these verses are real.

Thus, people started suffering from "The Sky is Falling!" insanity, which causes them to attempt to convert everybody to their religion.

:Prima: If you don't eat Jesus' flesh or drink his blood, you're going to burn in Hell. Jesus is coming! Jesus is coming! Cthulhu cannot save you!!!

:Secunda: O rly?

"I Own the Internets!" Insanity

Tinfoil hats and plans to summon the Antichrist, or at least Dubya.
Mexican wearing a tinfoil sombrero.
even God likes to fuck up jews.

This kid both has Necrophilia and Eproctophilia, awesome combo.


Usually suffered by LJ mods who realize they can ban anybody at will, the "I Own the Internets!" Insanity is the largest cause of migration between communities.

:Prima: You're not allowed to post this comment against me here. I'm the mod! I can ban you!

:Secunda: Go ahead. I wasn't planning on coming back anyway, you fucking nut.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Batshit Crazy

Batshit crazy is one of the highest levels of insanity. It's usually a combination of all of the above, to wit:

:Prima: Repent of your sins! Frienditto is the Antichrist! If you don't repent I will ban you from my community!

:Secunda: You're insane!

:Prima: That's defamation of character! I have unlimited disposable income and will bring you to Internet court! I will have your humility!

Not to be confused with Apeshit crazy.

For a reference into batshit insanity, one should look no further than KurtBatz, who, in addition to being batshit insane, actually believes he is a bat.

Hidden Internet Crazy

Taking place on the fringes of the known Internets and inaccessible to the casual user, Hidden Internet Crazy can be considered an OL Easter Egg. HIC consists entirely of a Prima who maintains and updates a generally non-interactive website, which invariably stuns and bewilders anybody coming into contact with it. Discovery of HIC results either in a meme which spreads hilarity, or a jarring illness as the last vestiges of one's belief in humanity's sentience leaks out of one's eyes.

HIC sites will always be coded badly because HICs cannot type whilst wearing tinfoil hats (see below) and because they love font size=5. Examples include:

SPACE MADNESS

Sometimes, a special combination of cosmic rays, GRIDS, and dongs can lead to a whole other sort of crazy altogether. This type of crazy, named after its first victim, astronaut Lisa Nowak runs rampant through NASA, spreading faster than herpes in a gay bar, or AIDS in a pool. The two most common symptoms of SPACE MADNESS are sudden incontinence and psychotic delusions of "That bitch is stealin' mah man!!1"

Tinfoil Hats

Pirat ponton models the latest in designer aluminumwear.

Tinfoil Hats are the new Black (and make excellent replacements for jock-straps). The head wear of choice for conspiracy nuts like azad slide and puremisery. They keep the sunlight, UV rays, bird poop and evil alien mind control rays out out your head so you can continue to go throughout your day with the confidence of knowing all of your thoughts about the world and the government are completely unread and unaltered.

You cannot actually make tinfoil hats. The ones that actually keep out all the alien mind control rays are manufactured by some guy out in Tucson who has perfected the process. I lost that guy's number.

If you are said to be wearing a tinfoil hat, that means that you are thinking on such a high level of rational thought that other more susceptible minds cannot fathom why you are thinking the way that you do. So, go get a tinfoil hat and wear it with pride! (You wouldn't BELIEVE how much they paid me to say this!)

Wikipedia article soon to be closed due to vandals and bona fide paranoiacs.

As proven by the TV show Futurama's movie, Into The Wild Green Yonder, tinfoil hats also prevent people from reading your mind and you from reading others's minds.

The Tinfoil Song

I've got my tinfoil hat on, hip hip hip hooray, my tinfoil hat will shield me from your mind controlling ray.

See also: Poetry

Fursuits

OK, this isn't so much being insane as it is being an annoying prick, but hey, insane people wear this too because they really think they're animals or otherkin or some other bullshit like that.

Stockholm syndrome

Stockholm syndrome is where someone sympathizes and thinks highly of their abuser(s). This is when people are kidnapped by terrorists and eventually they join the terrorists' group willingly. Or people abused by their boyfriend, say they deserved it.

While Stockholm syndrome used to apply to IRL things, it in fact originated OTI.

As an example: Let's say, purely hypothetically, your country is hijacked like an airplane by The World's #1 terrorist. This terrorist controls the media and also every press conference and town hall meeting the guy attends is filled with nothing but actors praising him. Anyone who criticizes him or exposes his crimes gets angry mobs insulting them and then gets secretly kidnapped and thrown in a secret prison where they're tortured until they die. And as a result of the mistreatment, censorship, and disinformation, many people of that country begin to support him.

That purely hypothetical example is how a lot of Internet forums are run. Kimmo Alm runs his forum excessively this way. Kimmo lives in Stockholm, Sweden, and the psychological condition itself was named after his city. It was not called Kimmo or Alm syndrome because he, himself, did not have the syndrome, rather he caused others to have it.

Schizophrenic insanity

A schizophrenic replies to her boyfriend.

This kind of insanity is perhaps the most-maddening on all fronts; you find it maddening how everything is disjointed and oh, so scary, while we find it maddening how funny you are to be around. A schizophrenic lives like a Christian who just realized what eternity really is- everything is worthy of pissed pant leg and a shat trouser. Like a hippie or 9/11 conspiracy theorist, nothing makes sense and the best antidote is to rip your eyelids off and shove your toenails into your dick. Developing schizophrenia can be a, "Bo0Oo, I killed your baby!", immediate breakdown, or one that is gradual and so painful to watch that family members have to turn away to snicker into their closed fists. Cocaine addicts have the best cure of simply letting it take hold at an early age and simply doping around like a retard for the rest of your natural-born life, (like, 20 years).

"I'm completely sane" Insanity

This is a common condition suffered by most of humanity: They constantly and incurably hallucinate that they are completely sane. Symptoms of this kind of insanity include breathing, claiming that you are completely sane, thinking that this this kind of insanity is bullshit, and holding any sort of opinion that uses the words "normal" or "think," two things that don't exist for most of humanity.

List of Notable Insane People

List of Insane people on LJ

List of Insane people on IRC

List of Insane people on DeviantART

List of Insane people on YouTube

All of these people.

Previous Video | Next Video

See also


[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]
Insane is part of a series on Psychology
Mental illness & Disorders

Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex

Fetishes:

Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

Featured article September 21, 2006
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