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Dennis Avner: Difference between revisions
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Once upon a time '''Dennis Avner''' was your run of the mill [[basement dwelling]] [[furfag]] working as a sonar technician in the [[Navy]], but thanks to his [[Native American]] heritage, he was advised by a chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis [[stupid|took this literally]] and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his [[WOW]] name of '''Stalking Cat'''. | Once upon a time '''Dennis Avner''' was your run of the mill [[basement dwelling]] [[furfag]] working as a sonar technician in the [[Navy]], but thanks to his [[Native American]] heritage, he was advised by a chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis [[stupid|took this literally]] and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his [[WOW]] name of '''Stalking Cat'''. | ||
'''Cat Man''', as he | '''Cat Man''', as he was known by the [[old media|media]], spent all his life's earnings on irreversible plastic surgery, tattooing, and other forms of mutilation such as whisker implants, fang dentures ([[Dental Plan|he had all his real teeth removed!]]) and a [[lol wut|bionic tail]] and would not stop [[unrealistic expectations|until he is 100% feline]], [[what|which includes grafting fur onto his body and being modified to walk on all fours]]. | ||
His [[lol|lulzy]] dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV talk shows and TV specials (such as ''[[Larry King]] Live'', ''Ripley's Believe It or Not'' and VH1's ''Totally Obsessed'') making him the most [[famous]] and [[Retarded|prolific]] furry in the world. Though he | His [[lol|lulzy]] dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV talk shows and TV specials (such as ''[[Larry King]] Live'', ''Ripley's Believe It or Not'' and VH1's ''Totally Obsessed'') making him the most [[famous]] and [[Retarded|prolific]] furry in the world. Though he claimed he was "[[closet furry|not a furry]]" and that this was only a part of his cultural heritage, he regularly appeared at [[convention|furcon]]s (He was a Guest of Honor at Rainfurrest in 2007) and was known to be extremely rude to con staffs, volunteers, and artists because he thought he was [[teh]] [[shit]]z. | ||
He was hailed by furfags everywhere as a [[Faggot|legend]] until his suicide last Thursday. Goodnight, sweet prince. | He was hailed by furfags everywhere as a [[Faggot|legend]] until his suicide last Thursday. Goodnight, sweet prince. | ||
Revision as of 03:20, 11 March 2013
- Not to be confused with the real Stalking Cat
Once upon a time Dennis Avner was your run of the mill basement dwelling furfag working as a sonar technician in the Navy, but thanks to his Native American heritage, he was advised by a chief to "follow the ways of the tiger". Young Dennis took this literally and spent bazillions of dollars to turn himself into a giant fucking cat and gave up his "slave name" to go by his WOW name of Stalking Cat.
Cat Man, as he was known by the media, spent all his life's earnings on irreversible plastic surgery, tattooing, and other forms of mutilation such as whisker implants, fang dentures (he had all his real teeth removed!) and a bionic tail and would not stop until he is 100% feline, which includes grafting fur onto his body and being modified to walk on all fours.
His lulzy dreams and batshit insane passions have landed him regular spots on many TV talk shows and TV specials (such as Larry King Live, Ripley's Believe It or Not and VH1's Totally Obsessed) making him the most famous and prolific furry in the world. Though he claimed he was "not a furry" and that this was only a part of his cultural heritage, he regularly appeared at furcons (He was a Guest of Honor at Rainfurrest in 2007) and was known to be extremely rude to con staffs, volunteers, and artists because he thought he was teh shitz.
He was hailed by furfags everywhere as a legend until his suicide last Thursday. Goodnight, sweet prince.
External Links
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Dennis Avner is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
