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Kyle Perkins: Difference between revisions
imported>HitlerWasASaint |
imported>Cobaltcat Undo revision 741154 by HitlerWasASaint (talk) |
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{{blink|orange|16|<b>WARNING:</b> <br/><br/>Pedophile, wife-beater, woman abuser. <br/><br/> Avoid at all cost if you have vagina.}} | |||
<br/> | |||
<center>[[Image:Kyle Mugshots.png]] | |||
{{quote|Im not a felon though actually.}}<br/> | |||
<b>Thank you for taking our test!</b><br/> | |||
Your personality type is: <span style="background:#00FF00"><b>PLER</b></span> | |||
<i>Ladyboy Fetishist Elliot Rodger</i></center><br/><br/> | |||
[[Image:chubbyle perkins.jpg|thumb|left|Chubbyle Perkins, not 6 years ago]] | |||
[[Image:22ugh.jpg|thumb|right|Witty and fitty]] | |||
<b>Kyle Gene Perkins</b> (a.k.a: Kyle the Pedophile, ''TheLegendaryKylePerkins'' (lol), Zimmerman Martin, Fail Kyle etc) is a demonstrable and certified pedophile creepo, woman leecher, wife-abusing, trannie-lover, closeted-homo, small time delinquent and overall little shit with erection disfunction, tendency to obesity and a record of stalking teens to obtain nudes (and then blackmail them) [[longcat|longer]] than his [[USI|USI]]. | |||
Hiding his true colors behind the guise of lulz and trolling, Kyle used ED, [[facepalm|of all sites]], for his personal vendettas and to qualm his hatred for women, even succeding for a couple of weeks taking advantage from Ediots being in a 90% rabid [[internet hate machine|semi-autists]] who would chop their own leg if they smelt [[fact|enough blood coming out of it]]... but as one can expect (unless you are a [[you|retard]]) soon thereafter, a crack team of certified e-detectives started to dig into the life and miracles of our little Kyle. | |||
<br/> | |||
== Early years == | |||
[[Image:Earlygay.jpg|An early blossoming|thumb|left]] | |||
His begginings are already shrouded in ambiguity and fail. | |||
His mom, bored of the trailer park and craving native cock, divorced his step-father to go to the Reserve to worship the Totem pole. After a while, feed up with the stallions' smell and wanting back civilization's luxuries like a shower or the wheel, crawled back home to check if her former husband could handle the cuck. He did, and then both re-married. | |||
So the two mainly masculine influences in Kyle's life are an abbo and a piss mop. That explains a lot. | |||
[[Image:HOMOu1.png|thumb|left|He wants to be a pretty girl]] | |||
[[Image:Homouu.jpg|thumb|left|Gay Pirates. Sweet Jesus.]] | |||
== Sexuality == | |||
[[Image:Kyle Wants to be a Girl.png|thumb|right|Hubba hubba.]] | |||
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay.jpg|Oh, it's a flower!|thumb|right]] | |||
[[Image:Kyle Perkins is Not Gay 2.jpg|''Eyeliner in my ED!!??''|thumb|right]] | |||
First and foremost, it's important to understand that Kyle Perkins is not a heterosexual male. Nope. In fact he's a few steps to the left of a flaming homosexual in that he fancys underage Filipino ladyboys and crossdressing [[Lemonparty|grandpas]]. Kyle hides this from his internet friends because it would impede on his ability to manipulate the women he loathes, however has no problem sharing this with a mother who has disowned him and a step-father who likely has similar taste. | |||
{{quote|Also, speaking of fag, how’s your homosexuality going? Or do you deny even that?|[[julianne Irace|A concerned friend]]}} | |||
<center><b>KYLE WANTS TO SEE YOUR DICK:</b><br/> | |||
{{frame|<gallery perrow="3"> | |||
Image:Kyle Perkins Wants to see Your Dick 1.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle Perkins Wants to see Your Dick 2.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle Perkins Wants to see Your Dick 3.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle Perkins Wants to see Your Dick 4.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle Perkins Wants to see Your Dick 5.jpg</gallery>}}</center><br/> | |||
== Wife Beater == | |||
[[Image:Kyle Domestic Abuse Court Order.png|thumb|right|Domestic Abuse Court Order, circa 05/27/2005]] | |||
<span style="color:Red"><b>IN THE RED CORNER:</b></span> Standing at 6' 3<nowiki>''</nowiki>, weighing in at 260 lbs, hailing from the island of contempt, <i>KYLE GENE PERKINS!</i> | |||
<span style="color:Blue"><b>IN THE BLUE CORNER:</b></span> Standing just over five feet tall, weighing in at less than half, hailing from numerous battered wife facebook groups, <i>ANGELA PERKINS!</i> | |||
Kyle's wife left him because he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her. The reason he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her was because she didn't have a penis. Had she done the right thing and a had strap on dildo permanently attached to her hip, Kyle would be spending his evenings licking his own fecal matter off a 12<nowiki>''</nowiki> black dildo instead of trolling facebook for tit pics of 14 year old rednecks. | |||
== Pedophilia == | |||
[[Image:xcreep1.jpg|thumb|right|Notice her panic stare]] | |||
[[Image:xcreep2.jpg|thumb|right|Notice the grinding teeth]] | |||
{{Quote|Kyle's minimum age is 12. Everyone knows that. They think he's joking.}}<br/><br/> | |||
Here are a few examples of Kyle and his interaction with minors:<br/><br/> | |||
<center><gallery perrow="3"> | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 1.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 2.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 3.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 4.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 5.jpg | |||
Image:Kyle the Kiddy Diddler 6.jpg | |||
Image:Kd1.jpg | |||
Image:Kd2.jpg | |||
Image:Kd3.jpg | |||
Image:Kd4.jpg | |||
Image:Kd5.jpg | |||
Image:Kd6.jpg | |||
Image:Kd7.jpg | |||
Image:Kd8.jpg | |||
Image:Kd9.jpg | |||
Image:Kd10.jpg|A co-worker | |||
Image:Kd11.jpg | |||
Image:Kd12.jpg | |||
</gallery></center><br/> | |||
One is left to ask, "well, he's clearly a faggot, why is he interested in nudes of young girls?" That's a very good question and the answer is that he obtains them for the sole purpose of using them against these kids in the future. See, Kyle is not interested in fap fodder, if he were looking to blow a load he'd stick a few beads up his cornhole and download some [[Trap-kun]]. Instead, he collects the nudes so that he can boast about them with other beta males and in the same move, add additional girth to his non-existant e-peen by becoming the admin of various teenage oriented anime roleplaying groups, adding a new meaning to the word "lame". By infiltrating these groups, he is ensured to obtain more pedo nudes from 13 year olds, starting the cycle again. He ''will'' use these nudes against his victims and post them publicly. Who cares about a Class F Felony when you have internet fame, [[Old Meme|amirite?]]<br/><br/> | |||
== His Job == | |||
[[Image:Vivint Logo.png|thumb|right|La vida loca!]] | |||
[[Image:uusi.jpg|HA HA OH WOW|thumb|left]] | |||
Did you know that Kyle is filthy fucking rich? By his own accord, he makes $180,000 a year working for Vivint in Tampa, Florida, selling solar panels and home security systems. Of course, anyone whose ever worked in the home security industry knows this is utter bullshit and he'd be lucky to be pulling 40. | |||
Very lucky, cause he is now unemployed, as most of his life, and leeching [https://www.facebook.com/CRaZeEcHiQ?__mref=message some poor dumb cow], while he faps to shemale asian vomit porn, abandon her for days to go on egotrips to get drunk at the expense of some emotionally damaged teen until getting kicked out, and then boast online about how much of a winner he totally is. | |||
Classy as always, Kyle. | |||
[[Image:uusi2.jpg|thumb|center|''And AWESOME too!!!11'']] | |||
== Kyle's Top 5 Excuses == | |||
An statistical analisys of his post shows these are the five excuses most used by him: | |||
* I was drunk | |||
* She's lying and a crazy bitch | |||
* That's photoshooped | |||
* I have my money blocked | |||
* It wasn't me | |||
<center><gallery perrow="4"> | |||
Image:excu1.jpg | |||
Image:Excu2.jpg | |||
Image:Excu3.jpg | |||
Image:Excu4.jpg | |||
</gallery></center><br/> | |||
== ''The Saga of Kyle, Julianne and Encyclopedia Dramática'' == | |||
[[Image:Kyle the Troll Master.jpg|thumb|right|Righteous plebian annihilator.]] | |||
[[Image:xcreep4.png|thumb|right|Outstanding citizen]] | |||
(On construction, today later) | |||
Oh, did we mention that he's been with ED since day 1?<br/> | |||
{{blink|red|24|'''YOU. CAN'T. CONTROL. THIS.'''}}<br/> | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[Julianne Irace]] | |||
*[[Elliot Rodger]] | |||
*[[Misogyny]] | |||
*[[Transvestites]] | |||
*[[Luka Magnotta]] | |||
==External Links== | |||
{{fb|kyle.a.perkins.7}}<br/> | |||
{{fb|profile.php?id=100008470203139|Alt facebook}}<br/> | |||
{{fb|daimyo.perkins|His brother is a cosplaying furfaggot}}<br/> | |||
{{fb|CRaZeEcHiQ|Current financial provider}}<br/> | |||
{{twitter|kyleperkins3357}}<br/> | |||
{{yt|kyleperkins33572able}}<br/> | |||
[http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Kyle_Perkins_2072015/ Arrested.]<br/> | |||
[http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Kyle_Perkins_2162108/ Arrested.]<br/> | |||
[https://opencourtrecords.org/case.php?id=3718444 Arrested.]<br/> | |||
[https://opencourtrecords.org/case.php?id=3823104 Domestic Violence.]<br/> | |||
[https://www.facebook.com/groups/ElderScrollsNirn/ Elder Scrolls Roleplaying Group]<br/> | |||
[https://www.facebook.com/groups/IWantToBeAGirl/ Tranny group he follows]<br/> | |||
[https://www.facebook.com/groups/PhilippineFinest1/ Filipino ladyboy group he follows]<br/> | |||
[https://www.linkedin.com/pub/kyle-perkins/83/aa6/5b0 Linkdin]<br/> | |||
[https://www.resume.com/kyle__a__perkins__7 Resume]<br/> | |||
[http://www.geocaching.com/geocache/GC4NRWQ_little-manatee-bridge Random]<br/> | |||
[http://results.authentictiming.com/eventid/48/2013/individual-overall.htm Sales competition, ranked 247 out of 256]<br/> | |||
[mailto:[email protected] [email protected]]<br/> | |||
[http://badoo.com/01224255419/ Dating Profile]<br/><br/> | |||
{{faggotry}} | |||
<br/> | |||
{{Psychology}} | |||
Revision as of 08:16, 2 May 2015
Pedophile, wife-beater, woman abuser.
Avoid at all cost if you have vagina.
Thank you for taking our test!
Your personality type is: PLER
Kyle Gene Perkins (a.k.a: Kyle the Pedophile, TheLegendaryKylePerkins (lol), Zimmerman Martin, Fail Kyle etc) is a demonstrable and certified pedophile creepo, woman leecher, wife-abusing, trannie-lover, closeted-homo, small time delinquent and overall little shit with erection disfunction, tendency to obesity and a record of stalking teens to obtain nudes (and then blackmail them) longer than his USI.
Hiding his true colors behind the guise of lulz and trolling, Kyle used ED, of all sites, for his personal vendettas and to qualm his hatred for women, even succeding for a couple of weeks taking advantage from Ediots being in a 90% rabid semi-autists who would chop their own leg if they smelt enough blood coming out of it... but as one can expect (unless you are a retard) soon thereafter, a crack team of certified e-detectives started to dig into the life and miracles of our little Kyle.
Early years
His begginings are already shrouded in ambiguity and fail.
His mom, bored of the trailer park and craving native cock, divorced his step-father to go to the Reserve to worship the Totem pole. After a while, feed up with the stallions' smell and wanting back civilization's luxuries like a shower or the wheel, crawled back home to check if her former husband could handle the cuck. He did, and then both re-married.
So the two mainly masculine influences in Kyle's life are an abbo and a piss mop. That explains a lot.
Sexuality
First and foremost, it's important to understand that Kyle Perkins is not a heterosexual male. Nope. In fact he's a few steps to the left of a flaming homosexual in that he fancys underage Filipino ladyboys and crossdressing grandpas. Kyle hides this from his internet friends because it would impede on his ability to manipulate the women he loathes, however has no problem sharing this with a mother who has disowned him and a step-father who likely has similar taste.
Wife Beater
IN THE RED CORNER: Standing at 6' 3'', weighing in at 260 lbs, hailing from the island of contempt, KYLE GENE PERKINS!
IN THE BLUE CORNER: Standing just over five feet tall, weighing in at less than half, hailing from numerous battered wife facebook groups, ANGELA PERKINS!
Kyle's wife left him because he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her. The reason he wouldn't stop beating the shit out of her was because she didn't have a penis. Had she done the right thing and a had strap on dildo permanently attached to her hip, Kyle would be spending his evenings licking his own fecal matter off a 12'' black dildo instead of trolling facebook for tit pics of 14 year old rednecks.
Pedophilia
Here are a few examples of Kyle and his interaction with minors:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
A co-worker -
-
One is left to ask, "well, he's clearly a faggot, why is he interested in nudes of young girls?" That's a very good question and the answer is that he obtains them for the sole purpose of using them against these kids in the future. See, Kyle is not interested in fap fodder, if he were looking to blow a load he'd stick a few beads up his cornhole and download some Trap-kun. Instead, he collects the nudes so that he can boast about them with other beta males and in the same move, add additional girth to his non-existant e-peen by becoming the admin of various teenage oriented anime roleplaying groups, adding a new meaning to the word "lame". By infiltrating these groups, he is ensured to obtain more pedo nudes from 13 year olds, starting the cycle again. He will use these nudes against his victims and post them publicly. Who cares about a Class F Felony when you have internet fame, amirite?
His Job
Did you know that Kyle is filthy fucking rich? By his own accord, he makes $180,000 a year working for Vivint in Tampa, Florida, selling solar panels and home security systems. Of course, anyone whose ever worked in the home security industry knows this is utter bullshit and he'd be lucky to be pulling 40.
Very lucky, cause he is now unemployed, as most of his life, and leeching some poor dumb cow, while he faps to shemale asian vomit porn, abandon her for days to go on egotrips to get drunk at the expense of some emotionally damaged teen until getting kicked out, and then boast online about how much of a winner he totally is. Classy as always, Kyle.
Kyle's Top 5 Excuses
An statistical analisys of his post shows these are the five excuses most used by him:
- I was drunk
- She's lying and a crazy bitch
- That's photoshooped
- I have my money blocked
- It wasn't me
The Saga of Kyle, Julianne and Encyclopedia Dramática
(On construction, today later)
Oh, did we mention that he's been with ED since day 1?
See Also
External Links
kyle.a.perkins.7
facebook Alt facebook
His brother is a cosplaying furfaggot
Current financial provider
kyleperkins3357
kyleperkins33572able
Arrested.
Arrested.
Arrested.
Domestic Violence.
Elder Scrolls Roleplaying Group
Tranny group he follows
Filipino ladyboy group he follows
Linkdin
Resume
Random
Sales competition, ranked 247 out of 256
[email protected]
Dating Profile
|
Kyle Perkins is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
