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Viacom: Difference between revisions

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{{Breakingnews|[https://www.thestreet.com/markets/viacomcbs-stock-slides-on-q4-earnings-miss-paramount-name-change HOLY SHIT THEY DON'T WANNA BE KNOWN AS "VIACOM" ANYMORE!!!1]}}
[[Image:Viacom.gif|thumb|The head of Viacom. Heheh, you said "head". You ain't gettin any.]]
[[Image:Viacom.gif|thumb|The head of Viacom. Heheh, you said "head". You ain't gettin any.]]


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*''[[Spongebob Squarepants]]''
*''[[Spongebob Squarepants]]''
*''[[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]'' - A schmuck-head who bitches about Viacom but is actually a bigger bitch than Viacom could ever hope to be.
*''[[TheMysteriousMrEnter]]'' - A schmuck-head who bitches about Viacom but is actually a bigger bitch than Viacom could ever hope to be.
*[[The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon]]
*''[[The Rise and Fall of Nickelodeon]]''
*[[The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]
*''[[The Adventures Of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]''


==External links==
==External links==

Latest revision as of 16:38, 25 May 2022

BREAKING NEWS!!
HOLY SHIT THEY DON'T WANNA BE KNOWN AS "VIACOM" ANYMORE!!!1
The head of Viacom. Heheh, you said "head". You ain't gettin any.

Viacom AKA Viacum (pronounced "Vie-ya-com" and is named for a Latin word meaning "kill your parents") is a media conglomerate created at least 100 years ago by CBS and Jews to put TV shows like All In The Family in syndication. Because leftards watched the show every week, Viacom got their money (and therefore power) and eventually bought out MTV, Paramount Pictures, the Spongebob Channel, and even their creator, CBS. Last Thursday, Viacom spun off their network TV stations and other boring shit into CBS Corporation, while Viacom itself kept the real moneymakers like cable TV and movies. Hahah, CBS got pwned.

Liberals who normally pretend to hate money-sucking big media love Viacom because they own Comedy Central and therefore The Daily Show.

Sumner Murray Rothstein (aka Sumner Redstone, because he doesn't want you to know he's a Jew), head of Viacom, considers himself a "liberal Democrat", but in 2004 he said he supported George W Bush because “I vote what’s good for Viacom. I vote, today, Viacom.” This is either yet another example of classic big media hypocrisy, or it means Viacom just wanted Bush so they could have a big conservative establishment to bash on their tarded teen-oriented channels.

In the end, Viacom is basically another hypocrite business, hiding behind the facade of being on the side of "the people" by catering to certain markets, particularly the teen angst one...but God forbid someone should want to pay tribute to their favorite shit Nicktoon with an AMV, or worse, post one of their old production logos for educational purposes on YouTube. (In fact, I am not exaggerating the fact that the latter seems to be considered worse than the former.)

Now that Murray is getting really old and senile and ready to croak, his daughter Shari and the Viacom top management are fighting like rabid rats over the kingdom.

Complete list of stuff Viacom owned (or used to)

As well as the fandoms they are responsible for, those bastards. Viacom started out as "Metromedia" in the 1970s, just a few TV stations and a production company that made boring shows like Mike Douglas. Redstone took over and built it into a massive conglomerate with control over 20% of all television programming in America. Thanks a lot you old fuck.

Viacom-owned CBS appeals to the leftards during the rightard-aimed Superbowl.

CBS - TV network with the huge fucking eye that looks like an anus. Head news anchor was leftard Dan Rather. See-B.S.? Boy, do we ever.

Typical Nick viewers

MTV networks - Not just made of MTV which no longer even has "Music", but also VH1 (which is supposed to be MTV for old people, but thanks to their 1980s obsession, it's main audience is emo teenagers who buy Ninja Turtles T-shirts at Hot Topic and think they're really learning about the decade they were barely around for, if they ever were), Nickelodeon (target audience: kids. Actual audience: pedophiles, stoners, and fags), Spike TV (Target audience: men. NO BITCH, YOU AIN'T WATCHING CSI RERUNS WITH ME! GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME DINNER!), Logo (the fag channel), CMT (the redneck channel), Comedy Central (like I said, audience is full of liberals and lots of other people who don't know what real comedy is), and TV Land (lame old-ass sitcom channel).

Typical VH1 viewer.
Viacom's oh-so-sophisticated shows distributed in the 70s.

BET - Television for nigras.

Viacom is a giant evil fish who rules the great city in the fishbowl. It feasts on the blood of Christian babies.

Showtime Networks - Y'know, it's kinda like HBO, except it's not. Yeah, just another buncha pay TV networks you gotta pay extra for just to see the boobs and swearing you can't see on basic cable. Don't bother shelling out all that money if you really wanna see shit like The L Word. It'll be on DVD in about a week anyway.

Paramount Pictures - Was once a proud maker of sophisticated classics such as Sunset Boulevard (1950) (although this has now been ruined thanks to the gay community thinking they can do a good impression of the old lady in the film). Latest release: Jackass Number Two.

Plus:

It was rumored for a while that they owned 50% of SEGA!, which would have made them also responsible for the furry faggotry of the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom, but it turned out to be just another case of Wikipedia being fucking liars again. Wait, Wikipedia always lies.

The V of Doom

Hey fucko! The main article is at Closing Logos Wiki!

The only thing that can destroy the V of DOOM is an ironic hipster fag wearing it on a shirt.
The big V(agina) of Doom

Back when the internets were just starting to get popular, a group of fat nerdy aspies with no life formed the Closing Logo Group and discussed those little bits of production company animation at the end of TV shows that normal (SANE) people don't care about. Many of these people remembered Viacom's old distribution logo in which a giant, purple cardboard V zooms up at the camera accompanied by a cheap, threatening synthesizer jingle. This, apparently, made the group members piss their pants as kids, so they called it the V of Doom. Never mind that it doesn't look like a V; more like a vagina, or a gay pride symbol, or a paper cup. Okay, maybe an evil paper cup. A vagina or gay pride symbol is probably more likely though since it turned all these people into fag pussies who videotape old, lame sitcoms to see if any old logos were kept on, and scream and cry if they weren't.


Since the Closing Logo Group was created in 1999, the V of Doom has been spread around like a meme to people who weren't even alive when it was used (the 70s). Look on any TV nostalgia board, and you'll find this conversation:


Another great way to destroy the V of doom:

HOLY SHIT, VIACOM SUES JEWTUBE!

Moar like SUETube now, amirite? HAHAHAHAHAH!...please kill me

Viacom seems to think that the bastards at Google planned for YouTube to have lots of crap AMVs made from Viacom shows. In fact, they said "fuck those motherfuckers" and sued Google for buying YouTube. Google came right back with failing to make a profit on YouTube, ever, thus proving that they didn't gain at all from Viacom's supposed loss.

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