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Chrono Trigger: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Flea.jpg|thumb|''Chrono Trigger'' is a favorite of cross dressers.]] | [[Image:Flea.jpg|thumb|''Chrono Trigger'' is a favorite of cross dressers.]] | ||
[[Image:Toriyama.JPG|thumb|Check out Toriyama's [[copypasta|completely original]] character designs! ]] | [[Image:Toriyama.JPG|thumb|Check out Toriyama's [[copypasta|completely original]] character designs! ]] | ||
{{spoilers|text=CRONO DIES, MAGUS WAS JANUS THE ENTIRE TIME, AND DALTON IS STILL ALIVE IN THE DS VERSION}} | {{spoilers|text=CRONO DIES, MAGUS WAS JANUS THE ENTIRE TIME, AND DALTON IS STILL ALIVE IN THE DS VERSION}} | ||
<b>''Chrono Trigger''</b> = [[No|ZOMG. BEST. FUCKING. GAME. EVER.]] Also, it was a highly popular [[SNES|Super Nintendo]] game that was (and still is) used frequently in [[YTMND]] fads. It is legitimately regarded as a RPG [[epic]], despite featuring a [[retarded|protagonist that is completely mute]]. In this game, one [[time paradox|time-travels]] to accomplish [[penis|junk]] like going back in time to fight a vicious [[troll|mole]] and save a princess. I shit you not. The original characters were designed by [[Dragon Ball Z]]'s Akira Toriyama and, as evidenced by the picture, we can see [[bullshit|he put a shit ton of effort into new and fresh characters]]. | <b>''Chrono Trigger''</b> ''(aka chrono nigger)'' = [[No|ZOMG. BEST. FUCKING. GAME. EVER.]] Also, it was a highly popular [[SNES|Super Nintendo]] game that was (and still is) used frequently in [[YTMND]] fads. It is legitimately regarded as a RPG [[epic]], despite featuring a [[retarded|protagonist that is completely mute]]. In this game, one [[time paradox|time-travels]] to accomplish [[penis|junk]] like going back in time to fight a vicious [[troll|mole]] and save a princess. I shit you not. The original characters were designed by [[Dragon Ball Z]]'s Akira Toriyama and, as evidenced by the picture, we can see [[bullshit|he put a shit ton of effort into new and fresh characters]]. | ||
==Typical Conversation== | ==Typical Conversation== | ||
'''Fantard A''': "What's your favorite RPG, buddy?" | |||
'''Fantard B''': ''Chrono Trigger'', but ''[[Final Fantasy 7]]'' comes second. | |||
'''Fantard A''': HOW CAN [[you|U]] SAY FINAL FANTASY ISNT THEBEST GAME EVER!!1!111???? I HATE U >:( | |||
And the argument turns into a flamewar which continues until a [[troll]] posts [[rule 34]] of either franchise to offend a [[mod]] who will proceed to [[Ban fucking everyone|BAN FUCKING EVERYONE]] from whatever shitty forum they inhabit. | |||
== Crono == | == Crono == | ||
Line 30: | Line 31: | ||
== Frog/Glenn == | == Frog/Glenn == | ||
Frog was a green haired fag knight who was turned into a frog by Magus. He joins the party to defeat Magus and turn himself back. He discovers the cure can only be obtained orally through Magus' cock which is an optional ending for the game. He was created to spread furdom to animals with scales for furries too radical for mainstream furfaggotry. | |||
Frog was a green haired fag knight who was turned into a frog by Magus. He joins the party to defeat Magus and turn himself back. He discovers the cure can only be | |||
== Rick Robo == | == Rick Robo == | ||
[[Image:Rick-robo.gif|thumb|Rick Astley [[akira|after becoming bonded with]] the [[Internet Hate Machine]] ]] | [[Image:Rick-robo.gif|thumb|150px|Rick Astley [[akira|after becoming bonded with]] the [[Internet Hate Machine]] ]] | ||
From far in the future comes this [[steampunk]] [[cock|monstrosity]]. While "Robo" may look like a regular [[whore|ho]]-hum robot, the truth could be no farther and more complex. In reality, the metal shell serves as a heavily protected mobile [[hugbox|sarcophagus]] containing the body of none other than [[anonymous|our]] very own [[Rick Astley]]. Thanks to the miraculous power of the [[internet hate machine]], Rick has the power to [[old meme|survive until the end of time]]. | From far in the future comes this [[steampunk]] [[cock|monstrosity]]. While "[[Unoriginal|Robo]]" may look like a regular [[whore|ho]]-hum robot, the truth could be no farther and more complex. In reality, the metal shell serves as a heavily protected mobile [[hugbox|sarcophagus]] containing the body of none other than [[anonymous|our]] very own [[Rick Astley]]. Thanks to the miraculous power of the [[internet hate machine]], Rick has the power to [[old meme|survive until the end of time]]. | ||
His side-quest is [[boring|notable]] as well. Robo plots to break free of the evil [[Communist]] regime, and his [[slut|girlfriend]] is the only other one who'll believe in him. After destroying [[Metroid|Mother Brain]], the fembot tells him that his name is really [[Greece|Prometheus]]. [[Shit nobody cares about|Wait, no one's read Anthem, right?]] Whatever the hell that is. | His side-quest is [[boring|notable]] as well. Robo plots to break free of the evil [[Communist]] regime, and his [[slut|girlfriend]] is the only other one who'll believe in him. After destroying [[Metroid|Mother Brain]], the fembot tells him that his name is really [[Greece|Prometheus]]. [[Shit nobody cares about|Wait, no one's read Anthem, right?]] Whatever the hell that is. | ||
== Endings == | == Endings == | ||
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<br> | <br> | ||
{{cg||Chrono_Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
<gallery | |||
Image:Chrono Pedo.JPG|The game features [[pedo|pedophiles]]. | Image:Chrono Pedo.JPG|The game features [[pedo|pedophiles]]. | ||
Image:Chrono Pedo2.JPG|More pedos | Image:Chrono Pedo2.JPG|More pedos | ||
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Image:Lucca Noooooooooo!!!.jpg|C'mon you obviously<br> knew she was a ho... | Image:Lucca Noooooooooo!!!.jpg|C'mon you obviously<br> knew she was a ho... | ||
Image:Lucca Noooooooooo!!!2.jpg|See? | Image:Lucca Noooooooooo!!!2.jpg|See? | ||
< | </gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
File:ChronoTriggered.jpg | |||
Image:Chronowigger.JPG|The game glorifies being a [[transvestite]]. | Image:Chronowigger.JPG|The game glorifies being a [[transvestite]]. | ||
Image:Bitch_fag_slut_whore_and_hoe.JPG|Well fuck you too,<br> you little bastard-bot! | Image:Bitch_fag_slut_whore_and_hoe.JPG|Well fuck you too,<br> you little bastard-bot! | ||
Image:Chrono Trigger BSOD.jpg|[[BSOD]] | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Ayla_Rapes_Chrono.gif|<center>Offers unique "rape mode" game play feature!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Strategically_Placed_Hole_-_01.png|[[Strategically Placed Hole]]? | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Strategically_Placed_Hole_-_02.png|<center>Let me lick your<br>creamy center!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Furry_Molestation_-_01.png|<center>No RPG is complete without fur fags!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Furry_Molestation_-_02.png|<center>Mmmm, a little<br>"tongue action".</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca_Classy.png|<center>Classy!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca_Too_Much_To_Drink.png|<center>That felt better goin down than commin back up!</center> | |||
File:Clownbaloon Fair.gif | |||
<!--Image:Shaun-white.jpg|IRL Crono is actually a master of air and ice.--> | |||
<!--Image:Lucca_masturbating.gif|The animators use every chance they get to add porn to the game.--> | |||
</gallery> | |||
|}} | |||
<br> | |||
==The Quest For Lucca's Stolen Virginity!== | |||
<center>'''SPOILERS!<br>ACTUAL GAME SCREENCAPS!'''</center> | |||
<br> | |||
<center> | |||
<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_01.png|<center>After A Late Night Of Intense Partying</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_02.png|<center>Our [[An Hero|Hero]] Awakens</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_03.png|<center>Srsly Chrono, You Stink!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_04.png|<center>Hurty Vajayjays?</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_05.png|<center>[[PedoBear|I Wonder...]]</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_06.png|<center>OH NOES!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_07.png|<center>But Can Our Heroes Find The Stolen Virginity?!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_08.png|<center>SHOCKING!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_09.png|<center>That Cherry Popping Pedo Won't Get Away With It!</center> | |||
Image:Chrono_Trigger_-_Lucca's_Virginity_-_10.png|<center>Date Rapes Is<br>[[serious business|SRS Business]]!</center> | |||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
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==Square-Enix Trolls the Fans== | ==Square-Enix Trolls the Fans== | ||
If you follow the [[drama|news]] regarding ''Chrono Trigger'', you know Square-Enix is notorious for trolling the fans. (''Chrono Resurrection'' anyone?) Well on May 8th of 2009, they went at it again, this time [http://www.chronocompendium.com/CEOrder.PDF pwning a fan ROM hack years in the making]! [[Lulz|Apparently reverse-engineering a game is illegal these days]]. | If you follow the [[drama|news]] regarding ''Chrono Trigger'', you know Square-Enix is notorious for trolling the fans. (''Chrono Resurrection'' anyone?) Well on May 8th of 2009, they went at it again, this time [http://www.chronocompendium.com/CEOrder.PDF pwning a fan ROM hack years in the making]! [[Lulz|Apparently reverse-engineering a game is illegal these days]]. | ||
==See Also== | |||
*[[Super Nintendo]] | |||
*[[Final Fantasy VI]] | |||
*[[Earthbound]] | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*PRO-TIP: [http://chronotriggerworked.ytmnd.com/ YTMND corrupts your video gaming memories for the Lulz] | *PRO-TIP: [http://chronotriggerworked.ytmnd.com/ YTMND corrupts your video gaming memories for the Lulz] | ||
{{Nintendo}} | |||
{{Gaming}} | {{Gaming}} | ||
[[Category:Gaming]] | [[Category:Gaming]] | ||
[[Category:Memes]] | [[Category:Memes]] |
Latest revision as of 15:45, 29 December 2016
Chrono Trigger (aka chrono nigger) = ZOMG. BEST. FUCKING. GAME. EVER. Also, it was a highly popular Super Nintendo game that was (and still is) used frequently in YTMND fads. It is legitimately regarded as a RPG epic, despite featuring a protagonist that is completely mute. In this game, one time-travels to accomplish junk like going back in time to fight a vicious mole and save a princess. I shit you not. The original characters were designed by Dragon Ball Z's Akira Toriyama and, as evidenced by the picture, we can see he put a shit ton of effort into new and fresh characters.
Typical Conversation
Fantard A: "What's your favorite RPG, buddy?"
Fantard B: Chrono Trigger, but Final Fantasy 7 comes second.
Fantard A: HOW CAN U SAY FINAL FANTASY ISNT THEBEST GAME EVER!!1!111???? I HATE U >:(
And the argument turns into a flamewar which continues until a troll posts rule 34 of either franchise to offend a mod who will proceed to BAN FUCKING EVERYONE from whatever shitty forum they inhabit.
Crono
Would have been called Chrono but each character was only allowed five letters in their game name. The poster child for the video game trend where the main character cannot talk. Also bears a striking resemblance to the main character in Secret of Mana-- thus perpetuating the incidence of 13year-old boys around the world believing that they are uniquely chosen for a mystic destiny.
Magus
Magus is the blue-purple haired gothic elf wizard thing who teenagers masturbate over and write terrible slashfic. Of course, once Final Fantasy 7 was released, Sephiroth came along and took his place as the resident long haired goth faggot of video game fandom. Riku from Kingdom Hearts tried to make a run for the title, but the crown has yet to be relinquished.
An important side note is that Magus is his drag queen stage name. His actual name is Janus, which just so happens to contain the word 'anus'. Is that a coincidence?
Hardly.
Both Janus/Magus hail from the emo persuasion. Check out this irrefutable evidence:
- They don't talk much.
- They're moody and bring you down when they actually do.
- They complain about the woe of their lives and the darkness therein.
- They presumably write poetry when not practicing the art of magic.
- Their hair obscures the face.
Some 13-year-old boys still idolize him even though the game was released some 13 years ago and can be seen putting his stupid lines from the game in their signatures on message boards like GameFAQs.
Frog/Glenn
Frog was a green haired fag knight who was turned into a frog by Magus. He joins the party to defeat Magus and turn himself back. He discovers the cure can only be obtained orally through Magus' cock which is an optional ending for the game. He was created to spread furdom to animals with scales for furries too radical for mainstream furfaggotry.
Rick Robo
From far in the future comes this steampunk monstrosity. While "Robo" may look like a regular ho-hum robot, the truth could be no farther and more complex. In reality, the metal shell serves as a heavily protected mobile sarcophagus containing the body of none other than our very own Rick Astley. Thanks to the miraculous power of the internet hate machine, Rick has the power to survive until the end of time.
His side-quest is notable as well. Robo plots to break free of the evil Communist regime, and his girlfriend is the only other one who'll believe in him. After destroying Mother Brain, the fembot tells him that his name is really Prometheus. Wait, no one's read Anthem, right? Whatever the hell that is.
Endings
Chrono Trigger, famous for multiple endings which varied based on when you finished the game. For example if you fail to steal the idol from the lizard trolls in the ancient time and choose to beat the big boss right then and there, the world winds up turning out like Atlanta.
Gallery
-
The game features pedophiles.
-
More pedos
-
Also more pedos
-
C'mon you obviously
knew she was a ho... -
See?
-
The game glorifies being a transvestite.
-
Well fuck you too,
you little bastard-bot! -
Offers unique "rape mode" game play feature! -
Let me lick your
creamy center! -
No RPG is complete without fur fags! -
Mmmm, a little
"tongue action". -
Classy! -
That felt better goin down than commin back up!
The Quest For Lucca's Stolen Virginity!
ACTUAL GAME SCREENCAPS!
-
After A Late Night Of Intense Partying -
Our Hero Awakens -
Srsly Chrono, You Stink! -
Hurty Vajayjays? -
OH NOES! -
But Can Our Heroes Find The Stolen Virginity?! -
SHOCKING! -
That Cherry Popping Pedo Won't Get Away With It! -
Date Rapes Is
SRS Business!
Square-Enix Trolls the Fans
If you follow the news regarding Chrono Trigger, you know Square-Enix is notorious for trolling the fans. (Chrono Resurrection anyone?) Well on May 8th of 2009, they went at it again, this time pwning a fan ROM hack years in the making! Apparently reverse-engineering a game is illegal these days.
See Also
External Links
Chrono Trigger is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |