What to do when your family disowns you

Being disowned (banned IRL) by your family happens when one of two conditions are met, either you have fucked up so totally that the only way you can find people to love you is on IRC by pretending to be a 16 year old girl with rape fantasies or someone slandered you (probably a troll) to your entire family, ie. you were the victim of trolling IRL buddy.

If you are a serious oldfag who has been on the interwebz since the days of the dialup connection and you haven't talked to your family in years it is because you pulled the ban hammer on them and not the other way around. Pick up your brand spanking new cell phone that isn't your main interwebz device and call them you stupid basement dwelling fag!

Reasons You May Have Been Disowned

1. You got pwnd by da pigs for being a hacker member of the Internet Terrorist group Anonymous. As your so called family has been indoctrinated by the propagandists at CNN and Fox News they all think that you are involved in activities like engaging in a Ddos of the C.I.A. and/or the F.B.I. and they will all become victims of MK Delta or COINTELPRO while you get v&

2. Your family just found out that you are gay, or worse, they hacked your e-mail and found one from one of your anon friends just calling you a fag and automatically assumed that you really do like to have sex with people of your own gender, because your family is a stupid pack of fucktards.

3. Your obsession for Jew Gold became so intense you decided to start going to synagogue, only to find out that every member of your family is a Hitler obsessed Nazi that fails to realize that they originally did it for teh lulz.

Options

In the event you got trolled hard IRL and you find yourself in the IRC with no social life you do have options.

1. You must tape or video record all conversations with those members of your ex-family and post all of the conversations which contain the slander on YouTube (please make sure that your video points out the slander, for your own safety), then drop the link in any room in the IRC and watch the comments regarding what a flaming pile of shit your ex-relatives are pile up. When you feel like you have a sufficient number of comments, make sure that your now ex-relative gets the link so that they learn what a steaming load of ass fucked sheep shit they truly are. If you are feeling like living on the edge, leave the phone number of the now ex-relative out in the open where anyone can see it and call it, therefore adding to your fun of rubbing some ass wipe trolls face in it by starting a Flame War IRL.

2. If you have any good dirt on the troll who came after your ass IRL USE IT, USE IT NOW! (A technique called Trolls Trolling Trolls) A good example of dirt that could be used against a troll IRL is if they own a restaurant that was originally a franchise, then your relative stole the recipes, changed the name of the restaurant, and continued to operate just like nothing had happened. This business is a good example of a metaphorical IRL penis, and should be treated like it is the e-penis of the troll. If you contact the business they ripped off and tell them everything, you can be sure that they will go after your trolls ass with you.

3. You could also just call a lawyer and sue the troll for slander, ensuring that you will have enough money to buy a new computer every year or so for the purpose of enjoying your new life online.

The Best Solution

Kill yourself! :D

No, srsly, becoming an hero will very likely "teach them a lesson" and make them feels horrible trolls remorse as your family winds up perma-branded as unloving, horrible, sick fucks who drove their own spawn to suicide when they rejected and disowned them. Sure, it's extreme, but your life is ultimately fleeting to begin with and ensuring that history remembers that you were right and they were wrong is pretty much the best consolation prize you could hope for.

Don't become deluded with any ideas about somehow "making it big" and then making them feel all guilty once you become rich and famous, because that's simply not going to happen...ever. Suicide really is your only viable recourse. It's cheap, easy, and super effective!

In Conclusion

If you fucked up your life so hard that every person who once loved you now hates you and you get online and continue to pull your bullshit everyone will enjoy calling you a troll and watching you get kicked/banned from every room you try to enter, even if you are claiming to be a 16 year old girl with rape fantasies, or claim to enjoy sex with animals, therefore making you a Furfag.

	What to do when your family disowns you is part of a series on Life [BRB HugboxGo Live One]
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