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Donald Drumpf: Difference between revisions

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{{天|'''This article relies entirely on [[facts]].''' <br/> Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings.|Factcat_seal_of_approval.gif|78px|#E8E8E8|100%}}
:''Are you a [[white nationalist]] [[Kekistan|Kekistani]] [[manchild]]? Check out '''[[The Donald]]''' for the ([[lie|much funnier]]) [[Zionist|pro-Trump]] article.''
:''However, if you wanted to see the [[b&|ex]]-[[Reddit|subreddit]] [[circlejerk]] website, check out '''[[TheDonald]]'''.''
{{Corner|br|[[File:Trump watching you fap.png|100px]]}}
{{Corner|br|[[File:Trump watching you fap.png|100px]]}}


<center>[[image:Russian Stoge.jpg]]</center>
<center>[[image:Russian Stoge.jpg]][[image:MOVEOVERJESUS.jpg]]</center>
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{{achtung|THE DONALD IS A LIE. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES.}}
{{achtung|[[The Donald|(((THE DONALD)))]] IS A LIE. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES.}}


{{offended}}<br>
{{spoiler|Trump is officially a Zionist Neocon who bombs innocent Syrians (who are in fact fighting ISIS) because his Jewish daughter told her so}}


{{spoiler|Trump is officially a Zionist Neocon who bombs innocent Syrians (who are in fact fighting ISIS) because his Jewish daughter told her so}}


[[File:Trump is Putin.gif|right|thumb|It's me America, It's me America, it was me all along America, you all bought it, you all bought it hook, line and sinker.]]
[[File:Trump is Putin.gif|right|thumb|It's me America, It's me America, it was me all along America, you all bought it, you all bought it hook, line and sinker.]]
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[[File:Trump Fag.gif|right|220px|thumb|Why does he always sniff that microphone, oh nevermind]]
[[File:Trump Fag.gif|right|220px|thumb|Why does he always sniff that microphone, oh nevermind]]


''Are you a [[white nationalist]] [[Kekistan]] [[manchild]]? Check out <b>[[The Donald]]</b> for the pro-Trump article.''<br /><br />
''''


Donald Trump, '''[[Powerword|Donald Drumpf]]'''{{jew}} or Fuckface Von Clownstick, is a dead animal toupee wearing, small handed, pussy grabbing, spoiled, retarded, moronic, draft dodging, shameless, cheating, lying, good for nothing, attention whoring, bullshitting, illiterate, egotistical, maniacal, raping, perverted, godless, hypocritical, flip flopping, indecent, greedy, loud mouthed, son of orangutan sycophant who [[troll|somehow]]  became the first American Not My President in 2016 by saying out loud in National Television what [[Republican|sub-human]] voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see [[American|average voter IQ]]) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he [https://www.opensecrets.org/pres16/contrib.php?cycle=All&id=N00023864&type actually was]. The rest of his campaign, was literally his lending himself the money, self funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other [[Jews|real estate developers from Queens]]. <br />
Donald Trump, '''[[Powerword|Donald Drumpf]]'''{{jew}} or '''Fuckface Von Clownstick'''{{nazi}}, is a dead animal toupee wearing, small-handed, pussy-grabbing, spoiled, retarded, moronic, draft-dodging, shameless, cheating, lying, good for nothing, attention whoring, bullshitting, illiterate, egotistical, maniacal, raping, perverted, godless, hypocritical, flip-flopping, indecent, greedy, jewish, loud-mouthed, son of orangutan sycophant who [[troll|somehow]]  became the first American Not My President in 2016 by saying out loud in National Television what [[Republican|sub-human]] voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see [[American|average voter IQ]]) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he [https://www.opensecrets.org/pres16/contrib.php?cycle=All&id=N00023864&type actually was]. The rest of his campaign was literally his lending himself the money, self-funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other [[Jews|real estate developers from Queens]]. <br />


In [[2016 Presidential Election|November 2016]], [[Amerifat]] handed its [[car]] keys to a total fucking dotard, mistakenly thinking he knew how to drive a country because he repeatedly said he's the best in the world, even though he drove multiple businesses into ditches and became indebted to the [[Russia]]n mob because they're the only ones who would loan him money. [[Protip]]: In [[Best Korea]], it's pronounced "Dotard Drumpf."
In [[2016 Presidential Election|November 2016]], [[Amerifat]] handed its [[car]] keys to a total fucking dotard, mistakenly thinking he knew how to drive a country because he repeatedly said he's the best in the world, even though he drove multiple businesses into ditches and became indebted to the [[Russia]]n mob because they're the only ones who would loan him money. [[Protip]]: In [[Best Korea]], it's pronounced "Dotard Drumpf."


For the sake of clarity, we have divided up the life story of this meme in three chapters which are as follows:  
For the sake of clarity, we have divided up the life story of this meme into three chapters which are as follows:  


*Before his rise to worldwide fame as a manbaby
*Before his rise to worldwide fame as a manbaby
*His Oscar winning performance of a madmanbaby running for president
*His Oscar-winning performance of a madmanbaby running for president
*Post awards ceremony where he now has to actually govern this great nation of ours
*Post awards ceremony where he now has to actually govern this great nation of ours


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===Trump is not his real name===
===Trump is not his real name===


Like two out of three [[White|Red-Blooded]] Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a [[German]], but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll macht frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.  
Like two out of three [[White|Red-Blooded]] Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a [[German]], but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll Macht Frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.  
{{quote|For single men the Arctic has excellent accommodations as well as the best restaurant in Bennett, but I would not advise respectable women to go there to sleep as they are liable to hear that which would be repugnant to their feelings – and uttered, too, by the depraved of their own sex|Yukon Sun}}
{{quote|For single men, the Arctic has excellent accommodations as well as the best restaurant in Bennett, but I would not advise respectable women to go there to sleep as they are liable to hear that which would be repugnant to their feelings – and uttered, too, by the depraved of their own sex|Yukon Sun}}


*The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.  
*The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice, and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.  
*Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
*Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
*His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(
*His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(
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*1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. [http://www.nytimes.com/1990/11/17/business/trump-47-million-short-gives-investors-50-of-his-prize-casino.html He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn] - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. [http://www.nytimes.com/1990/11/17/business/trump-47-million-short-gives-investors-50-of-his-prize-casino.html He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn] - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost-rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.  
*1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.  
*2004 - Couldn't afford the [http://www.nbcnews.com/id/6556470/ "crushing debt"] of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*2004 - Couldn't afford the [http://www.nbcnews.com/id/6556470/ "crushing debt"] of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy  
*2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
*2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
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*2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
*2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
*2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a [http://blog.chron.com/celebritybuzz/2011/02/donald-trumps-alcoholic-brother-scared-him-off-booze/ severe alcoholic]?
*2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a [http://blog.chron.com/celebritybuzz/2011/02/donald-trumps-alcoholic-brother-scared-him-off-booze/ severe alcoholic]?
*2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
*2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately, she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
*2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?  
*2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?  
*2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for [http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-university-sued-2013-8?IR=T 40 million dollars, because he lied].  
*2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for [http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-university-sued-2013-8?IR=T 40 million dollars because he lied].  
Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon to be President.
Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon-to-be President.


===Lifestyle===
===Lifestyle===


President Trump spends his days in his [[Manhattan]] home, eating [[Delicious Cake|delicious cake]] and playing with himself. He dreams of [[Jessi Slaughter]] and [[faps]] his 24 karat gilded five inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in [[Shotacon|little boys]] with wads of [[money|cash]] to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind [[Boku no Pico]]. [[True|It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood]], but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments, if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to [[Apple|militant homosexuals]] after he [[Cocks|locks]] up the [[NAMBLA|GOP]] nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from [[nigger|green business]] [[suit]]s to [[Slut|skimpy, black]] [[panties]]. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, ''twice'', the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is '''fucking impossible''' unless you <s>are a</s> hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his [[neo-con]] friends (including the Clintons) and begging for [[Bailout Plan|bailouts]] from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and [[poor|you are reading this not fully clothed]].
President Trump spends his days in his [[Manhattan]] home, eating [[Delicious Cake|delicious cake]] and playing with himself. He dreams of [[Jessi Slaughter]] and [[faps]] his 24 karat gilded five-inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in [[Shotacon|little boys]] with wads of [[money|cash]] to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind [[Boku no Pico]]. [[True|It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood]], but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to [[Apple|militant homosexuals]] after he [[Cocks|locks]] up the [[NAMBLA|GOP]] nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from [[nigger|green business]] [[suit]]s to [[Slut|skimpy, black]] [[panties]]. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, ''twice'', the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is '''fucking impossible''' unless you <s>are a</s> hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his [[neo-con]] friends (including the Clintons) and begging for [[Bailout Plan|bailouts]] from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and [[poor|you are reading this not fully clothed]].


==The Birther Movement==
==The Birther Movement==
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[[File:Trump Bankruptcies.jpg|thumb|220px|right|What Obama though of this jackoff before he won, can you blame him]]
[[File:Trump Bankruptcies.jpg|thumb|220px|right|What Obama though of this jackoff before he won, can you blame him]]


This issue made this asshole's campaign momentum possible to being with, rode it all the way through till the effect wore off.
This issue made this asshole's campaign momentum possible to begin with, rode it all the way through till the effect wore off.
How the issue unfolded is summed up by the pictures below ordered in sequence.
How the issue unfolded is summed up by the pictures below ordered in sequence.


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===Has Jewish Links===
===Has Jewish Links===


The irony that Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Alex Jones and KKK support him despite him having a Jew for a son-in-law and his daughter became a Jew.
The irony that Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Alex Jones, and KKK support him despite him having a Jew for a son-in-law and his daughter became a Jew.
Also the Prime Minister of Israel and Right Wing love him in Israel.
Also the Prime Minister of Israel and Right Wing love him in Israel.
<br>
<br>
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File:Serves Him Right He Voted Trump.jpg
File:Serves Him Right He Voted Trump.jpg
File:Trump Zionist Magazine.jpg
File:Trump Zionist Magazine.jpg
File:Trump Shekel.jpg|Don't believe us, the kikes in [[Israel]] literally put his face on a coin.
File:Trump Shekel 2.jpg
</center>
</center>
</gallery>|border=gold|background=gold}}
</gallery>|border=gold|background=gold}}
</center>
</center>
<br>
<br>
===How his followers deal with his numerous fuckups and scandals===
===How his followers deal with his numerous fuckups and scandals===


When you are inducted into the Trump Supporters Party, you must support the Dear Great Leader at all costs, no matter how small the insult is, you must defend him. A basic attack is to being butthurt over Hillary and liberals can't accept the miracles of our Dear Great Leader. For advanced training, use ShariaBlue and Shill to destroy the political thread because all of them must be paid off by the Jews, George Soros, David Brock and Deep State.
When you are inducted into the Trump Supporters Party, you must support the Dear Great Leader at all costs, no matter how small the insult is, you must defend him. A basic attack is to being butthurt over Hillary and liberals can't accept the miracles of our Dear Great Leader. For advanced training, use ShariaBlue and Shill to destroy the political thread because all of them must be paid off by the Jews, George Soros, David Brock, and Deep State.


<center>
<center>
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===Make incest great again===
===Make incest great again===


Despite a many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.
Despite many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.


<center><youtube>DpOZVN4_Ihc</youtube><br />
<center><youtube>DpOZVN4_Ihc</youtube><br />
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</center>
</center>


<center>Surprisingly this short fingered [[narcissistic|vulgarian]] got himself a Walk of Fame Star, but not for much longer, as [[metrosexual|people]] are using it as a toilet, as they [[retard|confuse]] it with the man. As a result it has begun to stink more than Drumpf's asshole, as he can't wipe properly with those tiny fingers. </center>
<center>Surprisingly this short-fingered [[narcissistic|vulgarian]] got himself a Walk of Fame Star, but not for much longer, as [[metrosexual|people]] are using it as a toilet, as they [[retard|confuse]] it with the man. As a result it has begun to stink more than Drumpf's asshole, as he can't wipe properly with those tiny fingers. </center>


<center>
<center>
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File:Drumpf Star Piss And Shit 7.jpg
File:Drumpf Star Piss And Shit 7.jpg
File:Drumpf Star Piss And Shit 8.jpg
File:Drumpf Star Piss And Shit 8.jpg
</gallery>
</center>
==The Donaldmatrix Pill Test==
Hi snow flakes, if you made this far and want to test your mental state before we get to the main Presidential course, you will need to take this test to figure out if you need to be compassionately euthanized or a regular average Joe who fears for the direction of our nation.
There are two pictures below.
If you choose the right pill, go fill up the bathtub with warm water, strip naked, get into the bathtub with a sharp ass knife, slit your wrist below the water and you will bleed out and meet Allah.
If you choose the left pill, you are a sane and reasonable person but just to make sure, report to your local CDC office for massive exposure to bullshit unless Trump shut that down.
<center>
<gallery>
File:Trump Best Words.jpg
File:Trump Moron.jpg
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===Obamacare Repeal===
===Obamacare Repeal===


Promised to repeal Obamacare on Day 1, took 2 months to come up with a replacement only for it to die dead on arrival on the first attempt in the House despite Republicunts and Cuckservatives controlling the House, Senate and Presidency.
Promised to repeal Obamacare on Day 1, took 2 months to come up with a replacement only for it to die dead on arrival on the first attempt in the House despite Republicunts and Cuckservatives controlling the House, Senate, and Presidency.


<center>
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|}}
|}}


==Donald the Destructor==
==The Pussification of America as the Great Old Fuck George Carlin called it eons ago==
In the year of our Lord 2016, [[Amerifat]] was asked by [[Republican|the RNC]] and [[Democrat|the DNC]] to [[2016 Presidential Election|choose]] the form of the destructor, and with the help of [[Russia|Vodkaville]] trollfarms and the complicity of spineless Republitards willing to pay any price for taxcuts for millionaires (including global [[nuke|nuclear]] war), the obese American "people", who were upset by eight years of a black man in a white house, chanted "think of something white, think of something white" and elected the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, a giant retarded mentally unstable destructive white monster who resembles a fat angry baby and who only knows how to clumsily stomp on things and burn every bridge. Shortly after November 8, 2016, it was announced the Choice is made! The Traveller has come! With the destructor chosen, Amerilard was doomed. The President is, in the words of his very own Secretary of State who he picked himself, a "fucking moron." Much like the film [[shit|Happy Death Day]], the American people would be tormented by a psychopathic baby who tries to kill them every day. Only after fat Americans realized that Donald Drumpf was shitting in their cupcakes every morning with his [[Twitter|pooptweets]] would they realize who was sabotaging America, all because the richest man in the world, [[Putin|Flatterer Poopin]], was blackmailing him. For his next feat, President Drumpf will pick another [[redundant|amoral Jew]] for his cabinet, [[Harvey Weinstein]] for Secretary of Homeland Security.
 
[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]? Moar liek Donald Dump amirite? Worst Donald Ever. Do you think that baby name is more popular or less popular now, Donny Boy? President Trump? Moar liek President Dump amirite? President Dump gives himself a perfect score: in [[golf]], in [[Puerto Rico|Phuerto Rhico]], and in everything actually. There is nobody on the planet more perfect than Donald Dump. Which is why he's so good at golf. Which is why he needs to read good stories about himself twice a day. His face is gold and his toilets are [[gold]] because he [[shit]]s gold, and he wants to give that gold to the American people! Donald Drumpf has the Midas touch, everything he touches turns to gold -- [[piss|golden showers]]. Beautiful, gorgeous, sparkling piss. So beautiful. It'll be the best urine, the best. You're gonna love it. Everybody's gonna love it. Believe me. Would I lie to you? Donald Dump likes to piss on people's legs and tell them it's raining. Or more accurately, he likes Russian [[whore]]s to piss on their legs, and [[Putin]] says "is rain."
 
What happens when you let a president with Alzheimer's stay in office too long? Stay tuned! America is about to find out! How exciting! It's like there's a ticking timebomb inside the president's brain, and everybody knows where the bomb is, but Jack Bauer is retired. And somebody is making threatening phonecalls, and they're coming from inside the White House. Stop this ride, I want to get off. In 2016, America collectively said "I crashed my car into the bridge. I don't care!" and [[idiot|Don. Jr]] said "I love it!" Since Amerifat shit the bed in 2016, it's appropriate that Donald Trump and his cabinet is a shit tornado, a shitnado (not to be confused with "shit NATO", which is a feeling that Donnie has in his loins). Believe me. Believe me. Pls. Pls to be dismantle NATO. Pls to be remove sanctions. Pls to be electing Dolan Drumpf. Halp him grab pusy. Sincerely, <s>Mother Russia</s> [[the South]] will rise again!
 
==How did this fucktard win==
 
[[File:But her emails.jpg|right|thumb|Remember this is the future you choose]]
 
If you have made it this far and wonder how did this degenerate and hedonist become president, its because the god of kek wills it.
 
Now for the serious business answer, 4chan 's /pol/ role in the Great Meme war granted him victory over that demon from hell.
 
Okay I'm just fucking with you, those hard working /pol/iticans have a high degree of unwarranted self importance but Donald Drumpf won
because the smug assholes on the left acted like communist traitors by interfering with free market in their primaries and rigged it for
faux liberal Hillary Clinton to ironically defeat actual socialist Bernie Sanders. Also Hillary promised Deep South Niggers more free stuff.
So the great white Bitch ignores the Rust Belt where her competitor YOU KNOW FUCKING WHO had been pandering to all year and instead goes to
wealthy dinners sponsored by Hollywood feminists and Jew Bankers, guess why she was hated, and does a shit job at not being a robot or tool.
SO on the day of reckoning, she loses by double the margin of minimum votes she was predicted to beat this WHINEY LITTLE BITCH.
 
===Terrorist Organizations connected to Donald Trump===
 
Y'all-Qaeda
 
Talibangelicals
 
Ismerica State
 
Yokel Haram
 
A Whiter Shade of Pale
 
Vanilla ISIS
 
Trumptards
 
Trumpanzees
 
Trumppalos
 
Trumpettes
 
Trumpists
 
==Eye of the Storm==
Last Thursday, professional golddigging whore Stormy Daniels aka Stephanie Clifford admitted to having an "affair" with stupid obese adulterer The Donald in 2006, during the time that The Donald's Slavic escort mail-order wife Melania had a 3-month old autistic baby boy named Barron. Although some argue that a rag called InTouch magazine had a story about that before in 2011. Also, another professional whore named Alana Evans said the Donald tried to persuade her to "have some fun" with The Donald and Stormy Daniels in 2006, in some kind of STD threeway like The Donald was Charlie Sheen or some shit. The Physician to the President, Ronny Jackson who is also a US Navy admiral and basically has to do whatever the Commander-in-Chief orders him to, said The Donald weighs 239 pounds and is in perfect health. So at this point it's probably safe to assume that The Donald is now HIV positive and/or has a syphilitic brain, which would explain...just about everything really. Some argue that the Stormy Daniels story could explain why Melania Trump reportedly had divorce papers already made up and ready to sign before The Donald's inauguration in January 2016, in addition to the billionarefucker Playboy Playmate of the Year Karen MacDougal. Although, after Melania eventually takes half, The Donald will be only be a multi-millionaire (like he already is, or not. Can the Russian mob give us a count?).
 
After The Donald had spent at least 100 days in office (and at least 200 days golfing), Clifford spilled the beans even though she had already accumulated six figures to be quiet like some paid-off Weinstein whore, and even though The Donald's Jew lawyer Michael Cohen set up a fake name corporation in Delaware, and paid her over $9,000 in hush money ($130,000) about a month before the 2016 Presidential Election for her to shut her goddamn whore mouth. But like most blackmail, the blackmailer always wants moar. And like all women, Clifford wants it both ways. How does she get to keep the money again if she spoke? Being a professional whore, Clifford could neither shut her fucking mouth nor shut her fucking legs, and in early 2018 just in time for The Donald's first State of the Union address, the story has made liberals vomit everywhere and has made "conservatives" masturbate furiously to videos of Clifford being a cumdumpster on Pornhub like the cucks they are. The silence from "conservatives" and the conservative media has been deafening. If Obama did it, conservatives would be running around with their hair on fire. Then again, Faux News was the home of sleazeballs Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly.
 
Highlights of the trashy story ripped from the Jerry Springer show include:
*The Donald forced Stormy Daniels to watch Shark Week with him for 3 hours
*The Donald is terrified of sharks
*The Donald hopes all the sharks die
*The Donald said professional cumdumpster Stormy Daniels reminded him of his daughter Ivanka
*The Donald likes to be spanked. He had Stormy Daniels spank him with a Forbes magazine from 2006 with a cover that featured The Donald and his daughterwife Ivanka, sure to be a collectible on eBay right now for over $9,000
*The Donald rawdogged pornstar Stormy Daniels, surely a disease-riddled whore. He didn't use a condom.
*She says The Donald is bad in bed, a lousy lay
*She said The Donald didn't give the kind of XXX-rated performance that a cum-receptacle like herself was used to
*She said she can describe his "junk perfectly"
*The Donald has a smaller than average penis. Much like his tiny hands
*The Donald had Stormy Daniels sign his 3 Wishes adult film DVD. Like he was some kind of cuck fan
*The Donald loved when Stormy Daniels made fun of him. Like some kind of cuck
*The Donald called Jenna Jameson a bimbo. Unlike Stormy Daniels
*Stormy Daniels felt bad that Trump cheated on Melania with her. Although apparently not bad enough to not be the other woman. And not bad enough to keep her whore mouth shut.
*The Donald said he thinks if he changed his hair he would lose his power and wealth (like Samson LOL)
*Incidentally, the hair-loss drug that The Donald takes has been linked with brokendick erectile dysfunction and depression
*The Donald promised her a condo in the fictional Trump Tower Tampa
*Stormy Daniels was thinking about running for Senate, with the slogan "Screwing People Honestly"
*Never trust anybody named "Stormy"
*Giving whores money won't even keep them quiet
*The Donald made Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and brain damage victim Big Ben "Raped Me In The Bathroom" Roethlisberger "promise to take care of her" and Big Ben walked her home
 
Famewhore and actual whore Stormy Daniels used her newfound fame to start a Make America Horny Again Tour, because she doesn't understand that she is a flabby disgusting whore starfucker and The Donald is an even flabbier starfucker and adulterer. Although, as the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey proved, women get turned on by the idea of fucking sexually aggressive billionaires and using them as ATMs and potentially getting half their moniez, which is why 9/20 white women with college voted for President Shithole over a woman, and why over 6/10 white women without college voted for President Trainwreck over a woman.
 
In early 2018, Democrats were invigorated by a potential President Oprah after she accepted the Cecil B. de Mille Award at the 2018 Golden Globe Awards. The Donald said Oprah would be fun, and that he would beat Oprah. Then Democrats remembered that Oprah helped sell 20 million copies of the magical thinking book The Secret, which monetized an ancient meme from Pinocchio ("when you wish upon a star...anything your heart desires will come to you"), and some lost interest. In response to the degenerate Stormy Daniels story, Democrats announced that the Democratic nominee for president in 2020 will be a great white shark. The shark will be present during all debates in a giant tank of water, with a stick at the bottom to make it feel like home. In addition to pinning their hopes on President Shark, Democrats also picked for their vice presidential nominee, Vice President Blockchain, to make up the Shark/Blockchain 2020 ticket, and that all campaign contributions could only be made in the joke currency Dogecoin, an attempt by liberals to weaponize the Doge meme versus the weaponized Pepe meme which some argue is the embodiment of Stephen Miller's wetdreams.
 
==This Whole Trump Rusher Thing With Trump And Russia==
{{blink|red|5|MAKE RUSSIA GREAT AGAIN!}}
 
Zdravstvuj! Greetings comrades! Please to be welcoming Donald J. Trump, Amerifat's first Russian vice president, second in command and bottom bitch to Amerifat's first Russian president, [[Bad Vlad|Vladimir Putin]]! In Soviet [[Russia]], President Trump elects you! When you're a star, they let you do it, you can do anything. Grab the cunt for Red October!
 
Donald Drumpf is a <s>billionaire</s> millionaire rapist moron with tiny hands who can't even run a casino where drunk retards just give you money, which even a drunken Injun can manage. The Donald is currently a reality TV host of a shitshow in the White House (and 20% on golf courses) and father to one or more autistic boys. Donald Drumpf is also a grandpa conman with Alzheimers who is being blackmailed by Russians. This makes Trump quite a useful Russian tool and useful idiot for VodkaVille. Donald Drumpf is also the first cult leader to become president in Amerifat, if you ignore Freemason George Washington, and Skull and Bones member George H. W. Bush. Members of the Trumpcult think he can do no wrong, or don't give a fuck because they are busy nodding off on [[heroin]] or stealing catalytic converters to fuel their [[meth]] addiction. Trump cultists have all drunk the Orange Koolaid, and have all decided to never abandon ship, and will go down <s>with</s> on their [[Scientology|fat Sea Org captain]]. The Donald is the new Jim Jones, and the Trump base is Jonestown. The Republican Party in Amerilard is no longer a political party, it's a suicide cult. In the future, Trump's children will have to change their last names just like people with the last name Hitler had to. The number of pathetic Republican [[cuck]] politicians that Trump has insulted and destroyed and yet they still [[blowjob|blow]] him is astounding. Perhaps because their voters think the Earth is 6,000 years old and/or flat, Trump is naturally the only person they trust because a bunch of morons had a prayer circle around Trump one day, who may or may not be the Antichrist, but who's to say, can we ever really know anything really?
 
The leverage the Russians have over Trump makes the Trump administration a pro-Russian regime and a somewhat successful Russian coup, if not for The Donald's 24/7 stream of verbal diarrhea. But constantly shitting on the walls as Amerifat's first Chaotic Evil president does have one important effect: distraction and "muddying" the waters during a "Look over there!" presidency where Russians would please to be lowering sanctions kthx. Donald Drumpf is like a guy who thinks he is invisible after he takes his clothes off, even after shitting into his tiny hands and smearing [[shit]] all over his fat body before going around grabbing some [[pussy]] with his shit-covered hands. This is the point where a Trumptard will yell "8 years", as if they are a moronic sports fan who painted their face gold by huffing paint and who watches grown men play with balls, and/or a fucktard who thinks "meme magic" is real. Look, idiot Don Jr. is a good boy, he [[dindu]] nuffin. [[Jew|Jared Kushner]] is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Sleazeball Paul Manafort is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Hayseed [[redneck|Jeff Sessions]] is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Michael Flynn is a good boy, he dindu nuffin. Donald J. Trump could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue, but he's a good buy, he dindu nuffin. Technically, that makes Donald Drumpf America's second black president, which Trump voters may find disturbing.
 
Also known as Amerifat's first Troll-In-Chief or Roaster-In-Chief or Mental-Patient-In-Chief, Donald Drumpf is what happens if [[Scientology|L. Ron Hubbard]] was still alive, but was fatter and more orange and had a reality show for over a decade and cheated on Melania with airhead Playboy bunnies, and if Tom Cruise and John Travolta were replaced by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and Geraldo and Brit Hume and millions of mouth-breathing NASCAR and WWE fans. But much like Scientology, some former cult followers have woken the fuck up and realized their former leader is a conman. Or maybe a plant by [[Bill Clinton]] to ruin the Republican Party. The shit that falls out of Donald Trump's mouth and the mouth of his swampmonster press secretary/roller derby bruiser Sarah (who replaced Sean "Hide In the Bushes" Spicer rather than be a mother to her daughter) is only slightly less plausible than Lord Xenu and body thetans. Further cementing the fact that Trumptards are opioid addict retards with black lung and/or wrestlefans, The Donald chose the wife of Vince McMahon, Linda McMahon, to head the small business administration. Trumpfags, which include ancient turtle Mitch McConnell, and ventriloquist dummy Paul Ryan, and coward House Republicans, respond to The Donald like boot-licking cucks as if they lived in [[Best Korea]], since they know that narcissistic maniacs love flattery and sycophants. Like former White House Chief of Staff Rind Peebutt said, it's a "blessing" to be in the presence of a Russian King who is currently suffering dementia, with no child in sight to say the emperor wears no clothes, because Russia banned the US adoption of Russian children because [[Hillary Clinton]] was hoarding them all for some reason.
 
When the Donald is not being told what to do by his [[Jew]]ish son-in-law with a faggot ass voice Jared Kushner, or wearing a yamulka, or visiting the Wailing Wall, or being told what to do by his Jewish lawyer Michael Cohen, or leaking classified info given to him by Mossad, or being told what to do by his Jewish lawyer Marc Kasowitz, The Donald is busy filling his cabinet with [[Jew]]s from Goldman Sachs and/or going to their weddings, like Secretary of the Treasury and Skull and Bones member Steve Mnuchin, whose great grandfather was a diamond dealer Jew born in Russia. Mnuchin also formed SFM with George Soros, and invested in Trump Honolulu and Trump Chicago, and is registered to vote in both California and New York, and was an executive producer for capeshit like Suicide Squawk, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Jewstice, The Jewgo Batman Movie, and Wonder Woman, and who donated money to Democrats [[Al Gore|Al "Manbearpig" Gore]], Crooked [[Hillary]], Kenyan Muslim [[Obongo]], Uppity Black Lady Kamala Harris, and Republicans Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump. Much like senile [[Ronald Reagan]], peace be upon him, and Trump Sr. who also had Alzheimers, The Donald has spent his twilight years spewing word salad from his shrinking brain, having a memory worse than a goldfish, and then paying spineless and/or psychopathic amoral weasels to rationalize all his bullshit away. Look everybody, he already made American great again! So easy!
 
Whether it's son-in-law "adviser" Jared Kushner who met with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya and Russian GRU member Rinat Akhmetshin and Russian translator Anatoli Samochornov and Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and Russian oligarch Sergey Gorkov who is head of Russia's state-owned VEB bank which is under sanctions and conveniently forgot all about it and committed a felony by not mentioning it, or his wife Ivanka who went to Moscow to scout for locations for Trump Tower Moscow before Russian sanctions put an end to that, or former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort meeting with Natalia Veselnitskaya and Rinat Akhmetshin and Anatoli Samochornov and GRU member Konstantin Kalimnick and forgetting all about it, or doofus Don Jr. who met with Russian government lawyers at the request of Russian "pop star" Emin Agalarov who is the son of Russian oligarch Aras Agalarov and forgot all about it, or Attorney General Jeff Sessions who met with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak in his own office and conveniently forgot all about it and committed perjury by lying about it, or Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross who has ties with Russia, or campaign faggot Carter Page who met with Russians and conveniently forgot all about it, or skin cancer victim Roger Stone who spoke with Russians and forgot all about it, or former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn who took money from Russia and conveniently forgot all about it, or Secretary of Education and head trauma victim Betsy DeVos whose brother/mercenary Erik Prince of Blackwater set up a secret backchannel with MBZ in the Seychelles with Russia, or Secretary of State and former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson who got the Medal of Friendship from Russia, or FBI Director nominee Chris Wray who may potentially get a 10-year term and is or was a partner at a law firm that represents Russia's national oil company Rosneft, fat Americans can trust that the Trump administration has <s>Russia</s> Amerifat's interests at heart, unlike that pinko commie Obongo who wiped his unAmerican black ass with the Murican flag on a daily basis! Make America Red Again! But the longest serving FBI director after crossdresser J. Edgar Hoover, Robert Mueller, is on the case, appointed by Jewish Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. And Robert Mueller previously worked at WilmerHale which represents Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, so you know he'll be impartial. Trump has at least 3 lawyers, Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen has a hired a lawyer, Don Jr. has hired a laywer, Vice President and Sealab 2021 star Mike Pence has hired a lawyer when he's not forming a PAC to become President, and Jared Kushner has hired lawyers but at least one has dropped out. The Donald has proved to be quite the job creator, giving struggling Jews the lawyer jobs they need to provide for their spoiled brat whiny kids. Steve Bannon knows!
 
Some argue that the Trump administration has more Russian ties than the losing Hillary administration would have, although the Uranium One deal, and Bill Clinton's $500k speech in Moscow, and John Podesta owning shares in some Russian company and sitting on the board of some Russian bullshit, and his brother Tony Podesta taking money from the same entity as Paul Manafort and also Sberbank and failing to register as a foreign agent just like Flynn and Manafort and trying to lower Russian sanctions, does cast doubt on that. Surrounding himself with people with Russian ties, and Jews like Jared Kushner, Michael Cohen, Marc Kasowitz, and others, the two countries on this planet that [[srsly|like Trump the most]] are naturally [[Israel]] and [[Russia]]. Donald Trump has been in bed with Russians for a long period of time, first by sexually violating Ivana Trump which resulted in his daughter Ivanka Trump who Donald would very much like to fuck for a long period of time, and later in Moscow, which the KGB videotaped for purposes of leverage. Another person that VodkaTown has leverage over is Michael Cohen, a Jewish lawyer for Trump who is married to a Russian and her father is a property developer in Moscow. And also Jared Kushner, a Jewish Jew who is billions of dollars in debt and wanted money from Russia, like the kind of money that Don Jr. and/or Eric said Donald Trump got from Russia over the last 30 years, because nobody in their right mind would lend money to Donald Trump or be his lawyer. After fatass Chris Christie put Jared Kushner's father in prison, in part for hiring a prostitute to fuck his own brother-in-law and videotaping it and sending it to his wife and sister, Jared Kushner paid over 1.8 billion dollars for 666 5th Avenue, which is incidentally the Mark of the Beast for anyone keeping track, like redneck Trump voters. Inside 666 5th Avenue is a shadowy smoke-filled room called the Havana Room, where Trump Campaign Chair Paul Manafort met with Konstantin Kalimnick of the GRU in August 2016 in order to do perfectly legal and moral and ethical and totally not collusion business deals with Russia. Jared Kushner, who is a [[oxymoron|totally ethical Jew]] btw, also tried to set up a secret backchannel with Russians by using Russian facilities and also met with Russian oligarch Sergey Gorkov of sanctioned Russian bank VEB because he doesn't know how to real estate and needs more [[Jew Gold]], and he conveniently forgot about that too! In addition, Donald Trump owes millions of dollars to Deutsche Bank which has laundered over $10 billion dollars from Russia, and incidentally Jared Kushner is also involved with Deutsche Bank.
 
Some argue that Donald Trump was a plan by golf buddy Bill Clinton to destroy the Republican brand forever, much like the Clintons destroyed America, in part due to Bill passing the Telecommunications Act of 1996 which created the propaganda echo chambers MSNBC (whose sister company NBC featured Trump on The Apprentice for at least 14 seasons) and [[Faux News]] (known for only hiring lobotomy patients and hot bimbos, and the resulting decades of sexual harassment). Thanks to fellow rapist Bill Clinton, who should have drowned when he was 19, Faux News is firmly in place and is doing its duty to inform senior citizens and rednecks that Donald Trump is the greatest president in the history of forever and anything bad that anybody says about Trump is [[fake news]]. In perhaps Donald Trump's greatest accomplishment in his life, he used Jewjitsu to turn the term "fake news" into a club against all his critics just like a good dictator, and has successfully weaponized it after being gifted it by Democrats trying to wave away Podesta emails about [[Pizzagate|pizza-related handkerchiefs]] that The Donald apparently has no interest in looking into. Other than his appropriation of the term "fake news" to maintain his heroin-injecting base, Donald Trump makes George W. Bush look like a saint and a genius, and makes baby Reagan cry.
 
Dos vdanya!
 
==How can you stop Orange Hitler from grabbing your pussy==
 
The Democrats has to regroup and regain the trust of the working class and make a effort to help them. They have to drop identity politics and
try to appeal to many as well as kicking out Social Justice Warriors from their party. Liberals and Conservatives have to stop shouting at each
other and try to listen to each other and understand each other's problems. People have start caring about their fellow man and rebuild their
communities. Corporations bring jobs back to the United States and start people a means of having a living. The blacks and whites come togather
and agree on OJ Simpson was guilty, which ends the race war. The Justice system is reformed and everyone is happy.
 
Oh wait, what the fuck, are you kidding me, you must be high to dream this shit up, thanks California for finally legalizing weed. We are fucked
beyond repair, our politics are more toxic, there is more tribalism, everyone is either a full blown Nazi or a whining castrated SJW, we are so
fucked that there could be another civil war but oh wait, since our nation is full of fat fucks, there will be no civil war.
 
Stack up on guns, food, weed and barricade your homes. Store cash under your beds and buckle up motherfuckers, Donald Drumpf is gonna give us
the craziest ride of 8 years of your life.
 
Oh you think he will only last 4, think again maggot, the Democrats are whining little bitches and will no way in hell will bend over for Bernie Sanders
to become the nominee cause they know he will win but they will lose all that money given to them from the elitist fucktards on Wall Street and
the Jews. They will spite their face to stop Bernie. Kanye West will not run till 2024 because surprise surprise idiot, he loves Donald Drumpf.
The Libertarians won't even win a single state in 2020 unless Rand Paul joins them and steals Kentucky. The Greens will have Jill Stein euthanized after submitting her to a death panel.
 
You bleeding hearts were warned to vote for Clinton but it was MUH EMAILS and you were too lazy to get off your asses because every liberal news source
you watched said that she had a 200% chance of beating this chump and forgetting this is America not Iraq.
 
==The Pussificiation of America as the Great Old Fuck George Carlin called it eons ago==


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|We have some bad hombres and we're going to get them out|Okay I LOLed at this one


|What the fuck is that unholy smell.|Trump shows his lack of empathy for the stupid, unwashed, err, blue collar citizens of Youngstown, Ohio.  25 July 2017
|What the fuck is that unholy smell.|Trump shows his lack of empathy for the stupid, unwashed, err, blue-collar citizens of Youngstown, Ohio.  25 July 2017


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* [[Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this]]
* [[Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this]]
* [[Hitler|Adolf Hitler]] - drumpf is LITERALLY HITLER!!!! my profesor seid so -.-''' drumpfs a FACIST
* [[Hitler|Adolf Hitler]] - drumpf is LITERALLY HITLER!!!! my profesor seid so -.-''' drumpfs a FACIST
* [[Bernie Madoff]]
* [[Bernie Madoff]] More like '''Bernie "Made Off"''' With All Our Money [[Fact|MIRite]].
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Bernie Sanders]]
* [[Blaming China]]
* [[Blaming China]]
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* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Uncle Dolan|''Dolan'' Trump]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[Fired]]
* [[Frances Irene Finley Williams]] - [[Old people|Old fuck]] whose obituary blamed Trump for hastening her death.
* [[God]]
* [[God]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[Hillary Clinton]]
* [[Jews]]
* [[Jews]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Money]]
* [[Roseanne Barr]] Of course, he'd be a fan of hers
* [[Rosie]]
* [[Rosie]]
* [[The Man]]
* [[The Man]]
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{{politics}}
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{{Foxnews}}
{{Gayrepublicans}}
{{Trump}}
{{Trump}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 5 & 6, 2016|[[Lowti3rgod]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Alison Rapp]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article March 5 & 6, 2016|[[Lowti3rgod]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Alison Rapp]]}}
{{timeline|Featured article April 1 and 2, [[2023]]|[[The Donald]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Audrey Hale]]}}

Latest revision as of 11:51, 26 July 2024

This article relies entirely on facts.
Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings.
Are you a white nationalist Kekistani manchild? Check out The Donald for the (much funnier) pro-Trump article.
However, if you wanted to see the ex-subreddit circlejerk website, check out TheDonald.


(((THE DONALD))) IS A LIE. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES.


This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT Trump is officially a Zionist Neocon who bombs innocent Syrians (who are in fact fighting ISIS) because his Jewish daughter told her so!!!1


It's me America, It's me America, it was me all along America, you all bought it, you all bought it hook, line and sinker.
45th and current President of the United States
First Lady, Melania Trump
THE ESSENCE
The Best TV Show on Politics
What made Trump run for president
Why does he always sniff that microphone, oh nevermind

'

Donald Trump, Donald Drumpf✡ or Fuckface Von Clownstick卐, is a dead animal toupee wearing, small-handed, pussy-grabbing, spoiled, retarded, moronic, draft-dodging, shameless, cheating, lying, good for nothing, attention whoring, bullshitting, illiterate, egotistical, maniacal, raping, perverted, godless, hypocritical, flip-flopping, indecent, greedy, jewish, loud-mouthed, son of orangutan sycophant who somehow became the first American Not My President in 2016 by saying out loud in National Television what sub-human voters say out loud in private, and by gaslighting the nation. Somehow (see average voter IQ) he has convinced the masses that he wasn't running on contributions, even though he actually was. The rest of his campaign was literally his lending himself the money, self-funding, that is. Before becoming president he was known for inheriting a large sum of money and spending it on doomed projects, declaring bankruptcy, selling them, evading tax, and somehow making a profit. So guess what he will do with America? He will put his name all over it before running it into the ground and selling it to the Chinese in TPP 2.0, after which he'll retire to a South Florida like other real estate developers from Queens.

In November 2016, Amerifat handed its car keys to a total fucking dotard, mistakenly thinking he knew how to drive a country because he repeatedly said he's the best in the world, even though he drove multiple businesses into ditches and became indebted to the Russian mob because they're the only ones who would loan him money. Protip: In Best Korea, it's pronounced "Dotard Drumpf."

For the sake of clarity, we have divided up the life story of this meme into three chapters which are as follows:

  • Before his rise to worldwide fame as a manbaby
  • His Oscar-winning performance of a madmanbaby running for president
  • Post awards ceremony where he now has to actually govern this great nation of ours

Pre-election Era Donald Trump

The inevitable fate of the American voter
From the Donald J. Trump collection.
White Genocide
President Trump during his daily routine.
Oh yes he did

The Apprentice

President Trump's great reality television show is called The Apprentice. The show also has a retarded brother called "The Celebrity Apprentice." This show has been home to many stars, including Lil' Jon, La Toya Jackson, and that one fat guy. President Donald Trump has also been seen extorting money from other contestants including rock singer Meatloaf. Arnold Schwarzenegger is now hosting The Celebrity Apprentice because even President Donald Trump's job has been stolen by an immigrant.

Trump is not his real name

Like two out of three Red-Blooded Americans, Donny's grandpa was originally a German, but because he didn't want to pay taxes or serve in the military he fled to the USA with only the money he owed the Kaiser's government and his new slogan: Toll Macht Frei. But there was a problem when you are named Drumpf in 1885's USA, so he tried his luck in Canada instead. After returning to Germany to marry, only to return to Queens again grandpa Friedrich made a fortune in brothels and died from the Spanish Flu.

   
“ 		 
For single men, the Arctic has excellent accommodations as well as the best restaurant in Bennett, but I would not advise respectable women to go there to sleep as they are liable to hear that which would be repugnant to their feelings – and uttered, too, by the depraved of their own sex
  		„
  		 

—Yukon Sun

  • The first Trump hotel was known for selling prostitutes and generating positive press reviews, a practice, and reputation that only improves with further Drumpf generations.
  • Just like his grandpa, Donald is also known for tax evasion.
  • His actual name is Drumpf, but he will be recorded in Chinese Annals as Te Lang Poo or 特朗>:(

Bankruptcies

  • 1991 - He had to sell his yacht, to pay off the debt on Taj Mahal casino, less than a year after its opening. He was saved by billionaire Carl C. Icahn - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  • 1992 - When he couldn't pay for Trump Plaza Hotel, so it had to be bought out by Citibank. - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  • 1999 - Trump-Maples marriage fails after an almost rape incident. Trump declared Chapter 11 Divorce.
  • 2004 - Couldn't afford the "crushing debt" of Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc. He went from 47% of the stakes to a measly 27% - Trump declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  • 2009 - Donnie was kindly asked to step down as the head of the board when Trump Entertainment Resorts couldn't pay a 53 million dollar bill. - The company was forced to declare Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Was bought by Carl C. Icahn, so Americans shouldn't be without jobs.
  • 2017 - America, when he spends all the money on the defense budget. Will declare a chapter 11 bankruptcy to the Chinese.

Failed business ventures

  • 1985 - The New Jersey Generals was a USFL team that Trump re-bought. His decision was so poor that not only did he destroy the team, he destroyed an entire league.
  • 1990 - Trump the Game was a Monopoly rip-off. It was brought back in 2005, to meh reviews.
  • 1992 - Trump Shuttle where he managed to lose $100 million.
  • 2007 - Trump Mortgage was led off by this immortal comment: "I think it's a great time to start a mortgage company ... who knows about financing better than I do?". It was right before the housing market crash. Well done, Nostradamus.
  • 2007 - Trump Steaks were discontinued almost immediately. The Trump Steakhouse was found to be utterly fucking disgusting to the point where even Gordon Ramsay would give up. It was closed because it had expired yogurt and five months overdue duck.
  • 2007 - GoTrump.com was a place for Trump by Trump. It shut down within a year.
  • 2008 - Trump Vodka was abandoned just a mere two years after being released. Did we mention that Trump is a teetotaler and his brother was a severe alcoholic?
  • 2009 - Trump Magazine first appeared in 2007, where his daughter was on the front page. Unfortunately, she was dressed. It was supposed to cash in on the booming advertising market for yachts and other high-end commodities. Didn't work out.
  • 2010 - Trump Ice. Would you like to buy some "Natural" "Spring" "Water", that tasted like socks?
  • 2011 - Trump University was a diploma mill. Trump ended up getting sued for 40 million dollars because he lied.

Settled in 2016 for $25 Million he did not have time to show up in court because he is the soon-to-be President.

Lifestyle

President Trump spends his days in his Manhattan home, eating delicious cake and playing with himself. He dreams of Jessi Slaughter and faps his 24 karat gilded five-inch penis. In recent years he has begun to lure in little boys with wads of cash to have sex with him. President Trump, being the latent homosexual that is his agenda, is the sole financial source behind Boku no Pico. It is rumored that the plot is inspired by President Trump's childhood, but given how much President Trump brags about his accomplishments if he did have such an awesome childhood--he'd never shut the fuck up about it. It is speculated that he will pander to militant homosexuals after he locks up the GOP nomination. He also has an extensive wardrobe, which ranges from green business suits to skimpy, black panties. It should be noted that President Trump has managed to bankrupt his entire business empire, twice, the first time it was a chain of casino resorts, which even those with the most tenuous grasp on economics, will tell you is fucking impossible unless you are a hire complete and utter retards. Both times President Trump got back on his feet again, from a combination of giving blowjobs to his neo-con friends (including the Clintons) and begging for bailouts from the government. The joke is on you cause he has "fuck you" money many times over and you are reading this not fully clothed.

The Birther Movement

THE HANDSHAKE
He was jealous of the cool kids hanging out with the black guy
What Obama though of this jackoff before he won, can you blame him

This issue made this asshole's campaign momentum possible to begin with, rode it all the way through till the effect wore off. How the issue unfolded is summed up by the pictures below ordered in sequence.


Step 1: Jump on the Nigger Hate bandwagon


Step 2: Go on FOX News so all the brain dead dipshits know who you are


Step 3: When ready to go 180, blame Hillary Clinton because the Media will fall for it and are getting bored


Step 4: Make a announcement absolving yourself of the sin of starting this whole shitstorm


Candidate Donald Trump

His famous Mexican rapists and crime opening speech to take over the media

Campaign Slogan

Has Jewish Links

The irony that Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right, Alex Jones, and KKK support him despite him having a Jew for a son-in-law and his daughter became a Jew. Also the Prime Minister of Israel and Right Wing love him in Israel.

  • Don't believe us, the kikes in Israel literally put his face on a coin.
    Don't believe us, the kikes in Israel literally put his face on a coin.


How his followers deal with his numerous fuckups and scandals

When you are inducted into the Trump Supporters Party, you must support the Dear Great Leader at all costs, no matter how small the insult is, you must defend him. A basic attack is to being butthurt over Hillary and liberals can't accept the miracles of our Dear Great Leader. For advanced training, use ShariaBlue and Shill to destroy the political thread because all of them must be paid off by the Jews, George Soros, David Brock, and Deep State.

Make incest great again

Despite many a failed marriages Donnie has always claimed he is a family man. And how can he maintain that? Simple. By wanting to boink his daughter.


Q: What's the favorite thing you have in common with your daughter

A: Sex



Getting his Walk of Fame Star removed

How to piss on Drumpf

Surprisingly this short-fingered vulgarian got himself a Walk of Fame Star, but not for much longer, as people are using it as a toilet, as they confuse it with the man. As a result it has begun to stink more than Drumpf's asshole, as he can't wipe properly with those tiny fingers.
  • Even Spider-Man hates Donnie
    Even Spider-Man hates Donnie
  • Bitches shit on Trump
    Bitches shit on Trump
  • Trump supporters also join the fun
    Trump supporters also join the fun

President Donald J Trump

Drumpf's environment secretary asks tough questions
Donald Drumpf - final form?
When the leading cause of obesity in the world hates you

His Official Presidential Portrait

Who voted for this fucktard

His 'Secret' plan to take out ISIS in 30 days

BREAKING NEWS!!
100+ Days later: Mission failure.

His Muslim Travel Ban

Obamacare Repeal

Promised to repeal Obamacare on Day 1, took 2 months to come up with a replacement only for it to die dead on arrival on the first attempt in the House despite Republicunts and Cuckservatives controlling the House, Senate, and Presidency.

What do Trump Supporters think of him now?

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


He is a Zionist NeoCon Shill

Well no shit when you are surrounded by Jews, they whisper in your ears as they take away your daughter to be converted into one of them. This sack of lard allowed the Chair Force to become the ISIS Air Force for the day as he bombed an airfield in Syria fighting ISIS because the Jews and the Jew owned media told him it was a good idea to save his poll numbers, which did jack shit as he lost support from the neckbeards in the basement, butthurt that the President doesn't listen to their advice when he is listening to his advisors on the National Security Council.

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The Pussification of America as the Great Old Fuck George Carlin called it eons ago


What the media doesn't have the balls to do.

What the house and senate

don't have the balls to do.

What the Donald don't have the balls to do.

What Trump supporters don't have the balls to do.

Previous Image | Next Image



Quotes

   
“ 		 
Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything
  		„
  		 

—The only quote that will make you question your US History Textbook if that was a typo

   
“ 		 
I don't think Ivanka would do that inside the magazine. Although she does have a very nice figure. I've said that if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her
  		„
  		 

—10 years before it happened

   
“ 		 
I think apologizing's a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I'm ever wrong
  		„
  		 

—Translation for pussies, NEVER

   
“ 		 
I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks
  		„
  		 

—First US president that tried to nigger pander

   
“ 		 
I love the poorly educated
  		„
  		 

—Thanks for being honest

   
“ 		 
The other thing with the terrorists is you have to take out their families, when you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives, don't kid yourself. When they say they don't care about their lives, you have to take out their families
  		„
  		 

—The main evidence for convicting this asshole at his future trial at the Hague for war crimes

   
“ 		 
We have some bad hombres and we're going to get them out
  		„
  		 

—Okay I LOLed at this one

   
“ 		 
What the fuck is that unholy smell.
  		„
  		 

—Trump shows his lack of empathy for the stupid, unwashed, err, blue-collar citizens of Youngstown, Ohio. 25 July 2017

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Videos

It's fucking over

Drumpf explains big water

Believe him

Trump is a player.

Drumpf has two Sheneequas on the payroll

The notorious suppressed 1991 documentary

Don't go stealing Donald's Thunder

Trump supporter telling it like it is!

Donald Trump is ISIS' number one recruiter.

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

Photoshops

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  • Hair Force One
    Hair Force One
  • PROOF drumpfs a FACIST
    PROOF drumpfs a FACIST


Cartoons

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  • TrumPence 16 Flag
    TrumPence 16 Flag
  • no homo ;)
    no homo ;)
  • Behold! Trumpcock.
    Behold! Trumpcock.


Captions

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  • Inside the White House
    Inside the White House
  • Donald's cat.
    Donald's cat.
  • Donald's rat.
    Donald's rat.
  • Bateman endorses Trump.
    Bateman endorses Trump.
  • Donald moves on women like a "bitch".
    Donald moves on women like a "bitch".


Drumpf Supporters

Trump Supporters About missing Pics
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  • A Trump voter speaks
    A Trump voter speaks


Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous About missing Pics
  • Hebrew writing plaque in Donald Trump's office - another proof that he into Jewry
    Hebrew writing plaque in Donald Trump's office - another proof that he into Jewry
  • Trump giving handshake to Jewred Kushner
    Trump giving handshake to Jewred Kushner
  • Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
    Avoiding answering the hard questions like any insider politician.
  • It's real like your waifu's orgasms.
    It's real like your waifu's orgasms.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See Also

External links

External links of White Supremacy

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You're gonna love this article, believe me.
Featured article March 5 & 6, 2016
Preceded by
Lowti3rgod 		Donald Drumpf Succeeded by
Alison Rapp
Featured article April 1 and 2, 2023
Preceded by
The Donald 		Donald Drumpf Succeeded by
Audrey Hale
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