Tobuscus
Toby "Tobuscus" Turner or Tobias Joseph Turner is the guy who you will never be (No kidding, because you'll never amount to anything). He is the guy who took the simple things and placed himself into them to create something of different intellectual property with no real effort. From sneezing fetishes and lemon parties, to reviewing fails and creating gameplay commentary, Toby is a just regular internet user who joined the bandwagon of changing other peoples content and making fuckloads of money from it, via the power of jewtube. In all seriousness, this guy reviews viral videos (Implying his opinion actually means anything) and talks random bullshit while playing video games (Who doesn't? The only difference is he records it.) successfully making 16 year old girls wetter than Justin Bieber after his bestiality fix.
The Fail, Fail, Fail.
Toby's online show consists of him spending 5 seconds searching the internet for a cute video, a win video and a fail video (Considering how the internet is made up of them, hardly any effort whatsoever) and putting them together to make the vast populace clap like a retarded seal at his amazingness, when all he's done is save you the effort you lazy fuck. Accurately naming the show CuteWinFail, he's yet to put his own show in the Fail section of itself. However, doing this makes him better than than Ray William Failson who only reviews youtube trends (which are on the already on the homepage making Ray spend 1 second searching), but being better than shit leaves you to decide for yourself how great he is. Sadly Toby and FailFailFail is very overrated.
—Toby during a nightmare. | ||
Literally Shit and Hothotshit
If you thought reviewing Viral videos is the laziest way of getting popular, think again. Toby managed to scratch another simple trick to E-Fame from his ass cheek, by simply putting the beautiful eyecandy that is movie and game trailers to his shitty singing voice. Now I know what you're thinking, writing a song about trailers must take creativity and originality, but all Toby does is sing about whats happening in the fucking trailer, hence the name Literal Trailers. Someone should create a petition to have them renamed to Shiterally trailers.
On top of that, Toby has taken to singing already famous songs such as Star Spangled Banner and theme songs from hit movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean replacing their lyrics with the word 'hot' and nothing else. Selling the so called Hot Symphonies for 99 cents on iTunes, cuntbags from all over the world flock to download it and put it on their iPods in the thousands making him richer and richer for doing fuck all.
—Tobuscus. | ||
Lazy Video Logs
If this guy is good at anything, it's getting famous by doing nothing. Bring on his so-called 'Lazy Vlogs' in which he goes for a walk (usually with his dog, falcor) and talks about the things he did during the day.. Usually the sight of a flying plane turns him into a raging homosexual or perhaps flowers, and he has a unique intro which causes instant ejaculation from his fans simply consisting of him putting his finger over the camera lens. OMGWTFBBQ so complex and original only god could have conceived it.
Jewtube videos
Rape Allegations
Some Bitch named April Efff made a Tl;dr post on tumblr claiming she got sexually abused by Toby while in a relationship with him for five years. It is quite obvious that she was lying, just like Kesha, and is just trying to be yet another dumb Attention Whore trying to gain E-fame on teh internets, this can be said for two reasons.
- 1. She did not go to the police (she was probably thinking: "Hey if i don't go the police and instead make a big tumblr post about it people will just think I'm to scared to go to the police!")
- 2.She probably thought she could get away with being a attention whore due the face that noone likes Toby.
Her post can be found here:[[1]] WARNING TL;DR
Gallery
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This movie would be more of a revenue fail than Mr Nobody. -
Anime-fied. Some people have no standards. -
Fugly toby fanwhore. Complete with tshirt. -
Angle-shot. Man the harpoons.
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Forced meme is forced. -
Lame Quotes -
"every toby thumbnail ever" - Jacksfilms, possibly a superior. -
Cute girls doing cute things. A success Toby didn't concieve. -
Toby doing what he does best. -
Condoning illegal animal fights. -
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Narcassistic.
See Also
External Links
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Tobuscus is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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