Tina S.
TINA S. Power Word Tina Servais (Born: 7 April 1999) is an unwashed, over perfumend, underwear opposed French frog that has made a name for herself with her mad skills at the guitar despite having the handicap of being born a girl. Even though she was born with the birth defect of not having a penis, she has probably done more in 1 year of her life than you will do in your entire lifetime.
She has been studying the guitar since the age of six and is instructed by her older brother Renaud Louis-Servais. She has made a name for herself doing heavy metal, shredding style covers of classical music like Vivaldi's 4 Seasons Presto Summer, Bethovan's Moonlight Sonata Third Movement and at the age of 14 she showed every Basement dwelling, guitar queero playing plastic guitar thinking it's the real thing that Dragon Force's Through The Fire And Flames isn't the end all final boss when it comes to guitar with a perfect cover of the song.
—Tina S. | ||
—Kanye West | ||
—Music Store Employee | ||
Weapons of Choice
Our favorite Clouf-Booten Tina S. Prefers to use a Vigier Excalibur Custom made guitar using Ernie Ball 2222 Hybrid Slinky Electric Guitar Strings.
No information has been released on what brand of amps, cables or peddles she uses or none that I can find because I don't read frog.
Play Like A Girl
One of the major problems that our little Lady Bic-needer has is how feminist groups or channels like MTV feel the need to elevate her to a unearned level because she is doing what is considered a male dominated skill despite there being many well known chick guitar players like Lita Ford, Nancy Wilson, Ani DiFranco and Chrissie Hynde. What brings our little Soap Dodger much unwanted attention is how she acts so bored while playing. Like what she is doing is almost too easy, she's too cool for school and she is more capable than the original artists.
As you can expect our little Snail Slurper has become a favorite target of trolls who has only gained notice because: 1: She's a sammich maker and 2: She has a ready army of soft headed white knights that include Eddie Van Halen's fat assed son Wolfgang Van Halen who only has a job because his daddy owns the band and runs around with a hard dick in hand thinking that if he keeps protecting Tina S' toad ass that she'll suck him off while Wolfie holds up his gut for her like a true Dutch gentleman.
More so, another of the internet's retarded habits that have music fans pissed off is how horny basement dwellers have to raise her to the level of naming her a goddess. Most any ugly mother fucker that can simply repulse a woman simply by being in the same room and letting her get a good whiff of him names any woman that they badly want to fuck a goddess. Where it pisses off music fags is that god or goddess is a title that has to be earned like the guitar gods: Randy Rhodes, Jimmy Hendrix and Eric Clapton. They feel that she is getting unfair attention and only getting notice because she is like Tiger Woods playing golf who really never compared to golf's greatest players but only gained any notice because he was a black man playing a white game and advertisers were looking to grab ahold of any black man that could play competently so they could convince SJWs that golf wasnt a racist sport.
Impressively, Tina S., our little six week rifle dropper has remained quite humble saying, It's not about being a girl. It's about being better than the boys.
While our mousy little Surrender monkey is letting herself get played into the corner as some girl power false deity preaching that girls are just as good as boys and can even pee standing up, female liberation icon that she probably doesnt want to be, claiming that girls are just as capable as boys and suggesting that boys should start ordering salads while the girl gets the steak, the only time a man ever canceled a concert because he was bleeding was when one of his girlfriends caught him cheating and stabbed him in the kidney with an ice pick.
Watching Tina S's sad, hyper-technical, passionless shredding will convince you that shredding is bullshit. She plays guitar like a circus freak who knows that they are nothing but a circus freak. She plays guitar far, far better than you will ever play guitar, and yet it's nothing that anyone really needs to hear. All you get is "Wow, she certainly can play a lot of notes!" As someone said about Paris Hilton - she's everything you expected, and yet somehow so much less. Listening to Tina S will make you pine for melody and meaning, and sweet relief from scales up and down the neck. You should watch her videos, so you know what not to aspire to.
How To Troll
- Compliment her on overcoming her disability of being a girl and achieving some recognition for others born with her same misfortune.
- Ask her if having a vagina is troublesome in music and if it causes unecessary reverberation by acting like an echo chamber.
- Tell her she'll get noticed more if she gets a pair of D cups sewn into her chest.
- While you are on the subject of breast augmentation, give the Tadpole a little makeup advice because . . . DAMN.
- Remind her that once she lays her eggs in the swamp, like all women it will be over for her.
- Ask her when she's going to start producing music of her own or if she's just some untalanted hack that can only do what's been alteady done.
- Again, she's a girl and French. Both are a punchline.
- Ask if she's ever in concert and the fans get rowdy will she run away.
- Offer to mail her a case of Lady Bics and a case of soap.
- Tell her that her Grandmother was a Nazi sell out and you can still see the word whore scarred into her forhead. Afterwords, suggest that her grandmother wear bangs.
- Ask her if French Guitars are as shitty as French made weapons, especially the Chauchat.
- Ask her why the French make the best soaps, perfumes and underwear but don't use them?
- Tell her Marie-Anne Charlotte de Corday d'Armont was a hero and put to death unjustly because of French fanaticism.
- Ask her, if Paris was being bombed which would she save, a wheel of cheese or her mom? If she says her mom, call her a lier.
- Tell her the Paris' Arche De Triomphe has an interesting history. Napoleon had it built so that victorious armies could march through it on their way home and it stood there unused until the Nazi's popped its cherry good and hard.
- Ask her if there is such a thing as a competent French engineer.
- Make a post saying Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit.
External Links
See Also
- Girls
- GOTIS
- Music
- France
- Feminism
- Feminist
- Vagina
- Sammich Maker
- Eddie Van Halen
- Boobs
- Feminazi
- 16 year old girl
- Ugly Sorry. She has potential but always walking around wearing a face like she's still sore from a rousing game of butt darts doesn't help.
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Tina S. is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Tina S. is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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