Sexsomnia

Zzzzzzz...boring dick is boring.

Quiet, I`m sleeping.

Sexsomnia or Sleepsex, not to be confused with "I fucked her while she was sleeping", is a sleep disorder that causes you to hump people in your sleep and a really good excuse to rape your wife in the middle of the night when she`s not putting out. The proposed medical diagnosis is NREM Arousal Parasomnia - Sexual Behaviour in Sleep, and is considered to be a distinct variant of sleepwalking/confusional arousals.

RAEP RAEP RAEP

Quiet, I`m sleeping.

It wasn`t really rape because I was sleeping, I suffer from a condition. Do you not understand that I am the real victim here, bitch?

Leonard Andrew Spencer made history when he was acquitted May 2008, marking the first time in an Australian court that "sex sleep succeeded as part of a legal defence.

In Britain, a man from York was cleared of three counts of rape on 19 December 2005.

A Toronto court acquitted a man of sexual assault after he was diagnosed with sleep sex disorder, although prosecutors have filed an appeal of the acquittal as of February 2006. The Ontario Court of Appeal upheld the acquittal on 7 February 2008

August 2007, An RAF mechanic who claimed he was sleepwalking when he had sex with a 15-year-old girl was cleared of rape. Senior Aircraftsman Kenneth Ecott, 26, said he had gained a reputation in the RAF for sleep walking and had the nickname Night Rider printed on a T-shirt.

	“	Back when I was working in the ER, I heard of a case where some woman got pregnant, and she didn't know how. It turns out she recently separated from her spouse, and he was living down stairs...he would come up stairs and do her with out even knowing.	„
	—-random asshole

Diagnosis

To diagnose Sexsomnia, researchers hook the patient up to a big fancy machine they made to read your brain waves. If the waves are just a little squiggly it means you`re asleep. If the waves are really squiggly it means you woke up. If the patient wakes up in the middle of the night it means he`s got Sexsomnia. The more he does this, and the faster he goes back to sleep the more he is innocent of the rape. Apparently the brain waves of a person awake read exactly the same as if you where sleep-walking on this machine.

Gallery of Excuses

Haley Batty could rape me in her sleep WHENEVER

“   I can have sex three or four times a night if the guys have the stamina, but in the morning I won’t know anything about it ...   „     —Some slut named Haley Batty.     “   We are in a very awful dilemma. My husband has sleep sex. He had done this for years with his previous girlfriend. Anyway, his stepdaughter from the other woman claims that when she spent the night my husband was touching her inappropriately. When the police questioned him yesterday he had to admit to that problem that he has done all his life and he said he did not know if he had done anything to the girl. He hoped to god not. My husband is the greatest man and this thing doesn’t bother me when it is between us. We will be seeing an attorney. I know my husband and he would not do this. But he is scared if he did.   „     —Child molester's wife     “   Hello There! My name is Jordyn, I don't have many stories but I'm creating them day by day! I hope that I can Learn more and share more here! I'm excited   „     —Jordyn, excited to begin the rape     “   Finally we have two small children and they come to our beds sometimes and I worry about what might happen (there was a couple of minor incidents that the children each slept through that finally made me realize just how serious our situation is).   „     — MOAR child rape! Previous Quote | Next Quote

See Also

• Asking for it

• surprise sex

• Rape Checklist

• Stick It In Her Pooper

• secks

• Lying

• Butt-hurts

• Patrick Hamm

• David Hasselhoff

External Links

• American Academy Of Sleep Medicine

• sleepsex.org

• Forum to discuss sexsomnia

• The Rape Foundation

[Give $500 PlzOpen Up to Us]

Sexsomnia is part of a series on Psychology

Sexsomnia is part of a series on Sex Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.