Mozilla Firefox
Mozilla Firefox (a.k.a. Furryfox or Fryercox) is was[1] a respected web browser from the Mozilla Foundation, and was released at least 100 years ago.
It was one of the last standing reliable browsers, and it’s completely open source; giving you the ability to remove/add anything (even the fox) and have ownership over what you own, without vans staring through your windows.
Designed exclusively for elitist haxors, basement dwellers, and paranoid pedophiles, Firefox quickly became the browser of choice for those disillusioned with Internet Explorer and those tired of Google Chrome slowly removing features, then rationing your sentience to advertising god only knows what.
Firefox grew famous after its initial launch since it was, and still is, one of the few privacy respecting browsers to actually achieve version 0.5+. Since then, Firefox has reached over 200 million downloads. To get an idea of how many downloads that is, you need to go to mozilla.com/firefox and download it 200 million times.
Why Switch to Firefox?
Firefox is an excellent browser, regardless of memory use, speed, functionality, and security.
Firefox is a very shitty browser.
Firefox is better than your current shitty browser.
With the recent mass adoption of Internet Explorer 6, there is no reason to use Firefox.
Nobody uses Internet Explorer anymore.
It’s either firefox or brave, both actually care about users, but brave is powered by google’s chrome. Firefox also no longer has those CPU throttles, it’s processing competes with chromes.
Firefox vs. Internet Explorer
Money made (2006) by Microsoft by distributing Internet Explorer: $0 USD.
Money made (2006) by the Mozilla Corporation by bending over for Google: $47,064,657 USD. (Profit, not revenue.) Seriously. And now the irony.
Benefits
Browsing Porn. This is the greatest benefit.[1]
<jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that I would use a slideshow on afterwards. <jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean? <jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up. <jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly. <jesterlo1> FUCKING INTERNET EXPLORER HAS "SET AS BACKGROUND" NEXT TO "SAVE IMAGE" <jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face. <jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying as my background. <jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox.
Aside from its beauty, speed, agility, red mane, pleasant musky scent, warm fur (OMG YIFF YIFF YIFF! ARGGGGGGGG I CAME!), and advanced pop-up blocking features, Firefox has the advantage over other browsers in one respect.
Tabbed browsing. OMG! IT'S LIKE SO TOTALLY ORIGINAL!!!
Unfortunately for Firefox nerds, Internet Explorer 7 was released with tabbed browsing, so the above paragraph is moot. Besides, Opera did it way back in 1996. However, everyone will still regard Internet Explorer as shit and always will.
Another feature is being frozen for a half hour while your browsing history loads, as well as randomly crashing. Suddenly, Internet Explorer looks good.
Plus, Urban dead gets teh upgraded graffix.
Also, Firefox is the browser that Scenesters claim for reasons they themselves don't understand their Br00tal myspaces are best viewed on, though they of course don't know what the fuck they're talking about and are mostly doing it for the USI factor, and the belief that in order to view their 1337 html $killz, Firefox is required.
There is exactly one metric shit-ton of addons and haxorz[2] to make you teh uber power uz3r, but noone cares.
The Browser for Treehuggers
Firefox claims on its website to be a 100% organic browser, attempting to turn the issue of browser preference into an environmental dilemma with severe moral implications. This gimmick is sure to entice hippies, poseurs, and fuckwits. Nevermind the fact that all computer programs are nothing but electrons, and the act of sitting on your fat ass surfing the internet and producing methane does nothing to counter global warming, whether the crumbs of food that get stuck in your keyboard were produced with the use of pesticides or not.
Spreading AIDS
Firefox was such a phenomenon that a whole bunch of non-furry Firefox lovers (not that any of them aren't closet furries, mind you) got together on a website called SpreadFirefox.org and made it their purpose to make everyone a Firefox user. With their battle cry of "Take Back the Web", they showed their love and devotion to the browser.
Unfortunately, these people were (and are) largely unaware that Mozilla Corp. spent millions of dollars on a traditional, big-evil-corporate ad campaign to build up hype.
Bantown
At Toorcon 2006, notorious Bantown cybercriminals Revmischa and weev announced that they had found over 30 vulnerabilities in Firefox Javascript, which they planned to use to take over the Internets. Much drama ensued, especially among the open sores community who were distressed at the thought that they could no longer bore people by explaining how secure their browser was. It was later revealed that the whole thing had been a troll, and that Bantown didn't have 30 vulnerabilities at all, just one shitty one. Except weev, who had over 30 Firefox 0days revealed to him in mystical communion with the prophet Jah Lightning, after he accidentally took acid and meth at the same time.
Firefox 3.6
It's not very often we like to mention factual information on ED, but we would like to inform you that this program is unstable as fuck. At the request of our website owner, Joseph Evers, Here's a link to "fix" (downgrade) your shitty 2.0 installation for Windows.
Firefox +1
With release of Firefox 4, Mozilla adapted the most autistic development cycle ever heard of. Normal developers make a new release whenever a new technology is stable and critical bugs have been fixed. Mozilla releases a snapshot of the latest stable codebase every 6 weeks and slaps an incremented major version number on it. Between version 4 and 13 little to nothing has been changed. To top that, since version 5, Firefox has only 2 version integers and not 4. Cause at Mozilla Corp. nobody needs to denote that they're just fixing minor bugs and glitches.
BloatyFox
If there's one general consistency with Firefox, it's exponential memory BLOAT! Each new iteration of the software seems to DOUBLE the amount of system memory the fiery little bitch beats down within its depths. What exactly it's doing with all that memory or why it even needs it in the first place is anyone's guess. It is theorized however that the developers and programmers of the software don't actually have a fucking cl00 as to what it is they're even doing. That theory is supported by the fact that Firefox is entirely spaghetti bitched from ancient freeware Mozilla browser source code; one slop mess piled on top of another and another and another. Each new heaping helping of hodgepodge code furthering the fucking failure that is Firefox.
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So Firefox uses less memory than Internet Explorer? ORLY?
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Each new version brings new bloat.
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Will it ever end?
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Present Version
The extension apocalypse
On May 3rd, 2019, Mozilla "accidentally" tripped their extension kill switch and everyones' browser extensions were suddenly terminated. Needless to say, that was not a fun day across offices in the world.
As one would expect, Mozilla claims their kill switch, mandatory "add-on signing", is just to "protect us" (sounds familiar?). As a side effect, it lets Mozilla dictate which extensions its users are allowed to use.[1]
Spin-offs
Iceweasel
Debian has had enough of Firefox not being entirely free software, but merely a freeware cocktease. Thus since with Firefox 3.0, Debian Foundation started to patch Firefox' codebase and replace their proprietary artwork with GPL artwork. Despite having exact same engine as Firefox, many websites would not recognize the new browser as Firefox which forced its users to spoof user agents, thus saying goodbye to accurate measurement of their browser market share.
Nightly
Good software comes to Windows with a 64-bit flavor. That's how we know Firefox is not good software. 64-bit builds of Firefox for Windows, known as Nightly, started in 2010 and have since remained in alpha branch of the codebase. Probably because they are fucking awful. They eat up more memory than their stable counterparts on Linux and FreeBSD, their handling of Flash inspires suicidal thoughts, there are no localized releases and because alpha version is a few numbers ahead of stable releases, half of your plugins won't work. Nightly was formerly known as Minefield, which was a more appropriate name, for whenever you launch it you have a fair chance of stepping into a mine that'll crash your browser.
Waterfox
Effect of efforts of an idealist programmer posse trying to improve where Nightly failed. One can only give it credit for not having an eating disorder as severe as Nightly and handling Flash in an acceptable manner. It still sucks because it's just a rehash of Mozilla codebase with swapped artwork, compiler optimizations, and nothing more to that made by the Britfag Alex Kontos. Sounds familiar? It isn't localized either, and you have to buy a recent Intel processor and be using x64 bit windows to use it at full speed as it's compiled with Intel's Compiler, that's racist toward AMD processors. You didn't buy cheap hardware to complain about it being slow, anyway - right?
Given that Mozilla axxed XUL-based extensions such as TabMix Plus with version 57 in 2017, Waterfox made it their task to continue support for XUL-based extensions. These allow for more customizability over the user interface than WebExtensions-based extensions.
GNU IceCat
GNU decided to jump on the "pimp my Firefox" bandwagon with the rest of the gang. The result is a browser that is not localized, loading each new page into the cache for at least a minute. Richard Stallman approves.
Pale Moon
Pale Moon is a fork of a older version of Firefox, Firefox 3 to be specific. It's made by a furry named Moonchild (M.C. Straver). Nothing much bad to say about it, except it's good as fuck for older PCs when it is your last resort. Only downside is that it's not going to support most of your favorite add-ons, and the founder blocks add-ons deemed by him to be "malicious". Multiple Pale Moon users whined about this even though it is possible to turn the blacklist off in about:config, much like how it's possible to turn off the telemetry or any other features you don't like in base Firefox. Just something new to bitch about.
LibreWolf
Firefox but with different search providers, telemetry removed, and content blocker uBlock Origin pre-installed. Also, perhaps most importantly, Mozilla can not remotely disable your extensions.
Demonic Connection
Any user trying to find out the true meaning of Firefox needs not look further then the supplied information pages. Simply type in about:mozilla and you will receive Firefox's true meaning:
—from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9 |
Without doubt the foxes represent Microsoft who using their unique brand of logic attempted to take over the world by distributing medicore webbrowsers thus resurecting the beast that is and was Anonymous. This red is an accurate rendering of the blood of Opera.
Firefox joins the herd
It was apparent ever since that Firefox was promoting furfaggotry. Mozilla Corp. decided that it should now give a pat on the back to another socially unacceptable niche. What Mozilla Corp. doesn't realize, is that by doing so it supports what bronies stand for and completely ruins their public image and credibility.
Personas
Last Thursday's update added personas which let people make a theme and submit it. They only allow G-rated personas so it's gay.
Firefox Quantum
Some time ago, Mozilla decided that they wanted to become like the other shitty mainstream browsers like Chrome, Edge, and completely fucked up their browser and named the mess that came out as a result Firefox "Quantum". They completely redesigned the whole browser engine which as a result made it completely incompatible with old add-ons and themes, and also made it eat more RAM and CPU.
Gallery
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Opera pw3ning Firefox like always.
Opera-fantard who doesn't know any better^. -
She's Firefox-ko.
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Sweet Jesus! Gimme summa dat furry luv!
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Aliens travel many light-years to download shitty browsers
See Also
- Chrome - Google's latest piece of shit to pwn all your Internets.
- Epiphany - Exactly the same, but less useful.
- Firefox 3 - Exactly the same, except for being a complete piece of shit.
- Firefox XPS IRC Attack - Port blocking? In my Firefox?
- Getfirefox - All the info you need on Mozilla's evil plan to conquer the universe.
- SeaMonkey - Shit nobody cares about.
External Links
- Which browser is the best?
- Firefox gets its overrated shit owned. - Much like Final Fantasy 7 fanboys who fag up Wikipedia articles by hiding the truth about how much it sucks, Firefox Fanboys will do anything in their power to stop you from seeing this link including IP banning and deleting you.
- A link to the amazing browser. *Whoops.
- Lame joke. "WHAT IF MICROSOFT BOUGHT OUT FIREFOX LULZ!" It crashes whenever someone visits a popular site like Google.
- Ten different internet browsers, and why each individual one sucks.
Mozilla Firefox is part of a series on serious business |
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Featured article June 12 & July 13, 2012 | ||
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