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Futuristic Sex Robotz

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Original Logo
Hotel Coral Essex
This pretty much explains itself
Not associated or affiliated with FSR, but a good lay nonetheless
File:Noname1108109142.JPG
Sex Botz will come to rule the earth.

Nerdcore group widely popular with Goons and Drama whores, Futuristic Sex Robotz (signed to 19 Newborn Baby Goat Records) was founded by an AIDS infected John Holmes and ziggens in late November of 2004 during a drunken haze produced by 24oz cans of Keystone Ice.

Their first single, "Welcome to the Internet," a scathing, violent, and hilarious take on internet culture covering everything from Spyware to Rachelle Waterman, was wildly popular in Good Korea and the internets at large, having been promoted by Dave Chappelle as well as Nicholas Morency. Was that sentence long enough for you?

In early 2005, additional members were added to the group and in April of 2005, Futuristic Sex Robotz released their second single about the Xbox game "Halo 2" titled, "Don't Make Us Kick Your Ass," along with a music video produced entirely as machinima. The video has been downloaded over 500,000 times since its release and is wildly known as the funniest Halo video ever made, setting it apart from everything else ever made ever.

Futuristic Sex Robotz released their first full album Hotel Coral Essex (HOTel cORAL esSEX as specified in the album art) for free download in DRM-free format (fuck the RIAA) in February 2006. As of August 19th, 2006, FSR's mp3s are the most downloaded things evar, besides AMVs.

Unfortunately, the Futuristic Sex Robotz have gone MIA. Their website (and thus their downloads) are down and one of the last communications from one of the crew states that 3 of them are now "working for Bungie", though you can still find a torrent of the mp3s on The Pirate Bay or else, if you're too retarted to use torrents you can download the zip or individual tracks on FuturisticSexRobotz.net .

Members

Discography

Lyrics

Hotel Coral Essex


[-+]Van on Fire

Rachelle!
What?
My Internet isn't working. Come fix it. Oh, and by the way. When you get back from Anchorage, I'm sending your ass to fat camp!

Hey, yo, man. After we're done roastin' this bitch, let's go to the Super Wal-Mart. Get that new Creed album.
Ah, yeah, man. Scott Stapp, that guy's a musical genious.
One of the great minds of our generation.

Man, look at that. We're burnin' this van so good, no one's every gonna figure out what we did.


[-+]Welcome to the Internet

PC Speaker:
Sit down and take five while I defrag your drive,
With Jack in the Box tacos and a dope G5,
If you bought MySpace Records: Volume 1,
I'm gonna shoot you in the face with my internet gun,
My harddrive is huge, MP3s are external,
Back up off the urinal and write in my LiveJournal,
At the 'puter all night 'cuz my life is nocturnal,
Data backup assures that my porn is eternal,
"You crazy," that's what all those bitches got to say,
So I whip it out and post a pic in my LJ,
Friends-only 'cuz I don't want my Mom to see,
If she saw, she'd cut off the internet and cable TV,
But I don't give a fuck about those internet hoes,
I gotta cut em off before they want to propose,
'Cuz the herpes isn't covered by my HMOs,
Delete 'em from my buddy list,
that's how it goes.

Motherboard:
Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene,
And we'll heat up your case just like an Athlon XP,
We don't have no love for the internet skeeze,
'Cus our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green.

Coaxke:
Trippin' balls in bathroom stalls,
Waitin for a fine ass bitch to call,
The THC hits my CPU,
And I'm chasin' after dimes like an Orthodox Jew,
Plug-'n'-play a bitch, I'm a player bitch,
Like some virus shit, countin' web site hits,
My Punisher fan grill is illin',
When I see you on the street, your shit will be spillin',
I'll infect you with Sasser and MS Blaster,
Pop-ups be poppin up faster and faster,
I master a DAT tape full of raw raps, perhaps,
My shit make your whole crew collapse,
All you hackers, who gettin' on my case,
Coaxke is here, and I'll reformat your fuckin face.

Motherboard:
Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene,
And we'll heat up your case just like an Athlon XP,
We don't have no love for the internet skeeze,
'Cus our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green.

PC Speaker:
Sit back, 'cuz I got a little story to tell,
And no I'm not talkin about no AOL,
I'm talkin about how Firefox saved me from browser hell,
While I was usin' Internet Explorer on my DSL,
Firefox 0.3, it spoke to me,
It said "I'll make your life better than you ever could dream,
I'll get rid of all those pop-ups for free MP3s,
and I'll blow spyware's head off while it's down on its knees."

Motherboard:
Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene,
And we'll heat up your case just like an Athlon XP,
(Sex Robotz, muthafucka!)
We don't have no love for the internet skeeze,
'Cus our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green.
Futuristic Sex Robotz, always on the scene,
And we'll heat up your case just like an Athlon XP,
(Sex Robotz, muthafucka!)
We don't have no love for the internet skeeze,
'Cus our PayPal accounts are overflowing with green.

PC Speaker:
Yo, if you were spyware, you can't hear this shit anymore because you're fuckin dead, motherfucker. We bustin up the block with our iced-out modded cases and 120mm Punisher fan-grills, motherfucker. And if your Mom talks shit to us, we'll kill her and burn her in a motherfuckin' van, motherfucker, and write about that shit in our LiveJournals, motherfucker. And if you want somethin crazy, like pineapple, fuck you, we'll kill you motherfucker.


[-+]Back in the Day

Recycle Bin:
NES at the Shack is how I first got down,
Pops got a job, moved the fam to Sea-town,
Checkin' BBS's for my warez and porn,
Around this time the mafia was born,
Spendin' mad hours getting buff in LORD,
Get with the tavern ho, show off my long sword,
Couple years later, hit the Hotline scene,
Waitin' in queue is where I've never been seen,
Got hooked up with fat accounts,
Get my shit fast and in large amounts,
Use my Cyrix chip to cook my meals,
Laugh all you want, I'll own yo' ass at Wacky Wheels,
Got my emulators and a couple thousand ROMs
And all the F-Kiss from blah blah dot com,
Now we got Torrents and bandwidth up to our necks,
Looking back's crazy, but I wonder what's next.

All:
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.

Coaxke:
Back in the day, System 7.5,
Had HyperCard stacks on my SyQuest drive,
Once I got a modem I was never fuckin' bored,
Always dialin' up a BBS to play me some LORD,
I stole my school's dial-up to get the internet,
Had a copy of Ircle and no regrets,
Chillin' in #macfilez, leechin' on bots,
It took nine years to get a download spot,
Hours and hours, makin' Marathon maps,
Always on the run 'cuz I set it to caps,
Eventually I got a brand new Power Mac,
So fuckin' fast, I almost had a heart attack,
Ran a Hotline server on my school's T1,
"Win Ben Stein's Warez" was the name of that one,
Quake 3 Test in the computer lab,
Never went to class 'cuz that shit was a drag.

All:
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.

Subrandom:
Back in the day, cruisin' through the DOS prompt,
A litte modem action I got anything I want,
Blake Stone or some Duke 3D,
IPX LAN, don't fuck with me,
Back in the day we had four buttons man,
Gravis GamePad 'til we lost our tan,
ZZT, where I made my first game,
Shit was mad hot 'til Click-n-Play came,
Up in the attic, it's Jumpin Flash,
All day long 'til a PlayStation crash,
Pirated Thrill Kill, what a waste of time,
Now I get why they trashed that crime,
We got nerd history, stories for days,
Spit it how I lived it 'til this shit pays,
So back up off if you question the cred,
OG nerds, we'll cut off your head.

PC Speaker:
Yo, back in the day, shit was the best,
I pirated Duke Nukem off a BBS,
A pimp with a 486 dx, deuce,
Double piped to increase my juice,
Halloween Harry and Commander Keen,
Nowadays, it seems like a wonderful dream,
Up in school, I'm on the LC 2s,
Used the backdoor to drop right outta Foolproof,
Then one day, there was the internet,
And anything I wanted, I could easily get,
Anytime I wanted A-double-P-Z,
Just connect to H-O-T-L-I-N-E,
Click the banner, fourth word, seventh line,
Log in and anything I wanted was mine,
I started up a server called "Industrial Strength,"
And got sued by the R-I-double-A,
But I was born into a new world of computers,
And we became a generation of looters,
But I said it before, and I'll say it again,
It's like bein' high just rememberin'.

All:
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, (back in the day) Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, (back in the day) Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, (back in the day) we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.
Back in the day, (back in the day) Shufflepuck Cafe,
Banner ads, gettin' paid, ICQ, gettin' laid,
Back in the day, (back in the day) we knew Sulu was gay,
Munchin' numbers, runnin' lodes, monochrome displays.


[-+]Fuck the MPAA

Law and Order intro: In the entertainment industry's war on its customers, the CEOs of media conglomerates are represented by two separate yet equally-important groups.
The Motion Picture Association of America, who believes their shitty copy protection will suddenly become effective if they throw the DMCA in enough people's faces.
And the Recording Industry Association of America, who sues children.
These are their stories.

PC Speaker:
Fuck the M-P-double-A comin' straight out the underground
A young pirate got it bad cause I'm down,
Loadin' DVDs like a motherfuckin' fiend,
Bring my camera to the movies and I put em on BT,
Back all that stolen content up on DVD-ROMs,
'Cuz my tip's been piracy since I dropped out my Mom's,
And just because I share my MP3s,
They got the government comin' after me,
Instead of suin' kids why don't you step on up,
And release a couple albums that don't completely suck,
Stop puttin DRM onto audio CDs,
That don't make it any harder to steal your MP3s,
If I want your shit for free, I ain't gonna have to pay,
And all your bullshit is why the fuck I say,
Hack the Gibson, hack the Gibson,
I'm seedin' BitTorrents like a digital pimp, son.

All:
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA

Recycle Bin:
Robot pirates, we get our shit for free,
Parental Advisory you'll never fuckin' see,
Been a couple years since I seen an FBI warning,
Cut it out cause that shit's mad boring,
Ya'll fuckin dumber than that bitch from bad boys,
Step to the Bin and it's grandma's sex toys,
I'ma just keep fillin' up muh drives,
The ones that disapear when the lawsuit arrives,
All you fuckin suits can suck my balls,
When you get done you gonna make some calls,
I better see some changes or it's time to fight,
You ain't gonna manage my digital rights.

All:
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA

Subrandom:
Remember when anti-trust was the thing,
Now you're set up for downloadin' Sting,
Treatin' payin' customers like criminals,
Pens filled up with music nerd animals,
Buyin' off senators left and right,
My vote doesnt count in this fuckin' fight,
On the 56k had hundreds of songs,
Drives partitioned like asses in thongs,
Now its gigs of illegal content,
If I get caught I'm joinin' a convent,
Fuck what you heard, it's all a scam,
If they at your door burn 'em in a van.

All:
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA

Man, now lemme tell you. The other day, RIAA, they tried to kiss me man. Then they turned me around and tried to fuck me in the ass. Those motherfuckers that sold us out. Like Judas did to Jesus. For some like, for some little coins and shit. What the fuck?

Coaxke:
They got dollar signs in their fuckin' eyes,
With heads in-between politicians' thighs,
Fat checks endorsed by senators that lie,
Pullin' fake dollar losses straight outta the sky,
And I don't trust trusted computing,
They don't want it around to stop looting,
The internet is the only place you're still free,
If you disagree, just you wait and see,
You wanna lock down the web and throw away the key?
Well, you better not touch my fuckin' technology,
So back the fuck off or you're fuckin' dead,
Yellin' 1337 on a motherfuckin' fed.

All:
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA
Fuck the M-P-double-A
Fuck the R-I-double-A
Fuck the suits behind the BSA
And fuck 'em all for the DMCA


[-+]The Positronic Pimp

Tasha: You are fully functional, aren't you?
Data: Of course, but -
Tasha: HOW fully functional?
Data: In every way, of course. I am programmed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring.
Tasha: Ah, you jewel, that's exactly what I'd hoped!

Coaxke:
Let me tell you about a man from the 24th century,
put a lot of fools in a space penitentiary.
He's the futuristic sex android,
too cool for school or bad hemorrhoids.
He's the only one, he's that unique,
and he saved the ship every single week.
With 88 petabytes in his brain,
his freestyles flow like fine champagne.

Motherboard:
The positronic pimp,
built by Noonien Soong.
Call him up, he won't go limp,
or finish too soon.

Coaxke:
One day this fool said he wasn't a man,
so Data went to court and he took the stand.
He said, "Fuck you, bitch, I'm as sentient as,
all the ensigns that have sucked my glans!"
And when his girl's quarters were like a pig sty,
he clocked the ho straight in the eye.
And when the Borg queen went and sat on his dick,
he played the goth bitch like a two-dollar trick.

Motherboard:
The positronic pimp,
built by Noonien Soong.
Call him up, he won't go limp,
or finish too soon.

Subrandom:
6-foot-1 and 3 tons of fun,
not a fatass but a robotic badass.
24 centimeters, Data's fully functional,
internal chronometer, he's always punctual.
The only pimp with a positronic net,
his big white cock got all the bitches wet.
Now don't get this android mad at you,
he's quick to grab a Type-Two and blast on fools.

Motherboard:
The positronic pimp,
built by Noonien Soong.
Call him up, he won't go limp,
or finish too soon.

Recycle Bin:
What does the android have to say to his favorite pussy?

Data:
Felis Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
an endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses,
contribute to your hunting skill and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
a singular development of cat communication,
that obviates your basic hedonistic predilections,
for a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents,
you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance,
and when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the levels of behavior you display,
connote a fairly well developed cognitive array,
and though you are not sentient and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true, valued friend.

Motherboard:
The positronic pimp,
built by Noonien Soong.
Call him up, he won't go limp,
or finish too soon.
Positronic pimp,
Yeah.

Coaxke: (fading through previous and next verse)
Go Data, it's your birthday, go Data.
Go Data, got emotions, go Data.
Go Data, it's your birthday, go Data.
Go Data, got emotions, go Data.
Go Data, it's your birthday, go Data.
Go Data, got emotions, go Data.
Go Data, it's your birthday, go Data.
Go Data, got emotions, go Data.

Recycle Bin:
Man, this droid's pimpin' is amazing,
displays a bitch slap, simply hair raisin'.
Stable of hoes three light years deep,
phaser never on stun, so don't try to creep.
Lore fucked around, beaming out emotions,
Data sprayed them bitches with his pimp potions.
Pull out the box, let loose the gimp,
Lore said, "Shit! It's the positronic pimp!"


[-+]Hey, Ladies

Girl 1: Did he try to molest you in any way?
Girl 2: No, he's not that kind of robot!

Coaxke:
Checkin for e-mails from big titty females,
show me they puss so I know they ain't shemales.
Get you on the cam, have you whip yo' shit out,
come to your house and rain away yo' dick drought.
Bitch, I understand if today's a heavy flow day,
allergic to yo' mung so I came with some Flonase.
Maybe if you lucky, I'll take you to a con,
cosplay hoes, they wanna get it on.

Subrandom:
Nerd MCs with the illist style,
Martian dick, bitches call green mile.
Roll up in a Pacer, ridin' on spinners,
pull out my dick you eat it for dinner.
Sittin on a couch with a goth and furry,
fuck 'em in the ass and cum a McFlurry.
All day bitches bug me at my house,
bust in your ass then you clean it your mouth.

BonzoDog:
Ladies, let's have some fun.
We're gonna stick our meat in between your buns (Recycle Bin: dinner franks).
Your pussy is the port and we're plugging it for sport.
Bitch, betta get down on your knees.

PC Speaker:
You don't have to go to the McDonald's drive through,
you can have my McDick up inside you.
We don't need to leave the crib if you want somethin' to eat,
I got a deep dick pizza and a 5 for 5 roast beef.
Bitch, I met you on MySpace.
You asked if I had a log for your fireplace.
Got you on the floor and unbuttoned you blouse,
you got mad when I kicked you up outta my house.
Don't talk to me bitch, you know my M.O.
Says on my profile, I don't date a ho,
I wanna love you in your butt till you pass the fuck out,
then I lean over, take a dump in your mouth.
You're gonna have to clean my floor
if you spit that shit out, whore.

BonzoDog:
Ladies, let's have some fun.
We're gonna stick our meat in between your buns (Recycle Bin: dinner franks).
Your pussy is the port and we're plugging it for sport.
Bitch, betta get down on your knees.

Recycle Bin:
Like Karl Hungus, I be Logjammin,
big-assed booties get the straight slammin'.
I saw your n00dz on show_your_boobs,
fill you up with exotic lubes.
Chill, don't trip, it's just my dick.
I know you never seen such a monster stick.
Whip off your bra and run it between your tits,
rest my balls on your juicy lips.
I'll pull your hair, suck on your feet,
and when I bust it's "Ahhh, skeet skeet!"
When I'm done scratchin' your itch,
get your ass to the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

BonzoDog:
Ladies, let's have some fun.
We're gonna stick our meat in between your buns (Recycle Bin: dinner franks).
Your pussy is the port and we're plugging it for sport.
Bitch, betta get down on your knees.
Ladies, let's have some fun.
We're gonna stick our meat in between your buns (Recycle Bin: dinner franks).
Your pussy is the port and we're plugging it for sport.
Bitch, betta get down on your knees.


[-+]WoW

Recycle Bin: Once upon a time in the land of Azeroth.
Subrandom: Dave Chappelle fought David Hasselhoff.
Recycle Bin: We started out life in the Valley of Trials.
Subrandom: Now we stack gold in big-ass piles.
Recycle Bin: Lookin' through the books on top of the shelves.
Subrandom: Learning spells, gonna plow some naked elves.
Recycle Bin: Chillin' in Thunder Bluff or Iron Forge.
Subrandom: We're engineers at the level of Geordi LaForge.

PC Speaker:
Got home from work and I had some time,
So I opened up WoW and I got online,
Logged into my Shaman up on Daggerspine,
When this maxed out motherfucker tried to take what's mine,
He said "I spent a thousand hours and I failed out of school,
And to justify it, I challenge you to a duel"
I said thats okay, I know you'd beat me,
Look at me I'm not even at level 20,
I've got one of those things that they call a job,
And so I can't spend all day, runnin a mob,
Motherfucker kept pushin', wouldn't leave me alone,
I said fine bitch, pretend to be Sylvester Stallone,
After he won he started talkin hella shit,
And I thought to myself, "Is this fool legit?"
I called Recycle Bin and Subrandom to the place,
And they found the little bitch and regulated on his face,
See, we don't take no shit from internet teenagers,
Pretending to to be straight gangster ass bangers,
Step out of cyberspace and come over to my place,
I got a level 60 bullet for your motherfuckin' face.

Recycle Bin: Once upon a time in the land of Azeroth.
Subrandom: Dave Chappelle fought David Hasselhoff.
Recycle Bin: We started out life in the Valley of Trials.
Subrandom: Now we stack gold in big-ass piles.
Recycle Bin: Lookin' through the books on top of the shelves.
Subrandom: Learning spells, gonna plow some naked elves.
Recycle Bin: Chillin' in Thunder Bluff or Iron Forge.
Subrandom: We're engineers at the level of Geordi LaForge.

Subrandom:
Remember back when 10 fuckin' levels was hard?
Nows it's ten 60s gankin noobs in the yard,
Fat stacks of gear for Blackwing Lair,
10k armor when I shift into bear,
We got all these farmers rollin' on gear,
Now we quick to boot em the fuck out of here,
Murlocks be screamin' when we show up,
Volatile Rum's what's fillin' up my cup,
Today we catch no hassle in Stratholm,
Droppin' bosses harder than John Holmes,
Updated weekly, this shit is great,
Can't say no more cause the game don't wait.

Recycle Bin: Once upon a time in the land of Azeroth.
Subrandom: Dave Chappelle fought David Hasselhoff.
Recycle Bin: We started out life in the Valley of Trials.
Subrandom: Now we stack gold in big-ass piles.
Recycle Bin: Lookin' through the books on top of the shelves.
Subrandom: Learning spells, gonna plow some naked elves.
Recycle Bin: Chillin' in Thunder Bluff or Iron Forge.
Subrandom: We're engineers at the level of Geordi LaForge.

Recycle Bin:
Started out my life killing them boars,
Now I spend my days rapin' Night Elf whores,
Catch you in the valley, and get me some head,
I swear that we're fightin' an army of speds,
Don't even get me started on you fuckin' gold farmers,
You gotta make a living, but I need that armor,
One day I met this dude yellin' "Yar motherfucker,"
Tankin' up mobs like a angry drunk trucker,
Introduced me to the ill Druid squad, yo,
Never run with em, but I'll give a priest a nod, ho,
You can melt faces but I'm smashin' 'em in,
Windfury on my tuf so you fear Recycle Bin,
Watch out, comin' soon to an ass near you,
A non-stop beating that's long overdue.

Recycle Bin: Once upon a time in the land of Azeroth.
Subrandom: Dave Chappelle fought David Hasselhoff.
Recycle Bin: We started out life in the Valley of Trials.
Subrandom: Now we stack gold in big-ass piles.
Recycle Bin: Lookin' through the books on top of the shelves.
Subrandom: Learning spells, gonna plow some naked elves.
Recycle Bin: Chillin' in Thunder Bluff or Iron Forge.
Subrandom: We're engineers at the level of Geordi LaForge.


[-+]Dishwater

Recycle Bin: Yeah the Robotz in the place with some nuts for your face,
too many hoes got that crotch mace.
Stinks down here like you need to do the dishes,
and this tom-cat ain't all that into fishes.
When I stuck it in, bitch busted a queef,
make your eyes water, good grief.
Shit smelled like old sushi and bakers yeast,
gotta wash that shit if you want me to feast.

Coaxke:
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.

Subrandom:
Cootch kept talkin' like a siren in the mist,
got down to it with the thickest fist.
Little did I know the smell wouldn't go,
now my arm's stinkin' up to the elbow.
Take a lesson from this, keep your shit clean,
soap, water, or maybe Listerine.
Funk's gotta go before I go down below,
four little words you gotsta know.

Coaxke:
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.

Coaxke:
Furries, you better scrub the cat.
You wouldn't sweat so much, if you lost the fat.
Blow out the dust in your Nintendo cartridge.
Something here stinks like Danny Partridge.
So.

Coaxke:
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.
I believe in douching.


[-+]Livejournal

Thursday, November 18th, two-thousand and four.
After returning home from a holiday in Anchorage,
where she had visited the Hot Topic department store,
Rachelle Waterman made this cryptic post in her online diary: Just to let you know, my mother was murdered.
I won't have computer access until the weekend or so,
because the police took my computer to go through the hard drive.
I thank everyone for their thoughts and emails.

I hope to talk to you when I get my computer back.

It is later revealed that Rachelle had enlisted the services,
of two of her ex-boyfriends to lock her mother inside of a van,
and then burn it.

Approximately one year later, a sixteen-year-old girl known online as,
rockonlittleone, was taken into custody.
She had allegedly stabbed her mother to death.

What could have caused these seemingly unrelated murders?
The only thread connecting these incidents is the internet website known,
as LiveJournal.com.
We attempted to contact the website's creator, bradfitz,
but we were stymied by his press secretary.
The only thing that we know for sure, is that LiveJournal is a disease.
A disease that infects anyone who is exposed to it,
imparting them with the will to kill their mothers.
This pandemic, like AIDS, will continue to kill again and again and again,
until stopped.


[-+]Back to the Future

If my calculations are correct,
When this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour,
You're going to see some serious shit.

My flows hit you at straight eighty-eight,
Miles per hour that's enough to generate,
One point twenty-one jigowatts son,
And I'm on the run, from the Libyans,
It was a straight-jack move for plutonium,
And when the van rolls up it's pandemonium,
One eighteen AM at Twin Pines Mall,
Is when I can pinpoint my total downfall,
Now they say Doc Brown, he was a lonely man,
But his time machine was a DeLorean,
He said "You're gonna go back, you gotta do it in style,
Or take your ass on back down to 8 mile."
My life is flashin' before my eyes,
And the bullets is flyin' across the skies,
They got my homie, Doc, and yo he ain't gonna make it,
The Libyans is comin' back around, I gotta take it,
Jam in the keys, then I slam it into gear,
Stomp the gas to get the fuck outta here,
And if this wasn't enough of a disaster,
Libyans on my tail, I'm goin' faster and faster,
Happened to be plutonium in the Flux Capacitor.

And now I'm headed back to '55 with no passenger,
I wish that I had packed myself a travel kit,
'Cuz Doc was right, hit 88 and saw some serious shit,
I roll up quick and I bust into a farm,
And then I'm like "Hey, sorry, about your barn"
About this time I had the realization,
That it was '55 in the U.S. nation,
Now I gotta find out what the fuck I'm facin',
Without destroyin' history in the makin',

Gotta find some time to collect my thoughts,
So I dip into a diner and analyze my plots,
A guy walks up, "Can I take your order?"
I musta sounded like I had a mental disorder,
He said "I can't give you a Pepsi, free,
You gotta pay for that shit, see?"
Just about then, a man walks by,
And he's like "Yo, I'm talkin' to you, McFly"
I try to hold back a reaction that's knee-jerk,
And Biff is like "Yo McFly, where's my homework?
Don't trick me around, or I be fightin',
How's it gonna look, my homework in your handwritin'?"

So I dip out the diner, my coffee, I swallow,
Keep a low profile, my father, I follow,
When I find him, he's peeping on my mom in a tree,
Like hidden_camera_sluts.mpg,
He falls into the street, to my disdain,
So I tackle him outta the way, like ESPN,
So I'm hit by a car and I gotta sustain,
Gramps busts out "They jumped out in front of my car again!"
I don't yet know it but I'm not in luck,
Seein' my dad has made the timeline totally fucked,
I wake up in a room, am I goin' insane?
A hot slut says "Howdy, my name is Lorraine,"
I'm like "What the fuck? Is this my mom?
Definitely is, and she is comin' on strong."
It's been a common scene, but I made it out alive.

Now I'm headin' on over, to Riverside Drive,
Gotta meet the doc, Emmett Brown,
And find out what's really goin' on in this town,
You couldn't believe me, if you're so inclined,
Doc opens the door and tries to read my mind,
I said "I'm from the future, I know it sounds demented.
I came here in a time machine that you invented.
And now it's come down to stayin' alive.
I gotta get back to 1985."
Eventually I manage to convince the old man,
We head out to where I hid the delorean,
I hook up the camera from the video shoot,
and we see this old doc in a radiation suit.
He says "Radiation suit, of course! Because the fallout from the atomic wars!"
We keep movin' on and he's like "Great Scott!
One point twenty-one jigowatts?!? The proposition at hand,
is very frightenin'. For that kinda power,
would need a bolt of lightnin'.
You never know when or where it's gonna strike"
Just like my devastatin' flows on the mic.
It might have seemed as if, the fates had conspired,
because I happened to have information on a flier.
Now I just have to wait to saturday,
so I can chill out and smoke weed everyday.

It might seem sad but I'm sorry to say,
Story just doesn't happen to end that way,
I say "The fact, bears repeatin', that i happened to interfere,
with my parents' first meeting.
Gotta lay low and make this right,
So my parents can hook up at the dance at night."
But I run into some problems in this quest,
'Cuz my dad is a total idiot at best,
how can I get my mom to give him a chance,
so they can hook up at the undersea dance?"

The only way that I can get rid of all this friction,
Is to use a little bit of science fiction,
Break into his house and scare him with Van Halen.
And tell him "This dance you better not be bailin'."

The long story short, it worked out in the end,
And my mom's honor, he did defend.
Turns out that Biff was out of luck,
Ran his brand new car into a manure truck,
In the end I found out at last,
That my mom's a drunken slut who takes it in the ass,
And all of Biff's homies I found out that they were,
To pussy to mess with those addicts of reefer,
And at the dance, I rocked everybody,
Played guitar until my hands were bloody,
Lightning struck the tower, 4 after 10,
and I made it back to the future, again.

So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here?

It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music.
What about robots?
Oh, they're everywhere.
I don't even know why the scientists make them.


[-+]Don't Make Us Kick Your Ass

Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.
Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.

Coaxke: I stuck you, motherfucker, oh, stick stick, god damn!
Recycle Bin: God damn!

Recycle Bin:
Clockin' headshots like they're goin' out of style,
Leave you and your homies in a big ass pile,
Dual M6Cs cause I roll like John Woo,
Sprayin' hot lead, have you screamin' "What? Who?"
Coaxke's got that Plasma/BR55 hit,
Kill ya hella fast, so we call him "green shit,"
B'Dog's round the corner, M90 ready cocked,
Not close enough? Grenades steady stocked, (BonzoDog: Haha, I stuck you!)
SR's bustin' domes on that crazy sniper scene,
Yo, Coaxke, what's Killtacular mean?

Coaxke: Like that thing you do with underage teens!
Recycle Bin: Four in a row, four seconds between.

Will Smith: You did not shoot that green shit at me!

Coaxke:
Elite at this shit since Marathon,
Ten fuckin' years, killin' ya where you spawn,
Look at you, flyin' in your fly banshee,
Rocket locked on, you're next in my spree,
Work some green shit, take you out in one shot,
You'll die screamin' "They're everywhere!" while I drop it like it's hot,
All them snot-nosed brats, you best beware,
Halo ain't for those without pubic hairs.

Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.
Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.

Sgt Johnson: Don't make me take off my belt.
Miranda Keyes: Are you trying to kill me?
Sgt Johnson: Oh, I know what the ladies like.
(unzips pants)
Cortana: And people say I'VE got a big head.

BonzoDog:
Rollin' through your base with the biggest gun I got,
Not so I can shoot you, I won't even use one shot,
Won't find a secret entrance, I'll come through the parking lot,
And jam the handle way up into your expansion slot,
Won't fuckin' know what hit you when I come out to play,
Assassin's what they call me, but the middle name's Melee,
The Mafia is comin' and we're here to fuckin' stay,
Flamin' ninjas all around you and your homies, we will slay,
Y'all got killers in the streets, we got killers in the trees,
And before you know what hit you, you'll be fallin' to your knees,
And when you're kneelin' down there, you may as well suck deez,
To buy you time before we turn your body to swiss cheese.

Whew! Yo, damn, what's that smell?

Subrandom:
FSR, back up in your ass,
Step off the flag, or you'll catch a rocket blast,
Mag in hand, I'll be blastin' your man,
Push his wig back, while I'm makin' a dick scan,
Watch your back, 'cuz I creep up from behind,
Sword in hand and - you're mine,
Leave your bitch screamin for my non-dairy creamer,
Psyche, I'm just gonna drop a Brute steamer,
I ain't got time to bleed,
Frag Dollz, they be catchin' my seed,
Dots on your dome, rock Predator style,
Pussy big as a house, my dick's long as a mile.

Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.
Recycle Bin: Y'all can't fuck with the Spit Yo-Yo Mafia,
Subrandom: With FSR, we're double-teamin' ya,
Coaxke: Your shit will be owned when the game concludes,
BonzoDog: Like you spent every round lookin' at Bea Arthur nudes.

Un-freakin'-believable.

Recycle Bin:
Like an ill ninja with atomic bombs,
Up in your base all day long,
The homies cleared it out so, "Bomb Armed!" round over,
Screamin' "It's just luck!" but we ain't got that clover,
Jacked your flag like code for Half Life 2,
From all directions so you don't know what to do,
Rollin' in a new M12G1, (Coaxke: Sittin' on some dubs!)
If you grab it through the floor, your ass better run,
S-double-Y-M, chillin' with your mom,
Rocket up your ass, like a session with your domme,
Say you could own, if the pistol had a scope?
That shit got balanced, so you best learned to cope,
We got our skills from Marathon, son, (Recycle Bin: Yeah, motherfucker!)
Bitch all you want, the game's already won (Coaxke: Oh! Oh, damn!)

Announcer: Game over.


[-+]Emporium

[ hentai girl whining in background ]
PC Speaker: L-O-L-O-L-O-L ... *laughs* Wait, keep it going...

PC Speaker:
LOLOLOL, bitch, I came in your face.
Yeah, I know it stings like mace,
but get the fuck up out my place.
When my ballzack, is bouncin' off your buttcrack,
you get a sperm attack, knock you out and steal my paper back.
I blow my load hard and fast like Godzilla,
and when it's in your face, they call me ho-killa.
My dick is like a Nascar, it goes around,
and I picked your Mom up at the pound.
With my night vision, I take sluts in dark alleys,
and I stab pregnant bitches at pro-life rallies.
But when I can't fuck your mom, because I've got a warrant,
I head to Empornium, and grab a BitTorrent.

Motherboard:
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.

Coaxke:
I got the good fuckin ratio,
cause they nut on the face of hoes.
Hentai OGM's on my hard drive,
nut out my balls like honey out the beehive.
They all say I've got the super seed,
you get your shit booted for the super greed.
Cause fuck pullin' out, ain't worth the hassle,
fellas, have fun stormin' the castle.
I got a TB of double cream pies,
twenty-five girls and only one guy.
Damn bitch, what a nice surprise,
breakfast with a beej and Tequila Sunrise.

Motherboard:
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.

Recycle Bin: Nerf, nerf my balls bitch. Nerf that shit, there's too much nut in my balls.

Recycle Bin:
Your Mom wants to know why the net's so slow,
video Podcasts, so it's porn to go.
Got it from Empornium, so it's nasty, no doubt,
leave you wretchin' like Tub Girl opened her mouth.
And what comes down must go back up,
cause you got it for free without jizzin' in a cup. (Coaxke: Like at a sperm bank.)
So many titties, real and fake.
Onion Booty bitches with fat asses to shake.
Crazy shit with bitches screamin' in German,
open up they mouths to catch the sperm in.
Pussy farts a lot like it ate some tacos,
blowin' out air to cool off my nachos.

Motherboard:
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.

Subrandom:
30 gigs down and a perfect ratio.
ATM all day on my 5.1 stereo.
Watch where you click late at night,
you'll end up with a dog, fuckin' a dyke.
Empornium's got my back when I need a fix,
all-site rips with millions of pics.
Leave my shit runnin', 24-7,
bandwidth deep like pussy from heaven.

Motherboard:
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.
Come to the Empornium.


[-+]If I Ruled the World

PC Speaker:
In my world, Linux never existed,
Linus Torvalds was born disfigured,
It was too much for his parents to take,
So they locked him in the car and then they pushed it in a lake,
Steve Jobs was murdered by his gay lover elf,
And I finished off Bill Gates by myself,
If I ruled the world, your door would be unlocked,
And I'd teach your Mom not to fear my cock,
I'd download all my music in MP3s,
And wouldn't fear retribution from record companies,
Movies would be free 'cuz they all suck cock,
And I wouldn't have Armageddon bustin' my block.

Motherboard:
If I ruled the world, (Coaxke: All the hackers would unite.)
I'd free all my sons, (Coaxke: Have a picnic at the beach, fly an internet kite.)
Black diamonds and pearls,
If I ruled the world. (Coaxke: Furries wouldn't get to fuck underage girls.)

Coaxke:
If I ruled the world, I'd make the man give me head,
Hack into Fark and delete all of the threads,
Release all the info that wants to be free,
And convince the music biz not to fear MP3s,
Make Bill Gates pay to build the monorail,
Replace the viaduct, and get my friends out of jail,
Give the world iPods made of solid gold,
And release the cure for the common cold.

Motherboard:
If I ruled the world, (Coaxke: All the hackers would unite.)
I'd free all my sons, (Coaxke: Have a picnic at the beach, fly an internet kite.)
Black diamonds and pearls,
If I ruled the world. (Coaxke: Furries wouldn't get to fuck underage girls.)

Subrandom:
If I ruled the world I'd roll up with my squad piece,
Step out the Escalade with my studded cod-piece,
Walk up in the club full of gay married couples,
My pants come down as I undo my buckle,
If I ruled the world, they'd accept my ways,
And the Nerdcore scene wouldn't hate on gays,
If I ruled the world, my cock would be long,
And I'd rock a LAN party in an edible thong,
I'd find a genie and he'd grant me three wishes,
Motherfucker, they're all about penises,
My world was perfect 'til I got high on meth,
And then I got that horse to fuck me to death.

Motherboard:
If I ruled the world, (Coaxke: All the hackers would unite.)
I'd free all my sons, (Coaxke: Have a picnic at the beach, fly an internet kite.)
Black diamonds and pearls,
If I ruled the world. (Coaxke: Furries wouldn't get to fuck underage girls.)

Motherboard:
And you walk up to the Gibson, hand in hand,
Walk up to the Gibson, hack it man.

Recycle Bin:
Lindsay Lohan would have never lost weight,
And all the porno she was in would be great,
I'd never see a dick in a titty community,
There's other fuckin' places for that kinda nudity,
My Empornium ratio would always be at 1,
No one would seed shit where the bitches weigh a ton,
FSR videos introduced by Razor and Blade,
And Zero Cool would finally get laid,
Cereal would find a pair of rollerblade sandals,
And Joey would get himelf a 1337 ass handle,
We'd all have them Japanese toilets for stoolin',
If I ruled the world, it'd be great, no foolin'.

Motherboard:
If I ruled the world, (Coaxke: All the hackers would unite.)
I'd free all my sons, (Coaxke: Have a picnic at the beach, fly an internet kite.)
Black diamonds and pearls,
If I ruled the world. (Coaxke: Furries wouldn't get to fuck underage girls.)

Nerd, please.


[-+]Checking Out

PC Speaker:
Yo, yo. That was our album. We hope you liked our album. We think it was a pretty good album. And now, we'd like to thank the following:
Jack In The Box... Sparks... Slashdot... My mom, and my mom's mom.
Peter Gabriel. Jeff Bridges, aka, The Big Lebowski.
Craig from Craigslist. That guy, the guy who made BitTorrent.
Stefan Gruber... Something Awful, and the Something Awful forums.
Dokken, keep on dreaming, motherfuckers.
We'd like to thank chocolate milk, and the Raindon, R.I.P. - Rest In Peace.
The Kallus Unclez. The Wu-Tang Clan.
And who could forget Bungie and Blizzard.
We wanna thank pre-Columbine KMFDM. And Dr. Emett Brown.
And NPH, aka Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser.
We wanna thank the Golden Girls, and Patrick Stewart, and Brent Spiner, and LeVar Burton.
Rest in peace, Notorious B.I.G. and O.D.B. and SuperNova.
And rest in peace SEGA, Kevin Mitnick.
Rest in peace Dave Murphy, Kate Libby, Lord Nikon.
And rest in peace Razor and Blade.
We'd like to thank Rocko's Modern Life. Bumba and Jaye. CSI Miami. Mozilla Firefox.
We'd like to thank Bumpernuts.
And we'd like to thank internet bitches who been showin' us they titties.
We would like to thank Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Coaxke: Mariska Hargitay!
And Dennis Hopper, we'd like to thank.
We'd like to thank internet porn, and the Fuckingham Palace.
We'd like to thank Bang Bus, and Slick Rick.

Coaxke:
Yo, don't forget Empornium!
Yo, I'd like to than Shure, Propellerheads.
Yo, I got a shout-out for Zorba, and Wevah, and Weev.
LJ Drama, Jameth, Yo, Hep, Girlvinyl.
Encyclopedia Dramatica, yo bantown, muthafuckas.
Ya'll I wanna give a shout-out to Steve Jobs.
Cause dude, his nuts... his nuts is like as big as... my house. And I got a big house.
I wanna, I wanna thank parmesan cheese. 'Cuz it tastes... so, so good.

Recycle Bin:
Alright. Check it out.
I wanna thank A Drow Ranger, for keeping the Mafia tight.
Gary Coleman's mom's pussy. Pudge Brothers Pizza. MC Slice-A-Lot.
The Bit. All the skeebs are the Northgate Mall. Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage.
The Inspiration Chest. Biz Markee, yeah I know we butchered your song.
Shoutouts to all the local Graff writers. Your moms... The Mario Brothers.
Ben Browder. Richard Dean Anderson. James Spader, he was the bomb in Supernova, yo.
Bea Arthur, you know you fine. All my Daggerspine homies.
Tina, we wanna see your titties. C-Lo, and let's not forget your mom.

Subrandom:
Yo, I wanna give shoutouts to Mantis, SeaQuest, the whole old school lineup.
Wanna give shoutouts to Hard-OCP, Engadget, Gizmodo.
The Phantom game console, we're still waitin' on ya, baby. We're still waitin'.
The Taco Truck, Mongoose IPA, that game Seaman.
Oh and that bass fishing game, that shit was hot.
I wanna give, give a s... give thanks to Courtney, for bringing us fuckin' Taco Bell when was all too drunk to leave the studio.
Seagate Harddrives, SNES9x, Nesticle, y'all keepin it real.
Yo, Old Peculiar? All them fools in the studio keepin' them lulz goin'.
Beth's Cafe. Peter Venkman, from World of Psychics. Fuckin', Albuterol.
Power Gloves, Power Pen, that fucking Nintendo robot that cut my god damn finger.
Yo man, that shit is real. I'll give a shoutout to fuckin'...
Fuckin' PC Speaker for writin' my "If I Ruled The World" verse.
Yeah man, you keepin real for our people. Let's just keep it goin', man.

BonzoDog:
I dedicate this performance to the lovin' memory of Microsoft QBasic. Keepin' it real.

PC Speaker:
Yo man, this PC Speaker again. I love you Subrandom.
Will you marry me? In a club? We can make babies, they got technologies,
so two dude's sperm can be one baby, yo.
Yo we done forgotten somebody up in here!
Y'all nerd, please nerd. Nerd I got be talkin about Motherboard up in this piece, man!
I ain't- you know what I'm sayin'?
Motherboard... It's for recordin' them vocals.
Yo mobo... mobo...
Aight man and we want to shout out nuclear bombs and shit mang to the piece... We be up on out on this, jizizoint, boy, fofeezle.


[-+]Just a Friend (Secret Track)

Recycle Bin:
Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date.
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait.
Let me tell ya a story of my situation.
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation.
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert.
She had long hair and a short miniskirt.
I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat.
I was walkin through the crowd and guess who I met.
I whispered in her ear, come to the picture booth.
So I can axe you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof.
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah.
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra.
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused.
I said, "How do you like the show?"
She said, "I was very amused."
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range.
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange.
Then when I asked "Do ya have a man?" she tried to pretend.
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend."
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it.
Here's what I'm gonna sing.

All:
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby.
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby.
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
But you say he's just a friend.

Recycle Bin:
So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time.
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime,
'cuz I have friends and that's a fact.
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq.
Forget about that, let's go into the story.
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me.
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar.
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up.
A relationship or some understanding.
How its gonna be in the future we was plannin'.
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet.
I had no idea I was in for a treat.
After this was established, everything was cool.
The tour was over and she went back to school.
I called every day to see how she was doin.
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'.
I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again.
I said, yo, who was that? Oh, he's just a friend.
Pssh, come on, don't gimme dat.
Jus bust this.

All:
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby.
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby.
You, you got what I need, but you say he's just a friend.
But you say he's just a friend.

PC Speaker:
So I came to her college on a surprise visit.
To see my girl that was so exquisite.
It was a school day, I knew she was there.
at The first semester of the school year.
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm.
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form.
He told me where it was and I as on my way.
her told me had baby doll, I was happy to say.
I arrived in front of the dormitory.
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
Could they show me where it was for the moment.
I didnt know such an event.
So I came to her room, and opened her door.
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
Another killa... fes... fuckin' kissin' my girl in the mouth.
I was so... knock out, sweat down south.
So please listen to the message that I send.
Dont ever talk to a girl who says she just got a friend.

PC Speaker: Will that work for what you guys wanted?
Subrandom: You're really fucking high now. Not like before, when you were like, "I'mma smoke a lil weed..." you're fucking high. You can't even do anything but play with your god damn lighters
Recycle Bin: That was bad.
Coaxke: Pieces of shit! Get the fuck out of my bar!



Singles


[-+]Snakes on a Plane

PC Speaker:
I was flyin' on a plane to Californ-i-a,
when I met this guy whose name was Sammy J.
Got a gin and tonic, Sapphire Bombay.
Sammy said "I prefer number 10, Tanqueray."
After a few, he looks me right in the eye.
"Keep it on the DL, I'm with the FBI.
I'm on this plane to escort this guy,
he can take down the mafia if he testifies."
And then I felt safe, like nothing could go wrong,
oh shit, there's a snake comin' out that bitch's thong.
I remember the time Nas spoke to me,
he said "Life's a B and then you D."
I'm downin' my drink, gettin' ready to die,
but Sammy J stands up and says "Not tonight.
I got a job to do, enough is enough.
I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes and stuff!
Gonna get this guy to court, safe and sane.
I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!"
At this point I passed out after a hand-full of Xanax,
and when I woke up, we were safe at LAX.

Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes up on a plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes!
Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfucking plane!

Coaxke:
I went to the bathroom to make a stink,
when this motherfuckin' snake came up through the sink.
On a flight to hell, no time to think,
gotta get to the cart and have another drink.
A snake in every tube and inside every pipe,
how could this be the end of my life.
If airport security had let me bring a knife.
I could make it home alive to my best friend's wife.
They're coming up through the floor.
I got bit on my hand and I'm feelin' sore.
Unhinged its jaw to take in my head.
I wish that it was Jennifer Connelly instead.

Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes up on a plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes!
Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfucking plane!

Subrandom:
What if your dick was as big as the ocean,
it'd be the only snake not encroachin',
on your seat when you get them free nuts,
anacondas chompin' all the fly butts.
When I looked around, wished I'd taken the train,
there were snakes all over the motherfuckin' plane.
Or better yet, snakes in your brain,
pulse be racin' like you're smokin' cocaine.
Plane stacked with snakes, the flight's non-stop.
I got more butts than a cigarette shop.
Just another day on the TWA,
suckin' out poison, don't say that I'm gay.

Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes up on a plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes!
Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfucking plane!

Recycle Bin:
Hop on the plane, flight 121,
get my big ass to the Robotz show, son.
Find my seat, first class, settle in,
stewardess winkin' like she knows Recycle Bin.
"Bring a double rum and meet me in the can."
"Yo, Coaxke, hurry up with that shit, man.
There's this fine ass bitch, I'ma do in the booth,
get up in that shit like a ninja pussy sleuth."
Work that shit hard, leave a bitch screamin',
little did I know, there's a grippa snakes schemin'.
Fucker bit her in the ass, man, that's whack,
left the ground a player, now I'm a necrophiliac.

Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes up on a plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes!
Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfucking plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes up on a plane!
Snakes: Sssnakesss! (Recycle Bin: What?)
Subrandom: On a plane! We got snakes!
Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfucking plane!

Motherboard:
Snakes on a plane.
Snakes on a plane. (Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfuckin' plane.)
Snakes on a plane.
Snakes on a plane. (Coaxke: Snakes on a motherfuckin' plane.)
Snakes on a plane.
Snakes on a plane.
Snakes on a plane.

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Featured article February 22, 2006
Preceded by
Death 		Futuristic Sex Robotz Succeeded by
You don't have any friends
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