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Delicious Cake

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Warning!
This article is not to be confused with the unfunny meme "The cake is a lie", although it's repeated over 9000 times in the article, because apparently it's funny.
For the game the meme was shat from, see Portal.
The original.
House showing anons how it is done.
This picture isn't cake. It's an illusion. Or, rather, a lie. That's a cake? Looks like a really fucking thick pancake.

Cake is apparently NOT a lie. Cake is delicious and thus... you must eat it. The meme originated from Super Mario 64, where the final reward for weeks of your wasted life was the Princess deciding to "make a Delicious Cake. For Mario!" moar like a delicious sammich amirite? -- No.

Since time immemorial, people have wanted their cake and they have wanted to eat it too. Oh, but if only life was that simple. Unfortunately, there always seems to be something or someone trying to prevent you from getting your hands on delicious cake and eating it. It is at times like these that one must go to extraordinary measures to get at that delicious cake you so crave.

Fortunately, the scientists, mathematicians, engineers, physicists and metaphysicists at 4chan are working around-the-clock posing every conceivable hypothetical situation one might find oneself in, vis-à-vis delicious cake, and the ultimate prize– enjoying said deliciousness.

You are doing it wrong.

A Delicious Cake thread starts when the OP posts a potentially problematic situation involving delicious cake and you, with regards to your getting at and ultimately eating the delicious cake. The brain trust at /b/ then lets loose a barrage of posts with potential solutions to this horrible dilemma. It is a little known fact, but all cake problems can be solved by maeking the problem divide by (the problem - you & cake), which results in just you and cake. this is just like (5x7)/5 = 7. problem/(problem - you and cake) = you and cake. Simple.

The following is a neatly demonstrated example...

The Hypothetical Predicament:

How do I enjoyed delicious cæk?
Suggested Solutions About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


From The Peanut Gallery:

facepalm


Solutions in 3 Dimensions


The Hypothetical Predicament:

With such a number of overwhelming obstacles, how will you succeed?


The 3D Solution:

Solve it with the third dimension! Of course!


A Second Hypothetical Predicament:

Remember: You MUST eat it!


The 3D Solution:

OM NOM NOM NOM


Encyclopedia Dramatica Version

Special Encyclopedia Dramatica theme, with only a gun, hockey stick and big purple dildo. Add your solution if you end up completing it.
Teh solution to above problem

Women and Cake

Look at this woman, practically begging for you to judge and eat her delicious cake. But you had to go fuck this up by giving them the vote, instead of putting locks on your kitchen

Believe it or not, about 100 years ago, women by law, were expected to bake delicious cake for their men. And if said cake was anything short of fucking delicious... and I mean motherfucking delicious, it was common practice that she be told to return to the kitchen to bake at least a dozen more 'till the man was satisfied. If said woman was insulting enough to bake no less then said dozen cakes, buttsecks was required... no lube.

Did you know that...

Videos


Note that the fatty in the last video is doin' it wrong.

Quotes

   
 
First you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
 

 
 

—GLaDOS

   
 
But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
 

 
 

—GLaDOS

   
 
It's so delicious and moist...
 

 
 

—GLaDOS

   
 
The cake is a lie.
 

 
 

Doug Rattmann scribbling from Portal.

   
 
Let them eat cake.
 

 
 

Marie Antoinette Actually not true, as wikipedia proves [1].

Cake Galleries

Gallery of Problems and Solutions About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Gallery of Cake About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See Also

External Links

  • [2] - This guy is either a troll, or he seriously needs to lighten up and learn what Portal is.
  • DelicousCake.Wazdat.Com - this is a website dedicated to collecting the delicious cake of the internet, eat it, you must.
Delicious Cake
is part of a series on
Food and Drink

[BleurghOm Nom Nom]

Delicious Cake is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.


Featured article February 3rd and 4th, 2012
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Featured article May 26 & 27, 2012
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