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Devil May Cry
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Devil May Cry is a video game series by Crapcum in which you play as a demon/human half-breed named Dante, dressed up as a gay vampire. Considered a masterpiece, this series has spawned three sequels and one piece of shit reboot. It was the predecessor to Bayonetta, because after Hideki Kamiya realized how shitty working for Capcum really was, he started his own game company called Platinum Games. However, Capcom being the cool people that they are denied Kamiya the rights to his own game and sold his franchise to Ninja Theory, who trashed the series for the lulz.
Games
Devil May Cry - The game that started it all. Dante is sitting in his office being a prematurely-balding 20-something loser until a blonde slut crashes into his office on a motorcycle and trashes up his shit. Luckily he forgives the bitch who looks exactly like his mom since she wants him to go to a place called Mallet Island. He agrees to the idea thinking he will finally get laid. Little does he know she was crying wolf (no shit) and was sent to lure him into Mundus's clutches. Originally this game was going to be Resident Evil 4.
Devil May Cry 2 - everyone hated this game when it came out. Funny because it sold better than the reboot. Dante is super emo and silent in this game. He meets a ginger lesbian named Lucia, who he gets cockblocked and friendzoned by the entire game. She isn't even that hot. At least you can fly in this game.
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening - this game is everyone's favorite and considered the best in the franchise. You play as younger Dante, back when he was too cool for the internet and fucks up everything with his sword. His brother Vergil is in this game. A nerdy wannabe who just wants his brother Dante to stick it in while he steals his other half of his father's pendant.
Devil May Cry 4- Dante is in his early 30's in this game, even though he looks like one old motherfucker. Too bad you can't play him until after you have done all the levels with Nero, Vergil's emotional and edgy bastard child. After you beat all the bosses with Nero, Dante kills each one of them for the lulz like the complete troll he is.
DmC: Devil may Cry- We don't talk about this one.
Characters
- Dante - Our SSStylish hero is a gay vampire born from a human woman and a demon father named Sparda, not to be confused with Sparta. Had a magical girl transformation into Edward Cullen in the Reboot. He has a love of pizza, bitches and his own twin brother's sweet ass.
- Vergil aka Nelo Angelo - Dante's gay twin brother who sucks his twin brother's cock. They have gay sex all the time.
- Eva - Dante's demon-cocksucking human mom, or angel in the reboot.
- Sparda - hipster demon overlord who betrayed Mundus and fucked a human female without a condom.
- Mundus - king of demons who sends demons into the human world since he is butthurt Sparda got laid and he didn't.
- Lucia - ginger bitch from Devil May Cry 2 nobody gives a fuck about.
- Lady aka Mary - A young bitch with a huge ass rocket launcher titled Kalina Ann. She obviously has daddy issues as her father, Arkham obviously wants to fuck her. Went through puberty in Devil May Cry 4 and achieved huge titties. Finally.
- Arkham aka Jester - pedophile father of Lady. He's going to spank your butt and make you squeal like a pig boy.
- Trish - Trish is a clone of Dante's mom, and Dante wants to fuck her brains out at the end of the first game since he has an Oedipus Complex. She has lightning that comes out of her pussy.
- Nero - Nero is an emo Mary-Sue who whined his way into taking Dante's role as main character in DMC4. He's also Dante and Vergil's twincest butt spawn.
- Kyrie - Nero's annoying girlfriend who doesn't do jack shit.
Fandom
We all know Devil May Cry's fans kiss Hideki Kamiya's ass and think he is the Stan Lee of gaming, but he's not. Fans also include homosexual gaymers who try to be super edgy and goth like Dante. Devil May Cry fans also whine and bitch about the reboot constantly even though Capcom has already said they aren't continuing the reboot series anymore. Devil May Cry fans fanboy about how straight and masculine the series is even though all the fucking fangirls constantly make fan art of Dante fucking his twin brother Vergil and there's barely any straight Rule 34 of them anywhere. I mean this is a series with skimpily dressed, big tittied female side characters, what the actual fuck?
Although it is sad that Kamiya went baww over twitter because he misses having ownership over his own fucking character. At least he still has Bayonetta.
How To Troll Devil May Cry Fanboys
- Say the reboot, DmC: Devil may Cry is better than the originals.
- Call Dante a vampire.
- Say that the original series is never coming back.
See also
Video Links
Devil May Cry's fans want to fill eachother's buttholes with light and fuck clones of their mom. Faggots.
The first game in a nutshell.
Gallery
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Oh look, some rare fan-art of a female character.
External Links
Uncyclopedia: http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Devil_May_Cry
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Devil May Cry is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Devil May Cry is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |