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Neo-Kosmos
TestChamberStuck is a tumblr-bait Homestuck rip-off co-created by a Steven Universe staffer, and looking from xir pastel hair-dye, something like this seemed inevitable. It's filled with more cliches than any other thing seen this side of the universe, and generates large amounts of anti-lulz, killing many in the process.
A SU/HS fan or a SJW, dumb as they are, will invariably be blinded by Neo-kosmos' identical character art-style and/or shitty webcomic formatting, and enjoy the comic without consideration for anything else including how much faggotry they are radiating. Eventually, they'll wise up to it and do one of two things; if they're a Social Justice Wanker then they'll stick around for the pandering. If not, they'll realize how void of substance the comic is and how I-want-to-die-cringeworthy the pandering is and fuck off back to their Rule 34 of their other beloved trash (see: Steven Universe at your own risk, seriously, it's pretty fucking gross).
Story
For the longest time during this comic's starting phase, nothing was fucking happening. This is because the one difference between Neo-Kosmos's format and Homestuck's is that Neo-Kosmos emulates a storyboard, meaning that even the slightest change in events must be done in 3 panels. Thankfully they've managed to get their actual plot started however. Now this section of the article has a reason to exist, and we're closer to the time when this comic will end.
The comic takes place in the far future in an interstellar experimentation lab, after the Earth was destroyed by the cluster. The main character is a test subject named Tye who has 2 OL friends; Iris, and Z; whom she has never physically met, I wonder what they ripped this "plot point" from. Each test subject has their own lusus doctor. Z's is Dr. Axavi, Iris' is Dr. Qurti, and Tye has two doctors for some reason: Xaveria and Zehra.
The story starts going somewhere when pirates invade the facility because of, let's say, "Weird Plot Shit".
This weird plot shit opens the doors to all the test chambers and Tye is free to find a series of discoveries that fuck her up until she finds Xaveria. Shortly following is the appearance of Jack Noir Triss - one of the pirates, who's in love with "Red". Tye hides before Triss can notice her and Xaveria tries to reason with him - but is killed. Tye finds Z in her hiding spot and they connive to grave-rob Xaveria's corpse for the computer on her forehead, which these doctors all have.
The story transitions to a Derse-Dreaming schizo called "Seven". He; his doctor, "9"; and her doctor do weird shit that'll no doubt be relevant later.
The story goes back to the " " important characters who have teleported to a garden. Z proceeds to rant about how the doctors are all sociopathic Nazi scientists and about how you can TRUST NO ONE™; which is true not gonna lie.
After that, three other kids appear out of nowhere.
Remember reading that this webcomic was Tumblr-bait? Well gender has been made obsolete, Iris is a non-dysphoric MTF tranny, and pronouns are honorifics. Let that sink in.
Characters
The Sburb Beta Children
Tye - The main character. Her hobbies include scribbling and fan-girling over Die-Hard (Kind of like how John from Homestuck fan-boys over Con-air). Actually has ADHD.
Iris - Tye's senpai love interest and the load-bearing source of trans-pandering. While the comic will at least let you forget that he's "trans", the fandom won't, ATM he's on an interstellar field trip and won't be back for anywhere between months and years, rendering Tye's sexual fantasies unfeasible, leaving him to be a virgin who should become an hero.
Z - Tye's uke who took Computer Science III and as of now has no other character, but according to Tumblr's standards it's good enough. Her real name is "Cheese", but she goes by "Z" because "Cheese" is a stupid name to give to a human.
The Lusi
Dr. Xavier - One of the doctor assigned to Tye. He's supposed to be the uptight bossy one that never gets along with her. He's dead.
Dr. Zehra - Tye's other doctor. She's supposed to be the direct opposite of Xavier and gets along with Tye perfectly.
Dr. Qurti - Iris' doctor.
Dr. Axavi - Dave's Bro. Z's doctor. Total piece of shit by Z's account.
Peridot - Is not actually Peridot, just has her hair. A lusus in charge of making human seers.
The Dersites
Triss - The amputee pirate that kills Xavier.
Scree - Ant person that carves crop-circles into the ground, because she's an alien.
Red - Triss' lover. Curses a lot.
The Felt
The Sburb Alpha Children
Squid - Why do these children all have stupid names like this?
Twigs - No, seriously. This is an honest question?
Mars - Who the hell hated these children to the point of giving them names like these? What did they ever do?
York, Tulip, Cloudy, Brains, Kazoo, Peach, Froggy, and others - And who the hell are these douchebags?
Negrococksuck
Did you know that on April Fools Day, 2016; they upd8ed with something called "Neo-KosmoStuck"?
TYETYE - xXx Tye's trollsona xXx, THE pAGE OF bREATH, LIKE tAVROS, WHICH KINDA SUMS UP EVERYTHING, DOESN'T IT,
ZEEEEE - Z's trollzona, the 2ollux fangiirl.
YIVRIS - I-I-Iris' trollsona.
ZEHRAVERIASPRITE - Zehra and Xavier in a sprite.
- They all died Just deaths at the hands of L
rd English.
See Also
- Steven Universe - The only reason this comic has followers.
- Homestuck - Is to Neo-Kosmos what Megaman is to Mighty No. 9.
External Links
- The Webcomic
- The Tumblr
- The Reddit
- The Twitter
- The Patreon - If you donate, you can view spoilers of the comic and then leak them all like a jew.
- 4Chan Thread 83743555
- 4Chan Thread 85078685
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Neo-Kosmos is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |