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Wookieepedia
Wookieepedia claims to be a Star Wars Wikia for canon information. It is so horrendously and geekily named that anything harboring a vagina will instantly burst into flames upon reading it. It is in fact secretly a parody site run by people who hate Star Wars and want to destroy it by replacing everything canon with non-canon information. Editors to the site replace everything from official movies and official games that most people have actually experienced with things from self-published Star Wars comics and books that no one has ever read. The official language of the site is galactic basic standard.
The worthless editors behind it
Apart from Jimbo Wales and the other usual TOW people who just profit from these nerds' hard work, you will find:
- Adamwankenobi - Admitted pedo and former Wikipedia troll.
- AdmirableAckbar - Is an actual vandal who due to being butt-buddy to sysop Darth Cristopher "The Kip" Keim Culator, got rollback status. User never actually talks, just reverts -- boasts 2,000 edits on the site, but every one a revert. As stated on userpage, the user is a 15 year old boy.
- Darth Culator (Cristopher "The Kip" Keim), the fat Dark Accountant of the Sith. He states on his userpage he keeps his monitor resolution at 1600 x 1200, but he actually only has a 14 inch monitor and from this his eyes have become so nearsighted he never leaves his parent's basement even though he is 26 years old.
- I need a name -- troll and vandal. Runs a bot that reverts any edit to user or talk page if it doesn't include an imitation of Jar Jar Banks and then the bot reverts every edit that user has made in less than a second.
- Jack Nebulax, LOL fired (probably committed suicide after this. RIP motherfucker)
- Jack Phoenix, the Jack-off all trades.
- Kuralyov (Eddie Guimont), president of Proletaria and
admin of the sitePWNED. - LtNOWIS is better known on AIM as simon23p, who is an infamous boylover and member of NAMBLA.
- Sikon the uncyclopedian, ED hater, Ubuntu enthusiast and Firefox lover, who has committed wikicide due to racial discrimination
- QuentinGeorge, a sadistic, spiteful Austrhole (that is, an Australian asshole.) He tells people to commit suicide just to warm his black little heart. A rebellion is in motion to overthrow this sithy fuckface. Constantly at war with the Freedum Fiter Vandle.
- Redemption is the shop master of the site, and adds non-canon content all over the place, and reverts anything that actually is canon; is one of the biggest dicks on the wiki.
- Naru Hina is the douchebaggy admin who controls the KotOR section. He's a sixteen year old who thinks he can boss everyone else around just because he's an admin.
- Riffsyphon1024 (Steven Greenwood), aspiring geologist and WB's sockpuppet, asslicker, et al
- SFH is the current underage boyfriend of Silly Dan. Does quite literally nothing aside from applying welcome templates to the talk pages of new vandals and the occasional Ewok. Mistakenly assumed by many to be a bot for this reason.
- Silly Dan (Dan MacQueen), Scottish, nerdy, PhD student of physics. He is also a pederast. On his LiveJournal account, he rants about how "all the Star Wars movies and games suck and the self-published comics that nobody reads are better."
- StarNeptune (Jennie Cooper), aspergian streetwalker, avid fan of Final Fantasy and Hapan stuff.
- Thefourdotelipsis is a sysop who has had sexual relations with several of the underage boys on the site (especially Valin "Tnu" Shido). If you see an editor who is an asshole and the admins allow it, you can guarantee it's allowed because this guy got to sleep with him.
- WhiteBoy (Chad Barbry), the White Supremacist founder of the site. He is also a KKK member IRL, seriously. He does no work on the site, gave the first ten people who stumbled on it full administrator access, and never came back.
All of these real names and e-mails they freely give out on the web and don't mind anyone knowing, except, of course they don't like them put on their wiki where they go batshit.
More stuff: Actual sysops
Description
Wookieepedia is the older bastard sister of the Star Wars Fanon Wiki. Preferred activities of Wookieepedia users:
- Learn something considered to be unnatural (1%)
- Bash SuperShadow (14%)
- Jack off to Leia Organa or Bastila Shan - Not photos of Leia or pictures in-game of Bastila Shan, but crudely drawn art of them made for self-published comics nobody has read. (85%)
Wookieepedia was born thanks to the phenomenon known as "Lucascruft Purge" (many Wikipedians started to go rogue and frenziedly deleted everything concerning the Star Wars universe on Wikipedia while blocking those who contributed to Star Wars-related stuff).
As the name suggests, the site is populated by Wookiees and furry people in general.
Wookiees are quite stubborn when it comes to replacing non-canon facts with canon facts: an editor will be banned for good if they post something that has any affiliation with that guy called SuperShadow, and will get a nice template with a white haired sexy chick, telling you that you have been "exiled". Sometimes a bureaucratic fuck will tell the user to go screw the Star Wars Wiki of fanon invention, where shit is accepted. The very same shit, if written on this wiki, will earn you a long ban. However, some fanon manages to slip in and stick for a while before some girl with Asperger's syndrome removes it.
Official shit which is approved by their supreme god will stick, no matter the crappiness of it.
Articles
Given the vast wealth of shit with the Star Wars name on it released by George Lucas over the years, and the vast Aspergian hordes that roam the wilds of the Internet, it should come as no surprise to learn that Wookieepedia has no shortage of articles about shit nobody gives a Neimoidian's ballsack about. Because of this, and because of the completely poe-faced, srs bsns tone of Wookieepedia when dealing with such inconsequential, worthless fucking bullshit, these articles are some of the most unintentionally funny reading on the entire wiki. It's a perfect storm of a massive, all-encompassing franchise colliding head-first with a section of society for whom there is no such thing as notability.
To a logical mind, it's clear that Star Wars has a lot of weird, sci-fi shit in it which might need to be explained and quantified because people don't know what that shit is.
But why the fuck would anybody need or care to know about some of this mundane, inconsequential, everyday shit?
- Duck - Hey guys, did you know that, in Star Wars, there are strange, webbed-toed, winged creatures? They're called ducks! And that these ducks are basically exactly the same as the ducks we have on our world in real life IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!
- Chair - Hey guys, in Star Wars, there are things called chairs, which are usually made of wood or plastic, designed for sitting on IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!
- Curtains - People sometimes use bits of fabric to cover windows and, sometimes, doorways. These are often brightly colored or decorated and are drawn to obscure the light of the sun... Or possibly suns, if they're IN SPAAAAAAAACE!!!
- Fish tank - If you have an interest in keeping animals that live in water as pets, you might not be aware that you can keep them in a transparent container full of water. Or not, if you happen to be a random off-duty Imperial guard who hates fishes because you're IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!
- Breasts - Actually, this is quite an important, useful page as your average Wookieepedian has never actually seen a real life breast, IN SPAAAAACE or otherwise.
There are also a lot of really long, unnecessarily detailed pages, dedicated to the backstories of background characters played by disinterested extras, remembered only by the most hardcore of permavirgin Star Wars fans. This is due, in large part, to George Lucas' debilitating brain disease that he has had since around 1999 or so, when the fat, blubbery-necked old sellout made some statement about how Star Wars as a setting is so dedicated to selling toys to friendless autistic manchildren expansive and epic in scale, that every character in the movies, no matter how small, has an official George Lucas approved backstory and overpriced merchandise. It's so dense, every single frame has so many things going on.
Because of this, the Wookieepedians have been diligent in compiling exhaustive, thoroughly in-depth articles about all your favorite Star Wars characters, like...
- Davin Felth - That one Stormtrooper who says "Look sir, droids."
- Willrow Hood - The nigger that runs past the camera carrying an ice cream maker in Empire Strikes Back.
- Tey How - The 'What's Wrong With Your Face' Lady
- Gragra - Some fat bitch who ran a market stall and yelled at Jar Jar Binks.
- Elan Sleazebaggano - A drugdealer who, surprisingly, given his name, is of dubious reputation.
- Grebleips - E.T. (powerword: Grebleips)
- Max Rebo - That blue elephant from Return of the Jedi that plays piano. Bet you didn't know he has a tragic backstory.
- Jorg Sacul - Original character do not steal.
- J.K. Burtola - That lisping little faggot kid from Episode II that everybody hated and who was obviously the son of one of the producers.
- Unidentified Rodian with jacket - HE AM VERY IMPORTANT CHARACTER TO STAR WARS
And then, of course, there are the Wookieepedia articles that are either just fucking around, or conclusive proof that George Lucas' brain is totally, irrecoverably broken...
Trolling methods
Every so often a user gets really mad at the site because any complaints about their abusive people gets blanked and ignored so the user will hit the "random article" button and replace articles with their complaint. If the person is mad enough, they will do googling and find the all the sysop's power word: IRL names and paste them along with it. That means the sysops have to manually delete an article and restore the revision without the power words. The fun happens when someone goes to Special:Mostrevisions and does it to the articles with several thousand revisions. When an article has thousands of revisions, it takes sysops hours to delete and restore a revision. For instance, this bit of power word exposure still remains in history. This is because nobody on Wookieepedia has Oversight. The way to troll is, of course, dig in recent changes for an editor who recently got mad at Wookiepedia and turned vandal, and then imitate that editor for weeks to come. Doing this assures them that they know that their site isn't just vandalized by people who are bored, but by people who truly wish to murder them IRL.
Another fun way to troll is get them to blocking entire IP ranges or even whole countries for long periods of time by copycatting other vandals and by simply showing them they failed to keep you from editing. If a group of people get together and pretend to be the same person, they can get Wookieepedia to ban the entire world from editing.
Typical shit
This is a typical day of how their administrators are 24/7/365.
In one instance, someone made a forum thread saying their administrators secretly hated Star Wars and so that person hated them, too, and it had no attempt to advertise any other site and no links or anything even resembling URLs, just a criticism of their wiki and the administrators (this time Cull Tremayne) instantly use a lie as the deletion reason falsely claiming it was "spam". [1] The dial-up IP address that made the forum is also blocked 1 week by Gonk for "spamming to external sites".[2]
The IP disconnects and reconnects his modem in 1 minute and an admin Greyman blocks the dialup IP for six months [3]. Then a dude called Graestan blocks the next IP forever [4] and the IP changes it again and dude Graestan bans the IP address again [5]. And all this time they don't seem to figure out that a simple redialing changes the IP forever.
For those that HAVE TO use broadband, they go on an open proxy to get around a block. That should go without saying. And using an identical username may tend to antagonize them more but it shows them that the vandal is a lot tougher than you want him to be! He uses Gluupwhore's counter-forcefielding technology to walk right through the "force-fields" (called blocks in slang parlance.)
Wookiedrama
Kuralyov (Eddie Guimont) is a worthless administrator of this siteLOL DENIED and full time president of an unknown nation named Proletaria. He is also an avid fan of "Pokey the Penguin" and Battlestar Galactica and is a proud member of the Proletarian Democratic Union. Kuralyov has more edits than this jew and shares similar views on how other editors should be treated. He is a sworn enemy of the Wook's bosses and of the mods at TheForce.net.
Kuralyov is extremely jealous of his work. If you fuck with him, he might block your IP address at the application level for "". He also contributes to maintain the site in a neutral stance and strictly observes the Jimbo Philosophy "Assume Bad Faith" towards n00bz. Kura is a fierce revert warrior and regularly breaks the 3RR.
In May 2008 he went batshit insane "BEEBLE BEEBLE BEEBLE" and committed wikicide after threats of de-sysoping his account.[6]
Related lulz
External links
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