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Vegan Rebuttal
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This page relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes. |
Many people of today's culture (mainly the rich nations where food is plenty and there's nothing else to do but bitch) are concerned with what type of food they eat. Some of these people see a cow with shooped tears and decide they won't eat meat. These people are called vegetarians. Then there are those who refuse to eat anything that comes from an animal. These people are called vegans. Both groups are extremely lulzy yet at the same time regurgitating a shitload of lies and manipulation. Similar to another group one reads about, amirite? Below is a simple conviction against said people, and what you, the informed viewer, can do to help.
NOTE: Since vegans use serious fucking logic to try and prevent the animal holocaust, the rebuttals here also try to use serious fucking logic. In extreme cases however simply pointing and laughing will do.
Introduction
It seems vegans put up a decent argument at first. They're butthurt over their love for animals and how we're supposed to eat them, and as long as they're not trying to force anyone else into their cult, all is well in the world, right? But they are, sadly enough. Therefore it is up to you, the intelligent meatatarian that you are, to diffuse these guilt-ridden claims by the weak minded. Strong arguments (all of which are completely factual) are stated below.
Copypasta of Justice
The "Suffering" Argument:
- Just because apples and wheat don't scream when you cut them doesn't mean they don't feel pain. In fact, many studies show fruit and vegetables can still feel pain a few moments after they are cut, and can, in essence, be eaten alive. If there are groups for people "against" animal cruelty, why are they therefore not for the cruelty of trees and plants? Too bad a tree cannot cry.
- In fact, vegetarians and vegans do end up killing small animals, although it is not for the purpose of eating. Many small animals - shrews, gophers, rabbits, even foxes are known to have been "swallowed up" by steel reapers and grain threshers, farm equipment which is required for a large vegan population. Therefore, is killing a mouse more ethical than killing, say, a pig? At least we meat eaters and omnivores use the bodies of animals for the benefit of another person or animal - killing animals the vegan way involve many slices and a very crude, torturous death.
- http://oregonstate.edu/dept/ncs/newsarch/2002/Mar02/vegan.htm
- http://oregonstate.edu/dept/ncs/newsarch/2002/Apr02/davis.htm
- http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=97836&page=1
- Closely related to the vegetarian and vegan causes are the organizations PETA, ALF (Animal Liberation Front), and ELF (Earth Liberation Front). All three organizations have had documented cases in which the said organization has killed human lives for the "protection" of animals or funded such a killing. One such organization, the ALF, is recognized as the most threatening domestic terrorist organization as documented by the FBI. And, as a further note, it is a documented fact that PETA has actually killed more animals than it saved. The only difference is they killed these animals "ethically" - like prisoners in a concentration camp, they euthanize or suffocate them and then cremate or dump their victims.
- Vegetarians insist that the use of animals as food is wrong because many of the animals we eat are intelligent. But studies show that many species of plants are intelligent; Anticipating and avoiding obstacles, releasing pheromones to ward off predators and are capable of communicating with each other as well as listening, talking, seeing, and feeling, all senses for which most people think only animals have.
- http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/22/science/22angi.html?ref=science&_r=0
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/10/veggie_intelligence
The "Design of the Human Body" Argument:
- The human teeth and digestive structure is designed for eating vegetables and meat.
- It is possible (though not particularly desireable, like veganism) to live on a meat-only diet as the Inuits once did. They avoided scurvy because whale skin is rich in vitamin C. Since creating a fire is a kind of stupid thing to do if you live on ice they would often eat it raw or semi-raw.
- Vitamin B12 which is vital for brain development is found only in meat and animal products - which may explain why vegans are so retarded.
The "Eating Meat is Evil" Argument:
- For those centered around a religion, all main religions support the digestion of meat in one way or another. Some religious PETAfags will say Hinduism/Buddhism/Native-American bullshit religions worshipped animals and/or were vegetarians. While this is true they are not vegetarians because they animals are so wonderful, they do it because animals work for them - cows give them milk and shit to grow food in, which PETAfags consider a form of slavery.
The "Animals are Smarter than Some People" Argument:
- Animals are more important than people because they can suffer / act morally / plan ahead while human babies and the retarded can't. If this is the case then it's OK to eat stupid animals such as sheep and cows - which most people do despite all the sad pictures of crying lambs.
The "Food is Running Out" Argument:
- The world is not short on food. While people in third world countries are dying of starvation, people in developed countries are dying of obesity-related illnesses.
- Taking pills and supplements for nutrients is unnatural and can decrease the body's immune system, faggot, and not eating meat can make a person susceptible to a host of other diseases.
- Even organic fruits and vegetables aren't as good as one given a chemical shower. Since the introduction of chemicals in farming cancer rates have dropped by 15%. Stomach cancer alone has dropped by 50-60%.
Conviction and Mission Statement
The above Three Points of Justice are left in raw format because they are intended for repost (hence copypasta title, amirite?). Generally, they may be posted anywhere vegans convene, especially forums, YouTube, your mom's house, wherever. It is the purpose of the enlightened to inform a misguided and often misinformed public about the deadly practices of veganism. Good soldier, it is your duty to spread the word.
Vegan Response
Vegans, when cornered, will often deny all facts. After all, a tree can't cry, and no one really cares about small animals. And if ALF has to kill people, why not? To these morons, they are a lost cause. Epic win can be had, however, by backing up your claims with more proof and accurate documentation and watching the argument decompensate into a name-calling feud, which will only make you look like the heroic good guy. Those who are silent or who go "hmmm" are the ones you want and the ones who are fresh for conversion back into the humane way of eating (literally). These people are often more receptive and, if paired with a moron (stated above), more times than not they will agree with you more and the moron less.
Be forewarned, however. Vegans and PETAssholes have made it very difficult to find good, accurate articles on these aforementioned truths. They do exist, but a common google search will yield at least 100 pro-PETA articles (many sponsored by PETA) before you can reach the true facts.
Final Note
Finally, always play the ethical good guy. After all, there are some points to be made about stuff like fox hunting and Mexican butcher shops commonly used in PETA recruitment ads. But only some points. It sucks, but just like Chanology, if we don't present the facts in a just fashion, no one will listen. But they will listen, because we will open their minds to the truth, and they will see.
Videos of Justice
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See Also
External Links
- Killing your children to save the animals is awesome! Notice how they are talking about the environmental effects of meat, and not their effects on child health.
- Children are supposed to eat meat, who knew?
