Salmon

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Salmon is a fat weeaboo.

This is a capital offense as it is, but it gets worse. She has a tendency to be a stereotypical woman and screech out everything that she says.

She sees herself as the world's best cosplayer with many KAWAII DASU DASU awesome friends. Everyone hates her.

She is known for playing SUPER COOL VIDEO GAMES several years after their release. Games she only just found in 2010 include Phoenix Wright, The World Ends With You and Portal, proving that her house just a very well-decorated boulder.

The world is waiting for Salmon to stop being Tsundere for Techa and elope to make a horrible love child.

It considers itself to be a super kawaii otaku, i.e. stupid weeaboo. It also thinks it has major power with AVCon and various other wapanese gatherings, while in reality it latches on to everything, sucking cock and vagina until it is made to believe that it is allowed to make decisions.

She is power hungry, sex hungry, and just plain hungry.

Her facebook name is "Salmon Masamune Hime". Hime, being a japanese honorific for "princess" does not even deserve to be mentioned. "Masamune" means "big boobs", but as we all know, big boobs don't count if you're fat as shit.

Salmon's deeds and misdeeds

She got naked at an 18th birthday after 2 shots of vodka and decided to masturbate on both of the couches and tried to seduce a gay boy.

She made a then-boyfriend have sex with her while she had her period. Which is absolutely disgusting.

At AVCon 2008 she had roller blades on her cosplay, and when she went on the stage for the comp, she fell, and no one helped her up.

She failed year 12 epically and is doing stupidly easy subjects in year 13. Of course, Japanese is one of them.

One day in town, she was cosplaying as a shirtless guy. The solution? SHE TAPED DUCT TAPE OVER HER NIPPLES AND RAN AROUND TOPLESS.

Salmon's popularity

Oh Salmon. Oh So Popular.

Salmon likes to live under the impression that she's one of the most popular beings alive, this is evident with her constant need to go onto Weeaboo Facebook groups and try to organise a 'meet'. Though of course at the time everyone agrees this would be a fun idea, until they notice the person organising it is Salmon, so to save their ear drums (And mental wellbeing) they all privately organise their own meetup, and Salmon is left with no one. Salmon in a huff, after just being rejected by numbers of people, posts angrily on Facebook, but really, who's reading the statuses without laughing. Honestly.

The ACA

The Adelaide Cosplayers Association. Oh god, what a fail.

She claims to have started it, and got so angry that people thought otherwise.

	“	I AM PAYING FOR EVERYTHING I AM PAYING TO MAKE US AN ORGANISATION AND NO ONE APPRECIATES ANYTHING	„
	—Salmon

She forced an election for leadership, but with her ranting and raving for power and the position of leader, nobody actually voted for her. The new leader was decided. The lovely fellow who tried to rape her, and her boyfriend to be.

After a lot of subsequent fighting, the group turned on itself and dissolved.

Salmon on Youtube

This video is considered the hardest you rage you lose vid of all time. The reason /cgl/ hates her.

Salmon's relationships

Salmon the pedo. Nobody is safe from her vagina

Salmons love life is a tale of tragedy, debauchery and desperation. The first noted relationship she was in, was with a strapping young lad named Sam, who without much warning at all, apparently tried to rape her, and threatened to kill her if she told anyone (Note: Salmon does not want rape. Meaning rape her. Mercilessly.) The flaw in her I'M A VICTIM scheme, was her aggression, which drove numerous people away from her, and ended up with her being labeled a bitch as she flailed around in MSN chat history.

The next account of her sexual ways is when an innocent blonde named Ino, was trying to enjoy herself at a party, when the sexual predator known as Salmon comes waltzing over, and begins hitting on her without any signs of stopping, so Ino in self defence, slaps her to the ground, which results in Salmon crying in a corner for the rest of the night (You go Ino. You go girl...)

The next account of her debauchery is when she approached someone (Let's call her Bob) who was well known as being in a relationship. Salmon asked out Bob out, and when Bob stated "I'm in a relationship!", Salmon replied with "I'm happy to be your secret mistress" which had an unfavourable response (She got shot down hard)

Salmon has also been known to ask out innocent 14 year olds, secret love interest in Justin Bieber? I think so.

Salmon has also been known to date men up to 6 years her senior, so men and women out there, hide your genitals, Salmon is not afraid to go for the junk of someone 6 years younger or older than her at any given period of time. No one is sacred.

Salmon has also been known to ask people out in any scenario, whether it's at a party, or in front of a large group of friends, which was the case earlier in 2010 when Salmon approached a guy WAY out of her league and asked him out in front of all of his friends, which the unanimous response was laughter. Salmon sure can take a beating in relationships but has she ever tried being asexual? I think the human race can only hope she takes that path.

After going without any sex for a year, she started to get desperate. And we mean more desperate than she already is/was. Is this even possible without breaking some law of physics? Apparently so. So desperate that she had sex with one of her Ex-Boyfriends that had been up until then happily in a relationship for close to a year. In exchange for her keeping quiet about it, he had to be nice and only speak well of her (Which is nigh impossible but he somehow managed it). When she found out about her ED page, needless to say, she wasn’t happy. And some of the things that were written here happened with the same guy, so naturally, like the mad retarded cow she is, she blamed him for it, and told his Girlfriend about it, hoping to cause them to break up (As this is probably the best “Revenge” she could think of). Much to her disappointment, this backfired on her in a big way. The Girlfriend decided to take the approach of “Hate the sin, not the sinner” and let’s face it, “Thou Shall Not Salmon” should have been a commandment.