Grass City

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Grass City is a forum run by a bunch of hypocritical Euro-trash pot heads who love their banhammerz. The site is populated by over 9000 retarded stoners too high on drugs to type out any coherent sentences. Despite their registration policy that doesn't allow persons under the age of 18 to join, most of the > 100,000 posters on the site are well under the age of 18 and still live in their parents' basement. An even larger percentage of their population consist of wiggers and gangsta niggers. The rest are a sprinkled assortment of failed hippies and europeans.

The Dutch Nazi

the type of ban you get when you post Hans' phone number

The owner of the site, Hans Oei, doesn't like it when people question his authority. He also doesn't like it when people post his personal info on his website, whereas it's free to find elsewhere. What's astounding about this guy is that he's from Holland. Holland, the most peaceful lulz-appreciative country in the world. Yet, somehow they managed to produce the largest Nazi since Hitler went the way of the An Hero. The rules of the site are so extensive that tax lawyers cry at the sight of them. He also added a rule lately that is essentially declaring martial law.

Da mein Her, kill the Joos?

	“	I will be updating the rules at some point today. One addition is that speaking of the moderating actions of the Admins, Super Mods and Mods will not be tolerated within the forums.	„
	—ReformMaryJaneLaws

Get ready for the LOLocaust.

War with Troll Kingdom

screencap of Conchaga's opening statement

On 2 August, 2008, Conchaga declared war on the stoners with this message:

Most of you are giant crybabies who don't like it when people call other people names.

"Increase the peace" most of you say?

How about, increase the conformity?

Rhythm of Life gonemadwithmary IglooBuds

Go smoke some pole, you whiny, hypocritical pricks.

Oh no! Someone who breaks laws and smokes illegal substances said a dirty word toward someone!

For a site that tries to increase knowledge about smoking marijuana, it's mostly a lot of literal smoke blowing.

Here's my synopsis of who posts on this site.

1. You live with your parents and are either still in high school; or have a GED, but work in fast food... and still live with your parents.

2. You don't live with your parents but you still work in fast food.

3. You're a juggalo and think it's "cool" to smoke pot. (here's a hint, ICP sucks, go listen to some good music and stop trying to be on Jackass.)

4. You're a really whacked-out rastafarian wannabe *cough*pedantrix420*cough*, but you just don't understand that Marley wasn't a real prophet. He was simply a good musician with an opinion, just like everyone else.

5. You live in the EU. You guys are cool. I don't have a problem with most of you. This rant is aimed at most of the Americans here at the City.

6. You're a long-time smoking "veteran" but you can't understand that your "hobby" is really an "addiction" and this site is "enabling" you.

7. It's 2008, but you still think it's 1968.

Now, given the weakness of most of the above personae - that I've so succinctly described - how the FUCK do you people expect to increase knowledge about smoking marijuana!?

By sitting in your parent's house/dorm room hoping that you don't get caught?

Flipping burgers at Dick Monalds?

Listening to a rap group where the memebers have the names like "Shaggy" and "Dope" (sounds like a bad Scooby Doo episode, if you ask me), and posting your backyard wrestling vids on youtube?

Expecting the "evil" corporations to just roll over and admit that money is bad and a self-sustaining economy isn't really worth it?

Hoping that Jah will convince the "white devil" to turn over the keys of civilization?

If you adhere to any of the above statements, you're all more stoned than I thought.

Grass City an hero lulzfest!

Get off your couchlocked asses and start making headway.

No wonder the government doesn't take pot smokers seriously. If I were a lawmaker, I'd take one look at this site and I'd try to keep weed illegal for the rest of my life.

Mods/admins, if you believe in the REAL message of your site, you won't delete this thread. I just want people to read this and try to face the reality of who they are and who they should be.

If you can't be honest with yourself, who CAN you be honest with?

If you people want to respond, feel free to find me at [www.trollkingdom.com].

You'll find a discussion about your board -> here

You won't be sanctioned or whined at for speaking your mind there.

If any of you feel the need to PM me your response, you need to know that I will post that response here for the edification of the rest of the posters. That includes negrep messages.

OK, I'm done. Feel free to flame your little hearts out.

The Response

The denizens of the city went insane. Within an hour, the thread had 14 pages of shitheads trying to defeat trolls in an argument. A mod closed the thread, and victory was declared in the planning thread at TK.

After the thread was closed, and later deleted, the now blossoming troll population spread out across the board, making many new friends. The trolls were polite, contributing members of the community, but were greeted with nothing but batshit-insane, hypocritical, idiotic attacks and threats of calling down the fury of anon. Too bad that tard didn't remember that /b/'s not his personal army.

Eventually, the incredibly stoned admins got around to banning the trolls. Too bad they didn't ban their IPs. It took the admins days to realize that there was such a function as IP banning, but they didn't take proxifying into account.

An Heroism Strikes

Proving that even happy stoners and hippies aren't immune to being subjected to an heroes, a family member of the Grass City poster MihoSayuri took his own life. After having caused much butthurt to his family, he finally decided to follow in the an heroism fashion of quitting while he was ahead. Seeing her brother's death as her golden opportunity for e-popularity, the poster MihoSayuri immediately started whoring for attention by starting a thread crying for halp. What she had forgotten was that she had bawwww'd at her butthurt from her incestuous late brother only three weeks before he offed himself. Someone picked-up on her hatred and threw it back in her attention whoring face. The result was a girl caught between her hatred of her dead brother and her unending desire to be e-popular. What was even more cosmically funny is that the guy only died because he screwed up his cry for halp suicide attempt and skipped straight to the final solution suicide attempt.