Book

Books are dead trees you stare at for TL;DR information, they are glued together with dead horses covered in squid juice. Nothing of interest or any true value has ever been written or depicted in a book—and it would already be available as an e-book via internet magic. But before the internet was possible, when technology lye slumber to consume, every man, woman and child would have to write their wettest dreams through the medium of books. Only up to the late 1990s would this fad die out, for the possibilities of the web made it irresistible to just spread it as posts through social media; you get bigger likes and da follow numbers this way. Historically, books are an extremely old printed medium, and are responsible for the creation of religion, role-playing, and most of the slashfic that exist—which is why they should be destroyed and burned at all costs.

Bring this to World Book Day.

Some books are fucking crap.

The creation of the internet completely converted everybody into not giving a shit about books. Some nostalgic nerds have tried bringing them back by writing books about the internets such as Otherland, but lazy Americunts don't want to waste their energy turning pages. Scientists speculate that many years ago, books contained some importance to people, possibly having some informational value. It is unknown whether or not this will be proven true or false.

Books as a source of lulz

Now availiable on Amazon!

• Hitler and his fanclub like burning books, which creates much drama amongst whiners.
• Revealing spoilers to a book's rabid fans is good for a lul or two.
• Paladin-Press books are practically lulz manuals.
• Dr Seuss is a wonderfully racist children's author and illustrator. Using his illustrations can piss off both sides of the political spectrum!
• British prime minister, David Cameron, attempted to make books popular with today's youth by saying that, if he thinks something is cool, he'll say, "That is so book!" The reason for this is, apparently, because 'cool' filters to 'book' automatically when somebody is using the predictive text feature on a cell phone. As can be expected, this failed miserably.
• The Bible and the Koran are both books. If that's not a huge recipe for drama, I don't know what is.
• Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow was unanimously agreed upon by the Pulitzer Prize jury to win the 1974 prize because it was, essentially, the precursor to modern-day hentai. The board members of the Pulitzer Prize did not understand the lulz however, and furiously rejected the masterpiece, describing it as "obscene" and "unreadable". In the end, no Pulitzer Prize was awarded for 1974.

Gallery

TL;DR About missing Pics

• 
• 
• 
  Sasha Grey knows quality literature
• 
• 
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  They don't make books like this anymore.
• 
  Or this.
• 
  For obvious reasons.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Books are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Dramatica's Library®

Here are a few tasters, just for you:

• 
  1984 – George Orwell
• 
  TM 31-210 Improvised Munitions Handbook – Government & Friends
• 
  The Well-Cultured Anonymous – Anon
• 
  Mein Kampf – Adolf Hitler
• 
  The Anarchist Cookbook – William Powell
• 
  Necronomicon – H.P. Lovecraft
• 
  Industrial Society and Its Future - Ted Kaczynski
• 
  Playboy – Hugh Hefner
• 
  The Turner Diaries – William Luther Pierce

See also

Good riddance!

You heard them

• Read a book
• Do You Want To Play With My Balls
• Fantasy
• Fan fiction
• Book piracy
• Necronomicon
• Deus Ex Machina
• Bible
• RTFM
• Science Fiction
• TL;DR
• Public Library