Amazon

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Founded in 1984 by Amazonian faggot Jeff Bezos, Amazon.com is one of the Internets' shittiest stores. They sell everything from books to butt plugs. Amazon.com allows you to buy stuff with one click.

Unfortunately, there are no semi-nude amazons on this site.

It is where all 16 year old girls post their wishlists in order to facilitate people who want to buy them all the random crap they want when they show their tits. It's also popular with people like this, who form a circle jerk with their pals and write glowing reviews of their own work.

The name of the site is a reference to Bezos's penchant for women who stand over twelve feet tall, dress in leopard skins (made from leopards approximately ten feet long), bear one tit each and brandish clubs.

Amazon's user reviews

Amazon allows registered customers who buy their shit to review their products. This was helpful until people like Gary Weiss decided to go out and make cavalcades of sock puppets to bash all of their competitors and praise themselves.

Amazon reviews are a popular tool for trolling. Posting fake reviews that bash items people like and praise things that people hate causes a lot of butthurt and lulz. If amazon catches you doing bogus reviews twice, they fuck up all of your revies... they have wikipedia fake, censored "encyclopedia" dumbass style of thinking... You can have 2000 good reviews vs may be, may be 2 bad ones but when they dont like you, they just cut off your private parts...

Also, Amazon can never get a fucking order right. You order a book and they send you a chair - seriously, WTF!?!

Wolf shirts

Each article is custom cumstained

Trouble finding a girlfriend? Buy yourself a fucking wolf shirt. Ever since ebaum scientifically proved the effect of these beautiful shirts, you can now have sex with at least two ladies who are not furries. Other wolf-moon shirts possess different powers of attraction: 2-wolves, 1 moon, 1-wolf moon and 3 wolves, 2 moons. Spend your fucking cash here. DO IT FAGGOT

eBay Amazon Warz

At the end of January 2007, eBay fucked all of their loyal sellers and Amazon now looks more appealing in comparison because it offers free buttsecks whenever you sell something over $100. Amazon also doesn't force its sellers to use PayPal, who will steal your money and hold it hostage for your social security number, which they'll sell to Mexicans.

Shit for Sale

Real items, moar lulz! About missing Pics

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  On Amazon, you can find amazingly cheap prices for new items.
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  You can also find amazingly cheap prices for used items as well. As Suikoden II is the rarest Playstation game, ten million is a steal.
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  Buy used condoms - only $6
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  This could be yours :o

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  Huge Fucking Dicks and Tits
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  Simply a Whore.
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  Oh, those silly black women!
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  "Bukakke" uhm...
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  Carmen Luvana Pussy & Ass
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  Cock Lovin' Oriental Sluts
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  Big & Natural Tits
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  Adulterous wives
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  All Girl Sex
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  Sorority Chicks
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  Lolicon? On my Amazon?
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See Also

• Alexa
• Amazon Kindle
• Amazon Disaster
• Amazon Wish List
• Big Data
• Dave Eggers
• Weev
• Wolf

External Links

• Do you really need a link to figure out how to get here?

OMG: Amazon Gay-Banning Scandal

• Faux News
• Bloggy bit of Forbes
• PC World
• Wall Street Journal
• Uranium Ore for the terrorists

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