Castration

Castration is the removal of the testes from a male organism. Side effects include de-masculinization, mental retardation, Troll's Remorse, decreased libido, and improved flavor.

Why Castration?

Livestock are frequently castrated to keep furries from sneaking onto the farm to have their anuses destroyed by bullpenis.
Pedophiles may be castrated to keep them from raping children. But that would stop the lulz.
Transsexuals may decide to be castrated to cease production of androgens. However, this makes it impossible to sustain an erection, so doing this too early greatly decreases the amount of money one can make by whoring oneself out on Craigslist to afford sex reassignment surgery.
Emos psychosomatically castrate themselves through music and poetry.
Singing little boys may be castrated, supposedly to retain their pre-pubescent singing voice, but obviously to retain their youthful figure. The pedophiles won't like that.
Feminists routinely castrate any man they can get their harpy-hands on. They do not do it for the lulz.
Furfags should be castrated for the good of all mankind.
Hitler castrated Jews and retards for the lulz and the good of all mankind.

Vasectomy

A Vasectomy is a method of birth control that involves a simple operation that severs the sperm duct, that causes the patient to be sterile. In other words, a vasectomy is your best defense against babies and the dreaded cock-trappers. It can save you from forced marriage, drama, legal action, trips to the Maury show and save you thousands of dollars. Its the investment that keeps on giving, that also earns you extra man points in the process. So STFU and DO IT FAGGOT

Getting a vasectomy is a process that generally requires the combination of scrotum, knife and a steady hand. However, a laptop is fine too. And it doesn't always work.