Hegel

Georg Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel was a German nerd who learned Latin at age three and went on to invent the Triforce and codify the laws of why people on the internet (and, indeed, IRL) are such bandwagon-jumping, backstabbing pricks.

Apart from getting you laid by philosophy co-eds, a quick and dirty familiarity with Hegel can be extremely useful for helping a troll trying to maintain distance from a situation and predict which way the pack will jump next.

Fucking Hegelian Dialectic, How Does It Work?

Hegel theorized that every generation was different to the last because every social phenomenon eventually produces a backlash. The backlash in turn produces massive internal drama, everyone acts like cocks for decades, and by the time everyone's sick of arguing the people involved have moved on / grown up / changed their opinions so much that a new generation has been produced entirely.

Put in its most concise form: Thesis generates antithesis, the clash of the two generates synthesis, and by the time the dust has settled this synthesis is the new thesis - then repeat. The swinging 60s were a reaction against the boring 50s, and in the clash of newfags and oldfags that followed we ended up with the 70s. GG, idiots. GG.

Why This is Important to the Internet

A good analogy here is the research into Alzheimers that has recently got a lot of press for being funded by master lulzsmith and magic-sword-from-space-wielding fucking KNIGHT Sir Terry Pratchett.

Alzheimers is a disease that manifests over a whole lifetime, but because mayflies only live for a day or two, studying them is a lot quicker a way of charting the cellular degeneration caused by the disease.

In exactly the same way, the social systems which Hegel predicted as turning around over the course of generations in his time can be observed today in a matter of weeks or days thanks to internet users being the attention span equivalent of mayflies.

Considering the following example:

Harry Potter becomes huge. Everyone is really happy.
Over time, the sequels hit. Suddenly, Hermione is more interested in Ron than Harry, Harry isn't interested in Luna Lovegood and we've got shipping wars left, right and centre.
Forums erupt into drama. Splinter groups, splinter forums and splinter websites form. Thesis and antithesis war against each other.
Twilight comes out. Everyone decides that Edward is way hotter than Draco, and the disparate sides synthesise to form the new thesis.

...and everything is OK again. That is... UNTIL THE EDWARD VS JACOB WARS START!

TL;DR is that the internet is a ballet of a zillion Hegelian microcosms. There, ED taught you something today. Now go and get laid at an incredibly gay college party.

The master–slave dialectic

Moar info: Conspiracy Theory.

Moar info: Sociology.

Hegel's articulation of the master–slave dialectic has gained huge influence among Leftards and popular conceptions in Western culture. In the master–slave relationship the legitimacy of hierarchy is negated as the master is only better because he exploited the slave, thus he is actually worse; and when the slave recognizes that he (or he and his fellow slaves) are the ones responsible for the greatness of the master's world they will rape the shit out of him. (Sound familiar? Doesn't it?) While that example is a negative form of hierarchy, a positive form of hierarchy would be the relationship between the apprentice and the master, where the master helps the apprentice become as good as he is. (The master–slave dialectic also happens in BDSM.) Expanded to societal groups, those who are better in certain aspects can only exploit those who aren't as good, thus there is the "victim class" and the "oppressor class". Two great examples:

Colonialism: European colonialists fucked over the Africans
America: European colonialists fucked over the Native Americans
Thus, being proud of being white is like being proud of being evil

This Left-wing meme has become very popular, see White Devils, Social Justice, tumblr, Liberalism/Cultural Marxism, Sociology, Feminism (history of men oppressing women: "patriarchy"), Slavery, The Holocaust, etc.

Quotes

	“	Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.	„
	—Seneca the Younger on Religion

	“	[The] horrors, according to postmodernism, are most prominent in the West, Western civilization being where reason and power [reason = power] have been the most developed. But the pain of those horrors is neither inflicted nor suffered equally. Males, whites, and the rich have their hands on the whip of power, and they use it cruelly at the expense of women, racial minorities, and the poor.	„
	—Explaining Postmodernism: Skepticism and Socialism from Rousseau to Foucault by Stephen R. C. Hicks on page 3

	“	Why do White people always steal, rape, and ruin every place they go? The three pillars of White Supremacy are imperialism, genocide, and slavery"	„
	—From an odd Omegle conversation (screenshot)

Video

Blacks cannot be racist as that would mean that they are somehow bad.

"Self-consciousness":

“	Kill whitey.	„
—Aamer Rahman

Gallery

Lulzy images that invalidate hierarchy, great for trolling conservatives (make sure to mention shit about evil capitalists and white males). Notice how the "masters" are total retards, and once the "slave" recognize this they have unlimited permit to butcher them. The masses have created this world! Victims cannot be oppressors!: