- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Pirate Software
—Sun Tsu | ||
Pirate Software is the software developer company run by Thor (Powerword: Jason 'Thor' Hall, not to be mistaken for Jason 'Thor' nburg; born on July 17th, 1987). In fact, Thor Jason chose "Pirate Software" in the hopes that when people googled "pirate software", his name would pop up. Too bad Jason has yet to actually release a game to pirate.
About Jason
You might have seen his videos online: a streamer with decades of real world video game development experience at Blizzard, sharing his knowledge and wisdom with his audience about how he was able to defend World of Warcraft servers from bots and hackers, exposing shitty TV producers from stealing other people's hard cybersecurity work, sharing development and coding secrets, and being all-around supportive of everyone who wants to make a video game. Seems like a pretty cool guy, huh? You might even think he was a pillar of the community, widely respected by his peers and new game developers alike; he even won an industry award from his peers.
PirateSoftware WINS Best Software and Game Development Streamer award 2023 Previous Video | Next Video |
Surely he will have a long and respectable career, and nothing bad will ever happen to him.
Actually, not quite. For all of Jason's apparent knowledge and experience, he's actually just a shell of that person. He is the programming equivalent of a Chocolate Easter Bunny; once you crack open the delicious veneer, all you get is a hollow person with just as much wisdom. But we'll cover how much he doesn't know in due time.
Why the fuck is he 'Thor'?
Believe it or not, but one of the few times Jason isn't lying about himself is with his name. His middle name literally is "Thor". To he fair if that was my legal middle name I would be milking it too, and you'd be stupid not to yourself. Because honestly, who wants to be known as "Jason the Programmer"?
That's the thing, tho: Jason really is just plain ol' "Jason the Programmer"... calling himself "THOR" for as long as he has clearly got to his brain and made him think he was a God amongst us mere mortals. However, he has done nothing to be worthy of that dignity, so "Jason the Programmer" he will forever remain.
Going through Puberty Twice
Apparently Jason had a much higher voice that he currently has. He jokes about "going through puberty twice" which is now why his voice is deeper... but some people aren't buying it. What do you think?
Voice Evolution Previous Video | Next Video |
In reality he probably either uses a voice changer or has practiced speaking in a lower voice. But let's be honest: he probably never had a first puberty to go then through a second one.
His Career at Blizzard
—Confucius | ||
Jason worked for Blizzard for seven years, doing QA testing. Did he get in because he got lucky with a "help wanted" ad? Did his company get purchased by Blizzard and they recognized the quality of his work? Nope: his dad got him hired. However, Jason's time at Blizzard is largely unknown because he never talks about it.
PirateSoftware Never Talks About Blizzard (SUPERCUT) Previous Video | Next Video |
For what it's worth, Jason treasured his time at Blizzard as the first second generation Blizzard employee and absolutely respects his Dad for setting him on a path to game development greatness.
How Pirate Software treats his Dad that works at Blizzard. Previous Video | Next Video |
Degenerate Furry Years
In his early online years, Jason had a second life on Second Life, where he was a furry known as "Maldavious Figtree". This is apparently a source of considerable embarrassment for him and he has tried everything he could to silence all info about this. For example, he asked WikiFur and FurAffinity to blank out his pages... but here they are.
-
loud and proud -
lol nope -
EPIC TEA SIPPAGE!! Yeah. ~Drink that tea~. -JUST- like -that-.....mmmmmm..... It's how I like it..... Oooooooh yeeeaaaaahhhh. -
i hope dad is proud of me uwu -
piRAT Software (made with Thor's approval... uh ok)
Second Life
Jason LOVED his time with Second Life, except now he denies he ever had much to do with it. A lot of his time was spent with the Justice League Unlimited group (only to then crashout later), as well as a dick sucking or two with Windowlic Klaar. Of course Jason completely denies any of this and claims that his time with Second Life was purely transactional: making mods and skins for a bunch of high rolling whales (the money type, the furry type, and the size type... which were sometimes the same person).
It got to the point where any YouTube video covering his years yiffing on Second Life were all taken down by butthurt Maldavious Figtree, but we all know those videos still exist.
LyricWulf Chat Logs
In June 2025, one of Jason's fabulous furry friends, LyricWulf, decided to leak all of the degenerate furry chats they had together from around 2018. Like, EVERY scintillating detail of their relationship was laid bare. Apparently things were going good between them until LyricWulf discovered Jason was married, and when Jason was confronted with this info, Jaspn ended their relationship and blocked LyricWulf.
The chatlogs includes bangers like:
The crazy thing about this is: NONE OF THIS would've been revealed to be exploited if Jason didn’t keep kicking the hornet's nest over this year. Even crazier: this isn't even the most fucked up thing Jason has done.
World of Warcraft
The funny thing is: everything up to this point in Jason's life had been properly sealed and unknown from the internet at large. All the furry accusations were buried, Jason's e-lover LyricWulf was thoroughly discredited... each individual controvery about his life prior to Pirate Software were in the rearview window. Now his new career as an inspiring, wholesome game developer and all-around smart guy was on the up-and-up. Nothing could go wrong! Well, except that he let two guys get killed in WOW Hardcore mode.
I'd write more about this but I'm out of mana; what am I supposed to do?
The Rise of Pirate Software
Champions of Breakfast
Apparently not a bad game. Truly an abberation. However, Jason mentioned that this game has "unpiratable DRM"... but, we all know that wasn't true.
Heartbound
Jason's game, Heartbound, which is supposed to be an Undertale killer, was announced in 2016 and finally released in 2017. It went on to have two highly successful sequels: Mindbound was released in 2018, and Soulbound was release 2021 (delayed slightly due to Covid). The Heartbound trilogy is highly regarded in the Indie Gaming scene, and Jason has inspired many people with his wholesome "ANYONE can make a video game!" attitude.
lol jk Heartbound hasn't even been released yet. It WAS supposed to be released in 2017, but it's been over eight years and he's still working on it. In fact, Jason's coding is ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT for someone who's been "in the industry" as long as Jason (apparently) has.
"I reviewed Pirate Software's code. Oh boy..." - Coding Jesus Previous Video | Next Video |
Eghhh.... well... OK hey, the game can be coded like shit... but it doesn't matter if the game is good, fun and engaging... right? I mean, Undertale and Yandere Simulator have shit code but it would be a stretch for anyone to consider them "bad, unfun games" right? So let's watch Heartbound in action and judge for ourselves!
EEGGGHHHHHHHH. OK this game is garbage. There is no character motivation, no tension, no payoff... the Mom is the bad guy even though she's only ever shown once prior to the BIG REVEAL (and barely at that). "...you're only going to hurt them..." "Delicious food pods!" It reads like a 15 year old girl wrote this.
I made an actual game with actual gameplay back in college using OpenGL, and that technically makes me a more successful game developer than Jason. How about that?
Will Heartbound ever be finished? Maybe, maybe not. But one thing is for sure: the Undertale audience Jason was aiming for has grown up and moved on. Too bad he hasn't.
Offbrand Games
He was working with this third party but had to quit because the Stop Killing Games people were being mean to him :(
Idle Streaming Bonanza
So there's this game on Steam called "Idle Streaming Bonanza" about idle streaming or something, and as a joke the developer did a mockup of a roach-like character with Jason's voice and posted it on Reddit.
Jason got butthurt about it and attempted to sue the developer. Of course the jokes is that it never was in the game, it was a mockup... but Jason was just SOOOOO butthurt that the only solution was to threaten a lawsuit.
I added Pirate Software to my indie game! (He DMCA'd my game!!!) Previous Video | Next Video |
Stop Killing Games
Jason wants to kill games but Stop Killing Games doesn't want to let that happen. Or something like that.
The Fall of Pirate Software
We're still seeing the full effects of Jason's growing lolcow status, but it's clear it's starting to take a toll. But who knows how low he can go! Maybe he'll claim that peanut butter doesn't exist.
So What's His Major Malfunction?
He's a fuckin' egotist. .... Thank you for listening to my TED Talk, be sure to tip your valet.
But seriously...
Jason clearly is a person who built their entire identity on being right, admired, and/or in-control. But this in turn created a man child who can never admit he is wrong. He feels the need to lash out when that image is threatened, or risk shutting down... but regardless of either case, he is driven by a deep fear of vulnerability which he tries to disguise as authority. And as "logical" as he claims to be, he never sussed out a "Plan B" for when his apparent authority becomes challenged. He has been propped up in a sort of eternal croud surf by random chatters and people clicking "Like" on his shorts that he reached a point where be began to believe his own bullshit that his knowledge is factually unchallengeable.
And for a while it worked! For many years Jason was treated as the authority on a number of topics, and any criticism about him was poo-poo'd away as being from someone who was jealous or simply couldn't accept Jason's experience was beyond their own. But little by little, as Jason reached the limits of his actual real world experiences... that's when the cracks began to form. First it was a few slip ups and lapses in judgement. Then it became a recurring pattern of defensiveness and poor communication when called out. Now it's exploded into toxic behavior like banning people in chat (and thinking it's a win), attempting to dominate debates, and—the most classic of egotistical behavior—refusing to apologize for anything he's ever said only to DOUBLE DOWN, despite how the lack of apologizing actually undermines his credibility.
The thing is, there is nothing wrong with Jason himself, at least when it comes his skillset. There is nothing wrong with having a successful father who got you a foot into the door to start your career. There is nothing wrong with writing shitty code and taking eight years to produce something. There is nothing wrong with simply being a QA person who never actually developed a video game. Shit, there's nothing wrong with using MS Paint to illustrate your ideas to your audience. The real problem comes from building up this persona of someone who has never done that, could never do that, and is above all that... only to then double down when a push come to shove when actual experts in the field call you out. If Jason had simply been "yeah, I guess I wasn't all that", he would not only stop the bleeding but also give his audience something they can work together with.
Complicating matters is that his behavior is attracting a massive mob against him. He could've still doubled down and refused to "bend at the knee" by giving an apology... but if he simply shut up about it and not engage with the mob who want a "pound of flesh" from him... none of this would've been a problem. The crazy thing about this is, as "logical" as Jason claims to be, he still hasn't figure this shit out. He hasn't realize that humans are NOT logical by default and the human condition is rooted in emotions. Jason doesn't even realize that HIS OWN ACTIONS—refusing to apologize, doubling down, feeling attacked—are absolutely emotional, not logical. Otherwise he would've quickly reasoned out that the mob reaction against him was proportionally and directly connected to his own actions. All he had to do was SHUT UP, but he refused to. But hey, it's everyone else's fault, not his, so he doesn't have to do anything. Good luck with that, bro!
Don't Be A Jason
You can't change Jason, he's clearly a lost cause. But YOU can change yourself! Of course you can trust this Encyclopedia Dramatica article to explain ALL of your problems, but if you want to avoid becoming a Jason yourself and thus ensure you don't lose in one month what has taken you years to build up... then try these simple solutions:
- DON'T become defensive when your identity is challenged! — this doesn't mean becoming a doormat, but there is nothing wrong in accepting that maybe you don't know as much as you thought you knew, and instead be open to learning something new (maybe even about yourself!)
- DON'T double down on your stance instead of apologizing. — you can have values you stand up for, but if it doesn't survive scrutiny, then maybe you should find some other hill to die on.
- DON'T use power moves—like banning dissenting voices—to retain control. — we aren't always in control, not even in our own lives. You can try to control others to keep them in your life, but you also give them no reason for them to want to stick around.
- DON'T claim expertise to reinforce authority or prestige, even if evidence is lacking. — even rocket scientists and brain surgeons can be wrong about things. Know the limits of your craft and either push through it with the help of others, or accept that someone else may know more than you. Nothing wrong with either!
- ACCEPT we are all emotional beings. — learn that being online involves a lot of pushback for percieved wrongs from others, or others feeling jilted that the person they looked up to as a smart and caring person was anything but that. If you're in that situation, SHUT UP and move on... and the mob will eventually disappear (let alone feel compelled to write an Encyclopedia Dramatica article about you).
A Professional Psychiatrist Tries To Convince Jason Has Problems (any% speedrun: IMPOSSIBLE)
If you want a more in depth look at just what the fuck is wrong with this guy, feel free to watch Jason's interviews with Dr. K, a fully licensed and practising psychiatrist:
Dr. K Tells Pirate Software He’s Arrogant (clip) Previous Video | Next Video |
Videos
Pirate Software when he tries to apologise to the entire gaming community Previous Video | Next Video |
See Also
- Tom Preston — someone else who refused to admit he was ever wrong about anything and that he had nothing to learn from anyone, only to double down until his career crashed and burned.
Links
Pirate Software — you might have seen his shorts
Pirate Software
Pirate Software
Pirate Software- GoPirateSoftware.com — main developer website
- Fur Affinity (archive) — see the EPIC TEA SIPPAGE for yourself
- PirateSoftware.sucks — LyricWulf's FULL ARCHIVE of his gay, degenerate furry chats with Jason
Jason Thor Hall aka PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec
is part of a series on Second Life  |
Anshe Chung • Boyd Doghouse • BritbongReturns • Christoph Naumova • Felinoid • Hardstylenno • Harrison Digfoot • IntLib • JaSonic • Kalel Venkman • Kopyboat • Krispup • Lemonade Coyote • Maldavious Figtree • Mircea Kitsune • MrDisambiguation • Prokofy Neva • Ralph Pootawn • Skuee • Tamias the Chipmunk • Urizenus Sklar • Voland • Yiffy Yaffle • Yoko Beaumont •
Justice League Unlimited • Lost Furest • Patriotic Nigras • FurNation • W-Hat • The Wrong Hands |
|
Pirate Software is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |